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OCVOBER 


COMICS AND MUSIC 











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MONSTER 
DISCOGRAPHY 





PAT BOONE 















COUPITEAD sho PARTY Like IT'S 1959 





























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ROCTOBER COMICS AND MUSIC 2S 
SU MEER 2O0o 

1307 E. S3RD ST. G17 CHICAGO, IL. 6OG15 

www .roctober.com esroctober.com 
BACK IsS8UE INFORMATION ON 
FOLLOWING PAGE, OR CHEECH OUT 
www.dustgroove.com/roctober-htm 
OR wwarnw.insound.com ON THE WEB 


Welcome to a variation on a theme! Every year we have a Comics 
Galore issue, exploring the glories of the American artform made 
popular by the Charles Schulzes, the Winsor McKays and the Jack 
Kirbys of the world. This year we're taking Comics Galore somewhere 
else, as the “Comics” in question this time are Redd Foxx, Rudy Ray 
Moore and the makers of the wax that provides Dr. Demento's trax. 
Unfortunately we're a little low on the word balloon type comics this 
issue, but hopefully our delving deep into the catacombs of Comedy and 
Novelty will satisfy even those in the Charles Atlas advertisement set. 
In these pages you'll not only get to read about the kings of Party 
Records, Foxx and Moore, but also about he Kings of prop comedy 
punk, The Dickies. We'll not only meet T. Valentine, the man behind 
the novelty classic, “Lucille, Are You A Lesbian?” but also remember a 
man who had a supreme love for everything silly, Cub Koda. We'll get 
down with Swamp Dogg, the man with the craziest LP covers, Kid 
Creole, the man with the kookiest coconuts and Maceo, the man who 
made sure that James Brown's and Funkadelic’s flights of absurdity were 
grounded in funk greatness. We'll delve into the dark side of the 
ridiculous as Xuxa, Brazil’s combination of Bamey and Madonna ts 
disturbingly deconstructed, and we'll even check in with three of the acts 
that are making some of the best kooky records of the 21st century, 
despite the fact that the members of the groups likely have several 
hundred years of music biz experience, Los Straitjackets, Phantom 
Surfers and Andre Williams! More historically, we'll do a bit of anti- 
revisionism with a man who was taken seriously (believe it or not) in 
his day, but has been reduced to novelty today in the eyes of music 
history. Nowadays you only hear Pat Boone’s whitebread cover versions 
when documentaries, TV specials or DJs want to show how funny they 
sound next to the sizzling R&B originals. Well Pat wants to be 
reconsidered, and we're giving him his say. Actually, the main impetus 
writer Ken Burke had for interviewing Boone wasn’t that he was a big 
fan, but rather that Boone was the last living huge 50s pop star that you 
can actually have a coherent conversation with. Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee, 
Little Richard...they’re all off the deep end these days. Thus, 
remarkably, Pat Boone is the only person who made it into this issue by 
being sane!?! So put on a Rusty Warren LP, get your wighat on, pour 
yourself a Yoo Hoo and get to reading. The Laffs are on us! 


TABLE OF CONTENTS 
Cover: John G. . 
Kogo and by Alex Wald 


Inside front cover: Punk’ nhead by Jake Austen 
Name &-PpP.1i 
Web Of Mystery -F.1 
cub Koda Remembered 
by James Porter and John Battles -P.4 
Wardwuar ws. DOLEMITE!-F.7 
REDYPD FoOoxxX!-PYP.13 
The Dickies interviewr by John Battles - P. =D 
Kid Creole interview by Eric Ottens- P. 32 
Anare Williams meet Los Straitjackets 
(fotos by John Phillips)-P. 398 
T. Valentin by Jarmes Porter. 
Fotos by John Phillips - F. 40 
Pat Boone by Ken Barke - FP. 42 
My Breakfast writh Boone 
“Pig” Gold-P. 5a 

Swamp Dogg interview by James Porter: YF. Gi 
Phantom Gurfers by Jake Austen- F.G& « 
Maceo! by Jake Austen. 
Qliustration by Jason 
‘SE hithead’ Mitchell 
- _ . Ee x 

xXuxaby Brian Mier 
heat PrP, (BpE8 
Rock Is Funny 
by Dan Buck- P. 7° 
Mask/Monkey/Midget 
Rock Updates -F. 71 
Wraymon Reviews 
CXhlostrations by 
Caudia Parentelia, 
Mike Goetz é& more‘)- 






ame) Sound Recording 


= 


ihe 


aviey B 





WB 
of 






LAND: 
an 


The highest reccomendation we have for a website this month is 

www i ini if you love pop music and you liker things 
mini. this is for you. Tip: Look at all of ‘em! Words can’t describe. but this is 
my favorite site. 

For our Redd Foxx issue let us recommend sanford-and-son.com, 
(http://members.xoom.com/sanfordson/index.html). which seems to even have a 
deal with the estate to sell some weird merch, as well as asuper loving tribute 
to Redd and the show. With less juice but more soul is my other Sanford 
reccomendation, reachable at 

wien Midiesandgentlemiant2s com tredandlamont tredandlamonthtmt Neither 
cover pre -Sanford Foxx enough, but what they do cover is ultra impressive. 


@ WE 
oy 


Loe ME 


Why was the skeleton lonely at the party? Because he had no body to 


dance with! --M. Siler, St. Louis 
Roctober, 


Based on the review of Los Exitos De Sex Pistols that ran in the most 
recent Roctober, J went and got a copy of the album (not easy to find 
--[ had to go to Amsterdam to get one). It's great, really a brilliant, 
twisted document. Via a circuitous route, Johnny Rotten has 
beeninformed about the existence of this album, and requested to get 
« copy. He had never heard of it before. I'll let you know if I get any 
comment back, which I may or may not. _--Ph. M., Boston 


nod |SEA MONKEYS 


..Two-Man 
Rockabilly 
Bands 

1. Twang Bang 
2. Bantam Rooster 

3. Cash Money 

4. Flat Duo Jets 

5. Torturing Elvis 

Note: At one poini. 
FDJets had a third 
member. Cash Money 
recently changed their 
name to Cash Audio & 
added a harmonicist. 
Bands Whose 
Drummers Play The 
Front of the Stage 
[. Los Straightjackets 

2. Dwight Twilley Band 
3. Dead Moon 

4. Treat Her Right 

5. Archies 





! 

| ¢ 
we 
My 








. 





Garage 





NEW LIVE FULL COLOR PICTURE DISC 


SEA MONKEYS 
LIVE IN APE CITY 


7 inches 9 soncs 11 MINUTES OF 
BANANA-FUELED PUNK ROCK MAYHEM! 
ONLY 5 BUCKS POSTPAID 
SOLAMENTE RECORDS 





P.72 3) 539-4969 
Nee ernst - emad: info@plutone.com Bsa eourizaiel act ne meaielneea eet 
PP. 80 Website: www.plutone.com | 1 Hip, Subterranean & Underground Medicine 








ROCTOBER MEDIA 
EdvMPiReE 


Send Concealed cash, Money Orders or Checks TO 
1507 E. 53RD ST. # 617 CHICAGO, IL 60615 
Make checks and M.O.'s out to Jake Austen 


SUBSCRIPTIONS ONLY $10 FOR 3 
ISSUES ($15 CAN/MEX, $20 WORLD) 


Subscriptions and back issues available w/ credit card 
online at www.dustygroove.com/roctober.htm Back issues 
also available from Insound.com 





BOLD=INTERVIEW. IT. ALICS=COMIC 

#27 PSYCHEDELIC SUPERHEROES, PLASTIC PEOPLE OF THE UNIVERSE, 
MARVIN RAINWATER, D.J. FONTANA, CHUCK BERRY, KENNY WAYNE 
SHEPHERD, MISFITS, ROCK & WRESTLING, FLAMING LIPS, GREGG ‘MR. 
COMPILATION PRODUCER” GELLER, DAVID LEE ROTH, CHARLES 
SCHULZ, LITTLE RICHARD, WAX TRAX RECORDS, DON “SUGARCANE” 
HARRIS, SCREAMING JAY HAWKINS 


#26 COMICS GALORE ISSUE: CIBO MATTO, ALVIN CASH, BRUNETTI'S 
NANCY TRYOUTS, ROCK & WRESTLING, SPARKS, TIM MAIA, DAN CLOWES, 
MORTIIS, JOHNNY LEGEND, TERRY JACKS, MONKS, HALL OF DYNAMIC 
GREATNESS CALENDER 


#25 UPDATE ISSUE: JERRY BUTLER, HASIL ADKINS, CORDELL 
JACKSON, CHARLES WRIGHT, R. KELLY, THE FLYS, TRIKK BABY, 
KOTTONMOUTH KINGS, SCREAMING LORD SUTCH, ORION, MUMMIES, 
SAM THE SHAM, GOSPEL MIDGETS/JOY BOYZ, LOU CHRISTIE, ANDRE 
WILLIAMS, GEORGE ELLIOT, FELA, JOBRIATH, CRIME, THE PHANTOM, 
THE FAST, DOLLY, SKIP SPENCE, KISS, DION MCGREGOR, EDDIE MONEY, 
BILLY LEE RILEY, RONNIE DAWSON 


#24 VANILLA ICE, PATTI SMITH, THE NUGE, SUGAR PIE DESANTO, 
SWINGIN' NECKBREAKERS, G.G. ALLIN, ALBERT AYLER, STRAWBERRY 
SHORTCAKE, WIX , RAY SMITH, WAYNE WORLEY, WAYNE KEELING 


#21 LIMITED SUPPLY' SPICE GIRLS, CARL PERKINS, KASENETZ-KATZ, CRAMPS, 
DAVID ALLAN COE, MOE TUCKER, ANNABELLA LWIN, MORTIIS, THE 
MAKE*UP, EDIE ADAMS, SKIP SPENCE 


#20 *LIMITED SUPPLY * COMIX GALORE/STH ANNIVERSARY. SECRET THREE, WEIRD 
AL, KISS, EQUALS, GOBLINS, GODZILLA, LOS CRUDOS, RUNAWAYS, DOLLY 
PARTON, ? (QUESTION MARK), WEST COAST POP ART EXPERIMENTAL BAND, 2 LIVE 


CREW, JOHNNY THUNDERS 


#19*LIMITED SUPPLY* ROCKNROLL AIDS QUILT, RICKY WILSON, QUEEN, PETER 
ALLEN, LIBERACE, KLAUS NOMI, ESQUERITA, SYLVESTER, EAZY E, FOUNTAINS OF 
WAYNE, EIGHT SHINING SHEBREWS, BO DUDLEY, MAYO THOMPSON, SHONEN 
KNIFE, PHAROAHS 

#18 * * CHICAGO ROCK &SOUL TOUR, ALICE COOPER, EIGHT 
GREAT JEWS, TINY TIM, THE TRENIERS, MILT TRENIER 

#17 ZINE TRIBUTE ISSUE, ANDRE WILLIAMS, WALKER BROTHERS, ?, 
STANDELLS, JOHN HOLMSTROM, NICO, KICKS, DORA HALL, JANIS 
MARTIN, P-FUNK 

#16 MONKEY ROCK'N'ROLL, DENNIS DUNAWAY, NEW COLONY 6, ? & THE 
MYSTERIANS, TYRONE DAVIS, SAMMY DAVIS, JR.,. MONKS, GOBLINS, 
HALL OF GREATNESS POSTER 

#1S JAYNE COUNTY, CYNDI LAUPER, OSCAR BROWN, JR., JOHN DOE, 
RON KITTLE, GEORGE STRAIT, OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN, LOU CHRISTIE, 
SERGE GAINSBOURG, WANDA JACKSON, OZZY OSBOURNE, LITTLE 
JIMMY SCOTT 

#14 *LIMITED SUPPLY* GO NUTS, R&B ECCENTRICS, KISS, WAYNE KRAMER, 
SAMMY. INCLUDES PUNK'NHEAD FLEXI DISC WITH SONGS BY GIRL TROUBLE, 
MCRACKINS, PEDRO, GOBLINS, BUTTERGLORY, SCISSOR GIRLS AND MORE! 

#13 GREAT AND SMALL ISSUE. JERRY LEE LEWIS, SUGARLOAF, KIDDIE- 
A-GO-GO, ROLLINS & ROKY, VELVET CRUSH, PEDRO BELL, THE MONKS, 
GARY GLITTER., THE HISTORY OF MIDGET ROCK AND ROLL, , KENNY 
"R2D2 " BAKER, KID DYNAMITE, HFH, GARAGESHOCK, WILDGIRL 
GOGORAMA oS HALL OF GREATNESS POSTER 


PUNK WHEAD APPEARS IN 84 AND ALL SSUES AFTER. SAMMY REVIEWS APPEAR IN BSUES 4, 8-10, AND FROM 12 ON. 
WAYMON APPEARS IN ISS UBS S$ AND UP, ROCKIN’ ACE APPEARS iN 87 AND ALL SUBSEQUENT SSUES... EXCLUDING &22. 
BEAU GRUMPUS PANCAKE PARTY APPEARS IN 19-21, 23 -UP 


NEW!!! THE BEST OF CHIC-A-GO-GO VIDEO! 
62 minutes of concentrated excitement featuring Ratso, 
Mia, The Chic-A-Go-Go Dancers and tons of special guests 
including The Shirelles, Kelly Hogan, Bobby Conn, 
MOTO, The Donnas, Cynthia Plaster Caster and MORE! 
Includes a special montage with hundreds of guests and 
comes in a deluxe box with King Velveeda art! Only $15 


Also: Chic-A-Go-Go - The Soundtrack CD! 
Over 30 tracks of musical madness! Only $12 ppd! 
Order both with check or m/o throught the mail 
from Roctober or use your credit card online 
from www.belugarecords.com 

























CHIC-A-GO-GO VIDEOS! 


Chic-A-Go-Go, Roctober's own Cable Access Kid's Dance Show 
available on video. See the stars lip synch to their hits! Each 
volume approximately 2 hours, in a custom box, a recorded in SP 


mode. 

Each volume is $10 ppd. 
VOLUME 1: # 1 w/ special guests The Lone Ranger & 3 Blue 
Teardrops, # 2 w/Oscar Brown, Jr & The Kaisers, #3 w/Andre 
Williams & The Goblins, #4 w/ "Velvet Welk" 
VOLUME 2: #5 withe monks & Scissor Girls, #6 w/Jan Terry, 
#7 wi Leviathan, #8 Salute to Prince w/tribute artist Teee 
VOLUME 3: #9 w/The Exotics and Treniers, # 10 w/ Pedro Bell 
& Dirty Wurds" # 11w/Mink Oil, # 12 w/The Pharaohs (live ) 
VOLUME 4: # 13, Fireshock Special w/Volcanoes, Bouncing 
Balls, Chinese Millionaires, Hentchmen, Quadrajets, 
Goblins & The Crown Royals, # 14 w/Lord of Lightning & 
Bobby Conn, # 15 w/ Shonen Knife & New Rob Robbies, # 16 
Steppers Special w/ Herb Kent The Kool Gent 
VOLUME 5: #17? & the Mysterians Special , # 18 Psychedelic 
special w/Red Krayola, # 19 Skateboards, #20 Monkey Rock'n'Roll 
VOLUME 6: # 21 Filmfest, # 22 w/Gentleman John Batties, # 
23 wi Slink Moss, # 24 Goblins and Friends 
VOLUME 7: # 25, # 26 Fela Memorial, # 27 French Videos, # 28 
w/Nerves 
VOLUME 8: #29 wiIdiot Box, #430 Commercials, #31 
w/Stereotypes, #32 Singing Nun Special 
VOLUME 9:#33 masks, #34Halloween, #35w/Kweisi, #3 
6w/Greenhouse 
VOLUME 10: #37 Kids Party, #38 International!, #39 X-Mas Special, 
#40 "Ha Ha Hannukah" 
VOLUME I1: #41 w/ Cramps & Frontier, #42 RocknRoll 
Heaven97, #43 w/ Chamber Strings, #44 w/ Utopia Carcrash 
VOLUME 12: #45 ,w/The El Dorados, #46 wiThe Polkaholics 
& Guitar Wolf #47 Hip Hop Sock Hop, #48 Millennium Videos 
VOLUME 13: #49 New York Dolls Special w/ Sy! Sylvain, #50 
Anniversary , #51 w/John Huss, #52 Lone Ranger Memorial 
VOLUME 14:#53w/Sara B! & Creative Soul, #54w/Rockin' 
Johnny #55 w/Cynthia Plaster Caster & Dishes,# 56 Ballroom 
Dance Champs 
VOLUME 15:#57Goblin Pride, #58w/Steelers, #59w/Grand Theft 
Auto & Mustache, #60 Ratso at the WARP tour w/The 
Specials,Ozomotli, Aquabats 
VOLUME 16: #61 w/Geronimo, #62 w/Rockin' Billy, #63 
German Special, #64 White Sox Special 
VOLUME 17: #65 Filmfest, #66 w/ Eiren Cassal, 467 w/Team 
Satan & Hoodoo Hoedown, #68 Soul-abration 
VOLUME 18#69 Monkey Party w/The Krinkles. #70 
w/Baltimores, #71 Koo Koo Videos. #72 w/Sweet Thunder 
VOLUME 19#73 w/Monotrona, #74 Late, But Great '98, #75 75 
Years of Chic-A-Go-Go!, #76 KISSUE Party 
VOLUME 20 #77 w/ Bo Dudley, #78 Mia's MT VAdventure 
w/Beck, Everlast, Soul Coughing, #79 w/ 6 Feet Over, #80 
Swing Videos w/Louis Jordan, Louis Prima and The Treniers 
VOLUME 21 #81 Funkadelic Dance Party, #82 Birthday Bash w/ 
Lobstar, New Rob Robbies, Bouncing Balls, #83 Chic-A-Go 
Going to the Movies, #84 w/Astrid 
VOLUME 22 #85 Michael Jordan Party wShioinke, #86 
PASSOVER IN PUPPETTOWN (S50 min), #87 Youth Parade 
VOLUME 23 #88 w/Ronnie Rice & Carmelhed, #89 Nerd Party 
wiJ. Davis Trio, #90 Video Press Kit, #91 Wacky Wideo War 
VOLUME 24 #92 w/The Blacks & Tav Falco, #93 Backwards Day 
w/We Ragazzi, #94 Monkey Mania 2, #95 Museum Day w/ Poi Dog 
Pondering Frank and House-O Matic 
VOLUME 25 #96 w/Quintron, Miss Pussycat, Sponge + 
Carter Lee Tribute, #97 Wedding Show w/Prairie Town, #98 James 
Brown Dance Party ,#99 Ratso goes EXTREME w/Motorhead, 
Marky Ramone, Impaler, Trash Brats, Texas Terri and more! 


VOLUME 26 #100 wi Lou Christie,Vanilla Ice, Shirelles, 
The Mentally Ill, Otha Turner, Dickey Lee, Girl Scout 
Troop 753,Jello Biafra,DJ Curt & Ronnie Dawson (2 Hrs) 


VOLUME 27 #104 Cultural Center, #105 w/ Mr. Rudy Day, #106 
w/Kung Fu Monkeys & Cats & Jammers, #107 w/ Alejandro 
Escovedo, Mainliner and The Creeps 









VOLUME 28 #108 w/The Donnas, Kim, Davie Allan, 
Knoxville Girls, Gentleman John Battles, #109 wi Ebo 
Dadson and The Returnables, #110 LIVE! w/ Kelly Hogan, #111 


1p id and The Puta-Pon 
VOLUME 29 #112 Wacky Wideo War Il, #113 w/ The Havox, #114 


wi Mr. Wet & Pogo Cello, #115 Scary Movie! 

VOLUME 30 #116 Halloween w/Caketown Puppets, #117 wi 
Pretty Things, Cibo Matto, Li?l Wally and Pansy Division, 
#118 w/M.O.T.O. and Lynnard’s Innards, #119 Puppet Film Fest! 
VOLUME 31 #120 Garage Hoedown, #121 w/Deals Gone Bad, Know 
Budget, American Dream, DJ Kurt , #122 Ha Ha Hanukah Special 
Edition, #123 w/Phenomnal Cat 

VOLUME 32 #124 w/Soozers, #125 w/Twang Bang, #126 w/Alan 
Gillett, #127 Gone Before Their Time ‘99 

VOLUME 33 #128 wimonks, Demolition Dollrods, Bobby Joe 
Ebola, #129 Cavestomp! w/Chocolate Watchband, Vipers, 
Dead Moon, 5-6-7-8s, Hatebombs, #130 Cavestomp! 
w/Standells, Gravedigger V, Mooney Suzuki, Loons, 
Greenhornes, #131 Goblins-Return of the Pharoahs 
VOLUME 34 New Year’s Party w/El] Dorados(live)&Bobby 
Conn(2hr) 

VOLUME 35 #136 w/Milt Trenier & Tub Ring, #137 wiRico & 
Loraxx, 138 wiFernando Jones & Flaming Lips, #139 
w/Teenage Frames & Ray St. Ray the Singing Cabdriver 
VOLUME 36#140 Passover In Puppettown 2000, #141 w/ Ted 
Ansani, #142 w/ The Smugglers & L’il Shorties, #143 
Rockabilly Hoedown w/ Billy Lee Riley, Deke Dickerson, 
Marvin Rainwater, Sonny Burgess & Sleepy Labeef 
VOLUME 37 #144 4th Annual Film Fest Pt. 1 w/ Rusty Nails 
& Groundspeed #145 4th Annual Film Fest Pt. 2 w/ Rusty 
Nails, Lisa Brandt & Star Vehicle #146 w/ Celeda 

147 wi Marvin Tate’s D-Settlement & Big Angry Fish 
VOLUME 38 #148 WACKY WIDEO WAR III, #149 WACKY WIDEO 
WAR IV, #150 RATSO: BEHIND THE MUSIC, #151 w/ Swamp 
Dogg & Esham 

VOLUME 39 #152 w/Sleater-Kinney & Evil Beaver, #153 Li'l 
Ratso in Europe w/ Eiffel 65 & Briar, 154 Rooftop Dance Party 
w/ Jim “Annoying Music Show” Nayder, 155 w/ Los 
Straitjackets & OK GO 






































Vv 


alilimiarianlieap 
New & used LPs & CDs. 





THE GOBLINS - RETURN OF THE PHARAOHS VHS (Gonef Video) A live 
concert in full Egyptian couture performed att he Ancient Egyptian musesum, The 
Oriental Institute. 
“The Nile,” “Curse Of The Pharaohs,” “Giant Pharaoh Rock N Roll,” “Passover,” 
“Tribute To Pharaoh Sanders/Sun Ra,” “King Tut,” “Egypt Medley,” “Return Of 
The Pharaohs” $5.00 

KISSUE Release Party (Shady Deal Video) Four bands (USA, Cash Money, Eisen, 
Goblins) become KISS multi-solo bands (an all Gene Simmons band, and all Peter 
Criss band, etc.) and play KISS songs, plus The Polkaholics play their KISS tribute 
song. $6.00 

Instore (Gorilla Video) An almost unwatchable security camera videotape of an 
instore record signong by the Goblins rescued from bottleggers. $4.00 


"Unasuite, The Goblin Guerrillas with "Giant Robot”, "(The Police Are) Just Doing 
Their Jobs", "Mr. Beef”, the first Goblins show with "Dance of the Dead" and 
"Temple of the Phantom," and the Goblins "Chic-A-Go-Go" theme song, plus The 
7. poy "Rock Me’, The Hideaways "Wipeout® and the monks “monks 
chant".$7. 


ROCTOBER RECORDS 
001 ROCKTOBERFEST COMPILATION 7” (TART, BOSS FUEL, 
GOBLINS, SMALL FACTORY, JOHNNY CREEPER) $3 

002 SLINK MOSS “SUICIDE ROCK" (SOLD OUT) 

003 GOBLINS/EIDEAWAYS: LIVE AT THE FIRESIDE 7" $3 

004 A TASTE OF PUNK'N Compilation Flexi W/ Songs By Girl 
Trouble, Mcrackins, Pedro Bell, Butterglory, Scissor Girls & more! (Free 
in Roctober 14, but if you want one unbound for some reason, $2) 

005 BLACK LONE RANGER 7” (SOLD OUT) 

006 GOBLINS FLEXI "DELILAH'S THEME*/"SMOKIN' DICK’ - $2 
007 NEIL SAMBURGER This flexi was a holiday gift to 
subscribers a few years ago. We found a batch of them | 
and have a limited number on sale for §5 each. 
008 KISS HELL KISS HOMAGE COMPILATION 8" - SOLD OUT 
009 CHIC-A-GO-GO - THE SOUNDTRACK! CD $12 -info above | 


OTHER VIDEOS: 






“Go Down Moses,” “Creeping Death,” Pharaoh-A-Go-Go,” 







The GOBLINS and FRIENDS! (GVI Video) "Giant Robot Rock'n'Roll” video, 








4 


Vv 


Hi-FiRecords 


Ve en = Jatt 





CUB KODA :Smokin' In Heaven 


by James Porter 

Cub Koda, who passed away in July of liver failure, is one 
of those people who wore so many hats thal it was easy to 
know of one of his projects and not the other. People who 
read his "Vinyl Junkie" column in Discoveries magazine 
might be surprised to see a Cub Koda album in the record 
bins. A buddy of mine knew Koda from his liner notes for 
vanous projects, but didn't know he was a member of 
Brownsville Station, Motor City madmen from the 
seventies. Still more people are amazed that the guy who 
sang and played guitar with the band who (originally) did 
"Smokin' In The Boys' Room” wasn't buming himself out 
on the road, opening up for the new edition of Black Oak 
Arkansas. What would be considered overachievement to 
some was simply living life to the fullest for Cub Koda. 
He wrote, produced, performed, and continually stayed on 
the scene in various ways. When VHI approached Koda 
to do a segment for their Where Are They Now? program 
(re: Brownsville Station), Koda warmed them up front that 
he had no hard-luck stories to tell, and good for him: 
anybody whose seen this show knows that they can be 
harsh on aging hard-rock bands. Koda, and Brownsville 
Station in particular, were not just another embarrassment 
from the Watergate/energy crisis years; at their best, they 
were the natural extension of the Detroit sound spearheaded by the 
MC 5; high protopunk energy crossed with roadhouse roots. In my 
lifetime, I've known people to wave the flag high for the Detroit rock 
sound of the sixties and early seventies. There will always be 
someone to remind us how great the MC 5, Stooges, Mitch Ryder, 
early Bob Seger, etc. were. If they're really hip, they'll put in a plug 
for Funkadelic, who came out of that same scene. But these same 
people, when confronted with Brownsville Station, will recall 
"Smokin’ In The Boys' Room" (a Top 10 hit in the winter of 1973-74, 
later covered by Motley Crue), and smirk. In my mind, Brownsville, 
at their finest, are one of those metal bands who somehow predated 
punk, ala Thin Lizzy or the Sweet. During a period where most 
hard-rock bands believed in long-winded solos and draggy rhythms, 
Brownsville had a real old-time AM radio sensibility that keeps it 
sounding current, especially when some alternative band remembers 
their hair metal roots. This was due in part to guitarist/singer Cub 
Koda, who latched onto the big beat as a kid, snapping up every 
Chess and Sun 45 he could get his hands on, before growing up to 
play in a series of Michigan bands like the Del-Tinos (his early frat- 
rock combo) and the Koda Corporation (his blues band). In 
interviews, Brownsville always insisted that in the early 70's, other 
bands considered them "weird" for performing jacked-up versions of 
fifties songs, complete with Koda's jive raps delivered in that flat 
Midwestem tough-guy accent. This penchant for humor stood the 
band in good stead through ten years and seven albums. After the 
band dissolved in 1979, Koda continued to release solo albums for 
various labels, including an album recorded with the Houserockers, 
bluesman Hound Dog Taylor's old combo. (It's said that Hound Dog 
and the Houserockers used to play the bluesy "Smokin’ In The Boys' 
Room" as a warmup for their set.) He also became known for his 
"Vinyl Junkie" column, which ran in Gulcher, Goldmine, and finally 
Discoveries. Early columns were essentially Cub rambling on about 
various old rockabilly/garage/blues/C& W/novelty discs in his 











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collection; around 1985, when more of this music was being reissued, he concentrated 
on the newer compilations. At no time did he fall prey to the stuffiness that afflicts 
most record collectors writing about music (when the music and the personalities take 
a back seat to catalog numbers and label designs, as intriguing as they are, you're in 
trouble). Koda was not above reprising "Smokin’..." for the occasional oldies revue, 
but at the same time he knew the value of keeping the slate clean and fresh. His 
writings and his music survive (witness the All-Music Guides, which feature a 
number of his bylines...many on Redd Foxx reords | might add); the humor, passion 
and spirit behind them will always be remembered. And, no, ] was NEVER 
embarassed to admit I Jiked "Smokin' In The Boys' Room.” 


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Dolemite. Rudy Ray Moore. Millions of 
people have laughed and maybe even cried 
while listening {to his numerous comedy 
records. "Dolemite for President,” “Eat Out 
More Often,"j and “I Can't Believe I Ate the 
Whole Thing” are but a fraction of the titles. 
He's been sampled by Easy E, Dr. Dre, 2 Live 
Crew and whole whack of others we will 
probably never know about. Dolemite has also 
starred in a wad of classic flicks such as “Petey 
Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son-In-Law” and my 
personal favorite "The Human Tornado". But 
there happens to be more matey! Norton 
Records is about to expose the world to 
another side of Dolemite, via “Hulley Gully 
Fever,” a compilation of Rudy's 50s and early 
60s R&B recordings! Dolemite was a rock n 
roll pioneer too! Not to be outdone, Lookout 
Records has unleashed "XXX Party,” an adult 
comedy record by San Francisco's masked 
madmen, the Phantom Surfers, featuring 
contributions from Neil Hamburger, Blowfly, 
and, none other than, Dolemite! This deserves 
further investigation, and so... 





ever end up doing 


Nardwuar: Who are you? 

Dolemite: | am Rudy Ray Moore, is Dolemite! 
Nardwuar: Rudy, is there going to be 
some Dolemite franchising soon ? 
Dolemite: Yes. | am now featured with Altoids 
mints. Instead of them calling them Altoids 
mints, they are calling them Dolemints. 
They're for breathe, to clean the breath. 
Nardwuar: That's kind of interesting, 
isn't it? I bet a lot of people wanted 
to clean your breath in the ‘60s, 
didn't they? Probably with soap?! 
Dolemite: Well, don't you know it! (laughs) 


And, Rudy Ray Moore, in the very 
beginning, at the very very 
beginning, you were a dancer? Like 


going way back, you were a dancer? 

I was a dancer. They called me Prince Basil 
Dumarr. 

What groups did you work with back 
then, Rudy? 

I] worked with a group called the Prince Dumarr, 
uh, African Dancers. We did afro dances, and 
my dances were called the Drama of the Hindu 
Dance, the Drama of the African Dance, the 
drama of the Chinese Dance, and it was my own 
Operation, my own organization that did them. 
It was African dancing. Jungle dancing. You 
know, like, you saw jungle films when you see 
afro dancing done by natives in the jungle? [It 
was an interpretation of that. 

What year was this approximately, 
and where? 

This was in 1952, in Cleveland, Ohio. 

When you were dancing, Rudy Ray 
Moore, did you ever throw any lyrics 
in there as well? 

When I danced, I did chants. Before when I'd hit 
the floor, I'd go “Ahhhh ahhhh. Semilooooo. 
Jungoooooo.” And then the drums would start 
playing and we'd start dancing. So I did do a 
little singing in the dancing. 


As rock ‘n’ roll started coming in, 
did you get into that with = the 
routines of dancing? Like, did you 


“The Chicken" or 
"The Mashed Potato” or "The Fly"? 


Were you dancing for any rock '‘n' 
roll groups? 

No, in the rock ‘n’ roll era I came out as a 
singer. I did rock'n' roll tunes like "Robbie 
Dobbie" and one of the biggest I had was called 
"Step It Up And Go." 


7 


‘hit’ 
with 


that 
Moore, 
your early days, rockin’ out. 

The closest I got to it was the tune I| did on 


Did you have any hits 
Billboard , Rudy Ray 


World Pacific Records called "Easy Easy 
Baby.” It was called a, not a bullet, but it was 
reaching for the chart but it never made it. 

Do you remember who you played 
with back then? What was the circuit 
that you were on? Do you remember 
your first gig, like your first big 
show you played? Where was this? 
When was this? 

Mm, yes. the first big show I did was many 
years ago I worked with the late Big Joe Tumer 
in Cleveland at the Paradise Auditonum. 
Whereabouts did you play? Did you 
play all across the country? What 
was the circuit that you were on? 

Uh, during those years, I did take out groups 
like -- you've heard of Ray Charles, have you? 
I have indeed! 

I took Ray Charles out on tour where we played 
Louisville, Kentucky. We played, um, 
Cincinatti. We played all up and down Ohio 
and Kentucky. Then I come back with that 
show, and I carried Chuck Willis out. He's the 
one that had "CC Rider”. 

Now when you say you carried these 


guys out like Chuck Willis or Ray 
Charles, were they in the house 
band? 


They were the stars of the show and I was the 
manager of the operation, with my own act 
with them too. 

I think it's totally fascinating that 
you were there, right from the early 
days of rock 'n’ roll, and even before 
that. Did you do any gigs with James 
Brown at ail? 

Yes. Many of them. I worked with James 
Brown in the Sports Arena here in Los Angeles 
some five times. James Brown was my very 
dear friend at one time, because I had control of 
programming records in Los Angeles, and 
when a new record would come out, he'd ask me 
to program it. I would program it and he'd 
treated me so royal, he'd put me on the show 
for at least ten minutes, on stage, but when | 
lost that radio program, uh, he hasn't spoke to 
me but once since. So I think I had something 
to offer him at that time, and when I lost that. 
James Brown and myself would not associate 
any longer. 





Rudy, when you were brought on 
Stage with people like James Brown, 
what exactly were you doing at that 
point? Were you singing? 

Comedy. 

Was there much wild partying back 


then, you know, dope smoking and 
orgies. Was there a lot of that? 

I am not involved in drugs so whenever this 
was going on, if I knew it was going on, I 
never went in their rooms, or associated with it 
because I am definitely against drug using. 


al a3, 


Well, Rudy Ray Moore, surely the 
sex must have interested you. What 
o you remember about Screamin’ Jay 
awkins? 
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, I will remember him 
very greatly because I worked with Screamin’ 
Jay Hawkins in the Royal Theatre in 
Baltimore, and he was wild. | mean, wild! I 
think the girls used to come and invade his 


. dressing room. And I saw it once, I'd peeked in 
- 5. on him, so he was wild! 


Because apparently he had sex 
twenty-one times a day, and there's 
even a website now (jayskids.com) 
that’s dedicated to finding all his 
fifty-seven children so his kids can 
get rewarded with some of the little 
money that he _ had. Fifty-seven 
children, Screamin' Jay had, Rudy 
Ray Moore! 

Is Screamin’ Jay passed? I heard he was in 
France. 

Yes, he did. A little while back. 

I didn't know he had passed. 

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Speaking 
of kids, Rudy Ray Moore, are the 
Phantom Surfers your kids now? 

The Phantom Surfers, [ am adopting them. 

Did you ever meet Wynonie “There's 
Good Rocking Tonight" Harris? 

Yes, 1 knew Wynonie very well. Wynonie "Mr. 
Blues” Harris” he was one of those go-gelters 
too. 

He was quite a wild partier, 
he? 

Yes. I know he would have beautiful girls come 
to his room at one time and he'd pick and look 
and look and look and say, “here's ten dollars 
for you, uh, get your ass out here, I ain't never 
messed with a bitch as funky as you." Now 
he'd take another, and say, “oh you take this 
ten dollars and get your ass out of here, ‘cause | 
ain't never messed with a bitch as ugly as you 
are.” And then another one would come and 
said, "now you get your ass out here ‘cause | 
never fucked a bitch as black as you are." And 
on and on until he'd pick the right one he 
wanted. That was one of his by-lines. 


wasn't 


Rudy Ray Moore, Dolemite, you are 
_truly “sexsational!” Like you are 
“sexsational!” Did any lovely ladies 


ever rip your clothes of when you 
were performing, Rudy Ray Moore? 
Well, 1 had these type of things. I was a 
Streaker at one time. I used to streak in the 
nightclubs, and when I would be streaking, the 
ladies would take off, running behind me. One 
time I was streaking and in order to be exciting 
I had an artificial penis wrapped around me, and 
it was tacked on, it looked so real, and the 
ladies caught up with me and snatched it off, 
and held it upin the crowd and said " Ohh, I got 
it! f got it! I got it!" That was one of the most 
embarassing moments , but I said ‘I still got 
the real one!’ 

And you still got it! And you are 
Rudy Ray Moore, Dolemite! Rudy, 
when you moved to Los Angeles, you 
mentioned you had a radio show, or 
you were programming radio shows. 
Programming the Dolphins of Hollywood 
Record Show and I did spin records on it. | 
would present the Album of the Hour, and call 


8 


it a quiet hour, and we would present uh groovy 
ballads. One of them ballads that I really liked 
to present at that time was Erma Franklin, 
sister of Aretha Franklin, had a record called 
“Time After Time." And I used to wear that out 
because that was such a beautiful ballad. And 
then I played other ballads like Nancy 
Wilson's “It's Over" and stuff like that. 
Beautiful stuff that I played on the air on the 
Dolphin Show. 

You must have met everybody on the 
Way up, everybody! 

James Brown, Eartha Kitt, Jackie Wilson, BB 
King, Bobby Bland, all of them | participated 
in interviewing them for the radio show. 
Rudy, did Bullmoose Jackson, who 
had the hit "Big Ten Inch (Record)" 


inspire you at all to move in the 
Dolemite direction? 

Uh, no. 

Were you aware of Bullmoose 
Jackson? 


Of course I knew Bullmoose Jackson. He had 
lips so big it looked like he was wearing a 
turtleneck sweater. 

Were you the first guy to say "fuck" 
on a record, Rudy? 

The very first on the face of the earth...Richard 
Pryor did it four years after 1 did. And a lot of 
people may want to credit Richard Pryor with 
being the outline for the comedians today, but 
I am the world's first to come out with explicit 
language on record, and I don't call it "dirty 
words” I call it ‘ghetto expressions in form of 
art.’ 

And what other words did you pioneer 
on a record 

Fused "motherfucker" and I used "eating pussy” 
and “sucking dicks,” "bitch this,” and the term 
“bitch” was heavy with me. And I was the 
world's first comedian to come out like that. 
Now Redd Foxx was before me but at the time 
he come out, he was not able to use that term. 
Rudy, was it hard to get these records 
pressed? Like bringing them to the 
pressing plants? Did _ the pressing 
plants refuse to press them? 

No. In fact, one of the pressing plants that I 
went to picked up my record and released it and 
distributed it nationally. They were glad to get 
it and wanted more of them and never 
questioned me what kind of record I was 
making. Whatever I made and carried to them, 
they took and distributed. I have twenty-one 
albums which I leased to Kent Records which | 
own today. 

Rudy Ray Moore, what was 
biggest selling record you- 

Eat Out More Often, and This Pussy Belong to 
Me. 

And how many did that sell? 

Eat Out More Often in its first return was about 
338,000 records 

Without airplay. Just walking the street, 
making people aware of it. 

And how many records have you sold 
totally, all together, of all your 
records? 

How many that I've gotten paid for is not as 
many as I have sold. I'll leave it there, because 
you know the companies always ripped you 
off. So, I did make enough money to make a 
movie with. 


your 





What was the interesting ways that 
record companies tried to rip you 
off? Like, how did they trick artists 
back then? Do you have any advice of 
how they tricked artists? So people 
can avoid that in the future, Rudy 
Ray Moore? 

Well... even today it still happens. The only 
thing I can say is to be a little bit close to on 
top of what you are doing than the artists that 
did in my early days. We were not as aware of 
the loopholes in the business as the young 
artist is today. So the advice that I would have 
to give them is to develop the talent and make 
it great, so it would work when it gets out here 
on a record. and make darn sure that you get 
some of your money before you put out another 
record and give it to them. Therefore they will 
give you more of the money that you've got 
coming. If you don't pile it up all at one time. 
Like I was putting out a record every two 
months, you see, and giving them everything 
at one time. 

What you did, Rudy Ray Moore, was 


totally amazing! When you think 
about it. Like you were totally Do It 
Yourself. Totally DIY, No radio 


play. No advertising. You did it all 
yourself. You got it out there. 

I walked the streets of the ghettos through the 
United States. When I say walked the streets 
we would get in our car and load it up with a 
trunk full of records and go from city to city, 
passing out records, letting people hear what 
we had, and before we'd leave the town, the 
record store was buzzing "where can I get it at,” 
that's the way we made hits in my days. Not by 
radio airplay, because you couldn't play it on 
the air 

Have the cops ever shut you down at 
all, at any of your performances? Did 
you ever get arrested because of your 
act? 


No. 

Did you ever have to fight or use any 
martial arts to perhaps defend 
yourself against somebody that 


might have been insulted by your act 
9 


No. The people that came out to hear me, they 
knew what was going on because it was 
advertised that way. “If you are offended by 
explicit language, dont come in.” So the 
advertisement was for explicit language and 
they poured in. So we didn't have that 
problem. 

You must have gotten quite a bit of 
interesting mail over the years, 
haven't you, Rudy Ray Moore? 

Yes, but it was not so derogatory. [| have 
always been commended for my performance. 
People have always loved to come to see it, 
and I have never had that in the clubs, maybe a 
little bit, uh, women you know may, uh, 
object, but then, you know, if they wanted 
their money back, they was given it back and 
they could leave. 

Who were your rivals, 
there any rivals on the circuit who 
were up against you like the 
Baronness Bobo? Was that a rival? 
No. Baroness, the Baroness Bobo, uh, if you 
repeat that name anywhere, the average person 


Rudy? Were 





would know nothing about it, totally 
forgotten. So the Baroness Bobo never stood 
close to anything I was doing because they 
only had one record to my knowledge. and it 
was a dog. 

But Rudy Ray Moore, 
records, and I'm sure 
quite a lot of people. 
comics, once you. started getting 
going or comedians who tried to 
tread the same water that you did? 

Oh yes, all of them. From, uh, the great 
Richard Pryor was one of the main ones that 
jumped on the bandwagon and it took him four 
years to start doing it, but when he found it was 
working, he jumped on the bandwagon. Then 
Renaldo Ray, the Risin’ of Renaldo Ray. he did 
one. And Leroy and Skillet from the Laff 
Record Company. the president of Laff 
Records, suggested that they go in that bag, 
and Wild Man Steve come behind me doing the 
same thing. And Blowfly come behind me 
rappin’ the same way. 

You were on Kent Records, or a 
division of Kent. That was the same 
label as Ike and Tina Turner. Did you 
ever get to open for Ike at all? 

Many times. Fifty times. And ['m_ very 
disgusted today because Tina Turner as great as 
she's gotten today. I used to introduce her as 
the MC at the old California club, I would call 
her "The Hardest Working Woman in Show 
Business,” “the cashmere voice of miss Tina 
Turner,Let's bring her on!", and she's gotten to 
be a superstar, and she's never requested me to 
join her, not one time within her life. 


a ) RUDY RAY MOORE ALBUM 


you had many 
you inspired 
Were there any 





She doing a big farwell tour now , 
she could at least get you to open for 
her! 

She has not thought of me and I'm very hurt, 
and a lot of the other comedians- like those 
that have copied me, they have never invited 
me not for one appearance and I am the orginal 
King of Comedy, still standing! 

You are King of the Party record. 
You are Rudy Ray Moore, Dolemite. 
What was it like recording with the 
Phantom Surfers? 

| enjoyed doing it. [ didn't record with them. i 
did the pieces that they use and they put it into 
the record. And they also cared me to Las 
Vegas Grind at the Gold Coast Hotel and I did 
introduce them on stage there to a massive 
3000 audience. 

You introduced Andre Williams as 
well. Do you remember him from 
back in the day? Like you were at the 
Las Vegas Grind there. Do you 
remember Andre Williams? 

Bacon Fat. Yes, I've known Andre for years. 
He had forgotten me, but he had remembered 
my work when I introduced him and went 
backstage. 

I interviewed Andre a 
back Rudy Ray Moore 
that he was too pretty, that Andre 
Williams was too pretty to do what 
you did, he said he was too pretty to 
be Rudy Ray Moore, and he said, I 
quote, "I never wanted to be a Rudy 
Ray Moore because I was too pretty. 
I'd have been dead. Rudy Ray Moore 
‘ooked like the type that tell the 


little while 
and he said 

















The Late Great LADY REED 


truth and not intimidate people. I 


couldn't do that. I think Rudy Ray 
Moore opened the door to the sex 
message. I think that there could 


have been five or six more Rudy Ray 
Moore's this market would have been 
discovered earlier had there’ been 
more Rudy Ray Moore's. Rudy Ray 
Moore is definitely a pioneer.” But I 
was curious, he said he was too 
pretty to do what you did. 

Well, he’s an old man now and he still ho's a 
little bit but he was I guess in the ladies’ 
eyesight a handsome man. [ will give him that 
credit. He wasn't bad looking. He wasn't one of 
them ugly boys. 

Was it hard to work yourself into a 
surf sweat at all, Rudy Ray Moore, to 
work with the Phantom Surfers? 

Uh, no. I enjoyed them because I felt like 
doing the best that [ could throw out there 
because they respected me so highly, and they 
wanted me to be a part of their show, so I gave 
them my best. 


Now when you recorded with 
Melomite, Melomite Mel, of the 
Phantom Surfers at King Cotton 
Studios, you were photographed 
petting a pig! Rudy Ray Moore 
petting a pig! 

Yes, uh huh. I liked the big old’.... that was 
some pig too. Oh lord. 

Rudy Ray Moore, apparently for 


every dirty song Blowfly ,writes, he 
has to memorize a line of Biblical 
verse! What do you think about that? 
I think young man is fabulous with his 
rendition of “Shittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” . 
That was the one I liked. 

Where did you learn it all, Rudy Ray 
Moore, Dolemite? What's the secret? 
Is your rhyming based on folklore, 
like the "Titanic" and the 
"Signifiying Monkey", some of the 
pieces you do. Did you learn all this 
from an old whino? 

Yes. It come from the beer joint and liquor 
store "wineheads," that sit out in front of the 
liquor store all day and shoot the breeze and 
tell lies and when { heard them doing it and 
people would sit there giggling, (makes 
noise) “cluckcluckclu” all day long, I was 
already a comedian, and I said, “I should record 
something like that. 1 wonder if people would 
laugh if] wasin this yard doing it?” So I got 
Rico the Wino and carried him to my apartment 
with my tape recorder and let him recite that 


stuff to me. And I went into the studio and 
recorded it and the rest is history. 

Rudy Ray Moore, "The more you 
wiggle” 


The better it feels. 

Rudy Ray Moore, "Screw your wig on 
tighta” 

And let me tell you about the little bad 
notorious mutherfucker called Dolemite. 


Rudy Ray Moore, Dolemite, You 
have some amazing album covers. 
On the cover of many of those 


records, you were naked quite a bit. 
Was it ever stimulating being there 
with all the ladies on the cover of 
those records? 


Ohhh, well, now you're getting quite personal. 
Oh! Sorry. 

(laughs) You ought to know how easy I'm 
turned on, which was not hard to do now. 
Because I got all those naked girls. We worked 
with it though. We was there for business you 
know. And the business | mean was to make 
the album cover. And anything else come 
about, you know, we put that aside until the 
album shooting is over. 
Rudy Ray Moore, 
always, you were 
involved with the ladies. 
is my name... 

(silence) 
Rudy Ray 
name.... 
And fuckin’ motherfuckers was her game. 
How is Queen Bee doing? 
Queen Bee passed two years ago. 
Oh I'm sorry to hear that. 
Aas 

She's gone. 

She was an amazing character. 

Wasn't she? She was my co-partner and star on 
the road with me. We went many many many 
places and broke a lot of bread together. 
Shedded a lot of blood sweat and tears. 


you always, 
always were 
Queen Bee 


Moore, Queen Bee is my 


She was 


Rudy Ray Moore, “The Human 
Tornado" has the best beginning of 
a movie, ever! And that's not just 
because I'm the Human Serviette 
either! I love the beginning of the 
movie when you roll down that 
embankment. Was that hard to do ? 


Like you were totally naked? 

Very much hard to do. I was scratched up for 
two weeks. See, I didn't do the full stunt 
myself. There was somebody did the beginning 
of it, but in order to make it look right on film, 
I had to roll into camera, so they had to use my 
body. And they put me on that embankment 
and I rolled down some 50 feet. And { was 
scratched up. 


And you were totally naked. I was 
thinking your cock there must have 
been totally ripped up there, Rudy 
Ray Moore! 


(laughs) It was some scene. But I was daring 
and bold. I did everything I could do to make 
what I was doing work. 

How are you these days? You haven't 
made any deals with the devil, have 
you Rudy Ray Moore? 

Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son-In-Law. | 
may do another movie. In fact, I'm winding up 
my movie career. I think I've gotten too old to 
continue. So I am going to do the "Return of 
Petey Wheatstraw". That will wind up my 
movie career. 

Rudy Ray Moore, what is the movie 
you are shooting right now? 

"Dolemite: the Millennium" 

Can you tell us a little bit about the 
movie? Is Snoop Doggy Dogg in the 
movie? 

No, but we have Lazie Bones of Bones Thugs 
'N’ Harmony. He's in it. 

What's the plot line? 

It begins with me coming from Africa, after 25 
years. I move to Africa and I father two sons 
there. And my sister calls me and tells me to 
come home and help her, because the 


10 


community has gotten bad. And "Dolemite 
you know how you used to keep the community 
intact. Come home and help me because they 
are killing and doing everything.” That's the 
beginning plot. 

Is there much Martial 
movie? 

Yes. | am whupping five at one time! 

Rudy Ray Moore, what did you do in 
the 1980s, were you in Texas at that 
time? Like you began as a dancer, 
you did the R and B stuff, you moved 
to Los Angeles, you did Dolemite, 


Arts in the 


Rudy Ray Moore , all the comedy 
stuff. What was happening in the 
80's? 


In the early part of the 80's 1 was a broke 
miserable man...f worked two bit jobs trying 
to live and then along came the 2 Live Crew, 
they sampled one of my records in 1986, and 
then I began to comeback after that. That's 
what I was doing in the 80s, absolutely 
nothing. But [ was able to live because | 
always had a great stage act. | could make 
enough money to survive on, but they were the 
hard years for me, the 80s. 

So the 2 Live Crew were the biggest 
influence on getting Rudy Ray Moore 
back in action? 

They did a record called “Throw the Dick” that 
was sampled from my album, “I Can't Believe I 
Ate the Whole Thing” and the track was 
"Romeo and Juliet", that they sampled three 
and a half minutes of, and the rest is history. It 
got to be a smash hit. And they give me some 
money, more money than I'd had in a 
longtime. 

Rudy Ray Moore, why should people 
care about Dolemite and Rudy Ray 
Moore? Why should people care? 
Well, I have the love of the people right now. 
The little people. And whenever [ go out to 
appear I draw huge crowds of the little people. 
the people, the natural street people, the 
natural fun loving people. So they love me. 
And as long as [ got them, I will always 
survive, because the power belong to the 
people. 

Well thanks very much, Rudy Ray 
Moore, Dolemite. Keep on rocking in 
the free world, and doot doola doot 


doo... 

Thank you. 

Actually I was hoping for ‘doot 
doo," but how about a Dolemite 
finish? Doot doola doot doo... 


Doot doola doot doo, doot doo! (laughs) 


(Nardwuar vs. Dolemite” logo by Rundy Iwata) 





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2Oth CENTURY FOXX 


By Jake Austen. Reviews: Jake Austen (JA) John Battles 3B) Edmund Graye (EG) David Leucinger (DL) James Porter (JP) Harry Young (HY) 


Chicago, 1917: Fred G. Sanford (the G. stands for Glenn), not exactly 
the most honorable fellow, marries Mary Alma in hopes of getting a 
deferment to avoid the WWI draft. The next year Fred G. Sanford, Jr. is 
born, and four years later, on the 9" of December, 1922 Jon Elroy Sanford 
(also known as John, Smiley, 58" Street Red, Chicago Red, and finally, 
Redd Foxx) ts bom. By the time the little red headed child enters the 
world, Fred Sr. has abandoned the family for good and Mary has moved 
back to her mother’s home in St. Lours. Thus began the I-o-n-g hard 
journey that would bring Amenica's hardest working, most prolific, and 
(some say) all-time funniest comedian to heights beyond the dreams such 
humble beginnings usually should allow, and to depths so low that his 
early years would seem like paradise. 

Less than a year after his birth, young Jon Redd and his family moved 
back to Chicago. His mother supported the boys as best she could 
working as a domestic for a White Sox exec for 2 dollars a day. The same 
legendary cheapness that led Shoeless Joe Jackson to accept bribes to 
throw the World Series forced Mrs. Sanford to throw her boys into the 
best sttuation she could -- accepting charity to send them away to 
Catholic School in Milwaukee. It was here that young Redd would see his 
brother get what child psychologists these days call “negative attention” 
for acting up, and from that moment on Jon Elroy Sanford would dedicate 
his life to being the center of attention. After four years their mother sent 
them back to St. Louis to live with their grandmother, while she stayed in 
Chicago to work. That act was never forgiven by the boy who would be 
Foxx, and he became pretty much a badass from then on (meeting a pre- 
teen Lawanda Page likely didn’t help his manners, either). He was 
expelled from one St. Louis school on the first day for throwing a book at 
a teacher. By age thirteen he was back in Chicago, and then the trouble 
really began. 

Awaiting him in the Windy City was DuSable high school and the 58" 
St. Gang. The former was the savior of many a Black youth in Chicago. 
The first all Black high school in the city, DuSable (named after the Black 
explorer who founded Chicago) was an excellent facility that produced 
many of the figures that shaped Black Chicago in the 20" century. The 
58" Street Gang, on the other hand, was a group of common hoodlum 
delinquents. Redd would put a half-assed effort into each, attending only 
two semesters of high school, and eventually abandoning his hoodlum 
crime buddies for hoodlum singing buddies. 

By 1939, 16 year old Jon Sanford was singing in “Tramp Bands.” 
These hobo-attired vocal groups performed on street corners and had an 
arrangement consisting of guitar, washtub string bass and two 
singer dancers (of which young Redd was one). They performed Mills 
Brothers type material, and songs like “Tiger Rag.” After singing with 


The Four Hep Cats, Redd found his stride with The Four Bon Bons (“we — 


picked that name because Bon Bons were little chocolates.”) and was soon 
winning local contests. One of the highlights of their Chicago career 
was performing (with a special dropout’s exemption) in DuSable’s 
legendary talent show revue, Captain Walter Dyett’s High Jinx, a show 
which produced such notables as Nat “King” Cole, Dorothy Donnegan and 
Johnny Hartman. 

Not long after the show the Bon Bons hopped a freight train headed 
towards the promised land of Harlem (via Buffalo and Jersey) and after 
some adventures with railroad detectives, they found themselves jamming 
on Uptown street corners. It was there that they were discovered and 
given a chance to appear on the popular radio show, Major Bowes 
Amateur Hour. Billed as The Jump Swinging Six (with a coupla New 
Yorkers in tow) they performed “Shiek of Araby” and won 2 Prize -- a 


week's engagement at the Apollo Theater. After the Apollo they had gigs . 


in Brooklyn and New Jersey, but money was tight. When Redd ended up 
in jail for several months after a dine and ditch at a Chinese restaurant, 


half the Bon Bons headed home while he was incarcerated. Thus, when he — 


gained his freedom, he was also allowed the unwanted freedom to pursue a 
solo career. 

The next few years were a constant struggle and hustle. He ate soap to 
avoid the draft, he rolled drunks for money and he shot pool. It was 
behind the cue stick where he met Malcolm Little (later to be come the 
revolutionary Malcom X, but at the time a hustler like Redd). Soon they 
were working side by side in the kitchen of Jimmy’s Chicken Shack, 


ee ef 


sleeping on newspapers on a nearby roof (“Newspapers ts some of the 
warmest stuff going”). Not the slickest con, he was nabbed for milk 
stealing and landed back in jail. Luckilly he got out of common crime and 
got fully into an uncommon scam -- show biz! 

Redd (a name he formally began using by this time) had made friends 
with a number of the stars around New York, and that began to pay off in 


1943 when Jo Ann Baker got him his first steady gig emceeing...in 
Baltimore. Performing for the rough longshoreman (and becoming one 
during the day), Redd developed his style of blue humor to get a rise out of 
the audience. Redd’s style came naturally to him, combining perfect 
timing, delivery and a conversational stroytelling vibe that make clean 
material sound dirty and dirty maternal sound filthy. His profile was on 
the rise during the 1940s, and he parlayed the exposure into a brief 
singing gig with the Buddy Johnson band (Arthur Prysock was the 
featured vocalist), a semi-fruitful foray as a recording artist (one session 
singing jump Blues for Savoy - see REDD RECORDS) and even a return to 
the Apollo stage. His comedy career really came into bloom when he 
partnered with a comic/dancer he met in Baltimore, Slappy White. As 
Redd and White they escaped the local scenes and got themselves on the 
bottom of touring bills. By 1947 they were traveling with Duke, Cab 
Calloway, Basie and others. They were pulling in $150 each per week, 
and all they had to do for the money was work 7 days a week, 3 shows a 
night, plus weekend matinees. The network of venues where Black 
performers would play for Black audiences was dubbed The Chitlin Circutt, 
and it was on this circuit that Redd would meet many of the comics he 
would be associated with later in life, including Don “Bubba” Bexley. 
Leroy and Skillet, and even his old St. Louis associate Lawanda Page, who 
long before Aunt Esther days, was actually an exotic dancing beauty! 

In 1948 Redd met and married Evelyn Killebrew, a bourgeoisie gal whose 
father was the George Jefferson of Newark. Off the road at the time, he 
was making only $5 a night telling jokes at a Jersey bar, so naturally her: 
daddy wasn't happy. The marnage lasted only until the early fifties, when 
Queen Dinah Washington arranged for Redd and White to come open for 
her in Los Angeles. Deciding to relocate to the Golden State after the 
brief gig was over, he sent for Evelyn, who wouldn’t come. The Redd and. 
White duo broke up, and Foxx struggled for work, even trying his hand at 
opening a soul food place. But it was in the LA nightclubs where Foxx 
would soon become involved in the two longest partnerships of his life. 












At the Stadium Club Redd opened for the Harris Sisters, and though his 
crude style at first offended the girls, after only a year he convinced Betty 
Jean Hams to marry him, and he adopted her daughter Debreca. His other 
“mamiage” got its start when he was hired as a comedian at the Brass Rail 
for $150 a week. The 32-year-old comic already had a f ully developed ego 
and sense of entitlement. He really believed he was the best in the 
business, and would walk out on any club that disrespected him. Luckily 
he hadn't walked out the night Dootsie Williams came to see him perform. 

Dootste Williams, a charismatic Black wheeler and dealer, would go on 
to describe himself as America’s Foremost Authotrity on Humor. He had 
been running the Dootone label since 1951, mostly concentrating on 
vocal groups and Doo Wop, as well as fiddler John Creach, who would 
become “Papa John” in the Woodstock era. He was ready to invest some 


wax in comedy, feeling it was his zone since he had released Billy 


Mitchell's “Song of the Woodpecker” in 1949 on Blue/Duotone, which he 
called the first comedy record (few would agree with him). Redd soon 


recorded his first live Dooto LP, “Laff of The Party,” for which he would is PKR 


later claim he was paid $25. The raunchy LP was a success, soon 
becoming the biggest party record of all time, and Dootsie signed Redd to 
a long term contract. Redd’s star was on the rise. 

For those unfamiliar with the “Party Record” phenomenon, it involved 
bawdy comedy records by Black comedians that were sold in Black shops 
semt-openly, and in select white shops under the counter. In the pre-TV 
era (and for poor people that lasted well into the “TV age’) listening to 
these records was a social event, where friends would gather, drink and 
enjoy the double entendres. Many rent parties were based around Dooto 
comedy albums. 

After the success of “Laff Of The Party,” Dootsie began releasing record 
after record, including multiple EP packagings of each album, different 
color vinyl, and “Best Ofs” faster than you could say “Record Collector 
Scum.” Redd became a national star and his LA engagements at more 
upscale joints like The Summit Club and the Interlude Club, both on 
Sunset Boulevard, began to eam him upwards of $750 a week. By 1959 he 
was playing for white audiences in New York. At his first such 
engagement, at the Basin St. East , he tried to do a sanitized version of 
his act to be safe and the crowd demanded he do the dirty stuff. In 1960 he 
began his Vegas career by playing the Alladin after hours. Redd came to 
define the Vegas After Hours club, a place where headliners like Sinatra, 
Sammy Davis and their ilk, as well as anybody who refused to sleep, 
would go at 2am after the big shows let out. All the while Dooto was 
releasing new LPs and EPs every couple of months. As his rep rose he 
started to smell a vinyl rat. 

In 1961 Foxx brought suit against Dooto in an effort to cancel his 
contract, accusing Williams of fraudulent practices, and royalty 
underpayment. While this suit lingered on Dooto didn't slow down 
releasing Foxx records despite not having access to the act. The release 
of out of date, repackaged and poor quality material during that time would 
come to set the tone for the rest of Foxx’ recording career. In September 
of °63, after 2 years, 5 months and 10 days in court, Foxx got screwed! 
Whatever the truth was, the judge was so partial to Williams that it makes 
one suspect that perhaps there’s something wrong with the LA Judiciary 
system. Dooto not only got the courts to agree they hadn't underpaid 
Foxx, they also got a ruling that they'd overpaid, him, and that Redd owed 
the label $11,000! In addition, not only did Redd have to honor his 
lengthy contract, but it was extended by the courts to reflect the time 
Foxx was uncooperative. 

But 1963 wasn’t a bad year for Redd. On the contrary, he wanted to 
break ties with Dooto because opportunities were rich for him. Hugh 
Downs had seen Redd at the Sugar Hill club in New York, and though he 
had to tone down his blue streak, Hugh was able to get the 41 year old 
comic on the “Today” show. “Negro” comedians were starting to break 
through on TV, with Dick Gregory making strides and Bill Cosby about to 
make leaps, so with a little sanitizing it made sense that Redd would make 
it on the small screen 

Champtoned by Downs, Johnny Carson and Della Reese, Foxx appeared 
all over the tube, and in the late 60s and early 70s he appeared on “The 
Tonight Show,” “Mike Douglas,” “Merv Griffin,” “The Addams Family,” 
“Mr. Ed,” “Green Acres,” “Here’s Lucy,” “Flip Wilson” (whose career was 
boosted by Redd pumping him up on Carson) “Dinah Shore,” “ The Name 
Of The Game,” and the special “A Time For Laughter,” amongst many 
others. His clean act helped raise the price for his dirty act, as he was 
soon earning $4,000 per show at the Aladdin in Vegas. And when °67 
came and his Dooto contract was over, his recording output exploded. 

Foxx got out of his contract cleanly and even a little early after Sinatra 
decided to sign Foxx to Loma, the Black imprint of his Repnise label, 
itself an imprint of the mighty Wamer Brothers label. Within 48 hours of 

14 





seeing an impressive Vegas set, the Chairman settled with Dootsie and 
had a contract with Redd. It was, amazingly, a non-exclusive contract, 
and Redd was also allowed to release records on King (home of James 
Brotwn) and a bushel of LPs on his own MF records (MF stood for [Bert] 
Marks, his partner in the venture, and Foxx). Many of the albums were 
recorded at Redd’s LA club, which he had opened to have a profitable home 
base (cutting down on Vegas trips) and to showcase old chitlin circuit and 
young Black comedians. (see FOX-E-PHEMRA) Redd was living the life, 
chilling in a $62,500 home in Baldwin Hills, seeing his Loma LP sell 
15,000 in the first few weeks (great for a comedy record), and swimming 
in the indulgences he felt his hard work had earned him, including 
mountains of cocaine and plenty of women. It seemed like he was on top 
of the world, but little did he dream that this was a mere drop in the success 
bucket. 

1970 had some lows and highs. On the negative side, his club, which he 
had put in the hands of crooked and incompetent friends and relatives, 
burnt down after falling into deep financial holes. This bad business 
sense he demonstrated in the venture would haunt Redd for the rest of his 
life. On the up side, Redd appeared in the film, “Cotton Comes To 
Harlem,” Ossie Davis’ adaptation of Chester Himes novel. His character 
Uncle Bud, a crafty old urban junkman, caught the eye of Norman Lear and 
Bud Yorkin. They were riding high with the TV success of “All In The 
Family” on CBS. That edgy comedy was an adaptation of a Brit-Com, and 
they were looking to import another English senes about a junkman and 
his dysfunctional relationship with his son. They had considered several 
ethnicities, but Redd’s Uncle Bud performance convinced them to go 
Black, and they never went back. 

A mid-season replacement senes, “Sanford and Son” cast Redd as the 
father and Demond Wilson as the son. The humble set and small cast made 
for a modest production that could really showcase Redd's appeal. On 
January 14th, 1972 it debuted, and for the rest of its run it never left the 
top ten. All of a sudden Redd Foxx was a SUPERSTAR’ 

The show was not without cntics. Variety compared it to “Amos and 
Andy”, and in a prominent New York Times piece, “Sanford and Son Is 
White To The Core” Black scholar Eugenia Collier lambasted the show, 
making some interesting points (for example, the Black tradition of 
humor usually involves a common man protaganist, and if any Black 
junkyard owners actually exist, they would be incredibly exceptional). 


Interestingly, cultural critic Donald Bogle has made an argument that 
completely turns Collier’s thesis around, championing the program as a 
rare, true Black show. 

Bogle may be on the mark here. Though the show’s writers were most! y 
white (the production credits read like those gold tree leaves with donors 
names you see at a synagogue) Foxx exerted a huge amount of influence. 
Though he didn’t have a TV track record, he was making a mil a year at the 
Hilton in Vegas, so he didn’t need the job, and was in a position to make 
demands. Even before the show's successful debut he had the juice to 
name the characters Fred G. Sanford after his brother (not his absentee 
father of the same name) who had died in 1963, and Lamont after Lamont 
Ousley, one of the Four Bon Bons. As far as writing goes, in addition to 
ad libbing his own lines, Redd also contributed to scripts, answering 
stupid questions about his writing credentials with the snappy answer, 





“I've been black longer than anybody here.” Foxx also insisted that no 
degrading “jive talk” be wnitten into the scripts, which actually closed the 
door to a number of young black writers whose sample scripts were 
drenched with Black English. When the show hit, Foxx fully asserted his 
own aesthetic by stocking the cast with Chitlin’ Circuit buddies, 
including Lawanda Page, Skillet and Leroy, “Bubba” Bexley, Slappy 
White and others. Of the older characters that hung with Fred, only 
Whitman Mayo (Grady) came up as a regular, trained actor. 

With great success came great demands....for money! As the show 
became a smash, Redd’s 10 grand an episode became an insult. He 
demanded Carol! O° Conner's salary plus a dollar, and a percentage of the 
show. In 1975 he bitterly walked out for 1/2 a season until the president 
of NBC gave in to his demands. With a massive cocaine habit, ill-advised 
generosity, the lure of the Vegas tables and ternble business sense, he 
actually needed the money. Though he made almost five million dollars 
in 1975, he also had made the awful mistake of trying to emulate John 
Johnson's Black-owned Johnson empire of hair care products and 
publishing. Buying a huge LA building and starting a cosmetics company 
without knowing much about the buisness was a money pit (see FOXX-E- 
PHEMERA). He certainly could afford his mansion two doors down from 
Bob Hope; but the cash, jewelry, cars and extravagant gifts he gave even 
casual acquaintances were beyond even his massive means. To make 
matters worse, in 1976 Jean divorced him, getting (amongst much else) 
his hard fought percentage of “Sanford and Son” in the settlement. 

If it was just alimony and business failure haunting Redd maybe he could 
have kept afloat. But respect was a huge issue as well, and all the bitter 
negotiations with NBC over the years left him vulnerable to ABC’s offer 
of a mountain of cash to jump ship. With “Sanford”sull a hit, Redd left at 
the end of his contract to do a short lived, overly ambitious vanety show 
on ABC, which was a triumph to the network despite only lasting 9 
episodes, because it killed the Sanford and Son juggemaut that had been 
the competition. 

Over the next 15 years he would retum to televison occasionally with 
little success (See FOXX-TV). His personal life in the 80s was more 
downs than ups. On the plus side, he settled in Vegas and mamied his third 
wife Yunchi Chung (a/k/a Joi). It’s interesting that after doing some 
surprisingly ugly anti-Asian routines on wax, he spent the last years of 
his life with Asian women and even had an Asian motif wing of his 
mansion. On the negative side, his family relationships were poor. 
Many of the relatives he trusted had screwed him in business, he never had 
forgiven his mother for repeatedly sending him away as a young child, 
and his father, whom he never met, accidently shot himslef to death, 
removing any chance of a reconciliation. Artistically he was also 
troubled. He released fewer records (though Dooto and King continued to 
issue knockoff albums of old material), his attempt to play Broadway was 
a bust (See FOXX-E-PHEMERA), and even his popular Vegas concerts 
were shaky and unpredictable. Billy Crystal once joked on the “Tonight 
Show” about going to see a Redd Foxx set where the M.C. dramatically 
announced him, Redd stumbled out, grumbled and then left almost 
immediately, as the announcer dramatically announced his exit. Foxx was 
clearly losing focus, and that stemmed form massive financial woes. 

By 1983 Redd made millions a year in appearances, but alimony and 
debt made him declare bankruptcy. By ‘86 he was making 4 million a year 
in Vezas, but was having problems with the IRS. When his marnage to 
Joi dissolved, and his coke, gambling and womanizing habits didn't, he 
soon found himself in a worse position than he could have dreamed of. On 
November 28, 1989 the IRS swooped in and like stormtroopers and seized 
all his possessions as Redd stood in the street in his underwear shaking 
his head. This ugly spectacle was captured and broadcast by TV news 
cameras. To partially satisfy his elaphantine debt to the agency the IRS 
auctioned off nearly all of his possessions, including his model T, his uzi, 


his Redd Foxx records, his ukele, the watch Elvis gave him, his personal 
photographs, his Asian room furniture, and everything else. Though he 
had been paid half a million dollars earlier that year to appear in Eddie 
Murphy's “Harlem Nights” (See FOXX FILMS/VIDEOS), he had spent it 
all on partying and didn’t have a penny for Uncle Sam. This humiliation 
broke Redd’s spint and he became a bitter, angry shell of what he once 
was, blaming racism, the government and everyone but himself for his 
predicament. 

Eddie Murphy bailed Foxx out, somewhat, by developing a TV show for 
him and Della Reese, who had good chemistry with Foxx in “Harlem 
Nights.” “The Royal Family” debuted in September 1991, and was a 
modest success its first few weeks on the air. On the set on October 11'" 
Redd was filming an interview with (ironically) “Lifestyles of the Rich 
and Famous” when a “Royal Family” staff member insisted, with Robin 
Leach’s camera’s still rolling, that Redd cut the interview short to come 


block some lighting. This was clearly something anyone, or even a 
sandbag, could do, but the producers must have been wamed to try to keep 
an upper hand with Redd and keep his spint broken as to avoid NBC's 
“Sanford” problems. It backfired. Raw footage shows Redd visibly upset 
at this indignity, muttering, hateful and embarrassed to have this happen 
in front of the interviewer. He starts breathing heavily and becomes 
agitated. Moments later he would drop dead from the heart attack initiated 
by the incident. People thought at first it was a pratfall. It wasn't 

Redd never regained consciousness and was declared dead at the hospital 
at age 68. His new wife of three months, Ka Ho Cho, didn’t have a penny 
to bury him, and Eddie Murphy had to foot the bill. Redd Foxx went out 
the way he should have lived, with thousands of people there to show 
their love, no extravagances spared and the star treatment all around. His 
talents should have afforded him this his whole life, but his actions and 
appetites betrayed htm. He sold over 20 million records, was one of the 
biggest TV stars of the 70s and helped define the traditions of comedy, 
Vegas and Superstar excess in the 20" century. These days he’s mostly 
remembered as Fred Sanford (several fine websites honor the TV show and 
Chris Rock turned down an idiotic proposal to make a “Sanford and Son” 
movie). But he was so much more. Luckily for history, as one of the 
most prolific recording and television artists in his field, his huge body 
of work.can be rediscovered for generations to come. 





FOXKOGRAPHY 


DISCLAIMER UPON DISCLAIMER: Before I get into 
the negatives vibes, here are the two biggest reasons | 
consider the Foxxography a success: 1. Just seeing the 
mindboggling amount of tides by Redd is a testament to 
his greatness, and 2. There are beaucoup jokes 
transcribed in the following pages...if this only serves 
as a Redd Foxx jokebook this was a worthy, worthy 
endeavor. Now for the fine print: This task of 
compiling a list of Redd’s recorded works was an 
incredibly daunting one, and not merely because of the 
massive body of work in his catalogue. The real 
problem comes in the fact that the cheapo labels Redd 
recorded for threw his recordings out there on wax 
without rhyme or reason or concern about what stuck 
and what slid. Many records with different titles 
contain the same material. Thinking that these would 
be easily detectable we originally asked the writers to 
transcribe the first joke on each LP, thinking we could 
match albums up that way (note to other editors reading 
this: If you're looking for writers good with deadlines, 
go for the ones who mention the first joke). 
Unfortunately, it turned out many records are pastiches, 
putting together several parts of previously released 
records, or just shuffling the matenal around. Taking 
things to the next level, it appears that some companies 
who got their hands on the recordings of concerts older 
albums were culled from, got raw recordings of the sets 
which they reedited with some unreleased material. 
Complicating matters further, Redd would tell the same 
jokes on different albums, sometimes in blocks of 
identical material, often with eerie sameness, 
sometimes decades apart. And just to throw a digital 
monkey wrench in, unlike most CD issues which are 
archivist’s dreams, Redd’s CDs are mostly 
manufactured cheaply, without liner notes, and sold at 
truck stops to cross country travelers. They often pad 
an album that was onginally 26 minutes with 40 minutes 
from other records, yet keep the original title. Also, 
very few records actually list the year of release, so a 
number of the dates here are conjecture. A great deal 
are culled from accurate sources, the bulk of the 
remaining ones are from very informed guessing, and a 
few are just crapshoots. Also, as will be obvious, some 
writers spent a lot more time than others. But all in all, 
this should be a pretty amazing read for anyone with an 
ionterest in one of the most colorful figures in 
American popular culture. Ladies and 
gentleman...Redd Foxx... 

REDD RECORDS 
“Let’s Wiggle A Lite Woogie” biw “Lucky Guy” 
(Savoy/Sav 630, 1946) Redd started his career in vocal 
combos, and his earliest recordings weren’t in the field 
of comedy, but rather Jump Blues sides as ‘Redd Foxx 
with Kenny Watts and His Jumpin’ Buddies.’ Of 
course, fans of the Treniers and Louis Jordan know 
Jump can be as close to straight up comedy as any 
records from the 40s, but Redd’s sides are surprisingly 
pretty tame. The B side is about Redd’s woman having 
such bad feet and teeth she can’t go out or talk, whicli 
makes him lucky. For having so absurd a theme it 
actually sounds remarkably straightforward. The A 
side is his most famed of these obscure cuts. It’s a solid 
rumpshaker that opens with the group singing en masse 
and then throwing it to Redd who really knows what to 
do fronting a Jump combo. Often when you'd hear 
“Fred” sing on “Sanford and Son” you could tell he 
loved Jazz and Blues, but nothing indicated his actually 
having a solid voice for it. That's disproved here, as he 
dexterously goes through these nursery rhyme lyrics 
and more than holds his own. (JA) 
“Fine Jelly Blues” biw “Redd Foxx Blues” (Savoy/Sav 
631, 1946) I’ve read that Watts and his Buddies were 
considered fairly pedestrian musicians, but on the Jump 
cuts I'm pretty satisfied with their performance. These 
selections and fairly straight Blues, however, and sound 
more phoned in, but it’s still nice to hear Redd sing 
about getting him some jelly. Unfortunately he doesn’t 
really sing about himself on the B-side. (JA) 
"Shame On You” (Savoy/Sav 645, 1946) This is a pretty 
great cut with Redd complaining about the woman he 
brought up from down South disappointing him. You 
will groove to this and might even make you wish the 
Swing Dance craze hadn't died out. Most notable 
about Redd’s Savoy sides is his voice. While some of 
his early comedy records feature a nasal, sly voice, 


these feature a deep, husky, hardly recognizable 
delivery. (JA) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 1 (Dooto/DTL-214, [also 
released as Duotone 214] 1955) This breakthrough 
comedy album on the Dootone label (called Dooto for 
comedy, Doo Wop was their other forte) established 
Foxx as the king of party records. Most of the jokes 
were also released on his 45s, including the classics 
“The New Soap,” “Sneezes” and “The Race Track.” 
There's a few extra treats, as well. One would assume 
that Foxx’ early stuff, without overt profanity and with 
decades less of the hard living that would temper his 
70s and 80s LPs, would be dirty, but not filthy. 
However, I find this following joke pretty graphic and 
nasty: “There's a new bikini bathing suit coming out 
this summer, my uncle invented it...it’s two band aids 
and a cork!...OK, two corks.” And to make this a real 
value, Redd does the cover art himself (“Cover By 
Foxx” in big letters in case you missed it) and though he 
wasn't gonna make Charles Schulz nervous with his 
cartoon skills, his self portrait is pretty great. But why 
the checkered socks? Issued on both black and red 
vinyl. (JA) 

“The New Soap” biw “Song Plugging” (Dooto/385, 
1956) The A-side: The new soap is called Fugg. “If 
you're husband comes home from the coal mine 
covered in dirt, tell him to go Fugg himself.” This goes 
on for 3 or 4 minutes. They also make a detergent 
called Sugg. So “If you can’t Fugg it..you got the 
idea.” The B Side: He wants to do a couple of pieces 
he had the pleasure of plugging in New York. Pieces 
like “Laura,” “Marie” and “Margie”...he was a song 
plugger back East. He plugged “The Old Gray Mare, 
(but) She Aint What She Used To Be.” When they 
asked him to plug “Jim” he quit. (JA) 

"The Jackasses" (Dootone 390, 1956) b/w "The Race 
Track" (Authentic 390, 1956) That's night, two different 
labels on two different sides---while this certainly 
doesn't have the allure of 3-D album covers or colored 
vinyl, it remains an unusual phenomenon. Both sides 
reveal what a master of double-entendre Redd was. On 
the top side, he slips in a bit of (inaccurate) 
autobiography: “I'm from the country, and during the 
war they made a lot of money at home, and they didn't 
throw it away on foolish things like food, rent & 
clothing, they bought something worthwhile...everybody 
in my hometown bought a jackass! Everybody, I mean 
EVERY BODY bought a jackass...” (here Redd starts 
sounding seriously Def Comedy Jam...in 1956!) 
“... preacher's wife had the biggest ass in town! I know 
because I rode her big ass all the time! Biggest ass I've 
ever been on! Sometimes her ass would sweat and I’d 
slip nght off her big sweaty ass. Hler husband didn’t 
have such a bad ass himself. I rode his tittle narrow ass 
once. You can’t nde no bony ass.” Side B was his 
Redd’s Big Hit, if you could compare an X-rated 
comedy routine to a Top 10 song. Just like Steve Martin 
had "Excuse Me,” Richard Pryor had "Mudbone,” and 
George Carlin was known for the "Seven Dirty Words 
You Cant Say On Television,” "The Race Track" was 
Redd's albatross for years (pre-Sanford & Son). He's 
announcing a racetrack derby featuring three horses: 
Cold Towel, Pussy Willow, and a dark-horse favorite 
called My Dick. Of course, these thoroughbreds are 
being rode by “the greatest jockeys in the world," 
except that at one point jockey (George) Strapp 
somehow cancels and can't ride My Dick, so he's 
replaced by A. Crabb. Arthur Crabb, that is...it gets 
better from there, but you get the point, right? JP) 

Laff Of The Party EP Vol. | (Dootone/215, 1956) 
Same as the above single, but with a different number 
and a fancy sleeve that looks like the LP cover. (JA) 
“The Honeymooners” biw “The Sneezes” 
(Dootone/397, 1956) A side: His wife and him buy the 
wrong tickets on the train on their honeymoon, so 
they're in upper booths across each other. He tells her 
late at night to come over, “’But Redd how am I gonna 
get over there,’ [ said ‘Don’t worry I got something you 
can walk on.” A man in the lower berth said, ‘Yeah, 
but how is she gonna get back.” B side: He lists the 
different sneezes: The chocolate sneeze: Hersheee! 
The confession sneeze: Who-is-she! The barnyard 
sneeze: Horshiii--- (EG) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 2 (Dooto/DTL-219/Authentic 
AULP/219, 1956) Redd didn’t start any new Christmas 
traditions with his tale of the “Brow: Nosed Reindeer,” 
but I wish he had. Not the powerhouse follow up one 
would expect from the breakthrough first LP, but there 
will be more than the single Laff promised at your party 
if you play this one. It should be noted that already by 
this album the stage is set for what to expect on 90% of 


16 


Redd LPs to follow: Rather than a single comedy 
concert (as is somewhat the norm in stand up albums) 
this is a montage of shows with some slick and some not 
so slick edits. Also, there is often weird echo added for 
effect...exactly what effect I have no idea... but 
definitely for effect. And finally, there is often, and not 
always, some lady with a cackle so out there you 
suspect she’s a plant. Then again, maybe she’s just 
Redd’s #1 Fant You can get the Authentic issue on 
yellow or black vinyl and the Dooto one on red or 
black.(WT) 

“Beans and Pineapple Sauce” biw “The Army” 
(Dootone/402, 1956) Where was this recorded, Echo 
Valley? Or was he playing to 200 people at a thousand. 
seat auditorium? Two tales excerpted from Laff Of The 
Party, Vol. 2 and Redd’'s voice is sounding mighty 
echoey. “Beans” is a random collection of one-liners, 
with the title coming from the segment where he sees 
some guy ordering beans and pineapple sauce in a 
restaurant. When Redd asks the stranger why, the man 
coolly replies that his wife likes Hawaiian music. The 
flip side deals with his 1942 army induction, so this 
gives him pleaty of room to joke about various 
inductees and their penile shortcomings. The crowd is 
less polite and stiff than usual for the Dootone records, 
letting every last guffaw hang out. (JP) 

Laff of the Party Vol 2 EP (Dootone/217, 1956) Same 
as Dootone 402, but somehow has a lower catalog 
number than the LP. (JA) 

Laff of the Party Vol. 3 EP (Authentic/Auet 218, 1957 
{1 assume, the same catalog # on Dooto as well}) 
Here's the jokes: “What you are about to hear...is a lie. 
My name is Redd Friday. My name is Redd Friday, 
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. 
(sissy voice) On Thursday, I'm Phyllis! I'ma dick. I 
hang out at the Police Station...[ have a ball. I got shot 
in a bank robbery. I was sitting in my office, looking 
out my window at the San Francisco Bay Bndge. That's 
quite a job, my office is in San Bernadino. The teletype 
ticked away a news message, two bodies had been 
found in a closet. I went right over, the Sargent was 
there. I said, ‘Sargent, what is it? Two women, two 
men, or a man and a woman?’ ‘Shoot, I don’t know, 
Redd, both their heads are missing!’ Best joke: "I went 
down to the fish market, [ said, ‘Good moming, Mister, 
how much do you get for your crabs?’ He said, ‘A 
dollar each,” I said, ‘Well, shake hands with a 
millionaire!’ (JB) 

“The Two Oars” b/w “The Preacher’s Bicycle” 
(Dootone/408, 1956) Redd Foxx is not mentioned by 
name on the label. Highlights: "Me and a LOVELY 
girl, we were both under the car, trying to see what was 
wrong, and a guy came by and looked under the car, he 
said, ‘Hey, buddy! How far is the Old Red Log Inn?’ I 
said, ‘Go ahead and mind your own business!’” “f've 
never been on television, cause television's only 8 
years old. Now, who wants to be on something 8 years 
old?” “There was a case going on with this beautiful, 
beautiful, BEAUTIFUL girl. This fella had promised 
her that he was going to take her to Florida. The fella’s 
only defense was, he told the Judge, he said, ‘Judge, I 
didn’t say I was gonna take her to Florida, I said [ was 
goin’ to TAMPA with her!** (JB) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 3 (Dooto/DTL- 
220/Authentic/AULP 220 1956) Though it was 
originally issued with the standard cartoon “Cover BY 
Foxx,” look for the later issue with Redd looking pretty 
confident on the cover of this one, giving the high sign 
in an impressive red plaid jacket (“it was a “surprise 
from my wife... got home and it was sitting on the 
chair’). He's billed on this as “the undisputed King of 
recorded comedians,” but it’s not the most stellar 
example of the genre, as there are some awkward, mid 
laugh edits between jokes. Lots of goodies on here, 
though: “Confucius say ‘Crowded elevator smell 
different to midget."” “A woman says to her man, 
‘You're getting kind of big, you better diet,’ He said, 
“Well what color is it now?’” “I just found out that 
fireman have bigger balls than policemen. You know 
why? They sell more tickets.” Available in both black 
and red vinyl.(JA) 

“The Dead Jackass” b/w “Women Over Forty” 
(Dooto/Authentic 411, 1957) (Incidentally, this is my 
favorite Redd Foxx joke) “One day, in the army, these 
two soldiers were arguing over a dead body, a dead 
animal was layin’ there, and one of 'em said it was a 
mule, and the other one said it was a donkey. So, they 
had a big argument about what it was, and the 
Lieutenant came along, they asked the Lieutenant what 
it was, he said, "IT’S A ASS, BURY IT!’ And, while 
they were diggin’ a grave for the animal, a guy came 





From top. 3 year 
old Jon/Redd w/ 7 
yt old bro 
Fred G. Santord 
Je, Redd 3 lz 
Reda and Slappy 
White 











along and asked the two soldiers, ‘What you all diggin’? 
A foxhole?’ and one of the soldiers looked up and said, 
‘No...”. Another gem: “A guy walked into a bar, sat 
down, he was thirsty, soon as he sat down, he looked 
down there at the other end of the bar, was a beautiful 
chick sittin’ down there, she was all lookin’ good, he 
looked down at her...his eyes almost leaned out on his 
cheeks. Bartender said, ‘Now, listen buddy, let's get 
this straight. That's my girl, so I dont want you to get no 
ideas.” This guy said, ‘Who, me? I... dont have no 
ideas...f only came in for a drink! Gimme a piece of 
beer!’ One more: "Take King Farouk, he’s been 
ousted as the head of Egypt, and to show us that he's not 
mad, he's donated a million bucks to have a university 


A built in Egypt, on the condition that they named it after 


him, "Farouk U.* (JB) 

Laff of the Party Vol 4 EP (Dooto/222, 1957) Same as 
the above single, but with a nice picture sleeve. (JA) 
"It's Fun To Be Living In The Crazy House” biw "Real 
Pretty Mama” (Dooto 416, 1957) Once again, Redd 
Foxx Sings! This is from the period when record 


| companies still identified, night there on the label, what 
|category the song fell under. “Crazy House” ts a 
‘novelty jump,” while the backside is branded a “jump 


blues.” Both are great uptempo R&B numbers that 
would sound good on a mixed tape between Wynonie 
Harris, H-Bomb Ferguson and Roy Brown. That's a hell 
of a comparison, but for a man known more for telling 
jokes than singing, he holds his own. Anyone who ever 
saw the Sanford & Son episodes that featured him 
dueting with B.B. King, Timmie "Oh Yeah” Rogers, and 
former Dooto labelmate Scatman Crothers knows that. 
Redd, for his part, is kicking back on this single...riding 
the rhythm, shouting the blues, and having the time of 
his life. Just like Rudy Ray Moore (no, not you, Cosby, 
sit back down), he could have been a fine blues shouter 
if he chose to follow that path. And who is that rocking 
piano player?!? (JP) 

“Best of Redd Foxx Pt. 1” b/w “Best of Redd Foxx Pt. 
2” (Dooto/418, 1957) Highlights: "A woman says to her 
husband, ‘I'm down in the dumps, I think I'll buy a new 
hat. That's what I do when [I'm down in the dumps.’ 
Husband says, "I was wonderin’ where you get them 
things!’” “This Indian from my hometown could 
remember anything at all that ever happened. One guy 
came to town once, he didn’t believe the Indian was 


eget; true. He walked up to the Indian and said, ‘What did 


you have for breakfast in 1906?’ The Indian said, "Me 
have ham and eggs.’ This fella says, Aw, this is a 
fake, he don't know nothin’. Anybody would have ham 


K.., and eggs early in the morning like that.’ So, he went 

me away, stayed about 12, 14 years, he came back, and 
an this Indian was still standing at the train station, selling 
a gum and pencils, and he walked over to the Indian, he 
m just wanted to speak to him, cause he hadn’t seen him in 


12, 14 years. He walked up to the Indian and said, 
‘How’...The Indian said, "Scrambied.’" (JB) 

“The House” biw “Sex and Orange Juice” (Dooto/421, 
1957)Some of Redd’s “juiciest” bits, with lot’s of shorn 
jokes “squeezed” onto this one. With plenty of 
Vitaman C...and the C stands for “C if you can get thru 
this without blushing.” (EG) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 4 (Dooto/DTL- 
227/Authentic/AULP 227, 1957) The least laffs of all 


. his famed Laff of the Party LPs, but barnyard humor 


enthusiasts wil! dig the tale of the crosseyed rooster. 
Also revises the famed dead jackass routine. (WT) 


Best Of Redd Foxx [also titled Best of 


Foxx) Dooto/DTL-234, 1958) I wouldn’t call this the 
best of Redd Foxx. It features pretty dry jokes told to a 
fairly sober audience. A highlight is the studio musical 
number “Fun In The Crazy House,” a mellow jump 
Blues number. However, I will concede, this album 
contains one of the few Foxx jokes to baffle me: “My 
new sponsor is Shampoo. It's called Shampoo because 
itis. Shampoo takes the sham out and leaves the poo 
in.” What the hell is he talking about? (EG) 

Best Of Foxx EP vol. 1 Pt. 1 (Dooto/232, 1958) 

Best Of Foxx EP vol. I Pt. 2 (Dooto/233, 1958) 
Excerpts from the Best of Foxx LP in nice sleeves. (JA) 
Laff Of The Party Vol. 7 (Dooto/DTL-236, 1958) No 
further recommendation for this LP is needed than to let 
you know it contains the immortal track, “The 
Exploding Roach.” (Disclaimer: It's unfortunately 
about the kind of roach you smoke, not the kind you 
A on, but the title is still my all time Foxx favorite.) 
(EG) 

ie Of The Party Vol. 7EP Pt. 1(Dooto/DTL-231, 
1958) 


Laff Of The Party Vol. 7EP Pt. 2(Dooto/DTL-235, 
1958)Excerpts from the LP (Pt. has the roach gag). 
Note screwy catalog numbers, I guess they were just 


17 


releasing stuff fast and furious and order didn’t really 
matter. (JA) 

“Hollywood Playboy” biw “The Dog's Meeting” 
(Dooto/426, 1958) Redd telis of a new book about “a 
Hollywood playboy, hates dames, and in the beginning 
he finds out she’s one of them in the middle he really 
finds out she’s one of them. Finally he makes her in the 
end.” 

Just For Fun Vol. 4 (Fox/FR 104, 1958?) NOTE: Redd 
Foxx is not credited by name, nor does his photo appear 
anywhere on this LP, and the label name "Fox" is 
spelled with only one "X*. Suill, there's NO mistaking it's 
Redd Foxx. First Joke: "Seems as though a soldier and a 
sailor died at the same time, and St. Peter met the both 
of them at the pearly gates. He looked at the soldier 
and the sailor, he said, ‘Fellas, | want you to know, this 
very first day, that if either of you has an unclean or 
indecent thought, your wings will fall right off.” Just 
about then, a beautiful angel switched by, and the 
soldier's wings fell off...He bent down to pick up his 
wings, and the SAILOR’S wings fell off!" Best Joke 
(incidentally, the LAST, too): “This old man was sitting 
on the bus, looking out the window, reading a racing 
form, and a young girl got on...it was so crowded, she 
didn’t have nowhere to sit, and he said, ‘I'd like to let 
you have my seat, but I'm an old man...but I'l tell you 
what you can do, you cag sit nght down here on my lap. 
I'm an old man, it don't make no diffe-rence, if you know 
what I mean.’ She says, "Okay So, she sits down in the 
old man’s lap, and they started hitting a few bumps 
downhill, and they bumped about a block and a half, 
and the old man said, ‘Look here, daughter, [ think you 
better get up, cause I ain't as old as [ thought | was!’* 
(JB) 

Just For Fun (Fox/FR 107, 1958?) The Fox label 
obviously is involved in somekinda hinky bizness 
dealings: either this is a bootleg company, or Dootsie is 
selling someone the Foxx tapes on the down low. | 
guess we could assume there's a volume 2 and 3, but 
the fact that this has a later issue number than volume + 
made me decide to just list the ones I know exist. (JA) 
Burlesque Humor EP Vol. 1 (Dooto/237, 1958) Same as 
the above, but with a nice sleeve. (JA) 

Burlesque Humor (Dooto/DTL 249, 1958) The liner 
notes claim this was “recorded for the most part at Strip 
City in Hollywood” (interesting already that they admit 
these are pastiches and not single concerts) but he’s 
clearly in Chicago for at least some of this, as he makes 
Wrigley Field and Hlinois references. This record also 
boasts remarkably unacceptable recording quality, as 
the first joke actually has the microphone way too low 
and they turn it up mid joke, and to top that off some 
woman keeps talking throughout the show. Young Foxx 
is working an extra nasal voice on this one and opens 
with a long musical take on “South Of The Border” 
about cutting a Mexican who cuckolded him. After that 
long bit the gems are mostly one liners. Two of my 
faves: A friends advice about a girlfriend who always 
smokes a cigarette when he wants to kiss her: “Just kiss 
her between the draws.” “I just wrote a new song, it’s 
called “Cuddle up a little closer .it's shorter than you 
think.” “Confucius also say...Man who make love on 
ground have Piece On Earth.” (JA) 

“South Of The Border” biw “The Plastic Surgeon” 
(Dooto/436, 1958) This one’s a little ruff. A Mexican 
boarder goes south of Redd's wife’s border and Redd's 
out to slice and dice him. Not the funniest. but it’s 
always nice to hear Redd sing. (WT) 

“The Dear John Letter” b/w “Honesty Is The Best 
Policy” (Dooto/453, 1959) The Title Tracks:- “Lotta 
guys received ‘Dear John’ letters dunng the war, but a 
fella was in my outfit...He received the dadblamedest 
‘Dear John’ letter I ever heard in my life...It read 
something like this, ‘Dear John, I couldn't wait another 
day for you, darling...So I mamed your Father! Love, 
Mother." “I was in New York, it was cold, I was on the 
subway, and I found a wallet with $538.00 in it..but, | 
got that HONEST feeling. Now, I know somewhere, 
somebody needed that $ 538.00, and I believe honesty 
is the best policy, so 1 put an ad in the paper...in the 
Memphis Joumal!" (JB) 

“The Shoeshine Boy” biw “The Royal Thighs and 
Others” (Dooto/455, 1959) These are some of the most 
classic jokes, but because he takes s-0-0-0 I|-o-o-n-g to 
get to the punchlines, and because of the amount of 
Space it would take and because of the impact you 
would lose by not hearing Foxx’s inflections, it seems 
futile to try to transcribe them. So haw about just the 
punchlines: “Nobody Can eat that much ice cream!” 
“What are you doing here, Mr. Castro?” (EG) 

The Sidesplitter (Dooto/DTL-253, 1959)On the cover 
Redd looks like he’s really seriously preaching to bis 


crowd, invoking future Dooto labelmate Martin Luther 
King more than label mate Rudy Ray Moore. While 
I'm sure he went to a basement party here and there, 
I'll go out on a limb and say that King was less 
influenced by Foxx than Moore. Oral sex, gambling 
and women of questionable morals are the key subjects 
this time around. (WT) 

The Sidesplitter (Fox/FR 109) A knockoff bootleg (I 
think) of the same album. See Racy Tales (WT) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 8 (Dooto/DTL-265, 1959) 
Opener: “I'm afraid now it's more BALONEY. Their 
first Sputnik Russia put up, they sent a dog up in it, or 
was that the second one? [ know they sent a dog up to 
the moon, or tried to reach him out in outer space, but 
the Americans are different, they put a colored fella up 
there, the only one with enough guts to really wanna 
go! Everybody's trying to keep it a secret, because 
America don't want the Russians to know that the jig is 
up!” Best Joke: It's a toss-up between these two: 1) 
“You know, you've seen the army helmets, the combat 
helmet, you have to be very careful, y'see, | work with 
one in the club every night, and I check it to see that it's 
cool, cause there's 1001 uses for a army helmet! [ 
remember one time, General MacBaxter said, ‘Foxx, 
go down to the hole,’ we were stationed down in 
equatorial Africa, he said, "Go down to the river bank 
and get some water for the men to drink, because they 
can't get down there. Go and get it nght away.’ I said, 
‘Okay, General.’ I went down to the water hole and 
took this combat helmet and went to dip some water up, 
and just as I went to dip, a crocodile opened up his jaws 
and said, ‘AAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRR!!!’ That really 
scared me, cause I'd never seen a crocodile, I turned 
around, splittin’ back to camp. General says, "Where's 
the water, Foxx?’ I said, ‘There was a crocodile down 
there, General, and when I went to dip to get the....,” he 
said, ‘Where's the water?" [ said, ‘Didn’t I just get 
through tellin’ you there was a crocodile down there?’ 
He said, ‘Well, what happened?’ I said, ‘the crocodile 
snapped at me,’ he said, “Well, listen, the crocodile was 
only afraid of ya’...I said, ‘Hell, if he was half as afraid 
of me as I was of him, that water wasn’t fit to drink, no 
how!" 2) "This one guy went to the store, he wanted to 
buy a fig leaf so he could go to a party dressed as 
Adam. So, he tried to buy a fig leaf that was BIG 
enough to cover up, cause he was sort of...He asked the 
clerk, ‘Could you find me a fig leaf that's big enough to 
cover everything?’ The clerk says, ‘I've looked all over 
the store, and I can't find no fig leaf big enough to 


cover you, sir.’ He asked the clerk, “Well, what would @ 
you suggest?’ Clerk said, ‘Well, if [ was you, I'd just | 

throw it across my amm...’” (audience laughter renders HR 
Foxx inaudible for about 10 seconds) "'Throw it across 9 


my arm and go as a filling station!’" (JB) 


The Sidesplitter Vol. 2 (Dooto/DTL 270, 1960) Fairly 
low key performance and audience (At one point he @ 
tells the too quiet crowd to “Put some sound in your @ 
laugh...laugh like you're at home cleaning chitlins with & 
no gloves.) but there’s a few good quickies, including 


“You can’t love me the way I want to be loved...on 
credit” and “The three quickest ways to get news 


around...Television, telephone and tell-a-woman.” “IT | 
worked at one place so rough the bouncers were —% 
throwing people in.” Lots of fishing and fish jokes, and <9 
remarkably, none about vaginal odor! This contains the £ 
famed, self-explanatory “Mother Frockers and Cork : 


Soakers Convention” routine (JA) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. I (Dooto/271, 1960) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. 2 (Dooto 272, 1960) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. 2 (Dooto 273, 1960) 
Excerpts galore from the LP, “Mother Frockers” is on 
Vol. 3. JIA) 

The New Race Track (also released as Racy Tales) 
(Dooto/DTL 275, 1960) For a while this was implied 
that this was the best selling in the Dooto collection 
(which it couldn't be, “Laff Of The Party” is the 
Thriller of party albums), and I believe it sold plenty 
based on the cover alone: A sexy lady in underwear, 
fishnets and a jockey’s silk hat straddling a cartoonish 
hobby horse who seems to be enjoying it! Of course, 
“The Race track” is one of Foxx’ all time classics, 
where he announces a race with naughty names 
(jockey A. Crabb is riding horse My Dick). But forget 
the jokes... let me see that cover again! (WT) 

Racy Tales (Fox/FR 110, 1960) I don’t know what the 
deal was with “Fox” records but this is the same record. 
Some “Fox” records don’t even have Redd Foxx’ name 
on the cover. I question the kosherness of these 
releases, but Dootsie Williams wasn't exactly a rabbi 
buisnesswise himself, so who knows, he may have been 
licensing to the bootleggers. Redd didn’t trust him by 
this point. (JA) 


Racy Tales EP Pt. 1 (Dooto 276, and maybe 279 as 
well?, 1960) Again with the almost naked girl on the 
horse, and some prime hillbilly, Confucius, and naughty 
jokes. (WT) 

Racy Tales EP Pt. 2 (Dooto 277, 1960) More from the 
LP, with a picture sleeve. (JA) 

Funa (Dooto/DTL 290, 1960) Early on Redd tells the 
audience, “Let me sit down...that’s better, I feel like 
Shelly Berman.” That sets the tone for a not 
particularly raucous, but very solid set that picks up 
steam modestly as it goes along. Insight into the 
Foxxian method is revealed as he mumbles at one point, 
“You notice I don’t have any particular pattern, I just 
tell stories as I go, I don’t have time for..." Then he 
tells an unrelated lawyer joke. Hmmmm? On the joke 
side, here’s a gem: One soldier asks another, “What did 
you get all those medals for?” “For gunnery.” Well | 
had it three years age, they didn’t give me none!” (JA) 

Funn EP Pt. 1 (Dooto/291, 1960) 

Funan EP Pt. 2 (Dooto/292, 1960) Excerpts from this 
solid album in a fancy sleeve. Part two contains this 
joke: “I'd like to sing you the theme song for a pregnant 
ballerina...” (stngs) “I should have danced all night...” 
(JA) 

The Best Laff (Dooto/DTL 291, falso issued as DTL O! 
for a while...'ll explain why later] 1960) Features an 
amazing cover photo of an extreme close up of Redd 
tinted Redd and laughing. The back cover fotos show a 
dignified Redd, which makes sense as this is a relatively 
clean album. The long opening. cynical bit about 
“Childless Couples” basically says that most chldren are 
drooling idiots who ruin your life. Even his relatively 
clean stuff has serious edge, for example, the best joke: 
“I was sitting at one of those lunch counters, they said 
“We don't serve colored people.’ [ said, “I don’t eat 
colored people!” This clean album was actually issued 
to get Foxx a comedy Grammy. The weird alternate 
issue number was likely an attempt to pretend the dirty 
records didn't exist. He didn’t win the Grammy, by the 
way. This is available as a LO” or 12” record. (JA) 

Sly Sex (Dooto/DTL 295, 1960) No Foxx on the cover, 

just a girl in all red tones. Redd has a good rapport with 
avery drunk audience, featuring back-talking Black 
ladies. He opens by explaining “I work in joints where 
the burlesque girls work. The fellas yell ‘Take it off, 
take it off.’ One girl was so ugly they hollered ‘Leave 
iton! Leave it on!’” (EG) 


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Sly Sex ep Pt. 1 (Dooto/296, 1960) 

Sly Sex ep Pt. 2 (Dooto/297, 1960) Excerpts from the 
LP in nice sleeves. (JA) 

“118 Ways To Make Love” biw “Preganacy Co- 
operation” (Dooto/458, 1960) Maybe I'm in bad mood, 
but this shit just dida’t tickle me a bit. (EG) 

“Christmas Hard Times” biw “Jaw Resting” 
(Dootone/464, 1960) The A side starts with little 
Rodney (his son, who he mentions whenever a joke 
requires it. He had an adopted daughter, but to my 
knowledge, no son. He also wasn't in the army as 
many jokes imply) getting on the pony ride at a 
department store one December. Problem is, he refuses 
to get off, despite the warnings of others, so “Santa 
Claus” strolls over, whispers in his ear, and finally little 
Rodney jumps off the horse. And what did Santa say? 
He basically told him to get off that hoss before Rodney 
gets a broken neck. Not one of his more inspired jokes 
And if you're making a Xmas mixed tape, be aware that 
this is followed by three more jokes that have nothing to 
do with the holidays---two take place in a barroom, one 
bit of bizarre wordplay involves a “stagnant” (i.e. 
pregnant) woman who tells the cab driver to take her to 
the “fraternity (maternity) ward.” (JP) 

Have One On Me (Dooto/DTL 298, 1960) Red actually 
comments early on that, “It's a good laugher here 
tonight” responding to a particular hearty audience 
member. He kicks off the show with, “I hate to start 
off on a sour note, but my neighbor's baby swallowed a 
.22 caliber bullet today. She took him to the doctor, told 
him the baby had swallowed a .22 caliber bullet, what 
can we do? ‘The only thing we can do. Give him half 
a bottle of castor oil and don't aim him at anybody.’” 
Later Redd comments, “I stay out to all hours of the 
afternoon.” (EG) 

Have One On Me ep Pt. 1 (Dooto/299, 1960) 

Have One On Me ep Pt. 2 (Dooto/200, 1960) Excerpts 
from the album in nice sleeves, Note that the rapid 
release of records finally caught up with them and they 
screwed up the catalogue numbers. 

Laffarama (Dooto/DTL 801, 1960) Redd makes lots of 
jokes about women’s underwear and couture on this 
one. Not his nastiest, but he was on a roll of confident, 
hearty albums around this time. I don’t know if I'd call 





this a LaffARama, but it's certainly LaffsAPlenty or at 
the very least LaffTastic. (WT) 

Wild Party (Dooto/DTL 804, 1960) First Joke: "I guess 
some of you fellas were overseas... Maybe some of you 
were in prison camp, like myself. I was a prisoner of 
war...although on THIS side!" Best Joke: “I hate to 
bring up election stories, but a fella had a bet with his 
secretary, see, she said that Kennedy would win, and 
he said Nixon would win. He told her, “Look, I'll lay 
you 12 to I°,she said, “That's good, that’s my lunch 
hour!* (JB) 
This Is Foxx (Dooto/DTL 809) 1960) First Joke: "This 
fella was goin’ to the electnc chair...The warden was 
standin’ there, talkin’ to him, he said, ‘Now, I'm gonna 
allow you 5 minutes of grace before the execution’ 
The condemned mao said, ‘Well, that ain't long, but 
bring her on anyhow!" Best Joke: “This fella from 
Chicago, you might have heard of him, his name's 
‘Daddy-O." When I was in Chicago, he took his girl 
out for dinner, y'know, he was goin’ dutch treat. They 
felt like eatin' Chinese food, so they decided to go down 
to the famous ‘House of Bong,’ and they were sittin’ 
there, and they were ordering, so, just to have a little 
fun, Daddy-O said ‘Bring me some flied lice.’ The 
waiter left, and he returned with some won ton soup, 
they ate it, and Daddy-O looked at the waiter again, 
and said, ‘We want flied lice." This time, the waiter 
brought back some eggrolls,and Daddy-O screamed 
out, louder than before, ‘HOW "BOUT THAT FLIED 
LICE?!t* This time, the Chinese waiter, he walked 
over to him, he leaned in close to him, and said, ‘Look, 
can't you pronounce ‘Fned rice,’ you plick?’" Fans of 
antique furniture will love the cover of the album this 
came from: Foxx looking dapper, standing in a phone 
booth, grinning broadly while speaking on a pay phone 
with a rotary dial, something you t:uch-tone kids don't 
know about! (For that matter, when's the last time you 
saw a four-sided phone booth? With the fold-out 
door?) (JB, JP) 

“With My Teeth” “No Teeth’ biw ‘The Fast 
Driver’\Dootone 460, 1960) First joke: during the war 
in Germany, a man tells his wife to head for the shelter 
when the bombs start dropping. His wife says: "Go to 
the shelter? Wait a minute---] can't find my teeth!" Her 
husband responds: "You better come on---they ain't 
throwin’ down no sandwiches!” Best joke: a guy throws 
a visiting relative out of his apartment, in the middle of 
an NYC blizzard. *I don't mind when my uncle wears 
my suits. I didn't even object when he smoked my best 
cigars! | didn't say nothin’ when he drank my bourbon 
and borrowed my car every night. But when he sat 
down at my dinner table and laughed at me with my 
own teeth, THAT WAS IT!" This extracts from the 
album of the same name eleven of Redd's most pointed, 
concise one-liners. Redd is his usual funny self. 
However, there is one weird distraction you have to 
listen closely for. on the track marked "The Fast 
Driver,” while Redd talks about a new automobile 
ready to hit the market, an engineer added a sound 
effect of an engine running...and did a bad job of it. It's 
mixed down low, but it’s there, obviously to amplify the 
joke, and not really coming off nght. (JP) 

This Is Foxx EP Pt. 1 (Dooto/810, 1960) 

This Is Foxx EP Pt. 2 (Dooto/811, 1960) Part 2 is the 
same as the record reviewed above, and [ should note, 
it features the amazing punchline-is-the-title joke 
“Mentholated Reefer.” . These are excerpts from the 
LP with nice covers. (JA) 

He’s Funny That Way (Dooto/DT!. 815, 1961) Redd 
actually looks ashamed on the cover... get that Redd 
Foxx with a sense of shame. Well, this LP is certainly 
nothing to feel bad about, as Redd shows no mercy to 
the church, the bedroom and the cannibal cooking pot. 
This is about the time Redd stopped recording for Dooto 
while his lawsuit wa son, but there was a bunch of stuff 
in the can, | guess. (WT) 

He's Funny That Way EP Pt. 1(Dooto/ 816, 1961) 

He’s Funny That Way EP Pt. 2(Dooto/ 817, 1961) Part 
one has all the prime cannibal jokes, so that wins this 
battle of the eps. (WT 


m6 





19 


Al Jazzville USA (Dooto/DTL 820, 1961) The finer 
notes imply that this record is Jazzy and unusual 
because Redd is improvising the act, which is stretching 
the definition of improv; his repertoire of a million jokes 
is memorized and rehearsed, so though he doesn't have 
a set routine mapped out, he certainly is drawing on 
pre-wnitten material. But improv or not they are good. 
“What has 1,000 legs and a cherry? 55 strippers and a 
Tom Collins.” And an Aunt Esther preview with “She 
was ugleece...looked like a hippopotamus sucking a 
lime!" (EG) 
At Jazzville USA EP Pt, 1 (Dooto/821, 1961) 
Al Jazzville USA EP pt. 2 (Dooto/822, 1961) These are 
both drawn from the excellent album, but if you bad to 
pick one, get Vol. 2, if only for the pun “Prune Tang.” 
Hearty Party Laffs (Dootoo/DTL 828, 1962) Good 
vibes, good crowd, Redd’s on and it's an overall good 
record. Top jokes: “There is a difference between war 
and peace, there's never been a good war.” (I guess if 
I'd spelled it “piece” it would make more sense, but 
woulda gave it way) “Fella called a plumber and said 
‘IL gotta leak in my basement." Plumber says, ‘Well go 
ahead.’ A young girl goes to the doctor and he has her 
take of her blouse, puts the stethoscope on and says, 
‘Big Breaths, Big Breaths’ She says, ‘Yeth, and I’m 
only thixteen!’ (JA) 
The New Fugg (Dooto/DTL 830, 1962) One of the 
cleaner joke collections, until he gets to the oldie but 
badie “Fugg It" and “Sugg It” routine (about a new 
soap called “Fugg.”). He actually does this joke on the 
album: “Take my wife... please!” At one point he tells 
the audience “Laugh like an oatmeal eater.” This is 
definitely Dootsie Williams scraping the barrel to come 
up with LPs while Redd was suing him and refusing to 
record. There’s several segments from different 
shows here, and on one slice he’s with a very 
interactive Black audience, and he gets looser. This LP 
ends with two very straightforward recordings of 
“Knock Me A Kiss’ and ‘I Lost My Heart Over You’ 
(simply fisted on the sleeve as “Hit Record,” likely to 
avoid paying the writers and publishers, who go 
unlisted). If this was ever a Dootone single I haven't 
seen it listed anywhere. When Foxx gets his sing on, | 
always enjoy it. This is a pretty good diverse overall 
album (JA) 
Laff Along (Dooto/DTL 832, 1962) This is a fairly 
clean record, full of “little stories,” “cornballs” and 
even knock knock jokes! In fact, the dirtiest joke on 
the entire record is about a lady sheriff who has “the 
biggest posse” you've ever seen. An interesting note: 
He pretends to be from the South so he car tell cow 
poop jokes. Top ticklers: “The doctor who worked on 
Christine (Jourgensen) is now working at Knotts Berry 
Farm tuming boysenberries into girsenberries.” “Did 
you hear about the cow who swallowed a bottle of 
ink...he moo-ed indigo.” (Redd dedicated that one the 
Duke Ellington) And finally, a joke that best 
demonstrates Redd’s odd, brilliant mind to me: “A 
guard from a lunatic asylum, he rushed up to a farmer, 
he says ‘Listen, a lunatic escaped, did anybody pass this 
way?’ Farmer puffed on his corn cob pipe, he looked 
up slowly, said, ‘What does he look like?’ Guard says, 
‘He’s short, thin, weighs about 350 pounds.’ Farmer 
says, ‘How can somebody short and thin weigh 350 


pounds?’ Guard says, ‘Don’t look at me...I told you he } 


was crazy!'" (JA) 

Crack Up (Dooto/DTL 834, 1963) This shouldn't be 
one of my favorites, with its dated jokes (Kruschev an4 
Adam Clayton Powell references fly early on) and th. 
very unusual Un-Foxx-like Moms Mabley-esque nasa 
delivery...but it is. The young voice indicates this had 
been in the vaults a good long time. as the lawsuit was 
just wrapping up and new recordings weren't yet 





















disputes over loot and rights to the back catalogue, 
Redd was actually gaining some renown for a cleaner 
act during this era. As Redd's star rose over the next 
decade with movies and “Sanford” Dooto would 
continue to unleash recordings of older material, much 
of it guite familiar sounding. Ptenty of Foxx chestnuts 
on this one. Interestingly, this was supposed to br called 
“Cleanies But Goodies.” (EG) 


Both Sides (Loma/LS 5901, (Warner Brothers 5901 in 
New Zealand] 1967) Though Dooto would sul! release 
stuff they had in the can, Redd was taking a giant step 
for Party records by releasing overground smut on 
Warner Brothers/Reprise (under their ghetto label, 
Loma) at Frank Sinatra's urging. I at first was shocked 
that Redd’s major iabel records contained reissued 
Dooto sides, but that proved to not be the case... he just 
repeated some of his old matenal! in the same order and 
it sounded extremely similar. I mean, the delivery is 
eerily similar, but he mentions Viet Nam in his army 
jokes that use dto mention WWII (General to Foxx: 
Why are you running? Foxx: Because I can't fly!) 
Best joke has a reverend in the jungle being chased by 
alion "So he decided he couldn't outrun the lion, so he 
got on his knees to pray. And it was silent. He opens 
his eyes, the lion is doing the same thing. The reverend 
says, * I didn't know lions prayed.’ The lion said, ‘You 
praying, I'm saying my grace, ‘cause I'm gonna eat 
you up!” Notable here is that, though he does a good 
job, Redd is not taking this album any more seriously 
than any of his previous ones. Major label just meant 
he expected to get paid, not that he should polish his act. 
(EG) 

On The Loose (Loma!/Wamer Brothers'LS 5905, 1967) 
Though the sleeve promises, “This time is his funniest 
on record” (7) what's most “impressive” here is how a 
major label release has as crappy, or worse, standards 
as the labels that released Foxx LPs on the down low. 
Sample joke: A little boy who's just learning to pee in 
the toilet “just got on the edge, and the seat fell on him, 
so he goes crying to his mother, ‘Kiss it, kiss it, and 
make it well!’ She says, “Shut up, dammit, you're 
getting more like your father every day!" (EG) 

Redd Foxx-“Live” In Las Vegas (Loma/LS 5906, 1967) 
Frank Sinatra probably wanted more Vegas, less LA on 
these albums. Better recording than his first Loma LPs, 
but just as nasty material, perhaps even filthier. 
Recorded at the Aladdin. (WT) 

Laff Your Head Off (MF/RF 1, 1967’'CD, Encore 501!4- 
2) Redd's album’s on his own MF label are for the most 
part recorded live at the Redd Foxx Club in LA (some 
of Pryor’s albums are recorded there too, he may have 
had a low grade recording system permanently set up) 
and what you get is a Black audience (you can hear 
them talking back) and some edgier, more political 
acial humor He recalls a racist white telling him, “A 


me wife Joi, Redd 
w/2nd wife Betty, A 
King his queen and 
a wildcard, Redd w 

his guardian angel 
Della Reese. Left: 
Redd and Sammy 


*- 


available to Dootsie Williams. In addition to having af 





dramatic cover designed to look like it’s exploding, this fi 


also won me over as soon as Redd opens the set by 
attacking a heckler who interrupts his Kruschev bit. 
Before the more typical, “I wouldn't come down to 
where you work and move your mop and greasy rag,” 
he lets loose this snappy answer to stupid heckling: “I 
could shut you up permanently, but my zipper’s stuck!” 
Ooovcoohhhh! (EG) 

Fuany Stuff (Dooto/DTL 835, 1963) Do you think the 
woman that howls with hyena like laughter on the Redd 
record is a plant? Not that the jokes aren’t great, or 
like the audience needs much prompting. But, c’mon, 
there are laugh breaks as long or longer than the jokes 
on this one. “French women know how to hold their 
liquor...by the ears!” “If you want to keep a baby 
quiet...give it a warm bottle of glue.” Fave moment: He 
admonishes one couple, “You don’t laugh, see, it’s hard 
to record a smile.” (JA) 

Naughties but Goodies (Dooto/DTL 838, 1965) The 
records aren't coming as fast and furious as they once 
did. In fact, though Dooto won in court against Foxx in 





crowd, invoking future Dooto labelmate Martin Luther 
King more than label mate Rudy Ray Moore. While 
I’m sure he went to a basement party here and there, 
I'll go out on a limb and say that King was less 
influenced by Foxx than Moore. Oral sex, gambling 
and women of questionable morals are the key subjects 
this time around. (WT) 

The Sidesplitter (Fox/FR 109) A knockoff bootleg (1 
think) of the same album. See Racy Tales (WT) 

Laff Of The Party Vol. 8 (Dooto/DTL-265, 1959) 
Opener: “I'm afraid now it's more BALONEY. Their 
first Sputnik Russia put up, they sent a dog up in it, or 
was that the second one? I know they sent a dog up to 
the moon, or tried to reach him out in outer space, but 
the Americans are different, they put a colored fella up 
there, the only one with enough guts to really wanna 
go! Everybody's trying to keep it a secret, because 
America dont want the Russians to know that the jig is 
up! Best Joke: It’s a toss-up between these two: 1) 
“You know, you've seen the army helmets, the combat 
helmet, you have to be very careful, y'see, I work with 
one in the club every night, and I check it to see that it’s 
cool, cause there's 1001 uses for a army helmet! 1 
remember one time, General MacBaxter said, ‘Foxx, 
go down to the hole,” we were stationed down in 
equatonal Africa, he said, ‘Go down to the river bank 
and get some water for the men to drink, because they 
can't get down there. Go and get it right away.’ I said, 
‘Okay, General.” I went down to the water hole and 
took this combat helmet and went to dip some water up, 
and just as I went to dip, a crocodile opened up his jaws 
and said, ‘AAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRR!!!’ That really 
scared me, cause I'd never seen a crocodile, I turned 
around, splittin’ back to camp. General says, "Where's 
the water, Foxx?’ I said, ‘There was a crocodile down 
there, General, and when I went to dip to get the....,” he 
said, ‘Where's the water?’ I said, ‘Didn't I just get 
through tellin’ you there was a crocodile down there?’ 
He said, ‘Well, what happened?’ I said, ‘the crocodile 
snapped at me,’ he said, ‘Well, listen, the crocodile was 
only afraid of ya’...I said, ‘Hell, if he was half as afraid 
of me as I was of him, that water wasn't fit to drink, no 
how!" 2) "This one guy went to the store, he wanted to 
buy a fig leaf so he could go to a party dressed as 
Adam. So, he tried to buy a fig leaf that was BIG 
enough to cover up, cause he was sort of...He asked the 
clerk, ‘Could you find me a fig leaf that’s big enough to 
cover everything?’ The clerk says, ‘I've looked all over 
the store, and I can't find no fig leaf big enough to 
cover you, sir.’ He asked the clerk, ‘Well, what would 


you suggest?’ Clerk said, “Well, if I was you, I'd just | 
throw it across my arm...’” (audience laughter renders JM 
Foxx inaudible for about 10 seconds) "’Throw it across @& 


my arm and go as a filling station!’” (JB) 


The Sidesplitter Vol. 2 (Dooto/DTL 270, 1960) Fairly 

low key performance and audience (At one point he § 
tells the too quiet crowd to “Put some sound in your @ 
laugh...laugh like you're at home cleaning chitlins with f& 


no gloves.”) but there’s a few good quickies, including 
“You can’t love me the way I want to be loved...on 
credit” and “The three quickest ways to get news 


around...Television, telephone and tell-a-woman.” “I. 
worked at one place so rough the bouncers were 
throwing people in.” Lots of fishing and fish jokes, and HAy \ 
remarkably, none about vaginal odor! This contains the 43. 

famed, self-explanatory “Mother Frockers and Cork : 


Soakers Convention” routine (JA) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. 1 (Dooto/271, 1960) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. 2 (Dooto 272, 1960) 

The Sidesplitter EP Vol. 2 Pt. 2(Dooto 273, 1960) 


Excerpts galore from the LP, “Mother Frockers” is on 


Vol. 3. (JA) 


The New Race Track (also released as Racy Tales) 


(Dooto/DTL 275, 1960) For a while this was implied 
that this was the best selling ia the Dooto collection 
(which it couldn't be, “Laff Of The Party” is the 


~~ 


wat 


Racy Tales EP Pt. | (Dooto 276, and maybe 279 as 
well?, 1960) Again with the almost naked girl on the 
horse, and some prime hillbilly, Confucius, and naughty 
jokes. (WT) 

Racy Tales EP Pt, 2 (Dooto 277, 1960) More from the 
LP, with a picture sleeve. (JA) 

Funan (Dooto/DTL 290, 1960) Early on Redd tells the 
audience, “Let me sit down...that’s better, I feel like 
Shelly Berman.” That sets the tone for a not 
particularly raucous, but very solid set that picks up 
steam modestly as it goes along. Insight into the 
Foxxian method is revealed as he mumbles at one point, 
“You notice | don't have any particular pattern, I just 
tell stones as I go, I don’t have time for...” Then he 
tells an unrelated lawyer joke. Hmmmm? On the joke 
side, here’s a gem: One soldier asks another, “What did 
you get all those medals for?” “For gunnery.” Well ! 
had it three years age, they didn’t give me none!" (JA) 

Fuan EP Pt. 1 (Dooto/291, 1960) 

Funn EP Pt. 2 (Dooto/292, 1960) Excerpts from this 
solid album in a fancy sleeve. Part two contains this 
joke: “I'd like to sing you the theme song for a pregnant 
ballerina...” (sings) “I should have danced ail night...” 
(JA) 

The Best Laff (Dooto/DTL 291, [also issued as DTL O01 
for a while...['ll explain why later] 1960) Features an 
amazing cover photo of an extreme close up of Redd 
tinted Redd and laughing. The back cover fotos show a 
dignified Redd, which makes sense as this is a relatively 
clean album. The long opening, cynical bit about 
“Childless Couples” basically says that most chidren are 
drooling tdiots who ruin your life. Even his relatively 
clean stuff has serous edge, for example, the best joke: 
“I was sitting at one of those lunch counters, they said 
“We don't serve colored people.’ [ said, “I don’t eat 
colored people!” This clean album was actually issued 
to get Foxx a comedy Grammy. The weird alternate 
issue number was likely an attempt to pretend the dirty 
records didn't exist. He didn't win the Grammy, by the 
way. This is available as a 10°’ or 12” record. (JA) 

Sly Sex (Dooto/DTL 295, 1960) No Foxx on the cover, 

just a girl in all red tones. Redd has a good rapport with 
avery drunk audience, featuring back-talking Black 
ladies. He opens by explaining “I work in joints where 
the burlesque girls work. The fellas yell “Take it off, 
take it off.’ One girl was so ugly they hollered ‘Leave 
iton! Leave it on!’” (EG) 


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Sly Sex ep Pt. 1 (Dooto/296, 1960) 

Sly Sex ep Pt. 2 (Dooto/297, 1960) Excerpts from the 
LP in nice sleeves. (JA) 

“118 Ways To Make Love” biw “Preganacy Co- 
operation” (Dooto/458, 1960) Maybe I'm in bad mood, 
but this shit just didn’t tickle me a bit. (EG) 

“Christmas Hard Times” biw “Jaw Resting” 
(Dootone/464, 1960) The A side starts with little 
Rodney (his son, who he mentions whenever a joke 
requires it. He had an adopted daughter, but to my 
knowledge, no son. He also wasn't in the army as 
many jokes imply) getting on the pony ride at a 
department store one December. Problem is, he refuses 
to get off, despite the warnings of others, so "Santa 
Claus” strolls over, whispers in his ear, and finally little 
Rodney jumps off the horse. And what did Santa say? 
He basically told him to get off that hoss before Rodney 
gets a broken neck. Not one of his more inspired jokes. 
And if you're making a Xmas mixed tape, be aware thal 
this is followed by three more jokes that have nothing to 
do with the holidays---two take place in a barroom, one 
bit of bizarre wordplay involves a “stagnant” (1.e. 
pregnant) woman who tells the cab driver to take her to 
the “fraternity (matemity) ward." (JP) 

Have One On Me (Dooto/DTL 298, 1960) Red actually 
comments early on that, “It's a good laugher here 
tonight” responding to a particular hearty audience 
member. He kicks off the show with, “I hate to start 
off on a sour note, but my neighbor's baby swallowed a 
.22 caliber bullet today. She took him to the doctor, told 
him the baby had swallowed a .22 caliber bullet, what 
can we do? ‘The only thing we can do. Give him half 
a bottle of castor oil and don’t aim him at anybody.’” 
Later Redd comments, “I stay out to all hours of the 
afternoon.” (EG) 

Have One On Me ep Pt. I (Dooto/299, 1960) 

Have One On Me ep Pt. 2 (Dooto/200, 1960) Excerpts 
from the album in nice sleeves. Note that the rapid 
release of records finally caught up with them and they 
screwed up the catalogue numbers. 

Laffarama (Dooto/DTL 801, 1960) Redd makes lots of 
jokes about women's underwear and couture on this 
one. Not his nastiest, but he was on a roll of confident, 
hearty albums around this time. I don't know if I'd call 











Thriller of party albums), and I believe it sold plenty 
based on the cover alone: A sexy lady in underwear, 
fishnets and a jockey’s silk hat straddling a cartoonish 
hobby horse who seems to be enjoying it! Of course, 
“The Race track” is one of Foxx’ all time classics, 
where he announces a race with naughty names 
(jockey A. Crabb is riding horse My Dick). But forget 
the jokes...let me see that cover again! 

Racy Tales (Fox/FR 110, 1960) I don’t know what the 
deal was with “Fox” records but this is the same record. 
Some “Fox” records don’t even have Redd Foxx’ name ayn 
on the cover. I question the koshemess of these SS ee 2) 
releases, but Dootsie Williams wasn't exactly a rabbi | 7 A ~ 
buisnesswise himself, so who knows, he may have been RE 
licensing to the bootleggers. Redd didn't trust him by ... | BE 


this point. (JA) Redd and Dootsie “Dooto Records” Williams in happier times 





18 


this a LaffARama, but it’s certainly LaffsAPlenty or at 
the very least LaffTastic. (WT) 

Wild Party (Dooto/DTL 804, 1960) First Joke: “I guess 
some of you fellas were overseas... Maybe some of you 
were in prison camp, like myself. 1 was a prisoner of 
war...although on TH/S side!" Best Joke: “I hate to 
bring up election stories, but a fella had a bet with his 
secretary, see, she said that Kennedy would win, and 
he said Nixon would win. He told her, “Look, I'll lay 
you 12 to 1*,she said, “That's good, that's my lunch 
hour!" (JB) 
This Is Foxx (Dooto/DTL 809) 1960) First Joke: "Thts 
fella was goin’ to the electric chair...The warden was 
standin’ there, talkin’ to him, he said, ‘Now, I'm gonna 
allow you 5 minutes of grace before the execution’ 
The condemned man said, ‘Well, that ain't long, but 
bring her on anyhow!" Best Joke: "This fella from 
Chicago, you might have heard of him, his name's 
‘Daddy-O.’ When I was in Chicago, he took his girl 
out for dinner, y'know, he was goin’ dutch treat. They 
felt like eatin’ Chinese food, so they decided to go down 
to the famous ‘House of Bong,’ and they were sittin’ 
there, and they were ordering, so, just to have a little 
fun, Daddy-O said ‘Bring me some flied lice.’ The 
waiter left, and he retumed with some won ton soup, 
they ate it, and Daddy-O looked at the waiter again, 
and said, ‘We want flied lice.’ This time, the waiter 
brought back some eggrolls,and Daddy-O screamed 
out, louder than before, ‘HOW ‘BOUT THAT FLIED 
LICE?!!" This time, the Chinese waiter, he walked 
over to him, he ieaned in close to him, and said, ‘Look, 
can't you pronounce ‘Fned rice,’ you plick?’” Fans of 
antique furniture will love the cover of the album this 
came from: Foxx looking dapper, standing in a phone 
booth, grinning broadly while speaking on a pay phone 
with a rotary dial, something you t:uch-tone kids don't 
know about! (For that matter, when's the last time you 
saw a four-sided phone booth? With the fold-out 
door?) (JB, JP) 

“With Afy Teeth” “No Teeth’ b/w ‘The Fast 
Driver’(Dootone 460, 1960) First joke: during the war 
in Germany, a man tells his wife to head for the shelter 
when the bombs start dropping. His wife says: "Go to 
the shelter? Wait a minute---I can't find my teeth!" Her 
husband responds: "You better come on---they ain't 
throwin’ down no sandwiches!" Best joke: a guy throws 
a visiting relative out of his apartment, tn the middle of 
an NYC blizzard. “I don't mind when my uncle wears 
my suits. I didn’t even object when he smoked my best 
cigars! I didn't say nothin’ when he drank my bourbon 
and borrowed my car every night. But when he sat 
down at my dinner table and laughed at me with my 
own teeth, THAT WAS IT!" This extracts from the 
album of the same name eleven of Redd'‘s most pointed, 
concise one-liners. Redd is his usual funny self. 
However,- there is one weird distraction you have to 
listen closely for. on the track marked “The Fast 
Driver,” while Redd talks about a new automobile 
ready to hit the market, an engineer added a sound 
effect of an engine running...and did a bad job of it. It’s 
mixed down low, but it's there, obviously to amplify the 
joke, and not really coming off right. (JP) 

This Is Foxx EP Pt. 1 (Dooto/810, 1960) 

This Is Foxx EP Pt. 2 (Dooto/811, 1960) Part 2 is the 
same as the record reviewed above, and I should note, 
it features the amazing punchline-is-the-title joke 
“Mentholated Reefer.” . These are excerpts from the 
LP with nice covers. (JA) 

He's Funny That Way (Dooto/DT!L 815, 1961) Redd 
actually looks ashamed on the cover... get that Redd 
Foxx with a sense of shame. Well, this LP is certainly 
nothing to feel bad about, as Redd shows no mercy to 
the church, the bedroom and the cannibal cooking pot. 
This is about the time Redd stopped recording for Dooto 
while his lawsuit wa son, but there was a bunch of stuff 
in the can, I guess. (WT) 

He's Funny That Way EP Pt. 1(Dooto/ 816, 1961) 

He’s Funay That Way EP Pt. 2(Dooto/ 817, 1961) Part 
one has all the prime cannibal jokes, so that wins this 
battle of the eps. (WT 





At Jazzville USA (Dooto/DTL 820, 1961) The liner 
notes imply that this record is Jazzy and unusual 
because Redd is improvising the act, which is stretching 
the definition of improv; his repertoire of a million jokes 
is memorized and rehearsed, so though he doesn't have 
a set routine mapped out, he certainly is drawing on 
pre-written material. But improv or not they are good. 
“What has 1,000 legs and a cherry? 55 strippers and a 
Tom Collins.” And an Aunt Esther preview with “She 
was ugleeee...looked like a hippopotamus sucking a 
lime!” (EG) 
At Jazzville USA EP Pt. 1 (Dooto/821, 1961) 
Al Jazzville USA EP pt. 2 (Dooto/822, 1961) These are 
both drawn from the excellent album, but if you had to 
pick one, get Vol. 2, if only for the pun “Prune Tang.” 
Hearty Party Laffs (Dootoo/DTL 828, 1962) Good 
vibes, good crowd, Redd's on and it’s an overall good 
record. Top jokes: “There is a difference between war 
and peace, there's never been a good war.” (I guess if 
I'd spelled it “piece” it would make more sense, but 
woulda gave it way) “Fella called a plumber and said 
“{ gotta leak in my basement.’ Plumber says, ‘Well go 
ahead.’ A young girl goes to the doctor and he has her 
take of her blouse, puts the stethoscope on and says, 
‘Big Breaths, Big Breaths’ She says, *Yeth, and I'm 
only thixteen!" (JA) 
The New Fugg (Dooto/DTL 830, 1962) One of the 
cleaner joke collections, until he gets to the oldie but 
badie “Fugg It” and “Sugg It” routine (about a new 
soap called “Fugg."’). He actually does this joke on the 
album: “Take my wife...please!” At one point he tells 
the audience “Laugh like an oatmeal eater.” This is 
definitely Dootsie Williams scraping the barrel to come 
up with LPs while Redd was suing him and refusing to 
record. There’s several segments from different 
shows here, and on one slice he’s with a very 
interactive Black audience, and he gets looser. This LP 
ends with two very straightforward recordings of 
“Knock Me A Kiss’ and ‘I Lost My Heart Over You’ 
(simply listed on the sleeve as “Hit Record,” likely to 
avoid paying the writers and publishers, who go 
unlisted). If this was ever a Dootone single ] haven't 
seen it listed anywhere. When Foxx gets his sing on, | 
always enjoy it. This is a pretty good diverse overall 
album (JA) 
Laff Along (Dooto/DTL 832, 1962) This is a fairly 
clean record, full of “little stories,” “cornballs” and 
even knock knock jokes! In fact, the dirtiest joke on 
the entire record is about a lady sheriff who has “the 
biggest posse" you've ever seen. An interesting note: 
He pretends to be from the South so he can tell cow 
poop jokes. Top ticklers: “The doctor who worked on 
Christine (Jourgensen) is now working at Knotts Berry 
Farm tuming boysenberries into girsenberries.” “Did 
you hear about the cow who swallowed a bottle of 
ink...he moo-ed indigo.” (Redd dedicated that one the 
Duke Ellington) And finally, a joke that best 
demonstrates Redd’s odd, brilliant mind to me: “A 
guard from a lunatic asylum, he rushed up to a farmer, 
he says ‘Listen, a lunatic escaped, did anybody pass this 
way?’ Farmer puffed on his corn cob pipe, he looked 
up slowly, said, ‘What does he look like?’ Guard says, 
‘He's short, thin, weighs about 350 pounds.” Farmer 
says, ‘How can somebody short and thin weigh 350 


pounds?’ Guard says, ‘Don't look at me...I told you he ; 


was crazy!"” (JA) 

Crack Up (Dooto/DTL 834, 1963) This shouldn't be 
one of my favorites, with its dated jokes (Kruschev an4 
Adam Clayton Powell references fly early on) and th. 
very unusual Un-Foxx-like Moms Mabley-esque nasa 
delivery... but it is. The young voice indicates this had 
been in the vaults a good long time. as the lawsuit was 
just wrapping up and new recordings weren't yet 





















disputes over loot and rights to the back catalogue, 
Redd was actually gaining some renown for a cleaner 
act dunng this era. As Redd’s star rose over the next 
decade with movies and “Sanford” Dooto would 
continue to uoleash recordings of older material, much 
of it quite familiar sounding. Plenty of Foxx chestnuts 
on this one. Interestingly, this was supposed to br called 
“Cleanies But Goodies.” (EG) 


Both Sides (Loma/LS 5901, [Wamer Brothers 5901 in 
New Zealand) 1967) Though Dooto would still release 
stuff they had in the can, Redd was taking a giant step 
for Party records by releasing overground smut on 
Warner Brothers/Reprise (under their ghetto label, 
Loma) at Frank Sinatra's urging. I at first was shocked 
that Redd's major label records contained reissued 
Dooto sides, but that proved to not be the case... he just 
repeated some of his old matenal tn the same order and 
it sounded extremely similar. I mean, the delivery is 
eerily similar, but he mentions Viet Nam in his army 
jokes that use dto mention WWII (General to Foxx: 
Why are you running? Foxx: Because I can't fly!) 
Best joke has a reverend in the jungle being chased by 
alion "So he decided he couldn't outrun the lion, so he 
got on his knees to pray. And it was silent. He opens 
his eyes, the lion is doing the same thing. The reverend 
says, * I didn't know lions prayed.” The lion said, ‘You 
praying, I'm saying my grace, ‘cause I’m gonna eal 
you up!” Notable here is that, though he does a good 
job, Redd is not taking this album any more senously 
than any of his previous ones. Major label just meant 
he expected to get paid, not that he should polish his act. 
(EG) 

On The Loose (Loma/Wamer Brothers'LS 5905, 1967) 
Though the sleeve promises, “This time is his funniest 
on record” (7) what's most “impressive” here is how a 
major label release has as crappy. or worse, standards 
as the labels that released Foxx LPs on the down low. 
Sample joke: A little boy who's just learning to pee in 
the toilet “just got on the edge, and the seat fell on him, 
so he goes crying to his mother, ‘Kiss it, kiss it, and 
make it well!’ She says, ‘Shut up, dammit, you're 
getting more like your father every day!"” (EG) 

Redd Foxx-“Live” In Las Vegas (Loma/LS 5906, 1967) 
Frank Sinatra probably wanted more Vegas, less LA on 
these albums. Better recording than his first Loma LPs, 
but just as nasty material, perhaps even filthier. 
Recorded at the Aladdin. (WT) 

Laff Your Head Off (MF/RF 1, 1967'CD, Encore 5014- 
2) Redd’s album’s on his own MF label are for the most 
part recorded live at the Redd Foxx Club in LA (some 
of Pryor’s albums are recorded there too, he may have 
had a low grade recording system permanently set up) 
and what you get is a Black audience (you can hear 
them talking back) and some edgier, more political 
racial humor He recalls a racist white telling him, “A 


King his queen and 
a wildcard, Redd w 
his guardian angel 
Detla Reese. Left 


available to Dootsie Williams. In addition to having af 


dramatic cover designed to look like it’s exploding, this ¥ 


also won me over as soon as Redd opens the set by 
attacking a heckler who interrupts his Kruschev bit. 
Before the more typical, “I wouldn't come down to 
where you work and move your mop and greasy rag,” 
he lets loose this snappy answer to stupid heckling: “I 
could shut you up permanently, but my zipper’s stuck!” 
Ooovoooohhhh! (EG) 

Funny Stuff (Dooto/DTL 835, 1963) Do you think the 
woman that howls with hyena like laughter on the Redd 
record is a plant? Not that the jokes aren't great, or 
like the audience needs much prompting. But, c’mon, 
there are laugh breaks as long or longer than the jokes 
on this one. “French women know how to hold their 
liquor...by the ears!” “If you want to keep a baby 
quict...give it a warm bottle of glue.” Fave moment: He 
admonishes one couple, “You don’t laugh, see, it’s hard 
to record a smile." (JA) 

Naughties but Goodies (Dooto/DTL 838, 1965) The 
records aren’t coming as fast and furious as they once 
did. In fact, though Dooto won in court against Foxx in 





REDD FOX 


{, 


Mae © 


1 +<e 
colored mammy raised me, I nursed at a colored 
mammy’s breast."" Redd’s response: “You're lucky, I 
didn’t get to a white one til I was 22.” He responds to 
the double standards of whites, whose daughters were 
getting covert illegal abortions, but who still criticize 
that blacks “have illegitimate babies. They do, but they 
have them.” He even explains that he doesn’t march 
“because I don't have reinforced cranium...(they come 
to my door) and say, ‘Go down to Mississippi, see what 
you can do?’ I can see what I can do from here.” On 
the less progressive tip “Cannibals, our cousins...they 
don't like broccoli, asparagus...they like kneecaps.” 
Available on both black and red vinyl.(WT) 

Laff Your Ass Off (MF/RF2, 1967) Though the crowd is 
ready, Redd is on autopilot for side 1, running through 
100 short jokes you heard 10 times before on previous 
records. Side two is more interesting, as Redd jokes 
about being in the movies, “An all Negro Western, it'l! 
be the first time the Indians win.” Then sort of 
seriously says he wants to be in movies and play Bill 
Cosby's father. Another good one: “I can trace my 
family back to Coltumbus...Georgia!” Available on both 
black and red vinyl. (JA) 

At Home (MF/RF-3, 1967) This record features the 
Redd Foxx Club on the cover and Redd really is at 
home on ‘t, messing with a well oiled audience. He tells 
someone to “sit in the back, don’t mess up my record 
with an ‘oooh!’" Then before going at a girl in the 
audience he promises, “We'll edit this out of the 
record.” There's a million great jokes on this one, 
here's a few: “If you had a big green ball in this hand 
and a big green ball in the other hand what would you 
have? The Jotly Green giant in a hell of a fix.” “I'm 
white...this is a freckle.” “How do you keep an 
elephant from stampeding...cut off his stam-peter!” 
(JA) 

A Whole Lot Of Soul (MF/RF 4, 1967) Another quickie, 
poorly recorded, at Foxx’ own club. (EG) 
Foxx-A-Delic - Live In Las Vegas (Loma/LS 5908, 
1968) This may not be the best Redd Foxx album (OK, 
it definitely isn’t the best Redd Foxx album) but it is 
quite possibly the best Redd Foxx album cover...a super 
psychedelic affair with some serious acid punch. Redd 
wasn't seally an acid freak, he was a coke head, but 
coke art never really caught on in album design. (EG) 


5 “iar % 





Adults Only (Dooto/DTL 840, 1968) In the mid 60s 
Redd moved from LA clubs to Vegas showrooms, was 
making guest appearances on TV talk shows, was 
releasing major label albums, was gaining a large white 
audience and was getting paid in 4 digit increments for 
@ night’s work (as opposed to the far less lucrative 
chitlin’ circuit gigs). I note that to point out that though 
he hadn't broken through on “Sanford and Son” yet, he 
was now a national crossover success, which is what 
prompted Dooto, now a much slower moving entity, to 
cep up packaging Foxx material. This is an 
unremarkable, but nonetheless, typically hilarious slab 
of vinyl. Itcertainly wasn't a contemporary recording 
at the time, however. (EG) 
At His Best (MFI/RF 5, 1968) This album is more one- 
liner driven than some of Foxx's other recordings - with 
the usual focus on race and sex. A portion of the 
recordings were made in San Francisco, and Foxx takes 
his jabs - conducting the audience in "Row, Row, Row 
Your Boat” - “first, the ladies...now, the men...now, the 
| others.” He also asks, "What is the difference between 
| Cheerios and Queerios? They don't sell Queens - they 
just eat each other." In his story segments, Foxx 


B delivers recollections of a stripper who did a hard split 


(“took 45 minutes to break the suction") to his recycled 
“broken hand” tale to movie roles for Blacks. This 
album also includes Foxx's gem, "The Horse Race” 
(A/K/A “The Race Track’). But it's one-liners that 
drive the record. “What's the difference between a 
pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches 
watches." One line brings race and sex together in 
Foxx eloquence: "I don't care what color you are - 
when you go home and put the light out, it becomes a 
matter of who washed." (DL) 

Doin’ His Own Thing (MF/RF 6, 1968) A typical MF 
record - - badly recorded stuff, likely done at the Redd 
Foxx club (where I'd guess he set up a raggedy, but 
permanent, recording system), and a ton of jokes he’s 
told on previous records. Aside from “At Home” 
which proudly displays the Foxx Club at night, the first 
few batches of MF LPs all have the same cover (a 
cartoon/photo portrait designed by Redd himself) in 
different color variations, by the wav. (EG) 

Say lt Like It Is (MFI/RF 7, 1968) A good portion of the 
album is typical Foxx hokum - from couples tallying 
bedroom setbacks to requests of dying winos to feeling 
up Long Island ducks to riding the preacher's wife's 
ass. Some of the jokes are pretty familiar-sounding...or 
at least quite predictable. But a segment on side two is a 
pointed commentary on the plight of Blacks in the mid- 
1960s. Foxx recalls the story of a black man found in a 
Mississippi pond with more than 600 pounds of chains 
around him. “And the sheriff who investigated said, 
‘ain't it like a negro to steal more chains than he can 
carry.” Just as sharp was Foxx relating a helicopter 
flight by LBJ over the Okefenokee swamp. “He saw 
two white men in a Criss-Craft pulling two black men 
on water skis behind them.” As Foxx tells it, the 
president flies down to congratulate them for doing 
their part for integration. After LBJ takes off. says 
Foxx, “one of them turned to the other and said, ‘I don’t 
know who that tall guy was, but he sure don't know 
nothing ‘bout crocodile hunting.'” (DL) 

Is Sex Here To Stay (MFIRF 8, 1968/Encore CD) 
Farmers daughter, naughty preachers and other well 
wom maternal gets the Foxxy treatment. Raw, and not 
one of his best, but how bad is that? (EG) 

Where It’s At (MF/RF 9, 1968) Have I mentioned that 
most of the MF records have a Foxx drawn cover with 
a pghoto of his head attached to a cartoon body with a 
fancy jacket and clutching a cigarette? Well, have you 
heard this one? “What do you call a sissy in the deep 
South? A homosexua-awl” (sounds like y'all) How 
about “How does a French girl hold her liquor... by the 
ears!” (EG) 

Huffin And A Puffin (MFIRF 10, 1968)Like all MEF 
records, not the top recordings, but :t still contains this 
“quickie”: “A girls legs are her best friends, but even 
the best of friends must part." (WT) 

f Am Curious Black (MFI/RF 11, 1968) This album 
suffers from two things - first, a disjointed flow - 
segments of recordings from at least three shows 
(Chicago, Los Angeles, and perhaps New York) are 
lumped together. Second, the audience at the first two 
shows wasn't very responsive. “Don't make me come 
out and cut one of y'all,” he challenges one group. The 
toptcs range from tight capri pants to Foxx’s 
experiences in the boxing ring and in the military (he 
notably avoided any commentary on Vietnam) to “Fuge 
Soap” to driving drunk to a “what if” scenario in 
nuclear war - the three integration scenarios are even 
More curious in hindsight: one has the three survivors as 


20 


Rock Hudson, Lena Horne, and Dorothy Kilgallen; 
another has Liberace, Johnny Mathis, and Sonny Liston. 
In addition to homosexuals, Foxx also takes shots at 
Puerto Ricans and fellow “negros.” But he lands a good 
dirty one-liner at the start of side 2. “Did you ever stop 
to think that if the Pilgrims hunted bobcats instead of 
turkeys we'd be eating pussy for Thanksgivin g?” (DL) 

Three Or Four Times A Day (MF/RF 12, 1969 Encore 
5008-2) “Some guy wrote in a magazine, ‘All Negros 
carry knives.” That's a lie, my brother’s been ca tag 
an icepick for twenty years.” And Redd told that joke 
for twenty years. (WT) 

Mr. Hot Pants (MF/RF 13, 1969) Despite being one of 
his best titles, this is one of his unfunniest records. 
Note: This may give some insight into the screwy bulk 
release schedule of MF. Some copies of this and the 
next release, “Hot Flashes” have the labels and covers 
screwed up, so the right record is in the sleeve, but with 
the wrong label glued to it. Since there were no track 
listings it didn’t matter much(EG) 

Hot Flashes (MF/RF 14, 1969) This moming I[ had a 
huge stack of Foxx records to listen to and this is the last 
one in the stack. Had it been the first I might be more 
chatty, but at this point let me just say that a stack of 
Foxx records has the same effect as a hit of acid, This 
one is typical of his MF catalogue in spotty quality, but 
if takjen correctly it invokes a Dali painting. (EG) 

Up Against The Wall (Wamer Bros.-Seven Arts/WS 
1771, 1969) First joke: a fairly long one about an 
elderly couple sitting in their home, frail and sickly, 
listening to a faith healer on the radio, who asks his 
audience to lay one hand on a body part that needs 
fixing. The wife lays one hand on the radio and the 
other on her heart, gently singing “Wade In The 
Water." The husband lays one hand on the radio and 
the other on his crotch, loudly singing "Wade In The 
Water.” The wife shoots back, “He sez he can HEAL, 
not raise the dead!" Best joke: about the travelling 
preacher in town for a revival meeting. After spending 
a few days at the home of one of the sisters, he praises 
her with big, five-dollar words that she can't quite 
understand. In her own colorful way, she replies: "You 
are a real world beater, a strong repeater, you can do it 
neater and more completer with less peter than any 
preacher ever been here.” After wading through 
several small label albums on Dooto, this has to be one 
of the better-recorded Redd Foxx albums out there, 
without all that cheap echo that caused his voice to float 
to the ceiling. Side one is devoted primarily to unlikely, 
drawn-out shaggy-dog stories, but it's worth it to get to 
the punchlines---only Redd Foxx could maintain your 
interest that long. The shorter jokes dominate side two- 
--"sign in the cat house window: out to lunch. Beat 
it!",..two gays about to leave a bar: “Let's blow this 
joint!" "Okay, you take the women..." As rock writer R. 
Meltzer once pointed out, on the jokes where no one 
laughs (“this isn't poetry, it's more prose...and cons..."), 
he doesn't resort to are-you-out-there-I-can-hear-you- 
breathing gags like most of those old vaudevillians 
would, he just presses on to the next joke. Either this 
was a brave move on Foxx's part to expose his failures, 
or maybe someone at Wamers wasn't paying attention. 
He also gets in a great bit about southern dialects 
towards the end of the first side (no, the tracks are not 
banded or titled). The liner notes, written by one 
"Michael Jackson"(!), play off of what we'd now call 
baby-boomer nostalgia: "Those of you who listened to 
him ten years ago, behind closed doors and hoping your 
parents wouldn't find out, have grown up. It is your duty 
to pass the word along: that the Foxx is alive and well 
and better than ever.” The copy I'm reviewing has a 
bonus set of liners, a personal note scribbled on the 
inner sleeve: “"Honey---Play this album on headphones 
you'll like it wake me around 6:00-6:30--Frankie. PS. 
One ts already on - it's good.” (JP) 

Jokes | Can’t Tell On Television (Dooto/DTL 845, 
1969) This could have been called “Jokes I've Been 
Telling Since Before They invented Television.” Note 
that this isn’t a Sanford cash in (yet) but a reference to 
Redd’s breaking through to the Tonight Show and 
daytime talk show circuit. (EG) 

Shed House Humor (Dooto/846, 1969) Even the cover 
is recycled here, from the “Burlesque Humor” LP. But 
if you thought Dootsie Williams was gonna run out of 
material, hold onto your hat, because in a few years 
he’s gonna do so much recycling that he deserves an Al 
Gore Enviormentalist award. (WT) 

Favorite Party Jokes (Dooto DTL 847, 1969) This gem 
opens with a limenck: “There was a young lady named 
Ransom/Who was loved three times in a hansom/When 
she asked for more, she heard a voice from the 
Noor/My name is Simpson, not Samson.” With that 





poem Redd had successfully conquered every field of 
humor save the cut-in record. (JA) 

Restricted (MF/RF 15, 1970) Redd does achieve levels 
of nastiness and profanity that he pussyfooted around in 
the 50s and early 60s, but for the most part he sounds 
more tired than inspired here. (WT) 

Bare Facts (King/KSD 1072, 1970) Foxx found himself 
at the outset of the decade that would bring him into the 
mainstream on the home of James Brown, King 
Records. Of course, King also had a Country division, 
and as far as I can figure, their previous experience 
with releasing comedy records (other than a Kermit 
Shaffer “Bloopers” album) was with Homer and Jethro, 
the Weird Al Yankovics of the Hillbilly set. Lack of 
expenence didn’t hurt, though, as they did these albums 
nght, meaning wrong! By that I mean, they followed 
the Dooto model, quantity over quality! Three LPs 
were released like lightning, they were recorded 
budget mindedly in Foxx’s own (rowdy, awesome) 
Redd Foxx Club, and in a move abandoned by Dooto 
early, they were willing to put nearly naked people on 
the covers. Consequently, this is one of his funniest 
albums in years. All hail the KING! (WT) 

Pass The Apple Eve (King/KSD 1073, 1970) Classic 
cover with a half naked Foxx and a half naked lady in 
caveman clothes (you know, Adam = and 
Eve...cavemen?) with Redd holding a huge club you 
know where. He opens with, “I work in Las Vegas, | 
see whites sitting out in the sun half the day trying to get 
some color...[ need sun like Custer needed one more 
Indian...when you go home and put the light out there's 
no color...it becomes a matter of who washed.” Andon 
the less peaceful tip, “(People always say) Don’t call 
me no Negro, don't cal! me black, don’t call me no 
nigger, don’t call me colored. I don’t give a damn what 
you call me, just don’t put your hands on me. It’s hard 
to apologize drawing your knife from someone's 
throat.” (EG) 

fn A Nutshell (King/KSD 1074, 1970) This record 
contains a clue as to why Redd's audiences laugh at 
anything. At one point he asks the time and the 
response is “14 minutes to 2." (Of course he responds 
with a zinger, “Do we have a white opimon?”) First 
Joke: “Whatchoo fellas doin’ here? Why don't you go 
about a mile down, where all the broads are butt- 
nekkid?" (Male Voice: “Later!*) “Oh, you're going 
there later? Surprising, you don't stop there first, while 
they were fresh! You'll have to wear your gas mask 
when YOU get there!" Best Joke: I was there, in 
W.W.IL...One enemy threw a hand grenade, it 
exploded and tore my face away.....A team of doctors 
grafted skin, grafted some more skin, made me a new 
face. I don't know where they got the meat from, but 
every time [ get tired, my JAWS wanna sit down!” 
Runners ups: "Jews didn’t kiil Jesus, Black people 
BEGGED him to death.” "GOT to hate something! I 
hate a goddamn midget AND okra! I catch a midget 
eatin’ okra, I'll put my foot in his ass!". (JB) 

Special DJ. Programming Album Rated A-OK for 
Airplay (King/K-RF-10 Promotional, 1970) You can't 
biame them for trying, can you? In the pre Howard 
Stern era, not much chance, though. (WT) 

Matinee Idol (King/KS-1135, 1971) Recorded at the 
(by the release of this record, burt down) Redd Foxx 
club (he makes lots of jokes about the white and black 
sections...the black up front) this album, though it still 
features some 50s jokes, was definitely a new (at the 
time) recording. We know this because he says, “Shit” 
a lot (“I'm 48...shit, Pil feel like a damned fool standing 
up in this hole and saying ‘Doo doo!’") There's 
ludicrous piano accompaniment, and whenever Redd 
talks about the Chinese (which he does with a lot of 
vehemence: “I told the waiter...come here Ping Pong, 
should | eat this...or did 17") the pianist plays ridiculous 
Chinese stereotype melodies. Some interesting gems: 
~A woman sees her husband coming out of the flonst, 
she tells her girlfried, ‘He’s got three dozen roses, I’m 
gonna have to keep my legs up in the air three days.’ 
Her girlfriend says, ‘Why don’t you get a vase?’ 
“Jesus knows you're in here drinking...he can see 
through the ceiling like Clark Kent.” “If you don't 
believe there's lazy, white niggers watch ‘Hee Haw!” 
The Eminen line about ‘How you gonna breast feed me 
mom, you ain't got no tits?’ is almost verbatim from this 
record. Perhaps my all time favonte Redd joke: “Little 
boy comes back from school and says ‘Mommy I can 
spell!’ Mother says ‘Honey, you've only been in 
school one day, but go ahead.’ He says °F!" Mother 
says, ‘Oh no, don’t tell me some dirty... taught my boy 
that dirty word already. I know what's coming,’ she 
says ‘Go ahead honey,’ He says ‘U!" She says *F-U...1 
know what it is, How can people be so rotten, go ahead 


honey.’ He says ‘C!" ‘Oh heavens F-U-C, it’s gotta be 
the word! Go ahead and finish it, get it over with!’ He 
says ‘F!' Mother says (relieved) ‘F.U-C-F?... That's 
wonderful honey, what does it spell?’ “FUCK!” 
Notably, these post Dooto LPs are the first to really 
have “shit” and the very spare “Fuck” on them. Not 
the total barrage of nasties let loose on his later 
masterpiece, You Got To Watch Your Ass, but a long 
way from the entire joke being that he was almost 
getting away with cursing (Fugg soap, anyone?). He 
jokes about hiding money from the government, thus the 
IRS might have heard this album. I love the cover of 
this, a still of him as Uncle Bud from “Cototn Comes To 
Harlem,” looking thoughtful. (JA) 

Sanford and Son (RCA/LPM-4739, 1972) Much like the 
successful All in The Family LPs this is actual dialogue 
from the soundtrack of the TV show. Awesomely, it 
also features Quincy Jones’ amazing theme song. Most 
of the audio comes from the first few episodes, which 
makes sense. Usually pilots and early shows are 
awkward, but Sanford and Son’s case the earlier 
episodes are far better written and much more time has 
been spent on them. Lots of hilarious stuff, but one of 
my fave routines is about a hat Lamont gives as a gift. 
Lamont: See that F.S. on the sweatband? Fred: What's 
that? Lamont: What's that? That's your tnitials pop. 
what did you think it was? Fred: Well, it's on the 
sweatband, F.S. could have meant ‘For Sweatin’.”” 
“Lamont: (My fiancee’s) old man woks in the post 
office. He's in charge of a window. Fred: I bet he’s in 
charge of ail the windows, cleanin’ em!” There's also 
some “Fiddler On The Roof” jokes the Jewish writers 
were probably really into. Notably this record was 
pressed in “Dynaflex” vinyl... meaning cheap assed 
thin funny elastic vinyl, a real recording industry scam 
that didn’t last long. (JA) 

Sanford and Foxx (Dooto/DTL 853, 1972) First joke: 
"All you folks who applauded, I'd like to thank you from 
the bottom of my heart...if you didn't applaud, I'd like to 
wish you severe chest pains” Best joke: The fact that 
Dooto actually decided to release this lukewarm builshit 
to capitalize on Sanford & Son. Redd Foxx was known 
as the filthy, under-the-counter comedian whom kids 
used to sneak and listen to when their parents weren't 
in. Is it any wonder that the first record of his to make 
Billboard’s Top 200 album charts (#198)featured all- 
clean material, dredged up from the Dooto vaults? 
Lord, is this the best that label owner Dootsie Williams 
could do? Of course, the TV show helped, but you'd 
never know from Sanford & Foxx that this was the first 
man to use the word “nigger” on prime time TV, the 
matenal is so tame. It's not the fact that it's all non-dirty 
material that bothers me, it's just that (A) This fact is 
only mentioned in passing in the liner notes, and (B) 
You don't have to use cuss words to be funny, but these 
jokes just don't have any edge. On this LP, Redd comes 
off as just another hack comedian, rhapsodizing about 
funny things that happened on the way to the theater. 
Advising young men on how to get over with the ladies, 
Redd offers this solution: "Candy is dandy but liquor is 
quicker.” And that's the joke, foiks! Even in the fifties 
(when this must have been recorded), this probably 
sounded tried, tested and tired, although the laughing 
audience obviously disagreed with me. The continuity 
is weird...during “Television,” he brings up his 
(imaginary) son Rodney, and on the next track (“Xmas 
Hardtimes") he intros Rodney again, as if we didn’t hear 
him the first time. I guess Dooto wanted this out on the 
market so quick, they didn't stop to think how one joke 
would flow into the other. Speaking of continuity and 
flow, the jokes have these boss 50's striptease R&B 
instrumentals playing behind them, with the song titles 
listed on the back ("You Got Me Reeling.” “Tonky 
Honk,* "How Can I Go On,” "Booze Blues," “So 
What")---was this South Central saxman (and Dooto 
artist) Chuck Higgins? The LP begins with one of these 
instros, over which a voice intones: “INTRODUCING 
SANFORD & FOXX BY REDD FOXX!" You Also 
Get: a classy red-and-orange cover featuring a painting 
of Fred Sanford and Redd Foxx giving each other the 
evil eye; a fine-print back cover disclaimer that none of 
the material was taken from the TV show; and an ad 
for other $5.99 elpees in the Dooto catalog, including 
Richard & Willie (foulmouthed ventsloquist,act, not to 
be confused with Willie Tyler & Lester), Rudy Ray 
Moore (early stuff repackaged, ala Sanford & Foxx); 
Scatman Crothers (all jokes, no songs); and Forbidden 
Black Tales by the Third World Theater (Dooto's 
answer to the Last Poets?). (JP) 

And All That Jazz (Dooto/85-4, 1972) Another obvious 
repackaging to cash in on Sanford success. The 
drawing on the cover of an old raggedy man must have 


21 


confused peole who heard the young guy on the vinyl. 
At this point Foxx has become a superstar on TV, so 
anyone with access to Foxx recordings lets loose with 
quantity and quickness. (WT) 

The Best of Redd Foxx (Longines/DW-94409/MF 101, 
1972) This is stuff they already released (I think it's 
from “At His Best” but cheaply repackaged (in a B&W 
cover layed out on a xerox machine) as “America’s 
Newest TV Star” and “Rated G-General Audiences.” 
And the G stands for, ‘you’re a Goddam fool if you 
think this is appropriate for general audiences, sucka. 
(EG) 

The Very Best of Redd Foxx (MF 102, 1972) More of 
the same, but with amore professional looking red and 
white (as opposed to black and white) cover. Way to 
reinvest!(EG) 

The Best of Redd Foxx (Quality {Ontano}/sv 1879, 
1972) This record is most notable for cashing in on 
Sanford by being (as it states boldly and hugely on the 
cover) “Rated G-For General Audiences.” Tamer 
(though still harsh and suggestive) Dooto stuff like 
“Childless Couples” and “War Veterans” abound. 
Same as Best of (Longines/MF 101) I think. (EG) 

The Best of Redd Foxx Vol. 2 (Quality {Ontano}/sv 
1899, 1972) This is the same as MF 102, “The Very 
Best of...” (EG) 

Dirty Redd (Dooto/858, 1973) Weirdest cover of them 
all. Redd appears to be dressed a Snidely Whiplash in a 
top hat, handlebar moustache and a cape, but it appears 
to be doctored, so maybe he never posed like this 
What the hell is going on? Super oldies including 
“Jackass” and “Mother Frockers. (WT) 

Funky Tales From A Dirty Old Junkman (Dooto/DTL 
860/1974) Yet another repackaging of decades old 
material made to fit in with the Sanford and Son 
success. If you have a half dozen Dooto records, 
you've likely heard most of this material before. (WT) 

Superstar (MF/RF 16, 1974) First Joke: A guy came 
into a nightclub one night, he was in the bar, he had 
about 14, 20 drinks, and he got half-drunk(!). He said, 
"If the furniture business don't get no better, I'm gonna 
lose my ass!" Bartender leaned over and said, “Look, 
buddy, this is a respectable place, you don't use that 
language in here. We have ladies sitting around the bar 
and at the tables having a few cocktails, don't say that in 
here!" A little while passed, he had three or four more 
drinks, he said, “If the furniture business don’t get no 
better, I'm gonna lose my ass!" Bartender grabbed him, 
walked him outside, and a chick jumped down from the 
bar and said, “Why are you putting him outside? His 
business is almost like mine! If the ASS business don't 
get no better, I'm gonna lose my FURNITURE!!" Best 
Joke: There was a guy, worked in an office building. 
He came out of the restroom, he had a key, you 
know...most of 'em don't have a key. He had the key, 
he was walking back to his office, and his secretary 
said, "Your front door is open.” He looked all around, 
hell, he didn't know what she was talkin’ about, so, he 
backed up, and she said, “Your front door is open,” so 
he says, "Ohhhh! How awful...Tell me, when you saw 
it, did you see that West Pointer standing at attention?” 
She said, "Hell, not I saw a disabled veteran sittin’ on 
two duffel bags!" (JB) 

Spice Can Be Nice (MF/RF 17, 1974/CD Encore 5004, 
1999) The CD version combines stuff with the Laff Your 
Ass Off record. Redd sounds a little tired and it’s not the 
most electric audience. Nonetheless, he manages to be 
the most offensive he can be quick, getting gays. 
Chinese, women, and little people offended in minutes. 
“There was a queer going to the chair, the warden said, 
‘What's your last request’ “Can I blow the fuse.’ 
Confucius once said (in Chinese voice), ‘Impossible to 
rape woman, woman run much faster with dress up 
than man with pants down...of course, that was before 
the zipper.” “If it's anything I hate it's a goddam 
midget. I understand hate, you must hate something. 
Don't fight a midget unless you've done some previous 
midget fighting cause if a midget bites you, you in 
trouble!” (EG) 

Strictly For Adults (MF/RF 18, 1974) I would like to 
note that MF Records has some MFing badly recorded 
records! That said, this baby (with a Sanford inspired 
cover) contains these nuggets: “What's a bar stool? 
What Davy Crockett stepped in!” “Hey baby, how do 
you get into those tight pants? You could try buying me 
a dnnk.’” (EG) 

Black ‘n’ Blue (MF/RF 19, 1974) More really badly 
recorded MF stuff. (EG) 

Elizabeth I’m Coming (MF/RF 20, 1975) Can you say 
“Cash in?” There are absolutely nothing here you 
haven't heard before...or maybe it just seems that way. 
(EG) 


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Redd 7§ (MF/RF 21, 1975) An especially crappy 
sounding LP, with some average material. “Do you 
know what a humdinger is? A girl who starts to hum 
every time she sees a dinger.” (EG) 

Best Of Redd Foxx (Royalty Tapes/X-65, 19757) This 
8-Track broke while | was listening to it, but I was 
laughing when it broke. (EG) 

You Gotta Wash Your Ass (Atlanti/ SD 18157, 1975) 
First joke: "Thank you very much if you applauded for 
me...if you didn’t applaud, [ hope your dog dies!" Best 
joke: Throw a dart and you'd pick one, but I'll go with 
the title track: “If you're here today with someone you 
love, be considerate of your mate. Care. Worry about 
their feelings. The most important thing you must do in 
a romance or love affair---when you love someone, 
YOU GOT TO WASH YOUR ASS. I dont mean your 
whole ass, | mean your ASS HOLE!" The fun starts 
before you put the album on, and I mean that literally. 
First, there's that infamous cover, with Redd standing 
next to a horse's rear end while holding up the tail. The 
title is printed on the right, effectively censoring the 
horse’s asshole, and Redd is making one of those 
contorted, squinty-eyed faces he'd use on Sanford & 
Son whenever he was confronted with a bad smell or 
an ugly woman. And then, on the back, the joke titles 
are so efxplicit they nearly spoil the punchlines, but 
only Wesley Willis' entire catalog equals You Gotta 
Wash Your Ass as far as humorous track listings go. 
Dig: “Economy Is Bad---Nigger Tried To Rob Me 
Night Before Last,” "Ugly Kids In New York,” "I Said 
S---", "Think Back When You Were Tellin’ Those 
Nigger Stories,” "A Hog Ain't No Uglier Than A Cow,” 
"Let Me Stop Foolin’ Around And Start My Act,” 
“Threw Up In The Face Bowl,” "You Gonna Feel Like 
A Fool Dyin’ In The Hospital For Nothin'’,” “Cancer 
Better Not F--- With My Body”---get the picture? Stil, 
you need to hear this album, because Redd’s delivery is 
on the one! The cover blurb tells us that this is Redd’s 
first LP in twelve years (conveniently forgetting the 
albums on Wamer Bros. and King and MF that came in 
between). And although Redd is considered the 
granddaddy of dirty comedy albums, it should be noted 
that up until now, he had been cruising by on sheer 
innuendo. It took (first) Rudy Ray Moore and (then) 
Richard Pryor to introduce balls-out cuss words on 
albums---Redd, being the guy who more or less moved 
black comedy out of the vaudeville era, wasn't about to 
let any younger generations pass him by. For starters, 
he didn't record this at some sedate supper club in Los 
Angeles---instead, he did this one at the far rowdier 
Apollo Theater in New York. I'd guess that between 
this fact and the changing times, he's now referring 
openly to what he used to hint at, throwing around 
words like "nigger" and “shit" as if he invented them. 
As legend has it, the Apollo audience isn't exactly the 
most polite, so six tracks here are labeled “Hecklers--- 
Audience Participation,” and Redd never lets the crowd 
get the last word: “you look as beautiful now as you did 
in 1941," “rest your lips because you got a long night 
ahead of you,” etc. At one point, someone in the 
audience makes a reference to his TV son: "Where's 
Lamont?" Redd: “At your mammy's!* And he must be 
the only person who could stand onstage at the Apollo 
and conduct a sing-along on “Row Row Row Your 
Boat": "SING ALONG, GODDAMMIT!!!" Elsewhere, 
he tells various noisy audience members to go "Hut A 
White Act,” calming them down by ordering them to 
"Put Your Spear Back." He does a great discourse on 
the word “shit,” and he also riffs on the changed 
meaning of the word "funky”*: "When I was a kid, funky 
didn't have anything to do with music! Funky was 
grandma's bloomers! Funky was grandpa's long 
draws...with the nicotine stain in the back...when he had 
sneezed and got snuff in ‘em...that was funky!" And 
there are times when you can just see him making that 
squinty face on the cover, when he tosses off lines like 
"ug-leee,” “sheecit,” "gat-DAMN!,” “funkehbh!” One 
line about interracial romance cut so deep, it made the 
"Words Of The Week" column in Jet: “I LOVE black 
women. You see me with a white woman, I'm holdia' 
her for the po-lice! ‘Course, I'm no idiot---I prefer 
Raquel Welch over (then N.Y. congresswoman) 
Shirley Chisholm!” Some people point out that Redd 
Foxx At Home is the elpee where he breaks loose from 
the stale nightclub jokes and comes on with full-steam 
vitriol, but my vote goes toward Wash Your. This is the 
bitter, scratchy-voiced junkman we got to know through 
Sanford & Son not those Dooto LP's that exploited the 
TV show. In the early seventies, there was a whole 
new invasion of comics that toyed with msque words the 
way late-60's musicians used to mess with notes and 
chords. Redd stepped back from the record-making 


22 


game, sized up the competition, then came out with one 
of his finest albums ever, reaching #87 on Billboard's 
LP charts, a place where Redd's appearances were 
precious and few. (JP) : f 
You Got To Wash Your Asspromo 7” (Atlantic 
EP/PR250, 1975) Programming teasers off the album. 
It’s the same on both sides. (WT) 

| Ain’t Lied Yet(Laff A 203, 1978/reissue 
Polygram/518842 1994) Laff Records found tapes 
somewhere, got rights somehow, and put out some 
fucked up LPs. That said, they were awfully dedicated 
to the cheapo novelty record market, and these aren’t 
of lower quality than many Foxx albums (though it 
seems they crank the echo on some of these, maybe a 
clue to the origins of the tapes...the microphone was 
hidden in Foxx’ liquor glass?) Poems, jokes and rants 
galore mark this one, and if you can laugh at the “pun” 
“Kiss Urass Goodbye” you will love this one. NOTE: 
Read James Porter's review of “I Ain’t Lied Yet!’ 
because apparently this is the same album.(WT) 
Uncensored (Laff A 210 1980/reissue Polygram 
528061) This was released around 1980 and the CD is 
from 1995...but I’m guessing by the Sugar Ray 
Robinson joke that it was an older recording, don't you 
think? “If the pilgrims and Indians had ate cat we'd all 
be eating pussy on Thanksgiving.” And I guess Joe 
Lewis lithsped. (JA) 

“World War Il,” “Hero Politics” biw “You've Got To 
Live Friends” (Gusto GT4-2252, 1981) King, the once 
respectable label that was the home of The Godfather 
of Soul eventually ended up in the slippery hands of the 
Gusto label, masters of the truck stop knockoff cassette 
format. Thus, bigger shysters than previously (which is 
ASTOUNDING) had the Foxx legacy in their paws. 
This 45 is repackaging of ancient material (WWII 
jokes in the 80s?) they would release over the years, 
culminating in the ubiquitous “Live and Dirty” senes. 
This single was still being sold through their catalogue 
when Nirvana was at their peak, by the way. (HY, JA) 
X-Rated Volume I (King/Gusto, SK-751, 1982)This 
isn’t the mighty King of the past, but rather the 
knockoff label Gusto that prepared cheapos for truck 
stops and instant cut out type bins in 5 and dimes. This 
all seems to be late 60s/early 70s material, so at least 
it’s not from £956, give them that much credit. (WT) 
X-Rated Volume 2 (King/Gusto, SK-752, 1982) See 
Volume | 

X-Rated Volume 3 (King/Gusto, SK-753, 1982) See 
Volume 1 

X-Rated Volume 4 (King/Gusto, SK-754, 1982) First 
Joke: Last week a guy wrote in to a magazine saying 
black prostitutes are filling the streets of Amenca...it’s 
true...because there’s so many $100 white tricks in the 
streets of America. Get them off the streets and our 
girls will come home and take $5 like they used to.” 
Another winner: An old woman tells her husband, 
“John you fly is open.” “Well if it wont get up it sure 
wont get out.” (EG) 

X-Rated Volume S$ (King/Gusto, SK-755, 1982) See 
Vol. 1 

X-Rated Volume 6(King/Gusto, SK-756, 1982) See Vol. 


| 
Everything’s Big (Laff A 228, 1983) First joke: "we ali 
set, folks, we want you to enjoy yourself, this is a 
colored place!" Best joke: see review of 1969's “Up 
Against The Wall.” Apparently, this is a revamped 
version of “Up Against The Wall.”” This wasn’t the first 
time the geniuses at Laff ripped off the bigwigs at 
arner Bros.---Richard Pryor's “Black Ben The 
Blacksmith” (one of Chris Rock's favorite LP's!) 
borrowed liberally from oot only Pryor's self-titled 
debut on Warner's sister label Reprise (1969), but his 
interludes from the Wattstax soundtrack as well. The 
difference is that Laff did a better editing job with 
Foxx’'s album, and there's even some racier bits that I 
don’t remember from the Warners album (like that 
throwaway line about composer Stephen Foster being a 
"fag"). In typical tacky Laff fashion, the cover was the 
usual flea-market portrait by Rhonda Voo (sometimes 
ID'ed as “Rhonda Klapper®---she's not identified here at 
all, but I've seen enough Ala/Laff covers to know her 
work). On the front, Redd is drawn nestled between a 
woman's breasts, looking bappy to be there. On the 
back, he's being squashed by those same mammaries. 
This cover makes that black velvet “nude woman" 
portrait that Fred Sanford's buddy Grady bought for his 
daughter and son-in-law on Sanford & Son look like 
Mona Lisa. And, when it first hit the marketplace, the 
price was just as cheap: $5.99! This wasn't on a sticker, 
mind you, this was printed right on the jacket as part of 
the art! Did Foxx ever see a cent frem this? And even 
though the Wamers version was better engineered, 





Laff's edition has that same “fuzzy bootleg” quality that 
defined Foxx's old Dooto sides. If you live in Chicago, 
be aware that the Jazz Record Mart has thousands of 
sealed copies of this album, pnced to move at $2.99-- 
despite the tacky trappings, “Everything's Big” is a 
bargain on any label, recommended for has of killer 
comedy. This is apparently the same material as “I 
Ain't Lied Yet,” by the way.(JP) 

Live In 85 (Reddy Freddy RF Ot, 1985) Between TV 
shows and starting to get into financial trouble, this was 
hopefully a means to generate some income. Raw and 
gruff as you'd expect, with his spirit not yet completely 
broken, Redd is not in top form here. This is the only 
moderately funny Redd seen on the “Plain Brown 
Wrapper” video. I assume Reddy Freddy was a label 
he put out himself, because the single he released on 
the tail of this was a vanity project if ever there was 
one.(WT) 

“Tui Fruitti” biw "Pussy Footin'" (Reddy Freddy 
0145, 1985) If Redd had lived long enough to see the 
swing/lounge revival, and then released this record, he 
would have had a whole new audience waiting for him. 
Then again, Milt Trenier is on a similar musical trip, 
and his Chicago club was forced to close nght when 
that trend was gaining speed, three years ago, so who 
knows? Anyway, now that all the trendies ditched their 
swing dance lessons for salsa, this single sounds good 
no matter what the new phase is. First, "Tutti Fruitti* is 
not the Little Richard/Pat Boone wailer but an older 
tune written by Slim Gaillard and Doris Fisher. Second, 
both songs (Redd himself wrote the B-side, which is not 
as naughty as the title suggests) aren't the more frantic 
jump-blues he was doing thirty years before, but rather 
more conventional jazz with a blues tint, somewhere 
between Joe Williams and Jimmy Witherspoon. His 
voice had grown more gravelly over the years---all that 
nightlife was starting to tell on him---but he could still 
project at the mic with a raw authority that can't be 
bought. (However, his jokes were starting to lose their 
bite, as evidenced by a live video released around this 
time.) Redd is all up in that microphone with a peculiar 
fervor (you can hear him spitting out his consonants), 
and the A-side has nice leisurely piano and sax solos. In 
addition, there's a tasty guitar on "Pussy Footin'’...Herb 
Ellis, is that you? (Herb was featured on that Christmas 
1975 Sanford & Son, playing guitar as Redd sang Mel 
Torme's “Christmas Song,” a/k/a "Chestnuts Roasting On 
An Open Fire.") Although Jet ran a bref blurb on this 
lost classic when released, this 45 fell through the 
cracks and, realistically speaking, probably sounded 
dated by jazz standards, let alone the pop/soul world. 
This wasn't going to unseat “We Are The World” from 
the charts, but in terms of pure aesthetic musical worth, 
Redd came out in the lead. (JP) 

Live & Dirty Vol. 1 (Richmond/2152, Cassette, 1994? 
CD 1995) The most easy to find and cheapest senes of 
available Foxx recordings are the Live and Dirty 
casseties (CDs, too, but I’ve never seen those). 
Available at every truck stop in Amenica, these bad 
boys were all “Recorded Live In An LA Nightclub” (I 
assume the Redd Foxx Club” due to the crappy 
recording) and feature cheapo graphics, photos that 
range from the 50s thru the 80s and always less than 28 
minutes of material. They're all kinda funny, but I like 
this one the best. (WT) 

Live & Dirty Vol. 2 (Richmond/2162, Cassette 1994?, 
CD 1995) This one features Sanford era Fred on the 
cover, but subtract a decade or so for the recording (I 
think). The worst part of these ts that if you buy it at the 
truck stop for a road trip they're over before you use a 
1/4 tank of gas. So buy at least 4 volumes at each stop. 
(WT) 

Live & Dirty VoL 3 (Richmond/2174, Cassette 19947, 
CD 1996) Non-pork eaters, Mexicans, Custer and the 
unfortunately named Oral Roberts are Foxx’ victims 
this time around, and he posits why he shoulda been 
president. Couldn't have been much different than Bill. 
(WT) 

Live & Dirty Vol. 4 (Richmond/2178, Cassette 1994?, 
CD 1996) There's some Dooto era jokes her but I'm 
pretty sure these are from the Redd Foxx club in the MF 
era or later. Sull, if anyone was doing Eisenhower and 
Adam Clayton Powell jokes too late it woulda been 
Foxx! (WT) 

Live & Dirty Vol. 5 (Richmond/2245, Cassette 19947, 
CD 1996) This cheapo features 25 or so minutes of 
chuckles on such subjects as black inventors, white 
women and Nicaragua. And pimps. (WT) 

Live & Dirty VoL 6 (Richmond/2274, Cassette 19947, 
CD 1996) More of the same.(WT) 

Live At The Apollo (Jewel/Paula/Sue) This truck stop 
tape has perhaps my fave truck stop knockoff cover 


art...an almost Warner Brothersesque cartoon 
illustration (WT) 

The Best Of Redd Foxx (Truck Stop/TSP 31, 1995) As 
you may guess, this is not actually a “Best Of” but just 
one average nightclub performance, with piano 
accompaniment and a modest, buzzed audience. If 
you're an easily offended Chinese, Indian, Mexican, 
Pilgrim or one legged whore you might wanna avoid 
this one. (WT) 

The Best of Redd Foxx(Good Time Productions, 
1996?) This is the same thing as the Truck Stop CD with 
slightly different packaging. Note that despite 20 track 
listings, only 1 tack on your CD player shows up. (WT) 
The Best Of Redd Foxx (Capitol, 34657, 1997) This 
sounds like it’s from the mysterious Laff sources, which 
is funny, seeing how a major label is getting the 
cheapest recordings. The famed “Mother Frockers & 
Cork Soakers” convention joke is here, as well as other 


gems. 

Best Of Redd Foxx: Comedy Stew (Columbia/65107, 
1997) This is one of the few Best Of's that’s actually 
compiled of his better material from good records. 
Classics like “New Fugg,” “Jackasses,” and some 
prime cannibal jokes are the highlights. (WT) 

Very Best Of Redd Foxx: Fugg It!! (Loud/1625, 1998) 
Good cover art and a great collection of Dooto stuff, 
with midget, pussy and Confucius jokes galore. (WT) 
Living On Credit (Encore, 1998?) Encore released 
CDs, with few notes and new cheapo ant, that features 
King and maybe MF and maybe Dooto matenal, it’s 
hard to tell. Like all Encore releases this one jumps 
decade to decade, ungracefully editing together parts 
of concerts from very differing eras. On one bit he'll 
say, “What the f...Aed[” but on another “No shit, folks.” 
Some stuff sounds like Dooto era and on some he 
references being in movies (so that would be the 70s). 
In fact, there’s a 5 minute segment that I heard appear 
on several other Encore CDs. Best jokes: “Laugh out 
loud, you're up North now.” “What’s the difference 
between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A 
pickpocket snatches watches...”’ (WT) 

Confucius (Encore 5021, 19987) Raucus crowd on 
some of this one, really rowdy and he’s with them. 
Like all Encore “reissues” this awkwardly pastes 
together several sessions, but the meat of this is a rawly 
recorded rowdy set from LA, I assume at Foxx’ own 
club. It's funny that the spare liner notes boast of 
“digitally remastered versions,” it couldn’ta sounded 
worse if it was taped on a Tonemaster cassette! He's 
not too kind to the gays on this one (Example: One says 
to another that he’s pregnant, the other responds (in 
Foxx fey voice) “Who's the father?” “How should | 
know, I don’t have eyes in the back of my head.” “St. 
Louis, bom and bred there...don’t know where I was 
buttered.” “You know what a humdinger is, that’s a 
girl who starts to hum everytime she sees a dinger.” he 
then starts his orgasmic humming and the crowd falls 
out. May not be the funniest Foxx release, but no doubt 
this captures a raw Foxx club expenence as well as 
any. (WT) 

Talking Trash (Encore International,1998?) This is 
about the 10th Encore CD I've listend to and I don’t 
think there was one segment I didn’t hear on all the 
other ones. They're budget priced though! (WT) 
Prejudice (Encore, 19987) More of the same for this 
budget reissues. By the way, I have no idea when these 
came out, or even if 1998 is a good guess. (WT) 

Too Hip For The Room (Encore 5021, 1998?) The 
encore releases take material from the MF releases and 
some earlier and jater sources, and arranges them in 
several minute segments to make CD length . I mention 
that especially with this one, because after listening to a 
bunch of their releases I think I've heard every minute 
of this CD broken up over the other dozen. Stl! some 
good stuff. “Only one thing kept. me out of 
college...high school!” “There were some rumors in 
the paper that I married my wife because her uncle 
died and left her $25,000 cash. I swear to you I would 
have marred her no matter who left it to her.” CWT) 
Whiutle, Fiddle and Diddle (Encore International 5008- 
2, 1998?) If you have a Jot of Redd Foxx records 
you've probobly heard every joke on this joke 
compilation, but they're still funnoy...with the extra 
bonus of hearing his voice go from nasal to gravel 
without warming. “You ever meet Wilt The Stilt? You 
got to meet him, it’s unbelievable. I stood up to shake 
his hand and looked him nght in the zipper. Too bad 
girls aren't that tall, it would make dancing better.” 
“Ever tell you about his chick, she had sneezes, almost 
like when you have hiccups, ternble. She went to the 
doctor and said, “Doctor I have these sneezes, and 
every time I sneeze I have a climax.’ He said, ‘Well 


23 


what are you doing about it?’ ‘Sniffing pepper...achoo, 
achoo, achoo.'” 

XX COMPILATIO P R 
American Comedy Box Set 1915-1994: Bui Seriously 
(Rhino/716!7, 1995) This box set runs the gamut from 
Andy Griffith's corny football routine nasty Redd Foxx 
and Pryor cuts. It runs the gamut from comics that think 
they're smart, but are dumb and unfunny (Capitol 
Steps) to the ostensibly dumb but brilliant Cheech and 
Chong. Overall four discs of amazing breadth. (WT) 
The Battle Of Sex (wiHattie Noel) (Dooto/DTL 836) 
This record is set up as a theoretical Battle between 
Hamttie Noel and Redd (of course they're not really 
head to head trading off jokes, but the concept is there). 
There was a point when Dooto claimed Hattie's LPs 
were outselling both Foxx and Moms Mabley, which is 
hard to believe. Noel, who performed with Eddie 
Cantor in an earlier era, has a Mabley-esque voice. 
with a little less gravel and a little more “oomph,” but 
doesn't have the Moms’ magic or timeing. As far as 
battling Redd, it's no contest. Not that Redd would hita 
lady.. (WT) 
The Best Party Fun aka Best of Fun (Dooto:DTL 274) 
A tired hooker on a strange piece of furniture with an 
empty champagne glass gives you a not too intriguing 
come hither look on the cover. The strangeness ain t 
hurt by the fact that she-has large stuffed rabbit with a 
champagne bottle seemingly acting as her pimp. The 
album features “Redd Foxx and other favorites™...1f 
Sloppy Daniels, Dave tumer asnd George Kirby are, in 
fact, your other favorites. Foxx, of course, wins the 
Battle of the Burlesque, with some of the bits off his 45s 
and an almost ready for TV “Beatmk Knight Of The 
Round Table” number. But George Kirby comes 
through with some impressive delivery and wnting. 
And Dave Tumer wears funny teeth. (WT) 
Comedy Classics (Era/BU 3890) Really funny stuff 
from Foxx, Dangerfield, Carlin, Abbott and Costello. 
Burns and Allen and more. (JA) 
Comedy Roots (w/Richard and Willie) (Laff 197, 1977) 
The Redd side includes such chestnuts as the tale of the 
lost Fakawi Indian tribe (“Where the Fakawi?’’) and 
R&W say “Nigger” a lot and comment on “Roots. © 
There is a pretty good Redd joke on this one about the 
nurse who got fired because she does every 
backwards. “She puts salt in the coffee, cream in the 
eggs. The doctor told her to prick a guy's boil.”’ (JA) 
Down and Dirty (w/Richard Pryor) (Laff 184, 1976) 
Like all Laff albums this has pretty inferior material, 
but nice low budget cover art of them as jokers in a 
black players poker hand. (WT) 
Dillinger Four/Pinhead Gunpowder split single (Adeline 
007/2000) The A side of this punk single features a 
Foxx sample between tracks, telling a crowd to “relax. 
get drunk tonight, throw up in a cab." 
Hooked On Comedy (Laff, 1981,) Simply genius: 
After Hooked on Classics and Stars On 45 had Disco- 
ish hits by making medleys of famous songs/pieces. 
Laff cashed tn with a dance record that set famous 
punchlines of their famous roster (Foxx included) to a 
disco beat. This ts the kind of forward thinking that got 
Laff on the charts in the 80s with Kip Adotta! (JA) 
The Journey Continues: Celebrate Black Music (1997) 
This 4 CD set is likely the only compilation featunng 
Foxx and Boyz I] Men and Method Man and the Dazz 
Band. (EG) 
Just For Laughs (w/Flip Wilson, Dick Gregory and Bill 
Cosby) (Scepter, 19727) Scepter did all kinds of weird 
compilations and this is no exception, but in retrospect 
its a pretty amazing sampling of divergent styles of 
popular Black comedy. (WT) 
Laughin’ At The Blues(w/Dusty Fletcher) (Savoy Jazz 
SJL E181, 1987) This presents for the first time on LP 
the Savoy Jump Blues tracks Foxx recorded in 46. 
They give him top billing and have nice young pictures 
of him, but most of the tracks are by Dusty “Open The 
Door Richard” Fletcher, and those are more straight 





comedy than Foxx’. Interesting to note on the Fletcher 
tracks, almost al! his material is about fairly horrifying 
subjects: abject poverty, extreme alcoholism, spousal 
beating, homicide and other rib ticklers. There's 
definitely lessons in the complexity of the Black comic 
tradition here, but that's for another discography. (JA) 
Legends of Comedy (Laff, reissued on Uproar/3666, 
1996) Basically, no one knows where Laff got the 
rights or found the material, but they had the B-list 
Foxx, Pryor, George Carlin and Rusty Warren tracks, 
and Slappy White and Lawanda Page stuff (which in 
some ways are their A matenal) stuff appears on this 
album as well. You wont feel like you got a great deal 
if you buy this at any price, but if you're a historian... 
(WT) 


Loose Cannon Comedy Classics Sampler (CD, wi! 
Richard Pryor) Laff material, with Pryor trax from 
“Supernigger,” and “Wizard of Comedy,” and some 
raw Foxx stuff. CWT) 
Pryor Goes Foxx Hunting (w/Richard PryorKLaff A 
170, 1975) Richard Pryor had ups and downs and on 
one of his downs he signed on with Laff, the cheapo 
label that tried to make a Rudy Ray out of Mantan 
Moreland. Pryor and Laff weren't on good terms for 
long, and when the smoked cleared he was out of a 
contract, so to speak, but they had the nights to release 
what they had on him any which way, including some 
of his worst, badly recorded and ancient material. 
They slapped this one together, and surprisingly Redd 
comes out way on top due to the crap on the Pryor cuts, 
Crappy Redd cuts are par for the course and he still can 
persevere. On the album cover Redd and Richard are 
gunos.(WT) 
Queer To The Core! (Quick Nuts/02-69, 1999) This 
underground bootleg CD reissues some interesting gay 
themed novelty and documentary records. It also 
features a very funny Redd Foxx routine where he tells 
the audience to yell out the names of celebrities and 
he'll tell them if they're gay or not. The audience yells 
out (bleeped) names [incidently, that’s the only bleeps 
you'll ever hear on a Redd record] avd Redd responds 
in a gravelly, deadpan, “Fag!” after each one. Then 
someone says, Redd Foxx,” to which he reponds, 
“Lesbian!” (WT) 
Redd and White (w/Slappy White) (LaffiA175, 1975) 
The cover art is a high school quality drawing (Redd’s 
drawings aren't high school quality...he never went to 
class in high school so he’s a bniliant ‘outsider artist’ as 
far as I'm concerned) and the joke quality ain’t gonna 
knock your socks off either. Though they're not 
actually together on this, it’s interesting that cheapo 
Laff would address the historical relationship between 
Foxx and White, two old time comrades. (WT) 
Redd Foxx and Slappy White (Encore/5005, 19997) I 
assume this CD is the preceding record, padded witb 
extra Foxx stuff. JA) 
Rock The House-The Birth Of Rock & Roll Vol 4 
(German import double CD) Features the Foxx Jump 
Blues number “Let's Wiggle A Little Woogie.” (WT) 
T.K. Kirkland Presents From Back In The Day: The 
Best Of Laff (Loud/ 1624, 1998) 
Back In The Day: Selections From The 
Repeat Relativity Releases (Loud) Redd, Lawanda and 
the great Mantan Moreland let loose with some of their 
best (worst?), and most ndiculous, material. The fact 
that this stuff is still available on a digital format in the 
21st century astounds me. But as Mantan would say, 
“That's not my finger!” The second title is a sampler 
from this that also has stuff from the “Fugg It" CD. (JA) 
Zingers From Hollywood Squares (Event EV 6903, 
1974) Jokes from celbrity contestants on Hollywood 
Squares include Foxx answering the question “Are most 
stolen cars recovered?” with the line “I had mine 
recovered in zebra,” (JA) 
FONXESQUE RECORDINGS 
Buck Clarke Quintet (Argo/LPS 4007, 1961) This 
features a musical tribute, in spelling at least, ‘Darben 
The Redd Foxx.” This track also appears on James 
Moody record.(EG) 
Citizens Bloopers (Commonwealth NU 9340/1977) If 
anything could be less funny than a CB radio themed 
comedy album, it would be a white person doing a Redd 
Foxx/Sanford imitation (His handle is “Junkey, because 
junk is the key to my buisness”) that has the punchline 
of Fred G. getting killed by a train. Ha. Ha. (JA) 
Moms Mabley “Onstage'\Chess 1447, 1961) 
Moms Mabley “I got somethin’ to tell you!” (Chess 
1479, 1963) Redd’s liner notes call her the “Funniest 
woman in the world!” He also points out that upside 
down “MOMS” is spelled “WOWS.” Very Foxxian 
logic. And he’s nght on all counts. (JA) 
Rudy Ray Moore - Does Jokes & Satire Made Famous 
By Redd Foxx (KenUKST-018, 19) The cover art 
features Roman columns with classical busts of Foxx 





and Dolemite both looking at a photo of Rudy. On the 
album Rudy “covers” some of Foxx’ famous Dooto 
routines, including “The Race Track,” “The Jack- Ass” 
and other Foxx faves. Obviously he doesn't have Foxx’ 
delivery or verbal dexterity on some of the wordplay 
stuff, but c'mon, give him credit for trying... 4 comedy 
cover album...a strange concept, indeed. (WT) 
Freeman and Murray °S'T™ (Laff, 19737) This was the 
interracial) comedy duo that were regulars on “Sonny 
and Cher.” Redd contributes liner notes. (WT) 
Ray Scott “The Prayer” (Checker, CK-3017, 1971) 
Ray Scott “The Prayer” 45 (Checker, 1971) Ray might 
not be a household name, but he had star time working 
for him here as his prayers he’s preaching on the album 
cover came true when Redd Foxx wrote material for 
him (particular the title single) and Andre “Mr. 
Rhythm” Williams produced! A little Foxx and Andre 
flavor prevails. (WT) 
Richard and Willie “The Race Track” (Dooto 848, 
1968) A cover of Foxx’ famous bit is the centerpiece of 
this LP by everyone's 2nd favorite black vebtriloquist 
act. 
Dap “Sugar” Willie “Dap Sugar Willie From North 
Philly” (Philadelphia International, 1976) Dap played 
Lenny the hustler on “Good Times," and he must have 
been on “Sanford and Son” at some point. This is an 
amazing record with “Sugar” doing stand up with a 
seriously solid funk band playing behind him. One fan 
of this record told me he’d hoped the band would put 
out an album without Mr. Willie. More importantly for 
us, there's, a nice photo of Foxx and Willie, plus Foxx’ 
liner notes, on the sleeve. (WT) 
BONUS FOXXESQUE RECORD: Billy Allyn “Earthy 
Myrth” (Dooto/DTL 826) Dooto actually had the nerve 
to advertise this as “Funnier than Foxx.”” No wonder 
Redd sued. 
BONUS CONFUSION BUSTER: Laff of the Party Vol. 
5 is Leroy “Sloppy” Daniels and Vol. 6 is Hattie Noel, 
that's why they're not in the Redd Records section 
FOXXY FILMS & VIDEOS 
Cotton Comes To Harlem (1970) Ossie Davis’ brilliant 
film ended up having more stylistically (although not 
financially) to do with birthing Blaxploitation than Sweet 
Sweetback Badass Song (which is usually credited as 
the daddy of the genre). A very funny, exciting and 
engaging adaptation of a Chester Himes novel, this 
movie beautifully utilizes both Harlem and Foxx. Redd 
plays Uncle Bud, a junk dealer tn the middle of some 
complicated wheelings and dealings, and this set the 
table for Sanford and Son. The final gag has way more 
to do with Rudy Ray Moore party records than Foxx 
party records, however.(JA) 
Norman Is That You? (1976) Re-released in a snazzier 
package recently, this movie available on video (and 
bizarrely shot on video...when exactly was that 
acceptable for a theatrical film?) tells the tale of Foxx 
discovering his son, played by Michael Warren, the 
UCLA baskethbal! star turned actor (Hill Street Blues, 
The Kid Who Loved Christmas) is queer as a three 
dollar bill. Lots of unsensitive jokes leading to a feel- 
good, “Gays OK!” ending. Based on a Broadway flop, 
this gem also stars Pearl Bailey, Waylon Flowers and 
his fag-hag puppet Madame, and for the heteros and 
drag queens alike, Blaxploitation amazon Tamara 
Dobson. (WT) 
Redd Foxx in A Plain Brown Wrapper aka “VIDEO IN 
A PLAIN BROWN WRAPPER"(1983) Two concerts of 
Redd in a strange suit doing strange, nasty jokes. He's 
on a big stage, with a giant crowd that’s totally on his 
side, and always the pro, Redd delivers, but I think it's 
fair to say that his spint is kinda broken by this point. 
The A&E Biography uses this for footage. Grayhog 
video announced plans to repackage and distribute this 
as “Redd Foxx-A Comedy Classic” in 2000. (WT) 
Dirty Dirty Jokes (1984) AKA “More Video In A Plain 
Brown Wrapper,” Foxx hosts such upstanding citizens 
as Andrew “Dice” Clay and Howard Stern's Jackie 
“The Joke Man” Martling. As many sex gags as can fit 
in an hour. (WT) 


Ghost of A Chance (1987) 1 believe this was a Made 
For TV movie before it hit video shelves, with Redd 
teaming with the always scary Geoffrey Holder and a 
pre-comeback Dick Van Dyke in the tale of an angel 
who has to eam his wings by helping the cop who shot 
him. Believe it or not, despite the plot, this 
onlyprecedes the King beating by a few years.(WT) 
Viva Shaf Vegas (1987) This rare one is, believe it or 
not, a comedy, vanety video vehicle for Paul Shaffer. 
Features guest star Foxx, and of course, an appearance 
by David Letterman. (WT) 

Talk of The Town-Show 2 (1988) Briefly on video, this 
nasty, blue talk show hosted by Gong Show perennial 
Jaye P. Morgan has Redd among the guests. (WT) 
Harlem Nights (1989) Written, produced and directed 
by Eddie Murphy, the only truly worthwhile moment in 
this thing is the one where Murphy, Foxx and Richard 
Pryor posed in gangster suits for a still. Bad, but Foxx 
and Della Reese had good chemistry which led Murphy 
to build a TV show, “The Roval Family,” around them. 
(WT) ; 

A Bob Hope Christmas & Bob Hopes Christmas With 
The Troops (19907) This video features highlights of 
Bob's 40 years of X-mas specials plus a Viet Nam X- 
mas review. It's nice to see Redd completely accepted 
in the most vanilla format ever. Of course, Foxx and 


Hope have a lot in common when you think about 
joke'punchline based comedy. (WT) 

Beer Commerciais Plus (19957) If you go to collector 
conventions or look for videos on e-bay you've likely 
run across this guys stuff. He specializes in 
compilations of theme commercials (cereal, for 
example) old music show clips and opening sequences 
from TV shows and cartoons. This volume has Redd’s 
Colt 45 ad...a classic by anyone's definition. (EG) 
Blacks In Blue Comedy (1996) 1 don't know if this 
documentary (which played at the 1996 Harlem Fitm 
Fest) is available on video, but it focuses on Redd and 
features LaWanda ‘Aunt Esther’ Page: Skillet & Leroy; 
Wildman Steve; Rudy Ray Dolemite’ Moore; Jackie 
‘Moms’ Mabley, Dewey ‘Pigmeat’ Markham; Aldo Ray; 
and, many others. (WT) : 

Sanford and Son - The Collector’s Edition” (released 
on video 19987) This Columbia House senes (Available 
as a club subscription) features several episodes per 
tape. The episodes that are available are uncut---a big 
deal with 70s Norman Lear shows, not only because 
several minutes are cut out of each shows for 
syndication, but also because of the liberal use of, 
“Nigger.” and other racial language which has been 
excised over the years. The first volume features the 
amazing premiere, in which the wnling is much tighter 
than in later episodes, and most strikingly, Demond 
Wilson, as Lamont, is giving more to his performance 
than you'll ever see again. There's a bit at an auction 
in which he does some physical comedy where he 
appears to be having more fun then in any of the 
subsequent hundreds of episodes. It also ends with an 
tncredibly depressing scene where Lamont wants to 
leave the dead end, cynical, negative world of Fred's 
junkyard, but the truck wont start, representing the 
futility of his ambition. Ouch. Columbia House acts 
like the entire series is available and I'm not sure if 
that's true. Just the same, herc's some of my fave 
episodes: “Rated X" - Fred and Lamont unwittingly 
aqree to slar in a gay porno film. I guess for the 
untapped elderly on young Black gay incest fetishists 
market. “Fred Sanford: Legal Eagle” - Some serious 
subtext here, as, representing Lamont in court, Fred 
tells the judge, “look around the courtroom - there's 
nothing but niggers in here!” “A Visit From Lena 
Home” - Fred sneaks into Lena’s dressing room and 
convinces her to visit his sick little boy, Lamont 
Amazing for the royal treatment it gives the deserving 
Horne. “Fred Sings The Blues” - B.B King and the 
gang end the episode with a Blues jam involving 


VP AGAINST THE wa 
REOO FOR 


C or 


Lawanda and Fred doing classic, funny verses. Also 
notable, the Jewish writing staff put in lots of Jewish 
jokes over the years, including several Jewish themed 
episodes, including one where a Jewish version of 
“Sanford and Son” called “Steinberg and Son” appears 
on TV and Fred and Lamont try to sue. The apex is an 
episode, written by a rabbi, where Fred, while tracking 
down his roots, discovers not Kunta Kinte, but rather 
Falashas (Ethiopian Jews) in his family tree. Before 
finding out it’s not true, he goes and bonds with a 
curmudgeony Jewish merchant. (JA) 
Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts: Man of the Hour Frank 
Sinatra (Released on video 19997) 
The Best of The Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts 
(Released on video 19997) Recently released on video, 
these two volumes of this amazing 1970s cultura! 
phenomenon feature Foxx, and if you need me to 
explain why these are great, [ can't help you. (WT) 
Redd Foxx - A Comedy Classic (2000) See “Video InA 
Plain Brown Wrapper.” 
A&E Biography: Redd Foxx - Say 't Like It Is (2000) 
Originally broadcast January 1 f*, 2000, despite being 
far too short (it’s about 48 minutes long) this is one of 
the best biographical pieces on Foxx available. A&E 
releases some of the episode of this series on video, | 
don’t know if this is one of them. The best things on this 
are Lawanda Page's bizarre wig, Bill Duke's narration, 
and an incredible audio tape of Redd’s “Tramp Band” 
playing ‘Shtek of Araby” on the Major Bowes Amateur 
Hour radio show. The most amazing clip here is the 
chilling footage of Redd being interviewed for 
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous on his TV set and 
being interrupted by disrespectful management who get 
him visibly upset, his heavy, strained breathing evident. 
That anxiety led to his fatal heart attack moments later. 
Other notable touches: Rudy Ray Moore as a talking 
head, the inclusion of racy material (including the word 
‘shit’), open casket funeral footage, the use of Redd’s 
own logo he drew for his MF records in the title 
sequence, and a revealingly hilarious home movie of a 
Sanford and Son rehearsal. (JA) 

FOXX BOOKS 


Naughties But Goodies Redd Foxx (1965?) Though this 
joke book by Foxx was advertised by Dooto in 
magazines and on the back of some records, I've never 
seen one ever anywhere. It certainly makes sense, 
however, because Redd had a lot of jokes that would 
work on the wnitten page. (WT) 

The Autobiography Of Malcolm _X Malcolm X wi 
Alex Haley (1965) Fellow red head Malcolm X 
discusses his interactions with the funniest dishwasher 
in the world, a pre Dooto Records Redd Foxx. I like 
this for many reasons, and none more powerful than the 
fact that Redd being mentioned in this book puts him inn 
the cannon,..he is taught at every University in the 
world! (JA) 

Sanford _ and Son Compiled by Alan Riefe and Dick 
Harrington, contributing writers: Redd Foxx and many 
Jewish people (1973) This book is awesome! Stills 
from the show accompanied by word balloons with 
dialogue from the show. Some of the same bits from 













the S&S LP, but what you lose in delivery you gain 
visuals. And it's basically a freaking Redd Foxx comic 
book! (JA) ao 
Laff of The Party(1972?) This title, published by 
Dooto, I've only seen advertised on the back of a 
Sanford eta cash in LP, so it may be a retitled version of 
the jokebook they published in the sixties, or it may 
have been a companion published back then as well. 
Needless to say I’ve never seen it in person. Dootsie's 
belief that Foxx’ fans knew how to read is a good sign, 
though. 
Talking Trash with Redd Foxx Michael Daltoa 
Johnson (1972) A cash in with Foxx’ popularity based 
on his TV show, this book doesn’t have much for 
people who have knowledge about Foxx, and like most 
cash in books, I'm left more interested in what the 
author's life must be like writing this stuff than [ am 
about the subject. The author, obviously a man invested 
in joketelling, more recently released a Bill Clinto Joke 
Book. (WT) 
The Redd Foxx Encyclopedia of Black Humor Redd 
Foxx and Norma Miller (1977) Not exactly scholarly 
(at 264 pages it ain't much of an encyclopedia) ths 
covers the history of Black comedians with Redd’s 
name inside and outside the book prominently. (WT) 
The Great American Comedy Scene (1978) Though 
Redd was doing stuff in the fifties, he’s still the most 
contemporary comic in this book. Features such 
scenesters from 1978 as Buddy Hackett, Lucille Ball, 
Uncle Milty and Bob Hope. (WT) 
Redd Foxx, B.S. (before Sanford) (1979) Though this 
is a knockoff pseudo-biography in some senses, it does 
focus on some interesting things. (WT) 
Laughter On Record: A Comedy Discography 
Warren Debenham (1988) In *88 two books came out 
that filled in many a comedy collectors blanks. Ronald 
Smith put out a critical (which, by definition of cntical, 
skewed towards his interests)discography and a 
Reverend from the Bay Area who happens to have one 
of the most amazing comedy record collections in the 
world (over 10,000 records) put out this more dry 
volume. Though it only lists titles, labels, etc. with no 
commentary, the book is incredibly thorough, and also 
features a bizarre index of jokes on the records by 
subject (!7!). (JA) 
Comedy On Record Ronald L. Smith (1988) Though 
acknowledging that Foxx has the largest catalogue of 
any comedian, this book that gives 5 pages to Foxx 
definitely is fonder of comics who took albums more 
seriously, but is a good resource nonetheless. (JA) 
Who’s Who In Comedy Ronald L. Smith (1992) A 
much more rewarding book than his (nonetheless 
indispensable) discography, this gives anecdotal 
histories of a number of comedians from the vaudeville 
era on, and the Redd passage is great. His selected 
discography/filmography/etc sections are impressive. 
The book also contains an index of types of comedians 
(dialect comedians, impressionists). (JA) 
The Life and Times of Redd Foxx Dempsey J. Travis 
(1999) HAD BOX OF Unbelievably bad book, but still 
worth getting. Travis is a businessman in Chicago who 
self-publishes Black interest/history books, but doesn't 
know the meaning of the word “Editor.” I usually 
ignore his books, usually on sale at South Side 
Walgreen's stores, because you can tell they're not 
good, and they cost $30 or so. But this one, with Redd’s 
kisser on the cover, was too enticing to pass up. Travis 
was in high school with Foxx and ts still bitter at high 
school hierarchy where the thuggish Foxxes fuck with 
the nerdy Dempster’s. Though every aspect of this 
book is unbelievably done wrong in every way, the 





pages and pages of photos and pathetic legal documents 
that Travis pads the book with makes this a worthy 
investment. Also, you rarely get to read something 
done this wrong. The reason he wrote the book, by the 
way, was because he somehow acquired a box of 
Foxx’ sorry legal papers and I suspect he wanted the 
sweet revenge of showing who gets the last laugh 60 
years after high school.(JA) 

FOXX -TV 
Sanford and Son (NBC, 1972-1977) There wasn't much 
room for Redd Foxx during TV's infacy and 
adolescence in the 40s, 50s, but the juncture between 
the 60s and 70s saw Foxx cleaning up his act and 
getting on the talk show circuit. After relative big 
screen success in Cotton Comes To Harlem, Norman 
Lear and Bud Yorkin decided to combine Foxx’ “Uncle 
Bud™ junkman character from Cotton with a Brit-Com 
called Steptoe and Son. The blackwashing of the 
English comedy was completely realized when the 
show’s quick popularity allowed Foxx the leeway to ad- 
lib and bring in a supporting cast of Chitlin® Circuit 
comedians (including Lawanda Page & Leroy and 
Skillet). Remarkably, this created as close a flavor to 
Foxx’ aesthetic as was possible on commercial TV in 
the 70s. The cynical premise of a difficult LA junkman 
with a dysfuntional relationship with his son (played 
with abject bitterness by Demond Wilson) proved a 
winning combo and soon the stars made star-like 
demands, demands that were hurt when, dunng a Foxx 
walkout, episodes where Grady took the patriachal role 
in Foxx” absence actually had higher ratings. Though 
he eventually left unhappily, the show made Foxx the 
superstar he deserved to be, led to constant TV 
appearances on game shows, the talk circuit and 
variety shows (including Bob Hope specials, the Brady 
Bunch Variety Show, Diff rent Strokes, the 1974 special 
A Soul Salute To Redd Foxx, and others) and spawned a 
mess of unsuccessful shows, including... 
Grady (NBC, 1975-1976) This Sanford spinoff would 
have certainly featured lotsa Redd Foxx guest spots if it 
had been successful. Grady moves in with his 
daughter's family including Haywood Nelson of What’s 
Happening. 
Sanford Arms (NBC, September-October 1977) Redd 
Foxx and Demond Wilson both walked out on the show, 
but Redd’s family name and aesthetic lived on as their 
characters were supposed to have moved to Phoenix, 
the place next door to the junkyard was converted to a 
rooming house, and Grady, Aunt Esther and Bubba 
stuck around. This was one of the quickest 
cancellations in °77. 
The Redd Foxx Comedy Hour (ABC, 1977-1978) Foxx 
left NBC and Sanford and Son after years of salary 
disputes, and the press was told it was because they 
wouldn’t give him a window in his dressing room. ABC 
offered him a mint, it’s believed, not to create a hit for 
them, but to kill the powerful competition of Sanford 
and Son. This show was far too bold and bizarre to 
succeed. The amazing ensemble/featured guests 
included Foxx’ old partner Slappy White, “Super Dave 
Osbourne,” Andy Kaufman, Billy Barty, the guy who 
played Otis The Drunk on “Andy Griffith, the guy who 
did the “You can call me Ray or you can call me 
Jay... but you doesn't have to call me Johnson” bit, a big 
fat lady and “Iron Jaw Wilson.’ Foxx ad libbed with 
the studio audience, did bizarre skits and constructed a 
show that wasn’t always funny but was unlike anything 
else on the air before or after. ABC didn’t give tt much 
of a chance though, and after nine episodes Redd was 
quickly off weekly TV for the first time in half a 
decade. 
Sanford (NBC, 1980) Fred was back in business, but 





instead of Lamont there was a giant fat hillbilly named 
Cal and the only returning character was Rollo, played 
by L.A. rebellion actor Nathaniel Taylor who had 
always seemed a little too intense, angry and serious for 
the type of comedy done on Sanford and Son. The fat 
redneck just wasn't Lamont I guess, and the show 
bombed. 

The Redd Foxx Show (1986) Even though I was an 
adolescent at the time, | remember being disturbed by 
Diffrent Strokes and Webster sharing the premise of a 
white family raising an adorable Black kid, with no 
Black adults in sight. I proposed to my friends that a 
great response would be Redd Foxx raising an adorable 
blonde kid. I guess ABC was tapping my phone, but 
they got tt wrong, and cast Redd as a newsstand owner 
who adopts a white teenage girl. They messed up by 
having her be an adolescent, instead of a younger tyke, 
who was too ethnic looking. Had they gone with Joey 
Lawrence it would have lasted more than the 4 months 


it did. Sinbad and Dick Van Dyke's son were both on 
the show. 
The Royal Family (1991) Redd and Della Reese both 
made good showings in Eddie Murphy’s critical flop 
Harlem Nights so his production company developed a 
family program around them with Larenz Tate 
(Menace II Society, Why Do Fools Fall in Love) as the 
son. It was on the set that Redd had his fatal heart 
attack, ending his TV career on a show that was 
enjoying moderately successful ratings in its first month 
on the air. Jackée replaced him, but c'mon, you can't 
replace Redd Foxx! 
(All “TV Show” entries, JA) 

FOXX-E-PHEMERA 
The Redd Foxx Wrecker - Built by George Barris the 
Redd Foxx Wrecker was the hit of the 1974 hot 
rod/funny car circuit. Referencing Foxx’ TV success, 
the candy apple red “futuristic designed tow truck 
which would make even Sanford and Son’s business 
begin picking up” featured a cartoon of Fred Sanford in 
the Wrecker on the side and the big words “Redd Foxx- 
Star Sanford and Son” painted on the side in gold glitter. 
In the publicity photos Redd seems more interested in 
Playmate Miki Garcia than the truck. Note, also, that 
Sanford was a junk dealer, not an auto pound/shop, but 
whatever. (JA) 
The Redd Foxx doll - Licensed through Foxx 
Enterprises in 1976, the Redd Foxx doll was a fairly 
cheaply made printed fabric stuffed ragdoll with a 
casual Redd in cabana wear (his Aloha Shirt is printed 


| OOFe | 


with a red fox pattern). Turn the doll over and see 
Vegas Redd is what appears to be a crushed velvet red 
and purple double breasted ensemble with a huge 
diamond ring, a ruby shirt stud and gold buttons with 
dollar signs on them. Some people describe this a s 1/2 
Fred 1/2 Redd doll but obviously that wasn't official. 
Interesting note: When Nardwuar interviewed Snoop 
Dogg. Snoop tried his hardest to get Nardwuar to give 
him his Redd doll, to no avail. By the way, a talking 
version apparently exists. (JA) 

The Redd Foxx Club (1967-1970) Redd stared this club 
to perform at, to give work to old chitlin circuit cronies. 
and to showcase younger Black comedians. Many of 
his, and even some of Richard Pryor’s, records were 
recorded here. Though this was iocated on La Cienga, 
many have given a nod to Foxx for having a place that 
felt like it was totally in the hood as far as vibe was 
concerned. Not to say it was a place where whites 
were unwelcome. A falling out with Bill Cosby, a one 
time partner in the club, came when Foxx removed all 
of the biack Power decorations the Cos, had put up. 
Business dealings were in the hands of friends and 
relatives, none of whom was particularly trustworthy, 
and unfortunately the place became a mismanaged 
money pit. Foxx had to go back to Vegas to work to 
finance the club. It burned down, either mistakenly or 
otherwise, at the height of it’s problems. (JA) 

Redd Foxx on the St. Louis Watk of Fame - His star is 
located at 6331 Delmar. He was inducted in 1992. (JA) 
Redd Foxx Lane - This North-South street in St. Louis 
was formally West Spring Avenue. It was re-named to 
honor Redd Foxx in 1973. JA) 

Napp Snapp - When Redd unsuccessfully attempted to 
Start a company based on John Johnson's hair care 
product and publishing empire in Chicago (Johnson 
Products, Fashion Fair, Ebony and Jet magazines) his 
DDER Manufacturing and Redd Foxx Hair Products 
and Cosmetics made zillions of bottles of this hair spray. 
A testament to his failure was the cases upon cases you 
saw stacked in discount beauty supply stores long after 
the mid 70s when they first started collecting dust. The 
company failed for the same reason as the nightclub, he 
hired untrustworthy friends and family to run it. The 
fact that he didn't know anything about hair care or 
cosmetics probably didn't help either. (JA) 

Redd Foxx on Broadway (1987) Jackie Mason was 
experiencing phenomenal success by going on 
Broadway and doing, basically, bis standup routine. 


Redd, desperate for new ways to make money, and 





jsea and cake“oui” | 


maybe for respect after being so humiliated by money 
troubles, tried to do the same. The biggest 
miscalculation here was relating Foxx’ act to Mason's. 
Mason was doing observational humor for an audience 
made up of older, East Coast Jews like him (or the kids 
thereof). He was in the style of the Catskills comedians 
that were in the bloodstream of the Broadway 
audience. Foxx’ act, especially with the decision to 
include Slappy White and Lawanda Page, was straight 
out of a chitlin’ circuit Black theatrical tradition that 
was alien to the crowds. Redd’s pure brilliance had 
won over white audiences over the decades, often with 
the same act as he did for all Black audiences. Slappv 
White also had successful experiences with crossover 
audiences, having partnered (after his tenure with 
Foxx) with white comic Steve Rossi as a unique 
Salt&Pepper comedy team. But Lawanda was another 
matter altogether. Anyone who'd ever heard a 
Lawanda Page record is amazed that she managed not 
to curse on the TV show. Not to denigrate her filthy 
humor (any Sanford fan knows her comic abilities are 
abundant) but Lawanda Page in her rawest form 
(anytime she’s not performing scripted Aunt Esther 
bits) is not a crossover artist! Several people who've 
seen her perform live have reported to me that a decent 
portion of the audience, including most whites and the 
more straitlaced Blacks, simply walk out after a few 
minutes of her stuff. Sadly, that happened even on 
Broadway on opening night, and Lawanda wasn’t the 
sole culprit. Redd’s material was bitter, hateful, 
mumbled and he simply seemed (to quote the New 
York Times) “pathetically unprepared.” Needless to 
Say, it was no “Cats.” (JA) 

Redd Foxx’ Grave (1991-eternity) You can pay 
respects to Foxx at the Palm Memorial Gardens 
cemetery in Las Vegas, Nevada. Lawn space 4091, 
311 G (The G stands for...) not far from the main 
entrance, a little to the left. The small, dignified grave 
marker features a carving of Foxx’ Foxx logo and the 
words “You Are My ¥ Always”. The phrase stands 
out for a couple of reasons. One, Ka Ho Cho, his 
fourth wife, a Vegas waitress who looked quite a bit 
like his 3™ wife, had only been married to Foxx for 
three months. Of course the second reason is the irony 
involved with this phrase eulogizing not only a man who 
died of a heart attack, but one who made millions 
faking them. Sull, if there’s one thing you can say 
about Foxx, one of the greatest comedians in the history 
of history, he always had a lot of L.-+ 















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I started listening to The Dickies in High School (rah, rah, rah.), tho’ I'd 
seen ‘em much earlier on the "punk rock" episode of the Don Rickles 
sitcom CPO Sharkey(which, predating the Quincy and Chips punk 
episodes by several years, would be a cult fave now, if more people 
could see it!). The Dickies were definitely different. In a world of bands 
trying to cop the perfect aggravated stance, The Dickies dared to be 
SILLY. They dressed like denizens of Venice Beach, Sunset Stnp and 
Disneyland thrown together in a combination earthquake/idalwave at 
Bobs'Big Boy, they used more props than Carrot Top, and they had the 
chutzpah to cover "The Banana Splits" AND “Paranoid!” All that made 
‘em special (What's that you say? Special as in “special ED” or “special 
olympics?” Hey, those are YOUR words, not mine). Their original 
songs matched overtly joking lyrics with a non-joking musical attack 
(punk sleeps with Pop, and runs off with the pillow-mints). If The 
Ramones had done a Saturday morning cartoon show (IF ONLY!!), this 
is what it might have looked and sounded like. Before I made it to a 
REAL city, I had a helluva time trying to find their records, much less 
see 'em live. I eventually found their first 2 LPs in used book stores 
(guess the previous owners lost interest once they learned to read) and 
the coveted 10" white viny! "Paranoid" single at a flea market, but it's 
safe to say they weren’t giving away their (then current) 3rd LP with 
every purchase of the standard Jesus, Elvis or Naked Lady velvet 
paintings I'd see for sale on the side of the road en route to said flea 
market 

As far as seeing them live, don’t get me started! They were 
supposed to play a gig in Dallas (with support by The Necros and The 
Big Boys) in the summer of 84 at The Twilite Room (two doors away 
from where Jack Ruby proved himself the fastest gun in the west). I 
rescheduled a trip to New York so I wouldn’t miss it, but The Dickies 
cancelled ("someone broke their leg,” I was told). Being that The Big 
Boys were, by then, a frequent no-show, I opted not to go at all, only to 
be told later that Barry Henssler from The Necros was VERY keen on 
purchasing a new painting I had on display at the club and forgotten to 
put a price on. I would have screamed “D’oh!” if it was in my 
vocabulary back then. Four years later, Chicago, my then-new home, 
would be the site of a rare double-header. Iggy Pop and The Ramones 
on one bill (Apart from the previous month's Reading Festival, the two 
hadn’t shared a stage in over 10 years). It h. been announced, though 
not confirmed, that the inexplicably popula: 70's Rock recyclists Jane's 
Addiction would open the show. An old phrase comes to mind coined 
by Bill Graham (whose ghost still has a monopoly on San Francisco's 
music venues); "You gotta eat your vegetables to get to the ice cream." 
In other words, this train to Heaven was making a stop in Purgatory (I'm 
being KIND). So when I stepped off the train and saw the marquee 
from the platform, I nearly fell off! THE DICKIES ARE OPENING 
THE SHOW!!! They nearly took the whole damn thing too, despite 
Iggy’s over the top performance. I haven't missed a Dickies show in 
Chicago since, except at China Club (may all the world forget she ever 
stood) and opening for GWAR at The Vic (at which, I'm told, Leonard 
shut down a multitude of impatient Beavis and Butthead types with a 
loving. forgiving plea of, "HEY! WE'RE WORKING HERE! WE 
DON'T TAKE THE SAILORS' DICKS OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS 
WHEN YOU'RE WORKING!" 

I met Stan Lee, the Dickies’ guitarist, in ‘91, when the (now 
defunct) Avalon briefly hosted "Old School Punk" shows (Dictators, 
Dee Dee Ramone, Dickies) about 2 years too soon for the “Punk 
Revival." He proved to be a very nice guy, not one for talking too much 
or too loud and not at all on a star trip. I asked him about this show he'd 
just done at Hollywood High with Tiny Tim. He told me the Tiny One 
was incredible, and that they'd (unsuccessfully) tried to bring him up to 
join them on their ode to the famed Japanese giant robot, "Gigantor!” In 
‘95, The Dickies played at Crobar, an Industrial/Goth/Dance venue. 


Nice room, but the D.J. must have been doing sound that night, as the 
29 a 


volume and bass levels probably gave people in the SUBURBS tinitus. We 
followed them to their next gig, in Madison, Wisconsin, and it proved to be 
much more on the mark. It was a small club, with GOOD sound, and a much 
more receptive crowd (there were so many people, | had to literally sit ON the 
bar!). Later we met up with Stan and Leonard, who were both very 
appreciative that we'd (be fool enough to...) make the tnp out to see them 
again, AND that we'd caught 'em on a better night Stan even saw us to the 
door (No, he didn't throw us out bodily) and wished us a safe trip home. 
Whatta guy. Well, you're gonna read more about him and less about me from 
here on in... You see? If you eat your vegetables, you get ice cream. DIG IN 


ROCTOBER: I guess, to begin at the beginning, how long have The 
Dickies been around? It's been almost 25 years, hasn’t it? 

STAN LEE: OH, GOD! Is that nght?(laughs).... 

R: You started in '77? 

SL: Ouch!...yeah, I guess so. 

R: Had you and Leonard known each other for a while? Did you go to 
school together, or had you just met around that time? 

SL: We met around that time, through a mutual fnend...He came over to try 
out for the band, and ended up going home, and | don't even know how he got 
another try at it. (laughs) His friend begged me. He came back, he was good! 
So, that's THAT little story. 

Did you find that you were both influenced by comics and TV cartoon 
shows as much as you were by other musicians? 

Not really, I was into comics and stuff, but 1] don't know what he was into...he 
was really crazy. I think he liked Progressive Rock, Emerson, Lake and 
Palmer. (both laugh) Funny the way it happened. He's got lofty ideas about 
doing a Punk Rock Opera....maybe some day 

Are you working on a new album now? 

Yeah, we've got eleven songs recorded. We gotta write a couple more, and 
we'll be about done. FAT Records is footing the bill on it. 

Is it going to be all originals, or a couple of covers, too? 

It's mostly originals. The covers are so obscure, they're gonna be originals. 
(laughs) 

Right! Who did that song, "Elevator in the Brain Motel" originally? 
Ohhh, who the Hell was that? Leonard dug that up somewhere. I've never 
even heard the onginal! I think George Harrison wrote it under a 
psuedonymn. 

On your last record, "Dogs From The Hare That Bit Us"(a collection of 
covers ranging from The Hollies.and Donovan to The Knack, Weirdos, fron 
Butterfly, etc. Leonard and Stan wrote point-counterpoint liners concerning 
the choice of songs) was there really that much disagreement from you 
and Leonard about what songs to do, or was that just P.R.? 

No, that was all true, every word of it was true. 

Which songs did you like doing the most? 

"Easy Livin’ by Uriah Heep, The Donovan song ("Epistle To Dippy”). That's 
mv favonte cut. 


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LEONARD GRAVES PHILLIPS (VOCALS) 


STAN LEE (GUITARS) Qa 
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That WAS great. I was telling Leonard, when you guys were here 
last, that I was really surprised, because I thought it would be more 
of a parody, but it was really this serious Psychedelic thing, very 
straightforward... 

I also liked "Unconscious Power’ a lot. 

Oh, yeah! Me, too. 

We'd been wanting to do that for...I don't know, since the beginning. For 
some reason, we just never aired out the riff, or something. It was a 
tough one to figure out. 

Yeah, but you did a great version. Leonard was telling me you saw 
Iron Butterfly when you were 11 or something. 

Yeah, I saw 'em as a kid. It was at the Valley Music Theatre, 
somewhere in Rosita, or something. I think they were playing with 
Buffalo Springfield, I'm pretty sure of it. :. 
Have you ever met those guys? 

Iron Butterfly? I talked to the guitar player when they played at The 
Whisky about 10 years ago. 

They're really nice gays. I think they'd like your version a lot. 

We did (the covers album) cause, actually we were broke in Portland. 
(laughs) It was like, "What can we do...where it doesn’t have to take 
any work?" We called Triple XXX, they said, "Yeah, we'll do 
that.”... When we got home, we actually had to do it, but it was fun to do 
“Solitary Confinement” and stuff like that. 

What can you tell us about your appearance on CPO Sharkey? I was 
just a kid when that aired, I remembered Don Rickles getting 
dragged to this Punk club, and I remember Leonard staring him 
down, but I didn’t know who The Dickies were then, and I haven’t 
seen it since... 

What happened was, the guy who wrote for the show stumbled into The 
Whisky one night when we were playing, and he wrote the "Punk Rock 
Sharkey" episode. The timing of it was perfect, because our Manager at 
the time, John Hewlet, came over from London to see if we were for real 
or not. We had a little tape, it was just a little four-track demo thing. He 
came over, and the first thing he saw of us, he was sitting in the 
audience of a national TV show, and we did that bit, and then we played 
a showcase the next night and got the deal. That was it, we got all the 
Hollywood punks to be extras, yeah, it was a pretty cool thing. 







So, that was before you even had your albam out? I didn’t know that. 
Would you say that was instrumental in getting you signed? 

Well, it perked up somebody's ear. Derek Green, who was the President of A 
& M Records came out to see us. They had just kicked The Pistols off the 
label, and they were looking for a Punk band. It was just timing, I think, it 
was the one time timing worked for us. After that, it was all downhill. You 
do a tour, everything's clickin', you've got distribution behind you, videos...We 
always fucked that shit up, always... 

Yeah, but you're still here...A lot of guys that got it right have been gone 
for a long time. There's something to that, I think...For every few things 
that go wrong, something else will turn out in your favor..I'd like to think 
so, because you guys deserve it. Did you have much interaction with Don 
Rickles when you did that show? 

Oh, a little bit, he was joking around, I don’t remember, it was a long time ago. 
Then, several years later, you were in (the multi-generational mind! body 
swap movie)"18 Again" with George Burns....What do you recall about 
that? 


| Well, we just showed up and did the scene, that's about all, I don't even 


remember how we got that. Somebody made a phone call...we got to meet 
George Burns, that was cool. 

Are you looking to do anything like that now, movies or TV? 

You know, whenever we're called, we do it. We don't go out looking for it. 
The "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" thing, we got a phone call, put 
together a little bit of a tune, played it, they said, "Yeah, we want it. Do it” 
Occasionally, someone will be using the songs, and that's cool. "Easy Livin™ 
was just in Party of Five. 1 was like, "Whaa? How'd THAT happen?” I'm just 
watchin' TV, I hear it in the background, and I don't even recognize it, it's 
weird! I thought, "That sounds familiar!" Then, 10 seconds later, I go, "What 
the fuck?!.” That's pretty cool, I hope somebody got paid for it (laughs) 

How were The Dickies accepted in L.A. when you first started out, did 
you sort of stand out from the rest of ‘em because you weren’t so damn 
Serious? 


4) Yeah, we started out with a bang...From the first gig, there was something 
going on. The people from The Times writing all this “demented genius" 


stuff. (laughs) 

Wonder how much Leonard had to pay them to do that? 

(Laughs)We started out, we didn’t expect nothin’, we were just doing it for the 
hel! of it for a couple of months. It was no serious thing, and, all these years 
later, who would've guessed? I never would have written the script this way! 
From the name of the band, the whole thing was just a six month deal. Then, 
we had the first major record deal for an L.A. Punk band... Yeah, I don't know, 
the beginning days were fun. 

Did you and Leonard go in with the idea that you were going to 
incorporate ail these costumes and theatrics? 

Nah, he kind of just came in with that...He liked Genesis. (note: the original, 
Peter Gabriel-led Genesis used some pretty crazy costumes ) The second 
rehearsal he came to, he brought a fly claw. I said to myself, "This guy's 
wacky!" 

I remember, I didn’t get to see you guys until that show in '88 here with 
The Ramones and Iggy... 

Yeah, what was that, The Agora? 

The Aragon 

Yeah! Aragon Baltroom. 

And, you guys had a 20 or 25 minute spot, but you did so much in that 
time, it was like, unbelievable. Leonard was going through so many 
props and costume changes, you couldn’t even keep up with him! It was 
just moving so fast. When you're on your own time, you don't have to 
rush as much, but it looked incredible from where I was, and it sounded 
great..In fact, you're one of the only bands I HAVE heard sound good in 
that place, cause the acoustics are so horrible! 

Oh, yeah. I didn’t even know it sounded good. We were like some bottom 
rung band coming in, throwing it together, jumping on stage... 

Have you guys had a pretty good relationship with The Ramones? 
Leonard once said that they were going to use "Oh, Boy" on "Mondo 
Bizarro," then decided not to 

We wrote that song for them, but we got it to ‘em late, and they didn't do it. 
We have a good rapport with them, we used to tour with them. The thing was, 
touring with them, they wanted all the dough, so we had to get tour support, or 
we could have done it more. 

Were they one of the first groops that motivated you to go in this 
direction? 


30 


ATELY SRR ROGIER Un a nS 


Mm-hmm. It was The Ramones, The Damned, the first Buzzcocks 
single, "Spiral Scratch", The Clash....The thing was, the bass piayer at 
the time went to England when he was 18 or 19, and he saw all this shit 
going on. [ had no idea about it, { was listening to Jeff Beck or Boston or 
whatever crap was going on... Well, Jeff Beck's still good. 

Yeah, he is. 

As a player, anyway. I was listening to guitar players, because I had 
just started playing right then, and he came and threw these Punk 
records on my bed, I put 'em on and went, "What the fuck is THIS?” At 
first, I was sort of shocked about it. Then, [ kept playing that first 
Ramones album, I'd find myself cleaning the room and doing stuff, | 
thought they were like, college kids doing a JOKE kind of thing...but, I 
couldn’t help it, it made me happy! Then, I went to see ‘em, and I 
showed up at The Whisky for their soundcheck, and they were arguing, 
like, this dumb "New York" kinda thing...I thought, “This is for fuckin’ 
REAL, these guys aren’t college geniuses, this is the real fuckin'deal*" 
"Idjit Savants.” 

Yeah! It totally was! It totally was the real thing. Then I just started 
throwing a Punk band together, cause [ just started playing guitar, and it 
happened really fucking fast. Three months later, we did that CPO 
Sharkey show, and had a deal right then, “What the fuck ts going on?!" 
It was pretty cool, you could be not such a great player, and still write 
songs and be expressive. That's what was great about the whole Punk 
movement, it changed the way things were with commerciality and radio 


Are you comfortabie with The Dickies being labeled as “Old School 
Punk Rock"? 

Yeeaah, I don't care, whatever. We were around then, so it doesn't 
bother me as long as they're talking about us somehow. 

Does it seem like you're getting more of your props now than 
before? 

Well, it's like, what do they say about whores and old architecture? If 
it's around long enough, it gets respectable It's one of those kinds of 
deals, whores and old buildings. 

When this "Pop Punk" thing started happening, a lot of bands 
seemed to be trying to do something like The Dickies, but they 
couldn’t sing or put songs together like you could. I think that a lot 
of those bands would admit that you were influential to them... 

Yeah, it's not like we calculated doing anything. What happens when 
me and Leonard get together, nothing's ever calculated except...Punk 
Rock! (laughs) Hey, Ho, Let's Go! Let's play fast It's just...what 
happens. 

Is it still like that now, when you and Leonard get together in the 
studio to work on songs? 

Yeah, it still is, there's still that magic. 

That's great. 

I mean, this new one is gonna be our best record. There's a lot of strong 
stuff, Mostly going back to the roots. We didn’t get all popped-out. It's 
got the harmonies, funny lyrics, but it’s really strong stuff...The new 
record should do well, but [ thought "Idjit" was good, too. 

It was very good. In fact, Jeff Dahl and I were talking about that 
once, and we both agreed it was your best album to date As good as 
those first two albums are, it's as good or better. 

Never found an audience, though. 

Which is really a shame. It's one of those things where everything 
just seemed to be in the right place, musically. 

Yeah. The record's pretty fuckin’ strong, but the new one I already like a 
lot better. A lot of it's done, just needs to be mixed. We just want to 
make it really good instead of making the 11 songs and saying, "Here's 
your album.” There's nothing weak on it, nothing really Pop-crazy. 
There's a lot of Punk Rock smoke on it. 

Great. Who else is in The Dickies now, besides you two? 

Rick Dasher, who plays bass, Travis Johnson plays drums, and we're 
using a guy named Glen Laughlin now, who's been in an out for years 
We call him when we're in a pinch. 

Do you have any tour plans in the near future? 

We're doing the West Coast "Warped" dates, and we just got back from 
Japan, which was phenomenal. Like, finally, after 20 years, 

Oh, you'd never played there? ... 

No! We should have conquered that place a long ume ago. 

No shit! Move over, Godzilla. 

They were way into us! There were actually some Japanese kids crying 
when we did "Gigantor.” "All nght! They get it!" 


31 


Oh, yeah, I'm sure they would...they probably have a different theme 
song in Japan. 

Yeah, they call it “Tetsujin 28” in Japan. 

That's right, I read that before. I've got a friend who works on the 
"Ultraman" show in Japan, I don't know if he made it to your show, but 
he's a big fan... 

Is his name Brad? 

Yes! You met him? 

Yeah! Brad came out, and he gave me an Ultraman model. Japan was a trip, 
it was like landing in a bizarre world, different than this. Real hi-tech. Tokyo 
made Vegas look small....It's like "Blade Runner,” it was really cool. 

Let me ask you, has the OTHER Stan Lee, father of Marvel Comics, ever 
hear about you? 

I don't know. 

Are Marvel Comics your favorites, though?. 

Yeah, I've got issues #!-100 of “The Amazing Spiderman”, it's a pretty good 
collection. 

Yeah, that's damned good. I love Steve Ditko’s and Jack Kirby's 60s 
Marvel artwork. 

(laughs) 1 don't let stuff go, I guess. Yeah, why should you? I don't know if 
The Dickies are built on a philosophy, but it seems to be” The Band That 
Refused To Grow Up,” and that’s the beauty part of it...(laughs) Yeah, what's 
the alternative? 

Is it still fun to doing these old songs that you've done for so many years? 
Depending on the audience. Maybe when the new album comes out, we'll just 
get into it all over again. The last one just didn’t take off. Its hard to add 
songs to your set if people don't know 'em. You know, when Led Zeppelin 
did "Stairway To Heaven" before it was out, people said, “What are you 
doing?!” 

I guess some people thought a Punk band doing "Communication 
Breakdown" or "Paranoid" was kind of strange, too, but some of those 
songs did have sort of "Punk" sounding chord changes, you guys just 
sped 'em up and added your thing. 

Yeah, basically. 

Did you ever meet up with Black Sabbath or anyone like that whose songs 
you'd covered?. 

Yeah, I saw ‘em and gave ‘em the "Paranoid" 10" in'78. They were playing at 
The Arena, and Van Halen was supporting ‘em. I knew Eddie, he got me in so 
I could give them this record...No! You know what happened? I had two 
copies, right, the 10" had just come out, and I brought two, one to give to 
Ozzy, and one to get signed, and frame it. Eddie took it, and put it in his 
guitar case, and I said, "No, I was gonna give that to Ozzy", he said, "No, 
you're not,” "Why?" "You're not gettin’ it back!” Then he took it. He Aas that 
record. I had to go back there, get it signed, and I didn’t have one to give to 
him. He wrote, "Thanks for doing it. I don't know if he's ever heard it or not! 
I think he would've dug it, he seems to have a good sense of humor...! 
mean, not everyone is prepared to be satirized..You're almost to 
Rock'n'Roll what Mad magazine is to periodicals. 

Yeah, I've never drawn that analogy, but I see it. 

Did you ever think of having Jack Davis or someone like that do one of 
your album covers? 

No, but it’s probably a good idea. I really like the Mad stuff, but we usually 
just get an idea and go from there. That cover on our last 10” I really like. 
Yeah, I like it, too. The (predominantly purple) artwork made me think, 
"It'd look so cool if it were on purple vinyl." It looked black, but then I 
realized it WAS purple. You guys were doing that before a lot of other 
bands, singles, EPs and LPs on colored vinyl. 

Yeah, I think we were the first to do that... 

At least, consistently, yeah. 

I think that was the manager's idea. ['m not sure how that happened, but that 
sure made a difference selling singles! We put out "Manny, Moe and Jack” in 
black, and one of the big distributors said, "I would have taken a THOUSAND 
of 'em if they were in color.” 

D’oh! 





HE’S GOT A 
LOVELY BUNCH 
OF COCONUTS! 


KiD CREOL 


INTERVIEW 


By ERIC OTTENS 








Kid Creole is a man of many names and even more musical Projects. 
Starting in mid seventies he was the bass player and lyricist for Dr. 
Buzzard's Original Savannah Band, and in the early eighties he 
became a cult favorite under the Kid Creole alias. Around the same 
time he was incredibly active producing a slew of other projects 
including Don Armando’s 2nd Avenue Rhumba Band, Geichi Dan, 
Coati Mundi, Cristina, Cory Daye, and James White and the Blacks. 
Throughout the eighties and nineties he has continued work as Kid 
Creole, and for the last few years has been Starring in a musical, “Oh 
What a Night.” 

His best records do an amazing job of combining a staggering array of 
musical influences. You can hear late 70s/early 80s disco, punk, and 
new wave, stirred up with big band horn riffs. latin percussion, 
carribbean beats, squeaky keyboards, loungey vibraphone, and guitar 
riffs somewhere between James Brown and 2-tone. While anybody 
could try to force a bunch of styles into one song, Kid Creole’s magic 
touch has these varied elements excellently placed, resulting in music 
that is not just impressively eclectic, but also genuinely pleasing to the 
ear. His female backup singers, the Coconuts. provide vocal interplay 
ranging from jazzy phrases to bubblegummy nonsense syllables, with 
the all-time winner being a mesmerising repitition of the word 
“Onomatopoeia.” As the main personality Kid Creole adds strong 
melodies that keep things cooking on a sonic level. with the subject 
matter ranging from simply fun (table manners and ramificaitons of 
girlfriends running off with German ski instructors), to dark views on 
relationships and near-constant references to Joseph Conrad's “Hearts 
of Darkness." 


Kid Creole has unique song-writing skills that make listening to his 
albums a challenge to determine which they are more of: weird or 
good. He did perhaps his best work when making songs that relate to 
where he’s from in the real world while at the Same time completely 
creating their own bizarre universe. I was fortunate enough to get to 
talk to him and try to gain some insight as to how he managed this. 
He was exceedingly nice about answering questions that focused 
primarily on 1980 even though he has been doing plenty else over the 
last 20 years. 

R: What are you up to these days? 

KC: The usual actually; ['ve been involved in music theater these 
days. For the last two years ['ve been doing a musical entitled, "Oh. 
What A Night,” a celebration of the 70's disco period. I doa part in it 
as the DJ. Brutus T. Firefly, my next alter ego. I've been doing that 
Show in England for the last 2 years. We're supposed to be taking that 
same show to Toronto, Canada this year and continuing the tour of it. 
R: You act in it? 

KC: I'm acting, singing. dancing, the full spectrum. 

R: Did you write it? 

KC: No, I helped write it but I wasn't the main writer on it. It was 
actually an idea that was brought to me and I liked it so much that | 
got involved in it, but it was a return to my roots because my roots are 
theater to begin with so I thought it was a nice opportunity to get back 
into that world. In addition to that I was in the studio last year, in Las 
Vegas of all places, doing my next Kid Creole album which ts called 
"Too Cool To Conga.” I couldn't release it last year because of the 
play. I didn’t want to put an album out there and not be able to 
Promote it, but now that the play is on hiatus for a bit I'm about to 
launch that record and tour behind it. 

R: With the whole group? 


32 


KC: With the Coconuts, yes the whole shebang. 

R: As a little historical information, what prompted the move from 
Dr. Buzzard to Kid Creole? 

KC: What happened there was my brother and [ had a bit of what you 
might call “sibling rivalry.” We went through that period that a lot of 
people go through where one guy thinks he doesn't need the other guy and 
one guy wants to do more than his assignment in the band. In Dr. 
Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band I was the lyricist and the background 
singer and the bass player and I also wanted to write the songs. but my 
brother didn't want to give that position to me because he was the wniter of 
songs. He was the music man, I was the lyric man and [ guess in 
retrospect I can understand what he was trying to do which was keep the 
format because it was a winning formula. But as a youngster I had 
growing pains and I wanted to be more than I was assigned at that time. 
We split apart and 1 wanted to prove to him that I could do it on my own. 
Kid Creole really was created out of sibling nvalry. 

R: [ assume by now you get along well? 

KC: Oh god yeah. we buried that hatchet years and years ago and we still 
collaborate actually. We still help each other out on musical projects. It 
was a good learning ground. Savannah Band was a great learning ground. 
I think [ learned 90% of what I needed to survive in the music business 
trom my days in the Savannah Band. 

R: How involved were you in all the different things going on in NY 
in the late 70s, early 80s: punk, new wave, no wave, disco, etc? 

KC: Oh god yeah, I was a part of all of that stuff. cuz you couldn't miss it. 
[ consideer myself a very eclectic musician. I loved the punk music 
because it was so anti-establishment and also it was breaking all the mules. 
especially after the disco movement. which was harboring on perfection. 
Then along comes the punk movement. The basic tenant of punk music 
was that anything goes. I found that glorious as the antithesis to the 
perfecton that disco period had become. I loved the punk stuff. I loved 
the stuff that was coming from overseas also. Stuff like The Clash and 
Johnny Rotten and The Sex Pistols and all that shit was really an exciting 
era. I also loved the new movement that was coming out of America with 
the B-52's and all of that stuff as well. There was a lot of stuff going on 
that influenced early Kid Creole. There was also a strong reggae 
movement happening in England during that period, thanks to Chris 
Blackwell rediscovering reggae and selling it to the Brits. so all of that 
was heavy heavy early 80's when Kid Creole was lauching its sound on 
the world. 

R: What made you move from disco to new wavey Latin madness? 
KC: Early Kid Creole was definitely new wavey. The gigs that we played 
were gigs that had those bands playing in them. like B-52 type bands. so 
our music was very weird because we were working that circuit. That's 
where we got our name, in that circuit. I came right out of Savannah 
Band so a lot of it was dance oriented because I liked the Savannah band's 
dance mouf. I wanted to keep that motif in the Kid Creole thing but at the 
same time [ wanted to expand it a little so I got more into the Carribean 
rhythms than Savannah Band ever did. | used more punk element than 
Savannah Band ever did as well. We were a live band and that’s the way 
we were playing. 

R: Who ran Ze records and how did you become associated with 
them? 

KC: Ze Records, that's Michael Zoca. He's the son of the gentlemen who 
started the Mothercare empire in Europe. He wanted to get involved in 
the music industry so he started his own label. I ran into him. by accident 


actually. in New York City. We rubbed shoulders because he was 


33 


working in the same studio | was working tn, which happened to be 
Jimi Hendrix's old studio Electic Lady in the village. We got to 
talking and he told me he was producing his girlfriend. a girl named 
"Cristina." [told him [ was working on whatever I was working on at 
the time and we became friends really. We started socializing and at 
one of our dinners he mentioned to me, “Hey would you like to help 
me produce this new record by Cristina?” So I came aboard and 
started producing for Ze records. producing his artists. first with 
Cristina then James White and the Blacks and then some other things 
he had in his stable. Eventually [ brought him Kid Creole and said. 
"Check this out. What do you think of this?” and he thought it was 
great and the rest is history. So it really became a Michael Zoca thing 
because he was there: he was the one who put all the money up to 
record the first album. 

R: Your production work at that time was phenomal. You were 
doing so much different stuff, were those studio products, Cristina 
and Cory Daye, Don Armando, or did they all tour separately? 

KC: Oh God veah they were all live entities and really ambitious 
people who wanted to make true careers out of there music. Don 
Armando, that was a touring entity, Geichi Dan was a touring entity. 
Cristina went out and sang with us. Kid Creole actuaily. in the early 
days. and James White and the Blacks had their own band. They were 
all comprised of a bunch of talented people and a lot of that early Ze 
records stuff actually is where the punk element came in because 
Michael Zoca had a stable of artists that was really weird and zany 
and sort of psudeo-intellectual punky. So once I hooked up with 
Michael I'm sure a lot of that rubbed off on Kid Creole in the early 
days as well. But they were all live entities for sure. 

R: Are you still working with sugar coated Andy Hernandez? 

KC: No no no. he went on he became Coati Mundi when he was with 
Kid Creole but { haven't worked with him for almost a decade now. 
He went off and did his own thing. He went to California for awhile 
and tried his hand at acting. did some filmwork. I'm told he’s doing 
more music now, a Jatin album because you know America’s come 
back to the latin scene now. I think it’s a good time for him. Timing 
is everything in the music industry and I think he’s starting to do an 
album in New York now, but we haven't work together in a long 
lime. 

R: What makes you get an idea for a song, musically or lyrically, 
and what makes you know when it's good? 

KC: [I get ideas for songs from everywhere and everything. I always 
travel with dicatphone so if I'm struck with a great idea I'll put it down 
while driving or walking down the street. For instance "Stool Pigeon” 
came out of a magazine I was reading while { was in a dentist's office. 
I was waiting to go in and see the dentist and there was an article 
about an actual stool pigeon, a gangland member who had snitched on 
his pals. [ remember seeing the article and it really grabbed my 
attention. They used the phrase in there “stool pigeon” and | 
remember jotung it down and that became the “Stool Pigeon" song. | 
get my tntluence a lot from personal experiences. maybe relationships 
I've gone though, things [‘ve gone through, lessons I've learned, and 
also from media, from television shows or radio, o. as I said. 
magazines. It comes from everywhere. [ don't know whether one is 
good or not. I never dreamt that the ones that did sell the most for me. 
the “Stool Pigeons” and the “Annie [I'm Not Your Daddy.” and the 
"I'm A Wonderful Thing” stuff. [ never dreamt that would sell any 
more than the other stuff. ['m not a good judge of what's good or 


what's bad. in terms of what's good for the public that is. I like to pul my 
heart and soul into everything I do. 

R: Do you have any particular favorites or least favorites over the 
years? 

KC: No. | consider them my children. really and I don't favor one over 
the other. Each has a different emouon, evokes a different emotion. but 
they're all equal in my eyes. 

R: One of my favorite things about Kid Creole is bright happy 
upbeat dancable music, contrasted with often times dark and 
Sardonically humorous lyrics. How intentional an aspect of your 
music is that and where do you think it comes from? 

KC: That's my personality really. That comes from the way my life is. | 
like the upbeat veneer of things. but I like also the iceburg theory that 
when you chip away at the top you do find some other substance 
underneath the surface that could be dangerous to your health really. I've 
always liked that contrast. of leading people one way and then them 
discovering that it quite isn't that. [ think | developed that with Savannah 
Band because Stony's music was always uplifting for me. But the themes 
in Savannah Band were exploring some dark areas. Stony used to love 
that contrast and I think I got hooked on it early on. Even the song “Che 
Che LeFemme" which was our biggest hit in America of course in French 
means “Search for the Woman." It was basically a condemnation of 
females. saying that any problems that occur in the world. look for the 
woman. So despite the bouncy disco light feeling to the song which was a 
great dance hit for us, if you look under the surface you find this guy 
talking about the bitchiness of females. That was day one: that was our 
first hit. It stuck with me all my life really. 

R: What do you enjoy doing in your free time? 

KC: I don't have much free time. but in my free time I am a bit of a health 
nut. [| like jogging, rowboating, long hikes in the countrysides and 
mountains and that kind of stuff. I like the open air and I also collect 
antique automobiles. On an off day you might find me tinkering with my 
old cars and trying to get one on the road that hasn’t been on the road for 6 
months. I also love movies. I'ma movie buff so on my off days most 
likely you'll find me mostly likely in a cinema or renting a video, and 
when I say old movies I mean the black and white classics. you know 
Humphrey Bogart. Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca's my favorite. and stuff 
like that. That's what I do in my off time. 

R: What music did you like growing up? 

KC: I was very fortunate growing up. [ liked jast about everything and 
that was because my dad exposed me to the full spectrum. We listened to 
a lot of show music, Rogers and Hammerstein stuff and Gershwin. and 
Cole Porter, and at the same time dad was a real fanatic for early rock and 
roll. He loved Elvis Presley so we heard a lot of that in the house. We 
also heard the Motown stuff which was very influential and f loved James 
Brown. He was an idol when [ was youngster because he was the greatest 
showman I had ever seen on a stage. Then my brother got me hooked on 
the big band sound.of Count Basie and Glenn Miller and Cab Calloway 
and Frank Sinatra's early records. Then of course | got into the latin 
movement, Tito Puente, Celia Cruz, out of Puerto Rico and out of Cuba. 
Then f got hooked on Bob Marley and the Jamaican reggae stuff and | 
would say just about everything. My dad listened to Johnny Cash a lot in 
the house and [ think | got a lot of my bittersweet lyrical ideas from 
Country Western tunes because they had a great slant on lyrics. I got the 
opportunity to listen to a lot of things, the full spectrum. 


R: Are you a fan of much music these days? 


34 


KC: | couldn't reel of the names of modern artists but | do listen to 
the new stuff; [ have no other choice because [ have children. The 
children hear the new stuff, from the Spice Girls right on down I gela 
Chance to hear eveyrthing's that out there. I woudn't say I'm a fan of it 
but I like it. It's great stuff. [t's influential because it's selling. {t's 
what the public is buying today. If you're in the business you can't 
turn a deaf ear to your competitors. You have to listen and you have 
to gather what you think you Can use In your mission. 

R: How old are you kids what do they think of what you do? 

KC: Oh they love what I do. They come to the concerts. they hang 
out and I have children from the age of 4 straight through to 22. A 
full spectrum and they love the Music, very influential for them. | 
don't see any of them going in that direction yet but they're very fond 
of it and they like it and they support it. And they often offer 
criurcism, the older ones, but they all groove to it. that’s for sure. 

R: How would you like people to take your music? What's the 
Kid Creole philosophy of a song? 

KC: I'd like people to take my music with a pinch of salt. because 
after all. it's entertainment. [ like to never get off track of what it ts. 
¢ven On my Customs form when they ask me what my occupation is | 
pul “entertainer.” That's what I consider myself. I consider myself an 
entertainer. [ want people to be entertained. The same thing goes for 
a Kid Creole show, I like to enterain the people. not bore them, not 
send them away without having a good time. 

R: And the Kid Creole philosphy of a song? 

KC: I think we touched on that before, the Kid Creole philosophy is 
eclecticism to the nth degree: see how many ingredients you can get 
into a formula and still have it taste good. I think that's the Creole 
philosophy. 


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MASKS, FLASKS & DON’T EVEN ASK'! 
ANDRE WILLIAMS MEETS LOS STRAITJACKETS 


When it comes to making potent novelty records at the tum of this 
particular century, the two acts most adept at making music that makes 
us giggle as well as wiggle, are undubitiably the mighty Mr Rhythm 
himself, Andre Williams and those masked musical Mexican-esques, 
Los Straitjackets. If any one do ubts Andre’s funny side, just peep his 
40 year chucklJe-trail of hilarious records that combined R&B genius 
with lyrics and raps in the Redd Foxx party record naughtiness 
tradition, from “Jailbait” in the 50s to “Lapdance” in 2000. Los 
Straitjackets have combi ned absurd gimmickry, funny choreography, 
warped sensibilities with battle tested musical maestroisms to create 
some of the best instrumenta] albums of the last decade. If youdon = °t 
believe they make novelty records, check out th eir cover of “My Heart 
Will Go On (Love Theme From ‘The Titanic °”) on last year’s “Velvet 
Touch of Los Straitjackets” LP (Yep Roc). Also, Straitjacket Eddie 
Angell was involved in the caveman costume clad combo The 
Neanderthals, a band whose main purp ose was to recreate the vibe of 
amazing novelty rockers of the 60s. Andre is clearly the best thing 
since peanut butter, and Los Straitjackets make music as sweet as a 
Hershey bar. Who woulda believed that the 21" century would see these 
two acts getting together to create a Musical Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. 
And better yet, what would the odds be that Roctober would be there! 


Our story began at ten past noon on 
a recent Summer day when Roctober’s | 
favorite photographer, Butch 
Phillips picked Andre Williams up on 
the South side. Butch was quickly 
instructed where to go to buy the 
day’s first pint of Bacardi. Los 
Straitjackets, in town for a live 
engagement, had arranged a day’s 
session with ‘ Dre at Engine Studios, § 
and Andre was priming himself for a Ga 
recording adventure. As they drove E== 
towards their destination, Andre 
rehearsed the lyrics in the car forthe 3 
session’s centerpiece song. The 
words were written by local 
tunesmith, and Andre pal, Bob Jones 
and the classic to be bore the 
impressive utle, “It's A Mess Under 
That Dress. : ». 


When Andre hit ground zero he was greeted by Los Straitjackets 
(whom he didn’t seem to remember, even though they opened for him 
last year) and Roctober writers Gentleman John Battles and James 
Porter. He kissed John, and chastised him, “Why aren ‘t you wearing a 
suit!” Los Straitjackets had big plans for the day, but w hen Andre’s in 
the room he’s the star, so-Los Straitjackets kept relatively humble and 
let the Great One hold court Andre (who picked up another pint before 
he got into the studio) eased into the room, socializing, boasting about 
his European adventures, and tugging on John’s hair. 

Before Andre arrived , The Straitjackets had laid down a soul inspired 
Jr. Walker type track based on a song called “Straitjacket” that Eddie 
Angell had written years ago. They were just waiting for Andre to 
record the lyrics, but by the time it was time Mr. Rhythm was feeling 
no pain. Though he had the lyrics written out on a clipboard, when the 
tape started rolling the well oiled legend seemed to be in “Houston, we 
have a problem” mode. Ever the pro, he just let it all hang out, and ad 
libbed some nasty absurdities, occasionally repeating the t itle “IT’S A 
MESS UNDER THAT DRESS, ” craftily f ree associating a masterpiece, 
that never used any of Bob’s great lyrics. 

Between takes Andre was cracking everyone up with his gift of saying 
the most mundane phrases and making them sound as dirty as humanly 
possible. On a recording break James, hoping to get some Madonna 
“Truth or Dare” type action, put a video camera in Andre's face and did 
some on the spot interviewing about music, travel (“Australians still 
have abit of Mississippi in them,.”) and his experience at the Las 
Vegas Grind music festival. When he was asked about meeting Rudy 
Ray Moore, time stopped and Andre’s face froze into a smirk that scared 
the shit out of James. “I can always turn this off...” 


‘No,” Andre smirked, “Keep it going...” After he got his thoughts 
together he proceeded to tell a tale of how show emcee Rudy Ray Moore 
introduced him as a friend, and this rankled Andre because he’d never 
met him prior. Andre also, with acalm, restrained front which only 
barely concealed some obviously seething feelings, explained how 
he’s felt insulted by a number of people suggesting that he was 
influenced by Rudy Ray Moore, when Andre’s career preceeded 
Moore's. Then calmly Andre declared,. “You got what you want... now 
turn thar mother fucker off.” 

When everyone got together again it was time to cut some more 
tracks, this time live and blazing with all five superheroes going at it 
simultaneously. It was agreed upon to go at a song Andre loves to do 
live, “Mustang Sally.” As they worked out the original arrangement, 
Andre was very taken with Straitjackets Eddie and Danny who were able 
to put into guitar what Andre verbally indicated. They | communicated 
nicely, Andre impressed with Los’ lofty talent level, and everyone got 
on the same page, the engineers got the precious tape rolling, the boys 
started rocking out their tuff version, and Andre approached the mic. 
When his cue came he saddled up and belted out those classic lines that 
put the wicked in Wilson Picket, the immortal words... 

“IT’S A MESS...UNDER THAT DRESS...!” 


2 So there you have it, like all great 
Soul singles Andre managed to come 
up with, under no control of his own, 
aclassic B-side...”It’s A Mess Pt. 2!" 

, It came out of nowhere, it never made 
hn its way back to Mustang land, it was 
\e pretty special and it was a testament 

( = as to what happens wh ena man gets 

to imbibing as if he has stock 
options in www.bacardi.com.. 
Eventually a surprisingly original 
}4 sounding version of “Mustang Sally” 
was also recorded, with a_ great 
arrangement and some classic ad libs. 
And by the hour that was committed 
to tape, time was not on our side and 
the session was about over. 











’ tf 







N 

Clearly, unless you’re in 101 Stnngs, there’s no such thing as a 
“regular” recording session, but there were a few moments this day 
when business was being taken care of, things were going sm ooth, and 
an air of normalcy was wafting about. That’s about the time you'd look 
up and see four guys in masks, and one in a pimp hat. The fact that 
Andre recently shaved his moustache off and looks a Jot more sinister 
didn’t help ground things. When the dust cleared, there were 
somewhere between two and three songs recorded, plenty of video and 
photos shot, and some magic memories made. Andre, of | course, was 
sure everything was brilliant! Los Straitjackets were happy as well, 
though a bit coznfused, having expected to get more tracks done. But 
when you're dealt a wildcard like Andre, whatever you get is a blessing 
and is as magic as a valley of four leaf clovers. Look for a future single, 
with maybe even a soundbite or two from the video on it! 


The evening was finished off with a couple of vegetarian pizza ( Andre, 
a Jewish convert, stays off the pork). Butch and James then drove 
Andre back to the South side, where at an old man bar East of Jeffrey the 
remaining trio helped Andre finish the adventure the way he began 
it...drinking. Only this time, appropriately to cap off such a historic 
day, it was champagne al! around! 


36 


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amed after Valentine's 


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LITTLE LU-LU FROG - Bizarro the ugliest 87 in manages to 8¢t a few OW's out of the way: 

town” who eventually hooks UP with someone as homely 5 she. 3 OL WW ANT you TO HAVE MY BABY - One of four new songs rounding 
Valentine's days of playing “The Vampire” (Vu get 0 that later) come in. out the set. A blues harmonica and a heavenly choir help Valentine drive 
handy--listen t0 those *AH-HA-HA'S” that close every verse... home his point. Inspirational Verse: “Five-foot rwolCute Wi butva hun 
BETTY SUE - Although he never knew 4 git with this name. T. and terv1 like the way you unintelligible)” 

Valentine has recorded this rocker three or four times. and this was the wAKE UP WAKE UP BLACK MAN - See “Black Power - part 1*---the 
first version. Get a load of his chanted lyncs: “Betty Suc: { need you! lL —_lyrics are different. but the senument 1s the same. As with Swamp Doge's 
need you, Betty Sue! You © firine, YOU make my love come tumblin twice-recorded "Call Me Nigger.” whe more recent song is the edgiest 
down! Weellll. 42 round the top! 24 in the waist! 3410 the hip: Oooh. SHAKE YOUR FUNKY ASS Se Did he say that woman was getung 


pO THE DO - Hy" liked "Madison Time" by the Ray Brot! Combo THE VAMPIRE RADIO SPOT - In the late fifties. before he tumed to 
(early sixties line dance pop/R&B hit featured in the movie Hairspray): making these oddball 45's. he used to perform in clubs as “the Vampire.” 
listen to this crude song. also aimed 2 the houseparty circuit, with Mr. _as part of these yittle plays: This is a radio commercial for one particular 
Valenune telling us © take thal Us off the floor and shimmy \ike sister ghow---at first. | thought it was done recently (sounds like a synthesizer 19 
Kate: the back). but Vals woice 1 smoother and about an octave higher, 
MASSES RAY - Relcased around the time heavy™ eight champion supporting the fact that this Was recorded in the fifues. 



















Vietnam Wal. To a bip-shaking soul background, Valentine plays two 
roles, like 4 radio serial---tus “draft board” voice 1S appropriately low- 
yoiced and forbidding (with some Count Dracula "ha ha ha” thrown in for 
good measure), but his high. squeaky Cassius Clay (renamed tO keep the 


Cassius Clay (now Muhammad Alt) refused %€ be inducted into the ; —— 
i es eae A 
Oy a aay ot py 
; ae Ps, ‘ 


Jawsuits away) sounds more like Mike Tso": 
BETTY SUE - Same lyrics as before. but rerecorded with a rolling 


BLACK POWER. PART ONE - There is nothing ha-ha funny about this 
song. 4 call to arms for African-American unity, Dut once again. 
tg disjointed delivery makes uns sound almost surreal. A must- 


BLACK POWER. PART TWO - “wAOOW! Gimme some black power 
on that organ!” [Instrumental version of Part One, just lke on all those 
James Brown and Isley Bros. singles from back in the ume. 
HELLO LUCILLE. ARE YOU A LESBIAN? - stucille was ™ wife.” 
sez Valenune. “teft me for another man. Made me SO mad. | as dnving 4 


Lucille, my wife! 1came UP with ‘Lucille, Are You A Lesbian” To this 
day. he doesn't know if the real Lucille ever heard t---he's only secn het 
once since she left. and he didn't have any 45's on tim to sell. But Lucille. 
if you're reading this and you're wondering. its 4 disco-funk kinda tung 


her short hair. her refusal to Wear makeup. the ungodly amount of UME she 
spends with het girlfriends. her flat chest. and the lack of dresses OF skirts 
in het wardrobe. Aftet finding out more than he wants to know ("you've 
got a dale with my gister?!2"). he goes off on this aon-P.C. rant (“t HATE 
ALL LES-BI-ANS' 1 HATE ALL LES-BI-ANS"”)- Some overeducated 
souls would call this rap. yet there is nothing rhythmic about Valentine's 





ose you were told of a 50s country artist who was one of 
Snr io jump on the r&b bandwagon and cross over to the 
pop charts? Between 1955 and 1962 this artist scored with 50 
chart records and was second in sales only to Elvis Presley. 
Years before Aretha Franklin made gospel-drenched music 
commonplace, this singer had the guts and talent to tum a 
spintual into a major pop smash. Long before John aint 
and Bob Dylan earned critical raves for their slim volumes o 
personal wnitings, this artist crafted books that scaled the best- 
seller lists. He is the first performer of the rock era to host his 
own regularly scheduled network TV show and appeared : 
far more A-pictures than Elvis. One of the orginal teen pe 
his trademark fashion sense iting widely copied and teenage 
irls screamed and cried for him. . 
Phen you learn that this once wildly popular and influential 
artist doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being 
inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Are you angry’ 
Sure you are. You could easily be led to suspect that some sort 
of criminal fraud was taking place at that ugly building in 


Cleveland. a 
Then you learn the artist in question is none other than.... 


42 








Now you're not so angry, are you? In fact, you'll probably 
start coming up with a lot of reasons why Mr. White Buck 
Shoes shouldn't even be let near the place. “He's too squeaky 
clean, religious, decent, his records sound corny today. and 
he...he drinks milk!” {Ff that is truly your reaction, please 
consider the following. 
One of the undisputed icons of the 50s and an enduring star: 
Pat Boone is rock'n’roll’s least appreciated founding father. 
Like his friend Elvis Presley, Boone was a humble country boy 
aspiring to croon his way to pop chart fame. Both made their 
entree through the budding r&b-based rock'n'roll scene of the 
mid-50s. Boone hit nationally a full year before Presley, 
creating an opening in the mainstream for the future rock king 
and a score of other performers. 
Admittedly, a 45-year barrage of rock trends has made 
Boone's work seem dated to modern ears. However, in the 
context of the times, Boone’s work was considered just as 
fresh, exciting, and decidedly rock'n'roll. 
Modem rock historians have not been kind to Boone. Those 
who do not eliminate him from its history entirely, accuse him 
of being an agent in the Suppression of true black music. The 
basis of these charges? The fact that Boone's initial fame 
came as a white performer who recorded cover versions of 
songs first made famous by r&b artists. 
From the birth of the recording industry, through the heyday of 
the singer-songwniters of the 60s, the cover song was a 
common industry practice. It was not unusual for a dozen 
different versions of a hit song to be retooled for specific 
markets and audiences. Until the barriers between white and 
black music were lowered somewhat during the late-50s. a 
cover version was a white listener’s best shot a being exposed 
to such songs as “Sh-Boom,” “t Hear You Knocking,” “Little 
Darlin’,” or “Ain't That A Shame.” 
Boone's versions of “Two Hearts, Two Kisses.” “Tutti Frutti.” 
“Pl Be Home,” “I Almost Lost My Mind,” “Chains Of Love,” 
and others were wildly popular. They also made him a 
lightning-rod for critics who felt he was somehow Stealing a 
record out from under the original artists and reinforcing the 
inherent racism of the broadcast industry. At the height of this 
controversy, famed disc jockey Alan Freed vowed to never 
play another white cover record of an r&b hit 
In retrospect, it all seems unfair. “Hound Dog” did not 
Originate with Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis didn't write 
“Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On,” and Fats Domino's 
“Blueberry Hill” was certainly an oldie. The cover version 
trend didn’t just affect white performers either. Example: The 
Charms (whose version of “Two Hearts, Two Kisses” Boone 
covered) started their career by covering the Jewell’s hit 
waxing of “Hearts Of Stone.” 
Yet Boone was held to a different Standard than other artists 
and his phenomenal fame and perennial clean-cut image 
made him an easy target. Critics have dogged and dismissed 
him unto this day, but the fact remains that only Elvis Presley 
sold more records than Pat Boone during the Golden Era of 
Rock'n'Roll. Despite his very real achievements, he has yet to 
be seriously considered for induction into the Rock'n'Roll Hall 
ame. 
Not that he’s gneving over this Slight. After all, Boone's brief 
years as a rocker launched a career that has included 
Successful movies, books, television Shows, and lately — his 
Own ground breaking record label and website Pat's Gold. 


Rock’n’Roll Hall Of Fame, latest doings, and the 
misconceptions about his image. 

ROCTOBER: Let’s go way back. Your name is Charles 
Eugene Boone, how did you end up being called Pat? 

PAT BOONE: (Laughs) It’s a good Story - and true. Mama 


So they did some quick reconfiguring and named me after two 
of my grandfathers, Charles and Eugene - then went on and 
called me Pat anyway. They just got used to calling me Pat. A 
year later, exactly to the day my brother Nick was bom, and 
they named him after two uncles. Cecil and Altman. Then they 
called him Nick. They literally nicknamed him because they 
thought Nick sounded good with Pat. Nick and Pat. They gave 
us names on our birth certificate. | ‘ve seen my birth 
announcement at the Baptist Hospital in Jacksonville. Ir just 
Says. “To Margaret Pritchard Boone bom boy. normal.” 
Normal boy - I wasn’t even named yet. I've got that 
certificate framed with a key to the city that Jacksonville gave 
to me forty years later. 

Was yours a musical family? 

Yes, we were always singing, but not in a trained way. My 
mother had been taught by Judy Canova. She was a 
comedienne and somehow my mother’s path had crossed with 
hers. Judy taught her some chords on the ukulele when they 


chords. It was just a few, we didn't even know what they 
were called, but we could play a few chords. From the time 
when we were seven or eight years old, we had family 
gatherings and my brother or | would play and we'd sing two 
or three songs. Mom would teach us a little harmony part on 
stuff like “Sentimental Journey” or a church-song like 
“Whispering Hope.” We'd either accompany ourselves or 
sing without music at home and of course in church. We 
attended church at least three times a week - Sunday moming, 
Sunday night, and Wednesday night. All of our singing was 
acappella four-part harmony singing. So | was surrounded by 
harmony. hearing the blends from my earliest recollections. 
and I sat next to daddy who sang bass. Mama sang soprano in 
her sweet little clear voice, but | would hear others singing 
alto and tenor, and I'd expenment a little, tying to sing what 
they were singing. That made it easier for my brother and [ to 
harmonize. Until we were eleven or twelve. we did a good bit 
of singing together when our families got together. which was 
often. 

How did you break into singing soto? 

There were a couple of talent shows around Nashville where 
lutle amateur kids could get together and compete and 
perform. [ entered some of those, particularly the Belle 
Meade Happiness Club at the Belle Meade Theater in a 
suburb of Nashville. It was a pretty mtzy suburb. We didn’t 
live there but mama would take me or] would get a ride over 
on a Saturday afternoon. We'd go to that theater and we'd see 
a cartoon. a westem or a Buck Rogers senal. previews. a 
short subject maybe, and then the feature movie. But before 
that even. Ed Jordan - an old vaudevillian who managed the 
theater, would put on this stage show and bnng out three, 
maybe four kids who sing, tap-dance, whistle. play a piano or 
do something. Then, he'd let the kids, who really weren't 
paying much attention, decide who were the winners. like 
One. Two. Three. Then, who ever the kids acclaimed would 
win a banana split at the drugstore next door. Number two 
would get a milkshake, and whoever performed would get an 
ice-cream cone. I won the banana-split a few times and a few 
milkshakes, and | always got ice-cream cones. so that was 
enough to bnng me back to the Belle Meade Happiness Club 
over the next two or three years. I liked the idea of seeing the 
movie free and also maybe winning some ice cream. From 
that came invitations to sing in ladies clubs and businessmen’s 
luncheons, and gradually it became known around town that 
there was a kid who stayed up on the pop songs of the day. 
There was a lady named Ruth Mallory, a piano teacher, who 
would play piano for me just because she enjoyed doing it. 
Neither of us ever asked for any money. So, that was a good 
deal for the Kiwanis, the Junior Chamber of Commerce. or the 
Ladies Shakespeare Club. That went on through high school, 
where there were talent shows. 

Do you remember which songs you were doing back then? 
Whatever the current pop huts of the day were. | liked Bing 
Crosby so you'd hear me sing “Alexander's Ragtime Band.” 
“In The Cool Of The Evening.” “Buttons and Bows,” the Mills 
Brothers’ “Glowworm,” you know, whatever the hits were on 
the radio. | would learn one or two of the pop hits of Perry 
Como, Vic Damone’s “On The Street Where You Live.” 
Were those guys your true influence as a singer? 

Bing more than anybody. | just loved his easy, smooth. 
seemingly effortless approach. | really patterned myself on 
Bing, even when I did the movie 

Bernadine. I played a teenaged Bing Crosby - he was one of 
my role models. As f really got into singing. my other role 
model became my future father-in-law, Red Foley. He was 
the country Bing Crosby. people thought about him that way. 
He sang just as easily, warmly. and | thought even more 
eamestly. Bing could just toss off hus songs and you felt they 
were just like yawning. With Red, f felt like he meant every 
word. So. even when I[ sang songs I didn't like, that I 
personally didn’t have any faith tn at all. | leamed to sing it 
like I meant it because of Red 

Can you give us an example of a song you used Red's 
technique on? 

Well, when [ was asked to record “Ain't That A Shame,” 
which wasn't good English. | kept thinking, it’s only got about 
four notes, bad grammar. and only about eighteen words or 
something, and 1 thought. “How Can This Be A Hit?” At the 
time [ recorded it, 1 had just transferred to Columbra 
University, majoring in English. and “Ain't That Shame" 
wasn't good English. I had those objections. Sull. if I were 
going to do it. like Red Foley 1 would sing 1 with my heart and 
soul. I threw myself into it 

I've read that you wanted to change the title. 

1 did. 1 wanted to change the ntle to “Isn't That A Shame.” 
Randy stopped me after we cut the fourth try and said, “No, 
that’s not making it. Go back to ain't.” Then of course, I've 
laughed about this - I not only didn’t get kicked out of school 
at Columbia, they put “ain’C” in the dictionary as acceptable 
usage. 

So hey figured, “If Pat Boone uses the word, it must be 
OK.” 

(Chuckles.) | don't know if I've contnbuted to the diversity or 
the disintegration of the language. 


Living in Tennessee, did you listen to the Grand Ole as 
a bey? 

No, I didn’t. Because [ was only into pop music. My brother. 
oddly enough, was into rhythm and blues and gospel. So, he 
would tune the radio dial to an r&b station and listen to these 
down and dirty r&b tunes, which I didn’t get anything out of at 
the time - though | was picking up some by osmosis. He'd also 
listen to gospel, and there was a certain similarity between 
Southern gospel and what was largely Southern r&b as well. | 
listened to just the pop stations. [ was into Eddie Fisher. Bing. 
Perry, Vic Damone. and I loved Nat Cole, the Mills Brothers, 
and Patti Page. Those were the things I could sing whenever I 
got up to sing. And-country was just “hicky” f thought, even 
though here 1 was in Nashville, until I met Shirley Foley. 
When Red Foley's daughter transferred to Lipscomb High 
School and | saw her standing under the grandfather clock in 
the hallway. I went up to the captain of the basketball team 
and asked. “Pop, who's this?” He said. “A frend of mine who 
just transferred from West High, Shirley Foley - Red Foley's 
daughter.” [ instantly developed a keen interest in country 
music. (Laughs.) All of a sudden [ was a big country fan. I 
went with her to the Grande Ole Opry and stood in the back at 
the Ryman Auditorium. 

What kind of affect did being at the Opry have on you?» 
Well, the first song I ever wrote was an attempt (oO write a 
Valentine's pop song. | wasn’t aware if there was any Song 
for Valentine's Day. So | wrote a song called “Valentine.” 
But after the Opry. I started writing country songs. The first 
record { ever made was a song I had written. and Shirley tned 
to help me by arranging a meeting with Eddy Arnold. The 
country guys all knew each other, and Eddy knew Shirley was 
Red Foley’s daughter. She asked if he would listen to a couple 
of my songs. So I went down with my little ukulele and played 
“Untul You Tell me So.” which was the first song I ever 
recorded. (Recites lync.) “They say you've been untrue. from 
the start you've done me wrong. They say that we are 
through, that I'm a fool to tag along.... But [ just can’t believe 
it dear, until you tell me so.” That was really not a bad little 
song now that I think about it. [t was crafted all mght and it had 
anice litte hook. Eddy Hstened to it and said, “That's pretty 
nice, son. It's not for me nght now, but keep wnting and come 
on back when you've got some more.” So, he was nice. 


Eventually, f did go into Owen Bradley's studio and record. | 
was still a ktd. 

Was that for Republic Records? 

Republic Records. | did three sessions for a guy named Bill 
Beasley. But the first song | ever recorded one night with the 
rain drumming on a tin roof over the studio on Hillsborough 
Road was “Until You Tell Me So.” 

Did your Republic recordings do well for you? 

Yes they did. He didn’t have much distnbution or promotion 
nationally as Randy Wood. It was really a hand-to-mouth little 
independent record company, but he certainly got some 
airplay going in Nashville, because he was a local guy. Then 
Shirley and I got married and we moved to Denton, Texas and 
had the thnil of hearing the next records, two and three. 
played on the radio in the Fort Worth/Dallas area. I only did 
six songs and there were three records, so Bull didn't waste 
anything. | was looking for my record of “I Need Someone’ 
on 

the jukeboxes around Fort Worth and Dallas, that’s when | 
discovered alongside mine, an odd name, Elvis. Elvis Presley 
on Sun with “That's All Right Mama™ and “Blue Moon Of 
Kentucky.” So | listened to my record and | heard his and 
quickly decided, “Well, this guy's definitely a hillbilly.’ But he 
made an impression because | remembered his name 

When did you first meet Elvis? 

When “Ain't That A Shame” was becoming a big hit. I went 
to Cleveland to be at a big sock-hop with Bull Randle, the 
number one DJ there. Randle met me at the airport and told 
me. “I’m bnnging a kid in from Shreveport tonight to be with 
you on the same show. A kid named Elvis Presley.” [ said. 
“Elvis Presley’ He's a hillbilly. You've got him on your show 
tonight?’ Not that I minded but I was surprised. 

There were very clear distinctions between what was pop 
and country then, weren't there? 

Oh yeah, no chance that a hillbilly record could be played at a 
rock'n'roll sock hop. | said. “How did that happen?” Randle 
answered, “Well, he was on Sun Records, but he signed with 
RCA, and | think he’s gotng to be a big star.” So, sure enough, 
I met Elvis that night and Elvis went on ahead of me. That's 
the only ume we ever appeared on the same show. The 
audience didn’t know him and he had this slouchy and mumbly 
approach, his collar was tumed up and his pant legs too long, 
his hair was greasy. He looked like a real greaser, which was 
not in at the time. It came in later, after the movies. but then he 
looked like that minonty in most high schools of kids from the 
wrong side of the tracks that most of the other kids sort of 
sneer at Here comes Elvis and he lip-synchs a country 
sounding record, “That's All Right Mama” or “Blue Moon Of 
Kentucky.” But he’s wiggling and he's good-looking -— and 
I’m standing back and looking at the intrigue on the faces of 
these high school kids. First they snickered and covered their 


43 


The Pat Boone Poll 


For this highly unscientific survey. Ken 


Burke and Gary Pig Gold asked musicians. 
writers. editors, and music people they know 
the following question: 





“Between 1955 and 1962, Pat Boone scored 
with 50 hit records. Do you believe he 
belongs in the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame?" 
PRO 
Dale Hawkins 
Legendury 50s Rocker 

“Yes. | think he helped open the door for 
rhythm and blues and rock'n'roll. That was 
his contribution, plus people really did like 
his music at the time. Y'see. back then. 
people could distinguish between the dark 
side and the light side. Pat Boone was the 
light side and later Elvis showed a bit of the 
dark side These days, the music is so 
immersed in the dark side that people can’t 
bear to even look at the light. That's what 
happened with Pat, but yes I do think he 
belongs in the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. 

DJ Fontana 

Elvis Presley's drummer 1955 - 1968 

“Oh hell yeah. He had a lot of great records 
and J definitely think he should be in there. 
He did and a good job and sold a lot of 
records, so why not?” 
Writer’s question’ We'd like you to 
speculate for us. Do you think Elvis Presley 
would've wanted to see Pat Boone in the 
Hall Of Fame? 
“Yeah, I think so. They were friends and I 
think he recognized Pat's talent for what he 
was doing. So, | think he would've agreed.” 

Billy Swan 
Audium recording artist. writer/singer of “I 

Cun Heilp™ 
“T believe Pat Boone definitely does. 1 know 
that I liked rock'n'roll music as a teenager 
and | remember digging Pat Boone singing 
‘Why Baby Why.” “Love Letters In the 
Sand.” and “Don't Forbid Me.” [ just thought 
they were fantastic and he had a great voice. 
He wasn’t a growler or anything like that. 
but I thought he had a great voice and he 
definitely contnbuted in a lot of ways.” 

Jan Whitcomb 

Ragtime Raconteur and one-time Father of 

Irish Rock 

“I'm assuming by your tone 

that you assume most rocksters to have 
nothing but contempt for Pat Boone. 
But | have always liked his music and 
the man himself. In fact, | have very 
fond memories of his version of “Love 
Letters In The Sand," since it was to his 
record that | received my very first kiss 
from a teenager called Debbie Briggs in 
@ punt (that's a low flat-bottomed boat) 
on a man-made ‘ake at an upper-class 
holiday resort in East Anglia, England in 








1957. Needless to say, | was a 
teenager, too. And what a kiss it was! 
Sent tingles all over me and I've never 
had an experience as intense since. 
Boone's record was what got her going. 
What these silly myopic rocksters don't 
understand is that Boone was a crooner 
in the great tradition of crooners, going 
back to the 1920s. And the mellifluous 
and comforting voices of the best 
crooners will continue to spread 
contentment long after the noxious 
caterwauling of the Dylans have been 
buried in a black hole. I'm sorry Boone 
decided to go heavy metal, thus denying 
his impeccable wasp background. 
Somebody must stand up for pure white 
traditions and if it has to be me, so be 
it.” 

Sonny Burgess 

Legendury Sun Rockabilly 

“Yeah, I'd say so. That’s how he got famous 
was by doing rock'n'roll. I liked a lot of the 
stuff he did, a lot of it was covers, but we 
used to do a Jot of his stuff. “Love Letters In 
The Sand,’ stuff like that. Pat's problem is 
kind of like Ricky Nelson's. | thought Ricky 
Nelson was one of the best, personally. | 
really liked all his stuff, man he was good, 
but he was too laid back kind of like Pat 
Boone, and folks think they weren't wild 
enough. Heck, everybody wasn't wild 
playing rock'n'roll.” 

J.M. Van Eaton 

Legendary Sun Records Drummer 

“Yeah, he probably does. He had some 
really big hit records. To be honest, | 
preferred Little Richard's version of “Tutti 
Frutti’ and Fats Domino's “Ain't That A 
Shame” to his. But he was a major star and a 
big influence at the time.” 

Marshall Lytle 

Bill Haley & The Comets 
“[ really do believe Pat Boone belongs in the 
Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame because of his 
great contribution in making R&R Music 
popular with the white record buyers of the 
late fifties. Pat was the All-American Boy 
that the parents wanted their teenage 
daughters and sons to look up to as a role 
model. | really thought that Pat was already 
in the HOF. btw, I also believe that the 
Comets should there Too... :-) 1} think the 
R&R HOF is run by a group of people from 
the sixties era and they don't want to believe 
that R&R even existed in the 50's. They 
have inducted people that don't deserve it, 
and have NOT inducted people that do 
deserve it.” 
Carol Kaye 
Bassist on many of the Greatest Records 
Ever Maude 


“| think that Pat Boone should be 
inducted in the RRHOF because, 
regardless of who he supposedly 
“copied” or tried to “sound like," he did 
something no other singer of his time 


mouths with their hands, probably saying little critical things. 
but then their eyes got bigger as they watched him move 
around the stage, and he was getting to them! Then the record 
was over and he said (Elvis voice). “Thanks vurry musch..” 
And they looked at him like he was a hillbilly again. But, he 
really did go over well when the music was playing and it’s a 
good thing | had a very big record, otherwise Elvis would've 
stolen the show 

During your early era, disc jockeys were the true kings of 
rock'n’roll, weren't they? 

Oh yeah. They miled. Howard Miller in Chicago. Robin 
Seymour in Detroit, and then there was Buddy Dean in 
Baltimore. In every city there was at least one major DJ and 
when the promotion guys gave him a record and he played 11. 
Then the promotion guys tmmediately ran to the other stations 
and said things like, “Bill Randle’s playing this, you'd better 
jump on this.” That's just the way it happened. Now. Bill 
Randle immediately liked my record of “Two Hearts, Two 
Kisses” and he had to choose my record over Frank Sinatra's 
version, Dons Day's version, a group called the Lancers, and 
the DeCastro Sisters. There were four or five records of 
“Two Heart, Two Kisses” by known artists. That whole cover 
record thing was just getting started. So Bill chose my record 
over Frank’s, Doris’s, and everybody else's. Theirs were Tin 
Pan Alley pop versions, mine was the closest to the onginal of 
any of them. Of course it’s vanilla My records of “Two 
Hearts,” “At My Front Door.” “Ain't That A Shame.” “Gee 
Whittakers.” “Tutti Frutti,” “Long Tall Sally.” or “rll Be 
Home” are vanilla compared to the originals. What people 
don’t understand is, had they been truly authentic, they 
wouldn't have gotten played either. Because pop radio was 
not ready for the alien sound of authentic r&b. That's why 
r&b had their own stations, but 95% of Amencan radio were 
pop stations. They weren’t ready for r&b — there had to be a 
transition, and f helped make that transition by doing versions 
of these songs that were more acceptable to pop radio. Billy 
Joel put me down when he was inducted a few years ago into 
the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. He was thanking some of the 
onginal artists, he said. “I grew up on rock'n’roll and [ don't 
mean that Pat Boone. Frankie Avalon kinda rock'n'roll. | 
mean...”” and he named two or three other artists. | wanted to 
say, “Yeah Billy. you wouldn’t have even known who those 
other guys were if it weren't for the records that Frankie and 
I, Elvis and others made of their songs. You weren't into r&b 
on its own. You picked up on it because you heard the Beatles 
and other people do their songs, and you wondered where 
they were coming from.” 

You got a bad rap on that score. 

Yeah, and I understand because now, the people who control 
the voting process in particular and even a lot of the 
performers, they're mostly younger than I am. They listen to 
my record of “Tutti Frutti” and then listen to Richard's and 
say. “Hey, Pat's record doesn't have that raw r&b feel like 
Richard’s. Who's he trying to fool.” Well, if they had been 
listening to Perry Como’s “No Other Love” or Patti Page's 
“How Much Is That Doggie In The Window,” then all of a 
sudden heard, “A-Wop-Bop-A-Loo-Bop-A-Lop-Bam- 
Boom!” Twice as loud as any other record, because Randy 
always added more decibels of sound to my records than was 
standard. It made the song jump nght out of the radio. It also 
made the needle jump nght off of the record. So, I'd be lip- 
synching the record on countless clones of American 
Bandstand type shows tn every city, and I had to be ready for 
the needle to skip over from where [ was singing to the middle 
of the next verse. (Laughs.) I just kept going like | meant to do 
that. But. if they had heard my records in that context, they'd 
know [| was a rock'n'roll singer by comparison to what was 
actually being played 

Pat, did any of the rhythm & blues artists such as Fats 
Domino, Little Richard, Ivory Joe Hunter, or the Charms 
ever walk up to you and say, ‘Gee Pat, I wish you'd stop 
doing our records?” 

Goodness nv. In fact, for four or five years as soon as the 
A&R guys at the litle r&b labels had a hit record moving up 
their chart. they'd take it over to a Mitch Miller at Columbia. 
They'd say. “You ought to get Tony Bennett, Doris Day. Guy 
Mitchell or somebody to do this song. We've got us a hit here 
— you ought to cover it.” They'd also take it to Randy Wood. 
Actually, there were two Randy Woods and they were 
friends. One was a black record executive. he had a company 
called Vee Jay: the Beatles had their first Amencan record on 
that label. Vee Jay's Randy Wood had the Beatles but didn’t 
keep them. When [| brought a Beatles record back from 
England, I told Dot’s Randy Wood that [ wanted to record it 
like [ had “Speedy Gonzalez” and other songs I'd found other 
places. He knew the Beatles had already been on Vee Jay 
Records and hadn't made it, so he said, No.” 

Which Beatles song were you considering, Pat? 

(Sings a little.) “If there's anything that you want...” [t was 
“From Me To You.” | don’t know if I ever did that one though 
- I did “{) Want to Hold your Hand” and “Yesterday.” 
Anyway, [| knew I[ could make a hit record of “From Me To 
You,” but Randy tumed it down. (Note. Del Shannon hit the 
#77 with his version.] But what I'm saying ts, the black Randy 
Wood would have an r&b hit on Vee Jay and he'd bring it 
over to the white Randy Wood and say, “Hey get Pat Boone or 


somebody to do this.” Because, the artists and the record 
executives on those r&b labels knew, if they could get their 
song recorded by a pop artist. they could further the career of 
the r&b artist and increase the length of time the song stayed 
on the charts. We're not just talking about white pop artists, 
but such great black artists as the Mills Brothers, Ella 
Fitzgerald. and Nat King Cole who also covered r&b. ft was 
just a source of commercial maternal 

And a wider spread practice than anyone would like to 
believe? 

Right. Look at the Billboard r&b charts from ‘5S. "56, °57 and 
just make a list of the number one, Top Five. and Top Ten 
songs, that were giant songs that would linger on the charts for 
weeks and weeks, that were NOT covered by pop artists 
Today, nobody knows ‘em. They were big hits at the ume by 
artists that had real careers going. but they weren't covered 
by pop artists and pop labels. As a result. today nobody knows 
the song or the artist. The only r&b songs and artists from that 
era that are known today are the ones that were covered. It 
would be great to have a list of those artists. [ don't know why 
[ haven't gotten around to it yet 

Are you bothered by this myth that you somehow ripped off 
black artists? 

Yes. I'm just so tired of people saying that | stunted Little 
Richard's career or was taking something out of his pocket. | 
have an audiotape of an interview he did with a black DJ who 
asked. “How'd you feel when Pat Boone did your song ‘Tutu 
Frutt:’?"” And Richard said, “I was happy. man. My record 
had been a hit on the r&b stations but | hadn't gotten no 
money.’ These are his words: “Il was sull washing dishes in a 
bus station in Macon, Georgia. When | heard Pat Boone had 
done my song, | threw my towel down and walked out of 
there. I knew I was going to make some money now.” The 
musician that was with him said, “Yeah. we were glad when 
we heard that Pat Boone had done Richard's song. That meant 
he was going to expose it to a whole other audience. We 
couldn't get Richard on the Drake stations.” 

What were the Drake stations? 

There was a major programmer named Bill Drake, He put out 
a big programming guide for radio stations all across the 
country called the Drake Report. He's gone now and they re 
calling it something else. It was used by hundreds of stations 
then, thousands now, that programmed their stations using the 
information that Bill Drake compiled on a weekly basis. So. he 
told you what records were hitting, how they were moving up 
the charts. and what was heading toward “hitdom” and what 
was falling. DJs and program directors were using the Drake 
report as their guide and he would not include any r&b 
records. So, Little Richard couldn't get on any of the Drake 
stations and that was the majonty of pop radio. and they 
weren't going to play onginal raw rhythm and blues records. 
They couldn't understand the words: the music didn’t sound 
like it had been done slickly and professionally in a big studio 
like Perry Como's or Vic Damone’s. 

Which was the appeal of r&b. 

That's nght, the rawness of it, the spontaneity, the onginality 
was increasingly appealing to a growing number, but it was 
not yet accepted in pop radio. So, Richard Penniman could've 
come and gone, made a couple of records, and disappeared 
from the scene — sull been back tn the bus station in Macon 
except for the fact that two or three of his records got covered 
and were introduced to a far wider audience. Then he was 
able to ride through the door that had been partially opened to 
an audience that had been awakened to who this guy. who had 
two or three number one songs, was. They weren't his 
versions of the songs, but they knew my versions had become 
number one songs and Richard was the guy who wrote them 
Then of course. DJs like Alan Freed and Bill Randle 
eventually started juggling whose record they were going to 
play - the original or my version? They'd play both and ask 
the listeners to help them choose. So. increastngly the kids 
were Starting to say, “Hey. we like the onginal record. Play 
that some more.” 

Was it tough to break a new artist with a new sound in those 
times? 

Yes. For the first record. “Two Hearts.” Randy Wood had 
sent me all over the country to 20 - 25 cities in 18 - 20 days 
Sometime 1 was in two cities in a day, making the rounds at the 
radio stations, the department stores, the rack-jobbers, the 
one-stop distributors, and the jukebox guys. | would be wom to 
a total frazzle but was sull trying to look decent for my 
appearances on local TV shows to lip-synch “Two Hearts, 
Two Kisses.” It was an incredible treadmill and rat race that 
went on for at least a month to get that record established. 
Frank Sinatra wasn’t going to do that and Doris Day wasn't 
going to do that. Distributors were frantically trying to get 
radio stations to play their versions, meanwhile | was showing 
up all over the country and doing local TV and popping into 
the stations. Then, when the promotion guy would introduce 
me to the DJs, “This is Pat Boone. he’s got that new record of 
‘Two Hearts. Two Kisses." They'd look up and say, “Yeah 
sure, Pat Boone.” “No. it is.” And what the DJs were saying 
was, “Pat Boone is black. we’ve heard the record. This isn't 
the same Pat Boone.” [ had to show them my identification. 
Billy Joel and the others to the contrary, DJs - especially ones 
at r&b stations, thought that | was a black artist. | was doting 





rhythm and blues and J was doing it in an exciting way. Sure, it 
wasn't exactly like the original but they were buying it. To 
them it was unlike anything else they were heanng on pop 
radio, and that’s why my versions of those songs clicked 
through. So my epiphany came that night in late August of ‘55 
when I was heading across Manhattan looking for a place for 
Shirley and me to live after 1 transferred to Columbia 
University. | was thinking about where this whole recording 
thing was going to take me, | wasn't sure it waS going to gO 
anywhere. Because it was such hard work, | wasn’t sure of if 
1 wanted it to go anywhere. But, | had done “Ain't That A 
Shame.” I had done it in one three hour session -- | didn't 
have to go out and promote it like a madman like | did my 
other record because stations were jumping on it immediately 
on the heels of “Two Hearts, Two Kisses.” So, I’m headed 
across town and it was hot so I had the windows down and } 
pulled up at a red light. The car next to me was full of kids and 
they were tuned into WINS, which was Alan Freed's station, 
and he was playing my record of “Ain't That A Shame.” The 
whole car is jumping up and down and the kids are yelling into 
the summer night air, “You made me cry, when you said 
goodbye. Ain't that a shame!” | wanted to yell out, “Hey, 
that’s me! That's me!" Nobody knew me much at that point, 
but I'm sure they would've been surprised to see a white guy 
waving at them saying. “That's me!" They probably thought | 
was black. 

So Freed did play your records? 

Alan Freed did play my version of “Ain't That A Shame” for 
quite a while until he made his famous decision, “I’m not 
going to play any cover records anymore.” 

How did that edict affect you personally? 

It didn’t bother me. He was in a very small minonty at that 
point. He wasn’t a major force across the country yet. In 
retrospect he became one. But really, in Iowa, California, 
Flonda, and Texas, they didn’t care a whit what Alan Freed 
said. In fact. though he played original r&b records in New 
York City, it took years for that to filter across the country. 
Meanwhile, 95% of pop radio was playing my and other cover 
records. That went on dunng °55, '56, and ‘57. That's why | 
think it would be very instructive to study the r&b charts from 
that time. You'll probably come up with two or three dozen 
hits that were as big as or bigger than any other records that 
were covered and nobody knows them. (Laughs) It's probably 
be some great source material that would be great to revisit 
and make into current versions of those songs. It might make 
for a whale of an album or at least a compilation. But the point 
I was trying to make is, the pop cover established those artists 
and those songs, and they’ve been nding that opportunity ever 
since. 

Have you ever spoken to Fats Domino or Little Richard 
about covering their records? 

1 went to see Fats at Al Hirt’s place down in New Orleans 
once, where he was appearing in the round. He had a packed 
house and a little band and a piano nght there in the center. 
When he heard ] was there he called me up and had me sit on 
the piano bench right next to him. He had diamond mings on all 
his fingers, but he pointed to this one particularly startling 
diamond concoction and he said, “You folks see this ring?” 
Then he motioned his thumb at me. “This man 

bought me this ring when he recorded this song. You made me 
cry, when you said goodbye..." 1 sang it sitting beside him at 
the piano and he was acknowledging that | had made him a lot 
of money. His record went to number one r&b but not on the 
pop charts. My record went to number one on the pop charts 
and number four in the Billboard r&b charts. Fats wrote it and 
] suppose he was involved in the publishing, so he was making 
more money off my record as a wniter than he was off his 
own version. It wasn’t simultaneous, but back-to-back almost. 
Also. | once appeared on Robin Seymour's show in Detroit 
with Little Richard, that was one of those Amencan Bandstand 
type shows. He jumped up on the piano and did all his wild 
stuff and I did whatever my current hit was. But Richard very 
openly thanked me on that show and said how great he felt 
when | did his song “Tutt! Frutu.” He said, “But you can’t 
woo0-00-00 like ] do!” I laughed and said, “You got me there 
Richard, | can't do that.” 

In the documentary/concert film Let The Good Times Roll 
he says something like, “We had to make a record where 
the words came out so fast that Pat Boone couldn’t get his 
lips around it.” 

(Laughs.) Which I did of course. I don’t know if you saw this 
movie of his life they showed on NBC. They picked this really 
wimpish, anemic guy to play me, and he was acting like | was 
having an awful time trying to sing “Tutti Frutti" and “Long 
Tall Sally” -- singing it so square and so straight, and there's 
sweat on my character's brow like, “Boy this is hard!" Four 
chords and these eight words. (Laughs.) In fact, it was true 
that during the time my record was a hit and his too, for years 
after people thought both records concluded with, “A-wop- 
bop-a-loo-bop-a-lop-Pat-Boone!" It was “bam-boom,” but it 
sounded like “Pat Boone.” So, it was a fun time. It was a 
symbiotic good time for all and then came this revisionist kind 
of thing. Richard has been out front with his bitterness over not 
getting all he thinks he's due. 

Shouldn’t that be laid more at the feet of Art Rupe of 
Specialty Records than you? 


Maybe. Guys like Richard would sell a song for fifty or a 
hundred bucks. It took them something like fifteen minutes to 
write and when a guy said, “Look I'll give you five hundred 
dollars." The writer would say, “Five hundred dollars? Here! 
You got it.” Then they no longer owned the song. Of course 
Elvis. when he recorded a song, a lot of time the Colonel 
would just include Elvis’ name as co-writer. I'm sure it was a 
big surprise to the other writers and to Elvis, that he was now 
co-wniter of this song. 

Pat, did you ever do a cut-in deal on the artists you covered 
the way Elvis’ management did? 

Oh no, no. | wasn’t interested in that at all. 


You didn’t insist on a piece of the publishing or demand to 
be listed as co-writer? 

No. I was happy for them to get everything that they were due 
and I was glad to just get the benefit of doing their songs. In 
fact, this sounds weird - I wasn't even that interested in the 
record royalties for a while. 1 was doing well in personal 
appearances, television, and movies. There was a two 
hundred-week period where I was never off the charts. And 
though I was delighted to get these big royalty checks, and 
began to take them for granted after a while, it was not 
something I paid a whole lot of attention to. 1 certainly wasn’t 
trying to bite into somebody else’s income and I didn't think 
much about writing my own songs or publishing them. Of 
course, Parker was very shrewd and he realized that the 
publishing of the songs would be a big thing and he took 
advantage of that. But | didn’t want to do it. 

Were you content doing cover versions? 

] didn’t want to always be doing cover records. | was always 
trying to get Randy to let me do more ballads and then we did 
movie songs. You know, my years doing rock'n'roll in any 
form only went into 1957. It started in "55 and by ‘57 I was 
doing “Love Letters In the Sand,” “Apnl Love,” and movie 
songs that were written for me along with ballads we found 
other places. That includes “Don't Forbid Me” and “Why 
Baby Why.” 

Just to backtrack a bit, when did you first hear the phrase 
rock’n’roll, and when did you discover you were one of the 
main guys? 

Well, certainly by "55. My first two or three records were 
rhythm and blues records, which we were starting to call 
rock'n'roll. Even the phrase “rock'n'roll,” that rankled some 
people ~ munisters and folks who wormed about where this 
was all going to go. They'd say, “That phrase really refers to 
sex.” Then it came to mean dancing. 1 tumed down the Etta 
James song, “Roll With Me Henry All Night Long,” which 
Georgia Gibbs did as “Dance With Me Henry.” Well. | 
couldn't have done that either. (Laughs.) We knew it was a 
hit, and we considered it, but I] had to tum it down. | turned 
down several songs because of lyrics. But even the phrase 
“rock'n'roll” had a sexual connotation for a while. Then, that 
just sort of evaporated and rock'n’roll meant music, fun, and 
dancing. 

Did you experience any backlash from your association with 
rock’n’roll? 

Only a little bit. Though 1 came back to bite me a little, Randy 
wisely used the phrase, “A Singer That The Parents Can Enjoy 
With Their Kids," as though I was bridging the generation 
gap. That was true. Once I went on TV, I wasn’t wiggling my 
hips — in fact | was almost like a cigar store Indian, so | was 
acceptable. Richard and so many of the others had said it was 
true, parents would say, “We won't let you get any of that r&b 


1 W 


x<_ + 
; 





45 


did: He brought pop-rock into the 
mainstream of music, in a pretty good 
way I'd say. P.S.: | played guitar (and 
then bass later) on many of his things. 
He was doing stuff back then that the 
ordinary pop singer didn't do at ail.” 

Johnny Legend 

Filmmaker / Rocker / Wrestler 
“] think he belongs in the Rock'n'Roll Hall 
Of Fame if only for In A Metal Mood. Once 
he got past the things everyone is accusing 
him of, I liked the normal stuff - 1 liked 
‘Moody River,’ "Big Cold Wind,’ and once 
he reached a point where he was kinda 
struggling, I thought he got pretty good. 
Most of his straight stuff is pretty good. His 
swing stuff is pretty good and I did 
appreciate his efforts to switch over in that 
one circus movie where he played a cynical 
dnfter [Yellow Canary], and of course The 
Cross & The Swuchblade. It’s these fringe 
things that | think should land him in the 
Hall Of Fame. So yes, but for all the wrong 
reasons.” 
Ray Campi 
Original 50s Rockabilly 

“Well, certainly. You think Prince does? 
Hell no' You think David Bowie does? Hell 
no! He sang songs that were known as 
rock'n'roll songs and sang them his own 
way. He had Billy Vaughn who had a good 
band. Even his ballads had kind of Fats 
Domino guitar figures behind them and 
everything. Sure, he copied black artists. 1 
copied ‘em too. Elvis copied all the old 
black artists he could find. So did Gene 
Vincent. Everyone is influenced by someone 
else. I think he belongs in. Why wouldn't 
he? He was on the rock'n'roll charts, he had 
records that sounded like rock'n'roll.” 

Bobby Wayne 

Original Northwest Rockabilly 

“Yes. We lived in an area where rhythm & 
blues wasn’t a reality for our listening 
pleasure, and those who didn’t like Elvis as 
much as | did, thought of Pat Boone as a 
rocker. He was there at the very beginning 
and his style was more in line with Bing 
Crosby's, only with a rock'n'roll beat.” 

Ronny Weiser 

Rollin’ Rock Records 
“You mean the Hall in Cleveland?? There, 
yes, because Pat Boone is more of a R'n’R 
singer than many of the fools they inducted. 
But if you mean a REAL Rock'nRoll Hall 
Of Fame, then definitely NOT, because Pat 
was not a rocker but a pop singer attempting 
to sing some Rock'n'Roll!!” 
Patt Cupp 
Original 50s Rockabilly 

“Yes, 1 believe Pat Boone deserves a place 
in the Rock'n'Roll HOF. A lot of people 
have a very narrow view of what constitutes 
Rock ‘n’ Roll. I believe there were many 
“styles” of Rock 'n' Roll, especially in the 
beginning of the music during the middle 
50's and early 60's. The three most different 
styles | can think of, during the 50's, were 
Little Richard, Elvis, and Pat Boone. 








However, in there own right, they 
represented the music trend of the times and 
were considered Rock ‘n' Roll artist. Just 
because Pat Boone had a “Crosby” type 
voice and could do the smooth ballads 
doesn't take away from the Rock tunes that 
he also did and made both hits of the day. 
Pat Boone was just another “Style” of the 
Rock 'n’ Roll beginning. His style paved the 
way for many artist of the 60's who came 
along such as Fabian, Neal Sedaka . Bobby 
Rydel, etc. These guys were a “style” and/or 
type of Rock ‘n' Roll. By the time that the 
“Stones” arrived, we referred to them as 
"Hard Rock” at the time. The “Stones” style 
of Rock ‘n’ Roll has also evolved into the 
term “Rock Music”. Pat Boone had his day 
and should be recognized for his "style" of 
Rock ‘n' Roll just as Elvis and Little Richard 
were recognized for theirs. Pat Boone has 
my Vote.” 
Alvis Wayne 
Original 50s Rockabilly 
“Yes, | believe that Pat Boone belongs in the 
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He was 
popular, had several hit records and in the 
early years it was Elvis and Pat Boone. He 
was laid-back and Elvis was all energy. But 
he was a part of Rock and Roll history, so he 
should be there.” 
Mack Stevens 
Rollin’ Rock artist 
“Sure he does! OK, stylistically, maybe he's 
not a rock'n'roller per se, at feast not as far 
as my tastes go, but he did have all those 
hits and technically they're rock'n'roll. 
They've got a drumbeat, saxophones and all 
that. I think if somebody else besides Pat 
Boone, say Bat Poone had recorded these 
songs and he wasn't well-known, they 
would be considered rock'n'roll by other 
people. For me, there’s not any difference 
between him and say Freddie Bell or the 
Crew Cuts - which people do consider 
rock'n'roll. Some people consider Tommy 
Sands rock'n'roll! OK, that’s not my cup of 
tea, but Pat Boone does belong in there. 
Also, tf I say this maybe he'll let me borrow 
money from him.” 
Nardwuar 
Human Serviette 
“Yes, only because of his 1997 release "In A 
Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy.” 


Mike McDowell 

Blitz Magazine 
“Does Pat Boone belong in the Rock And 
Roll Hall Of Fame? Absolutely! First, put 
aside all the peripheral and irrelevant 
stereotypes about his image. They were the 
fabrication of the trend-copping hippie era 
rock-journalists-as-superstars phonies who 
were bent on rendering anything and 
everything pre-Sergeunt Pepper as 


irrelevant. Fortunately, time has proved 
them to be dead wrong, as I said it would 
thirty years ago. 

Pat Boone has not only had a proven track 
record on the charts, but he excelled in a 








stuff or even that Elvis Presley — he’s got a demon or 
something. But you can buy Pat Boone’s versions of those 
songs. You can buy Pat Boone's records because he's 
married, goes to college, and church - so it’s OK.” Sull, in all 
the magazines, for at least three or four years, Elvis and | 
were considered the kings of the hill, and they ran all these 
contests among our fans over who was the most popular. 
During that era, you earned the most wonderfu] pop 
culture moment. On I Love Lucy, Fred, Ricky, and one of 
their neighbors somehow get stuck dancing with a 19-year 
old girt ail night. At the end of the evening, one of the guys 
complains, “Do you realize how little I have in common 
with a 19-year old girl? Who’s Pat Boone?” There was this 
big explosive laugh because everybody knew who you were 
except these guys. 

(Laughs.) That's right. | even wound up in a Crosby — Hope 
movie to my astonishment. I never knew it until | saw it years 
ago on a movie channel. I always loved Bing and Bob and 
their banter. I think it was R bar or something like 
that. They were coming through the Jungle and they've got 
these big Zulu type spear-carriers and guides. Well, they burst 
out of the underbrush and here comes some big tall guides 
wearing white moccasins, and Bob tums to Bing and says, 
“Don't look now, but Pat Boone is following us.” I kept 
Popping up in ali kinds shows, getting woven into the culture. 
like Elvis. | was the antithesis - we were often referred to this 
way. I was the salt and he was the Pepper. I was like the 
character Jac = : . | was playing 
by the rules and winning, while he was breaking the rules and 
taboos and winning. I was the guy going along with convention 
and he was the rebel. [ was the All-American kid and he was 
the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. Both images were 
appealing to kids in the 50s. We had a lot of the same fans 
because we were touching different nerves. They even asked 
him in an early interview, “When are you going to get 
married, settle down, and raise a family like Pat Boone?” He 
looked at the camera with that little lop-sided grin that was sont 


of like a leer, and his famous response was, “Why should | 
buy a cow when I can get milk through the fence?” He 
probably shouldn't have said it. PIL bet Tom Parker wanted to 
pop him in the head. Of course that sent these alarms jangling 
all around the country. Parents, preachers, even politicians 
were saying, “Did you hear what he said? That boy Elvis is 
not a good influence.” 

In 1956, Elvis said, “Pat Boone and Kay Starr are the two 
finest voices out right now.” How did you feel about that 
when you heard it? 

Of course I was flattered. I liked it! As I say, | had met Elvis, 
we got to be friends, we both eventually rented homes in Bel- 
A about a block apart. One time, my three older girls ran 
away from home over to Elvis’s. Actually, it was more of an 
adventure like, (whispers) “Let’s go see Elvis.” They were in 
like first grade, second grade, and preschool. Suddenly they 
were nowhere to be found and just as Shirley was about to get 
in the car to dnve around and look for them, we got a call 
from Elvis (Presley voice), “Hey man. I got three little girls 
aver here at my house.” So we were that friendly and visited 
sack and forth. Sometimes he would come by the house 
unannounced with a couple of his cronies, drive in the 
driveway and come around the back. We'd be out by the pool. 
The kids would jump out of the pool and go jump on him with 
his collar turned up and his huge shades and all that. They'd 
say, “Daddy look, it’s Elvis!’ Then they'd jump on him and get 
him sopping wet and I'd say. “Girls get down.” Elvis would 
say, “No man, leave ‘em alone, I like this." And he did, I 
could tell, he was envying my settled life, family, kids. So he'd 
come over to get in on it, then he'd invite me over to his house. 
What was it like over at Elvis’s place in those days? 

[usually go by myself because Shirley usually had to get the 
kids to bed, so ['d go over and have dinner with him. He 
brought a couple in from Memphis who would cook him okra. 
chicken-friend steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and 
creamed corn, squash, combread and all the stuff that he 
really liked but weren't going to find around Beverly Hills. So. 
he'd have five or six guys with him, and he’d send one away 
for his date - a young starlet or somebody he'd met. She's 
come in and sit down and be introduced to everybody all 
round. It was really just a stag party except for her. After 
we'd eaten he'd say to her, “Let me show you around.” Then 
they'd disappear for an hour and a half. (Laughs.) Then 
they’d wander back in after he finished showing her around 
and we'd be playing pool. watching TV, laughing and telling 
stories. Then she'd join in for a few minutes before Elvis said. 
“Well, you'd better get on home you have to work tomorrow. 
don'cha?” Then one of the guys would take her home and that 
was his dute. (Laughs.) 

When was the last time you saw Elvis? 

In the summer of the year he died. It was July and Shirley and 
I just came with the family from a rodeo in Missouri. For about 
seven years we appeared as a family, including my daughters 
and my wife, so [ could keep my four pretty teenaged girls in 
sight at all times. But we had just come from the rodeo and 
drove over to Memphis to catch a plane to Orlando where we 
were going to do a big Tupperware convention. Well, here's 
Elvis, he’s just getting ready to get on a regular commercial! 


flight to Las Vegas, and the airport was a-buzz because we 
were both there at the same time. His limo was on the runway, 
but he had to get out and get on the plane like everybody else. 
But, he sat in his limo on the runway until it was time to get on. 
So we went to gate which was close to ours — his flight left 
before ours, then he got out and sauntered up the steps. He 
was really heavy, paunchy and had some white stuff around 
is lips which [ think was something like Maalox, because he 

as sll very nervous about flying. He had a plane, but he was 

ared and that’s why he never appeared in Europe or the 

nent because he just couldn't face all that flying over water. 

nyway, he comes up and we hug, and he sees the girls and 
hey laugh and talk. He was so heavy and paunchy that [ 
-macked him on the stomach and said, “What's this, Man? 
You carrying all your money in here?” He says. “No, | been 
eatin’ too good but I'll trim that off and sweat that off in 
Vegas. Where you goin. man?” [ said. “I'm going to 
Orlando.” “Orlando?” He says. “That's the wrong way.” 
Then he turns to his guys and says, “But you're always going 
the wrong way, aren't ya?” We laughed and [ said, “Well 
Elvis, it depends on where you're coming from.” We sont of 
laughed like we were kidding each other about our images. 
Like he was nding high in Las Vegas, still had more chart 
records. Though he was heavy, and I didn’t know it but just 
riddled with drugs and not well. the public awareness was that 


‘he was sul going strong. and my career had become much 


less visible. Here 1 am with my wife and kids going to a 
Tupperware convention. So he says. “You're goin’ the wrong 
way. man, but you're always goin’ the wrong way.” Charlie 
Hodge and the other guys are laughing. | thought | was going 
in the nght way actually. And he would've acknowledged that 
privately and said. “Really 1 admire your family. you kept it 
together. My family’s broken up. Priscilla’s with a guy who’s 
a better karate guy than | am. younger than I am. bigger than I 
am. She's gone and my daughter's gone. Here you guys are 
still together.” That was July, well five weeks later I was ina 
barber chair in Pittsburgh and I hear that Elvis had died, and | 
knew that couldn't be true. I'd just seen him, just been with 
him. But of course it was true. 

Let’s talk about some of your big accomplishments in 
music. Many of us believe you belong in the Rock’n’Roll 
Hall Of Fame. 

Well, I appreciate that. You know, some people might think 
that’s gotten to be something of great, great concem to me. 
Like you, I feel that based on just numbers and other 
considerations; there should be a place for me there. It's not 
going to ruin my life if it never happens. That's sort of like a 
medallion you get or something - [’ve already got the 
rewards. (Laughs.) 

It’s similar to a Lifetime Achievement Award. 

Yeah. I think it'll happen, truly, and £ don't mind saying it. | 
think there's resistance because I haven't lived what seems 
like a rock'n'roll life, and people are aware of other things 
that don’t seem to mesh with all of that. But | think eventually 
they’re going to have to deal with the sheer numbers of chart 
records, the fact that [ had ten records on the r&b charts. and 
that’s more than some people who are currently in the 
Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. Those were just the r&b records. 
but | had 60 regular pop chart entries, and a lot of those in the 
Top Twenty, Top Ten, Top Five. and number ones - and those 
were rock'n'roll songs. | played an important part in the 
transition of rhythm and blues into what we were starting to 
call rock’n'roll. It'll happen I guess. If not, | would still have 
lived a rich wonderful life. But I understand the resistance. 
I'm trying to visualize what the night of my induction would be 
like. The few times I've taped the shows. [ know that what 
goes on is all this camaraderie. People get up. play, jam. and 
sing together, and I know I could get worked into it. 
However, it wouldn't be easy since I don’t play an instrument 
and my songs are not the ones that most of the participants in 
the Hail Of Fame events would know. It’s not like I could 
come in there with a song like “Proud Mary” and say “Hey. 
let’s all get together and do that.” (Laughs.) | can’t hear them 
saying, “Hey, let’s all get together and do ‘Apnil Love.’ 
‘Frnendly Persuasion," or let’s all do a medley of Pat's hits.” tt 
won't happen. I can’t see Eric Clapton and those other guys 
doing that. Of course, if they want to do two or three of the 
things [ covered, like “Ain't That A Shame,” “Tutti Frutti,” 
and “Long Tall Sally” or things that were really onginal with 
me like “Don’t Forbid Me” or “Speedy Gonzalez” that could 
be worked out. I also did “Good Rockin’ Tonight,” of course 
several of us did. 

You sold more copies of that than Elvis did, didn’t you? 
Yeah, I think so. Everything [ was putting out at that time was 
selling. In fact, both of us had a number of two-sided hits. 

I was going to bring that up. 

That always frustrated me a little and it may have him too. We 
thought both of them had hit potential or we wouldn't have put 
them on the single. But we thought, “Gee we should've put out 
two records with those songs so we would’ve had two hits 
instead of just a double-sided hit.” But in some cases, both 
sides hit the charts. 

Was that the result of your personal popularity at the time? 
There was that plus Randy Wood's very shrewd selection of 
songs. I didn’t pick the songs in most cases. He did. Then once 
he picked those really good songs, we'd record. We didn’t 


| 


record then the way they do today, where groups and singers 
go into the studio and do albums of songs they've wnie, songs 
they've found, or a combination; they might do James Taylor. 
Billy Joel, or Smashing Pumpkins. Then they might go in and 
do 14, 15, or even 20 songs, pick out the 10 strongest and put 
out an album - out of which they'll pick a single. Well, we'd 
go into record what we hoped would be singles. We'd do 
three or four songs in a session and then put out the best one, 
sometimes the best two. If it was a hit and then we had (wo or 
three others, then we'd make an album. (Chuckles.) So, we 
were going for hit singles every time we went in the studio. 
We had more than one song and while we had an idea about 
which we thought were the best. but once in a while we d be 
surprised when maybe the third choice ended up sounding 
stronger or better than the others did. [t was personal 
populanty, sure, because when you're hot you're hot. 

Can you give us an example of a surprise two-sided hit? 
Sure. For “Love Letters In the Sand,” Randy Wood loved tt 
but I don’t think he had any idea it would be the biggest-selling 
single 1 ever had, because he put it on the other side of 
“Bernadine.” which was the Johnny Mercer ttle song from 
my first movie. [t had a lot of promotion going for it ~ it wasn't 


rock'n'roll by any means, it was just a pop song from the 
movie. So. we had to have another song to go on the other side 
and Randy had this strong feeling about “Love Letters [n the 
Sand.” which had been a big Bing Crosby airplay hit and had 
been introduced by Rudy Vallee on the radio. So it had been 
around a while, and Randy knew it because he had this record 
shop in Gallatin, and he sold records on the radio in little 
packages. Anytime he put Bing’s record of “Love Letters In 
The Sand” tn a package: the package seemed to do well. 
That's why he felt that song had something people liked and 
wanted me to record it. [ recorded it three times: the first time 
with just a Ittle group came to California and recorded it 
again, and then | did it for the movie. The very first recording 
I made was the one that wound up being the single. 

Did you get a chance to rehearse much before going into 
the studio? | 
So often I'd learn a song nght at the session. This is something 
Chns Isaak and other singers today find so hard to imagine. 
that a successful recording artist would show up at a studio 
and say to the recording director like Randy Wood, or 
arranger tke Billy Vaughn, “Uh, well - what are we doing 
today?” And the clock ts already ticking. We've got three 
hours to come up with a hit and a B-side at least, and [ hadn't 
even heard the songs. So Randy or Billy would say, “Here’s a 
demo, listen to this.” Then I'd listen and say. “Hey I Itke that.” 
Billy had already sketched out an arrangement so the guy 
would start playing it down and learming it, while I’m learning 
it too. Then Randy'd say, “OK. let’s see how it sounds.” He'd 
turn on the machine and we'd do a tape. then two or three 
tapes and we'd start to zero in on something that sounds pretty 
good. We might do five or six takes on a song, rarely more 
than seven or eight. Then he’s say. “I think we've got it. Let's 
go to the next tune.” Now we're about an hour and a half into 
the session. so we'd repeat the process. For me it was standard 
to get at least three finished sides in a three-hour session. 
Sometimes we'd go a half an hour over and that was a big 
deal — we must've really believed in something if we went a 
half-hour over! When I tell Chns Isaak this, he just falls down. 
is Isaak a fan of yours? 

Well. I don’t know if you know this, but Chris Isaak has been 
actively stumping for me to get into the Rock'n'Roll Hall OF 
Fame. When they interviewed him for one of the magazines it 
started out “All Chns Isaak wants to do 1s talk about Pat 
Boone and why he should be in the Hall Of Fame.” ['ve been 
to hts concert at the House of Blues, and before | met him, I 
met with his guys in the dressing room. They said, “Oh man. 
Chris 1s going to be so glad to see you, we have to listen to 
your music all the time on the bus. He'll say. “Listen to how he 
did this. guys.” Or “Listen to how the band did this. He loved 
Elvis of course. he also loved you because of your 
versatility’. Of course Chnis is eclectic too. But it just stunned 
him to think that when [ did a record of “Don't Forbid Me.” 
which was one of my biggest. we were shutting the session 
down twenty minutes early because we'd already gotten two 
good songs. Randy said. “Well guys. there's no point in 
starting another one now, we've already got something good 
so I'll let you go early.” So they were folding up their 
instruments and | went over to Billy Vaughn and said, “Billy, 
what's this other song we didn’t get to?” He said. “Oh Pat.” he 
talked with a Kentucky drawl. “It's too bad we didn’t get to 
this one. You would've liked this one. It's got this kind of low- 
note in it.” Then he starts playing. “Don't forbid me to hold 
you ught, don’t forbid me to hold you tight. Let me hold you in 
my lovin’ arms...” (hits deep bass note) I said "WOW! Wait 
a minute, Billy”’ So. [| ran into the control room and said, 
“Randy, let's do this thing!” He said, “We've only got twenty 
minutes.” And my quote was. “But Randy, this'll pay for the 
whole session.” So he said. “OK guys, wait a minute. Get your 
instruments out and cun this thing down.” That was one of 
those where we went a half-hour over, but we did it in less 
than an hour, just starting from scratch - the background 
vocalists, the musicians, and myself. That was the finished 
record then, you couldn't add anything, and you couldn't 
change much except the balance of the highs and lows. I only 


ane 


aaage——e O 
ao ry 


~ ee there ter ee cen tlie 
ae)8 ay oc a, Re 





\ 


4 x 
heard the song ight then and we came up with a three million 


selling number one hit. 
All live in the studio? : 
All live in the studio, with the excitement of discovery. which | 


pe at 


sss st 


always thought was a good thing. It was fun and quite often | 


the take we would use on the record would be like the first. 
second, or third take — when I was really just learning it. 
having fun with it. and figuring “OK, I can take a few liberties 


here. Maybe | won't do this when we're doing a serous take. | 


but right now we're just having fun.” And that might be the 


take we'd use for the record. Recording was so much fun then | 
and of course. it was more fun when { found out that the | 


writer of “Don’t Forbid Me” had sent a demo to Elvis Presley 
too. Randv had liked the song and included 1 in the session. 
Later, when they released that session at Sun Records where 
Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Carl Perkins were 
all jammin” around and talking [The Million Dollar Quartet]. 
You hear Elvis say. “Hey. you guys heard Boone’s new 
record?” Then he plays his version. Sometimes when | do the 
song live I tell that story and say, “Man. when I heard what 
Elvis could do with just him and his guitar, [ sure was glad | 
got this song first.” Then, I go on and sing it 

One of the things he said during that session was he had 
misplaced the demo. So his lack of organization got you a 
very big hit. 

A number one hit! It would’ve been a huge hit for him. but | 
got it first and I’m stl! doing it 

You’re reading my mind, Pat. I was going to ask if you did 
many of the early hits in your set these days. 

Yes, now. ft took me all this time to come to this. | know that 
many performers espectally ones that write their own songs - 
Sting, Billy Joel, and James Taylor, they do shows that are 


comprised totally of their own recordings. Maybe oddly. I} 
don’t know, for thirty-five years of my career i would do a. 


handful of my hits, then flesh out my show with my versions of 
hits by other people. I'd do a couple of the current hits and 
say. “I wish I had this first.” Or I'd put a couple of them 
together ~ a James Taylor and a Barry Manilow song and 
make a little medley. (Chuckles.) I’m king of the medleys. I 
like to put songs together that I think mesh. Like “This One's 
For You,” then I'd put that with “Handy Man,” and “Don't 
Want to Be Lonely Tonight.” I'd put these three songs 
together as three ways of just pleading for this girl's affection 
“Handy Man” in the middle was the fun part ~ the teasing 
part, then I'd finish up with “I Don't Want To Be Lonels 
Tonight.” Barry Manilow used to live across the street for 
several years. | went over one day with my daughter Laury, 
who'd made him some cookies. He loved the homemade 
cookies she had made for him -- she was like thirteen and 
liked his music. He was very hospitable and that's when I told 
him I had combined Leon Russell's song with his song and he 
said, “1 wondered when somebody was going to do that.” But 
my point was that for thirty-five years { didn’t have 
confidence that people just wanted to hear my stuff. So. | 
would do the biggest hits and go on to other things. In my 
fortieth year as a performer. I decided it was time to de 
something of a retrospective. [ went to Australia and started 
doing the show I call “Forty Years Of Hits.” Of course now 
that includes selections from the Metal Mood album and I can 
bridge the 30-year gap from when I[ was off the charts 
(Chuckles.) 

So what is your show like now? 

Now. I'll do nothing but an hour and a half on nothing but my 
own chart records and the people really seem to like it. I don’t 
do ail of ‘em of course, some [ put together in medleys. In 
Perth. Australia in 1996, | did the longest show I've ever done 
and I performed twenty-nine of own records because they 
didn’t want to let me off-stage. They kept demanding more 
and people were coming up to the stage with albums and 
pointing to songs saying, “Do this one.” Some would ask for 


vanely of musical formats. His versions of 
Roy Brown's Good Rockin’ Tonight, the 
Charms’ Two Hearts and the El Dorados' Ar 
My Front Door demonstrated that rhythm 
and blues had universal appeal, in much the 
same way that Tony Bennett's earlier cover 
of Hank Williams’ Cold Cold Heurt proved 
beyond the shadow of a doubt the country 
artist as genius with universal appeal theory. 
His work with ballads is first rate, and from 
the standpoint of a listening experience, 
Bernurdine and A Wonderful Time Up There 
are as thoroughly immersible as any other 
uptempo hit of the dav 
Later attempts at folk rock (Break My 
Mind), tongue-in-cheek protest rock (Wish 
You Were Here. Buddy) and Gospel (only 
the blatantly arrogant and ignorant would 
deny the impact of Exodus) prove his 
mastery of a vanety of unlikely forms. and 
his hands-on involvement with the Mira and 
Mirwood labels brought the world a number 
of pleasurable moments via records from the 
Leaves, the Forum and Jackie Lee 
Pat Boone tn the Rock And Roll Hall Of 
Fame? Absolutely! [ would put him above 
quite a number of those already in there.” 
Steve Knopper 
Musto Journalist 
“E believe Pat Boone deserves inclusion 
solely on the basis of his heavy metal album. 
Best damn version of "Smoke On the 
Water" [ ever heard. Or were you looking 
for something less facetious” 
Jetf Wall 
Rural Route Twanezine 
“Pat Boone? That white loafer-wearing 
crooner, in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? 
Should Pat Boone be allowed a place 
alongside such greats as Ray Charles, the 
Staple singers, Johnny Cash. and Hank 
Withams? Hell. why not? If they let that 
loser Billy Joel in, Boone deserves a spot 
too. At feast Boone has earned a spot with 
SO hit records. [n fact. Pat Boone should be 
inducted to to show the world the evolution 
of Rock and Roll. that and for the cringe 
factor from all our parents who bought his 
albums ~ 
Howard DeWitt 
Blue Suede News 
“Pat Boone deserves to be in the Rock and 
Roll Hall of Fame. The reason is a simple 
one He covered artists like Lite Richard 
He had hits with their music. Did he rip 
them off Maybe But did he popularize the 
best of rhythm and blues and roll and roll? 
You bet. Did he sell a tot of rock records at a 
lime people were criticizing the genre? He 
did. Whether or not you like or agree with 
Pat Boone, he was an immensely popular 
and influential artist. So he belongs in the 
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.” 
Maryglenn McCombs 
Dowling Press 
“Lam 100 in favor. Pat Boone 
And 50 hit records’ | had no 
[ think he 


Is too cool! 
Idea there were that many! 
deserves a place in the RRHOF.” 


utles of stuff [ don’t remember ever doing, | thought they had 
me confused with somebody else, but then they’d point to a 
title on the album. Then I'd have to explain that in the one 
hundred and thirty albums I've recorded, once we got the 
song down, I never did them again. So, | would totally forget 
that | ever did such a song. That's not true of all the music of 
course, but when you've done that volume of stuff, you just 
forget a lot of it. Yet, they'll get the album and a certain song 
will appeal to them, and they like it so much they wait for the 
chance to hear you sing 1t live. Then, it's a big disappointment 
when you don’t remember that you even did it. (Laughs.) 
Now, at all my shows I say to the audience, “If it’s OK with 
you, I'm just going (o concentrate on the songs that you're not 
going to hear anybody else do but me.” Then I'll do my own 
hits for and one and fifteen minutes or and hour and a half. 
and I'll still leave half the songs untouched. 

I'm glad you're reclaiming your hits. My aunt had a wild 
crush on you, but when she got married she ended up giving 
me all her records. She had some Ricky Nelson, Elvis, and 
Everly Brothers, but mostly there were dozens of Pat 
Boone singles. 

(Chuckles) Well. you know { greatly treasure that. [ve heard 
some wonderful stories along the way. One of the best is when 
[ was asked by the people at Nickelodeon to fly into 
Washington to surpmse Geraldine Laborne. who had built 
Nickelodeon to major status as an entertainment network for 
kids. Now she’s the prime mover in the new cable network 
Oxygen. She had been a Pat Boone fan club president in New 
Jersey. She used to conduct the meetings and play the records 
and would come to my TV shows. I never knew this because | 
didn't know her. She was just another teenaged girl that would 
come to the live broadcasts of the Pat B hevy Show on 


ABC in New York City. That was during the three-year period 
while I attending school at Columbia, where I was taking a full 
load. 1 was also having kids and doing my TV shows recording 
and taking my summers off to make movies. That’s when 
Geraldine and her little fan club would be tn the studio when | 
would do my shows. I never knew any of that, but when 
people told me, I did fly into Washington. She was up before a 
big crowd of cable network people. just about to start her main 
address, when suddenly she’s interrupted by, “On a day like 
today..." | walked on the stage singing “Love Letters In The 
Sand” to a recorded track and it just really took her off-guard. 
I sang one chorus and they faded it out. She had her 
composure now, except she kept looking at my mouth. The 
first thing she said to me was, “You still have those great 
teeth'” (Laughs.) I said, “Yep - firmly implanted.” 
(Laughing.) What a thing to focus on, eh? 

(Chuckles.) Yeah, evidently as a teenaged girl she had just 
been completely entranced by a big healthy smile, clean teeth 
or something. Anyway, it made a big impression and we've 
talked two or three times since. I’m sull hoping that we might 
team up eventually for a TV show that might work on Oxygen. 
I had a tremendous show for teenagers that we just didn’t get 
going. It would've been the next step beyond Dick Clark's 
American Bandstand. Who knows, it could still happen. 

You might be the first of the original rock’n’roll crowd to 
hit the Top Ten with a gospel song. 

[ think that I definitely was. “Wonderful Time Up There” 
went to number four and it had been called “Gospel Boogie” 
up until then. | was aware of it because my brother liked 
rhythm and blues music and country-gospel, and so | heard, 
“Everybody's gonna have religion and glory...” I'd heard that 
alot in Nashville. I knew it was a staple of all-night singings 
where the gospel groups would literally take tums and just sing 
all-night into the next day. Randy Wood proposed we do it in 
°58 and I said. “Randy, that's a gospel song. Do you really 
want us to do a gospel song when its all rock'n'roll mght 
now?” He said, “It's got a good beat.” I said, “Yeah. but it’s a 
boogie beat, erght beats to the bar. It's not just heavy back- 
beat.” He said, “Well, we'll give it a good beat.” I said. 
“Look, I like it Randy, of course I’d lItke to do it.” So. J 
recorded tt and we had fun and to my astonishment, it was a 
big hit. 

You sound like you’re having a lot of fun singing that one, 
which is why that record is so catchy. 

[ was! J tell people that I'm not a religious fanatic, to me I'm a 
religious FUNatic. I just coined that. (Chuckles.) To me, living 
a good healthy life that is anchored by faith in God, which tells 
me that ['m not a victim of random chance and just fickle fate, 
but that there's a secure kind of thread running through my 
life, that this is fun! When things don't go like I want them to, | 
don’t think it’s the end of the world or that I've lost my 
personal identity or worth. So that life, even with the setbacks, 
disappointments, and rejections can still be very enjoyable and 
have purpose. So to me, it was a thnil to have a number one 
record that was a real expression of faith and have it accepted 
as entertainment. When I| do it in person, as [ have almost 
every show I've ever done to this day, [ combine it with Neil 
Diamond’s “Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show.” | 
make it a production and my record “Wonderful Time Up 
There” is the sermon delivered by the preacher Neil is talking 
about. It goes great and [ use it as a closer. [t's fun, people are 
always clapping along and enjoying it thoroughly, and yet it’s 
a straight-ahead gospel sermon that you can take that way or 
as pure entertainment. However you take tt, it’s fine with me. 


Please tell us a bit about your brother Nick Todd. 

Well, good. Nick and [, of course, grew up in the same home, 
family, church background, and he learned to lead 
congregational singing like I did. Both of us were exposed to 
four-part harmony and he has a good true, strong voice. He 
wasn't nearly as interested in singing pop music as I was. 
When people would call and ask him to, in some cases 
because they couldn't get me, it was easy for him to make up 
an excuse and say, “No, I can't do tt.” I almost never could. 
I've often satd, “The reason I've been successful is because | 
couldn't say no.” (Chuckles.) You know. the opportunities 
would just come and I'd say. “OK, I guess. I'm busy but | 
guess I'll try that.” Or a song would be put in front of me. | 
didn't like it but I'd do it, “Ain’t That A Shame.” like I say ! 
objected to because it was bad grammar, but it was a number 
one hit. So, when I talk to young people over the years and 
they ask, “How can J get into your line of work and be 
successful?” | just say, “Take advantage of every honorable 
opportunity. Make God your agent. Because he can open the 
doors and bring the stuff to you that you would never even 
know about.” | know that’s happened with me. But Nick 
would tum down many of the opportunities he had to sing. yet 
he did iead singing in church too. Strong voice. Then. when 
my career really took and he saw [ was making money. | was 
on the cover of magazines. [ was on television. he was 
hearing my records on the radio, he knew he could do that too. 
And, Randy Wood at Dot records knew that I had a brother 
who could sing, so he signed him. 

Why did he choose Nick Todd as his professional name? 

Nick didn’t really just want to nde my coattails. We were both 
aware of Bob Crosby, Bing'’s brother, who was a successful 
band leader but was always unavoidably in Bing’s shadow 
Well, Nick wasn't too thniled about that, so he changed his 
name, to Nick Todd, which is really just “Dot" spelled 
backwards and he added another D. He had two or three 
chart records, and he did a good job. But even though he had 
an up, vibrant sound, Nick had never done enough of the pop 
type of singing that I did to develop a few little individual licks. 
Something to bend and have fun with it. He just sang as 
Straight as a string with every note right on. He could do it that 
same way every time, but there was a certain metronome 
quality to his singing and it just didn’t click, and pretty soon he 
realized, “Hey, I’m working hard but I’m not getting 
anywhere and |! don’t think I like this.” Also. it’s very 
disappointing (Laughs.), he had changed his name to Nick 
Todd and every time he would appear anyplace they'd show 
his picture with the billing “Nick Todd!” Then in parentheses, 
“Pat Boone's brother.” Then he had to explain why his name 
was “Todd.” He just got sick of that. So he went back to 
college and got a master’s degree in sociology and went into 
welfare work, which is really what I think he's cut out for. 
Where is he today? 

He’s in Nashville. He’s been a song leader for many, many 
years at church, plus started and developed the social 
humanities type programs for elderly and unwed mothers. 
adoptive programs, and so on at a huge church outside 
Nashville. 

Do you boys every get together and sing some of the stuff 
you used to do around the house? 

No, you know what? We haven't done that — that’s a shame 
We get together and he'll play me something he’s done with 
the gospel group he’s part 

of, Pll play him something I've done. but we don't actually 
sing together. That is a shame. we ought to. 

Some of the record collectors I’ve spoken with want to 
know if Nick’s old Dot sides will ever come out on your 
Pat’s Gold label? 

We'd have to go back into the Dot vaults and that’s owned by 
MCA now. I’ve got singles that had Nick's picture on the 45 
Sleeve. | don't remember an album. 

The ‘other artist we want to know about is The Phantom. 
What can you tell us about your association with him? 

Yeah, Marty Lott! 

Is he still around today? Tell us about him. 

No. he’s not. He came to see me in New York and he had 
very long hair well before it was fashionable. He just couldn't 
stand to cut it, so he had it piled on top of his head, at least as 
high as anything Little Richard ever had. This was a white guy 
from Mississippi. He had done a lot of performing and had this 
song he had wniten — he was a wild. exhibitionist type 
performer. [ wasn’t, but I thought the time would be right for 
a guy like him. He went way beyond Elvis. It was my idea that 
he wear a mask and we call him The Phantom to create a 
mystery about him. 

Sounds like a good idea. 

Yeah, I thought so too, and he went for it. He said, “I've 
actually done stuff like that. I've come on stage wearing a 
mask and I've filled my mouth with lighter fluid) While the 
band plays this romping kind of intro I'd come on stage, grab a 
girl in the front row, stare at her through my mask, pull out a 
match no one knew I had. Then I'd strike this match and 
scream the opening note of my song and flames shot out of my 
mouth.” (Laughs.) I said. “You're my kinda guy!” So | 
introduced htm to Randy Wood at Dot and he liked the song he 
had written, “Love Me.” Then we had him outfitted. [ had the 
hair and makeup guy on my TV-show fix him up - he was 





Steve Lester 
Wix Records 
“Yes, Pat Boone should be in the Hall. His 
“staustics” are overwhelming. although 
personally, | don't think that "numbers" 
should be the most important factor. But if 
you set the numbers aside, you'll sull find 
that Boone did influence rock and roll and 
he did influence pop culture. There is NO 
disputing his wnmense popularity at the 
He was VERY instrumental in 
bringing rc'n'r into the mainstream. He 
wasn't ALL about whitewashed cover 
versions, although unfortunately. that seems 
to be all some people remember Ballads 
like “April Love” and “Love Letters in the 
Sand” certainly have their place alongside 
the “Mystery Train's, “Be-bop A Lula’s and 
the “Rock Around the Clock’s 
there were plenty of black leather rebels 


time 


I'm sure 


who enjoyed the occasional slow dance to a 
Pat Boone number, whether they choose to 
admit it or not.” 
R. Stevie Moore 
DIY home recording iconoclast (whose 
father Bobby actually attended Eust 
Nashville High School with Pat!) 
“Yes! Debate irrelevant. 50 hits - reason 
enough!” 
Bobby Brom 
Munager 
“Pat Boone definitely belongs in 
Cleveland's unfortunately mistitled Pop 
Music Hall of Fame, as he contributed both 
prolifically and innovatively to American 
Pop Music. His Pop covers of Rock and 
Roll music, despite helping to expose the 
genre to an older Pop audience. probably 
aren't significant enough to earn a first-tier 
place in a genuine Rock and Roll Hall 
However, he definitely deserves a mention 
for unleashing the Phantom. “ 
Robert Gentry 
Author / Publisher 
“Yes, f very much think Pat Boone should 
be in the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. I just 
assumed he already was. When Rock 'n 
Roll was at its zenith in the mid-50's to early 
60's, Pat Boone was one of the top artist of 
the day. He was among the top artist with 
the rock and rollers of that generation.” 
David Dennard 
Dragon Street Records 
“Yes, of course Pat Boone deserves to be at 
least considered for membership the R&R 
Hall of Fame. Whether he should win or not 
is another question. First, he deserves points 
for running off and marrying Red Sovine's 
daughter, against her father's wishes...a 
classic rock & roll act of rebellion. Second, 
he was a bonafide star of his time, so he and 
his music always need to be considered in 
that context. People of the ‘50s loved him, 
and his covers of many rock & roll songs 
certainly caused some listeners (such as 
myself) to tater discover the original 
recordings and artists. His later ‘religious 
transformation" was also typical of 


performers of his generation, so must also be 
nen elena ed 





a 


considered in context. Finally, he totally 
redeemed himself, as well as having 
displayed a keen sense of self-irony, by 
having released the *In A Metal Mood” CD, 
which is remains a camp classic. So I say, 
“Let the critics be damned, and let the voting 
begin" (Although I hope that other, more 
important artists continue to squeeze him out 
of the final winner's circle).” 

Tommie Wix 

Wix Records 

“Yes | do. Very Much so. He worked for 
it, he eared it, and he deserves it.” 

Richard Davis 

Manager - Little Jimmie Dickens / Ferlin 
Husky 

“Yes. Absolutely. His image with the white- 
buck shoes shouldn't take away from that. 
Everybody has an image. William Lee 
Golden he has the image with the beard. 
Jerry Lee Lewis has his image. David Allan 
Coe has an image of wanting to be a 
hoodlum, Pat Boone wanted to be a goody 
two-shoes, and it worked for him for a 
number of years. I have worked with Pat 
Boone over the years at festivals and I have 
never, never, known him to be anything but 
a gentieman.” 

Bob Timmers 

Rockabilly Hall Of Fame 

“Cleveland's Hall Of Fame, yes. Not ours.” 


Prewitt Rose 

SRO Records 
“Yes. People forget that Pat was considered 
a rock'n'roll artist in the context of times 
and in some ways, was even bigger than 
Elvis. Plus, his example kept doors open 
when anti-rock forces tried to shut the music 
down. To deny Pat Boone induction into the 
Rock'n’ Rock Hall Of Fame is to be guilty of 
revisionist history, which 1 am dead-set 


against.” Roy Harper 


Outer Shell 
"Pat Boone led the way for contemporary 
‘Pop’ music. While Elvis Presley, Little 
Richard, and Chuck Berry pushed the limits 
of Rock n Roll in the 1950s and influenced 
artists for generations to come, Pat Boone 
showed us that music could have a simple 
message of love and also be stylistic at the 
same time. The influence of Pat Boone was 
evident in works by the early Beatles, Elton 
John during the 70s and 80s. and by such 
artists today as N Sync. The music of Pat 
Boone still endures today because silly love 
songs are ‘true-to-our-character’, and not 
really so “silly.” 
J. R. Taylor 
New York Press 

“Sure! It's understood that some people 
consider Boone to be an agent of oppressing 
the poor black artists. But, unlike Hall-of- 
Famer Woody Guthrie, Pat Boone never 
took money from the Communists to tour 
our country as a Nazi sympathizer. And if 
this is new to anybody, then it’s no wonder 
they waste their time worrying about Pat 
Boone being in the Rock and Rol! Hall of 


Fame. 





THE PHANTOM 


id 


bee 


— 


“LOVE ME 


z ont 
WHISPER YOUR LOVE” ee 7 


V; 


vitae te ff 

pretty raw looking. While he cut Marty's hair, Marty sat in the 
chair and started crying. He didn’t cut it all. He resembled a 
character in Boy Comics years ago called The Sniffer, his hair 
was combed straight up and tucked down into some hidden 
heap on the top of his head. Then we dressed him up and got 
him his mask and told him, “You're not to tell anybody that 
your name is Marty Lott.” We got him on some local 
Amencan Bandstand-type TV shows where he was a disaster. 
He was just not used to lip-synching. He was used to 
performing wildly, spontaneously and improvisationally, even 
though he had a good record. I had a comedian named Danny 
Crystal go with him as his road manager, and he came back 
with hilarious but scary stories about Marty. He'd never had 
room service in a hotel and discovered he could order up 
whatever he wanted, so he was ordering up booze, getting 
completely looped, eating, and running up big bills. 


Didn’t wearing the mask cause some problems with travel? 
Of course checking him in and getting him on an airplane, 
they didn’t have hijacking then so you didn't have security 
problems. (Chuckles.) Can you imagine a guy in a mask trying 
to get past a checkpoint at an airport today? But we wanted 
him to travel everywhere creating an awareness of this man 
and the mask. You can imagine Danny, who was a very ironic 
and anal kind of a guy anyway, he says, “I’m trying to sign us 
in and the clerk at the desk keeps looking at this tall guy in a 
mask. He’s very nervous and has his hand on the buzzer. He's 
going to call the police. I'm checking him in, explaining that 
he’s an entertainer, and that nobody’s supposed to know who 
he is.” Then he goes on a TV show and the local host 
introduces him, the record starts. and Marty stands there stock 
still, not lip-synching, not doing anything. The record is just 
playing away and the kids would've loved it if he were 
performing. I asked him, “Why didn't you do anything? You 
just stood there like a statue.” He says, “The mask slipped 
down over my eyes, I couldn’t see.” So he just stood there, 
instead of adjusting the mask which would've been OK. It 
makes you wonder how experienced he really was as a 
performer. But, things just didn’t go well. We'd have stayed 
with it and worked with him, and I think he would've been a 
ternfic performer, but just at that moment the Payola Scandal 
hit. This was when all of this was in the newspapers, there 
were Congressional investigations about DJs getting paid to 
play records and so forth. Many DJs, who liked Marty, his 
record “Love Me,” and the idea of The Phantom said, “I can't 
play this because people swear I'm getting paid to play it. 
They won't believe I'm playing it because I liked it.” So, the 
furor about Payola at that moment killed The Phantom. Yet in 
England, the record became a chart hit. Marty became a 
quadnplegic in some kind of a car accident. So that was the 
end of that, but I understand that Brian Setzer and The Stray 
Cats had a hit version of his song “Love Me.” 

A Finnish collector told me an LP featuring songs by both 
The Phantom and Nick Todd was released by the Revival 
label in Europe. 

Boy, would I love to get a hold of that. This was an 
entrepreneunal idea that I had, like many I’ve had, that I just 
couldn't stick with long enough to make sure it really clicked. 
Is that the true key to your career’s longevity, 
entrepreneurial ideas? 

I think so. Also, I've had diverse interests. I've liked different 
kinds of music so | could do different kinds of recordings. If 
you actually look down the list of my actual hits, you can’t tell 
whether [’m a country artist, a pop artist, a rock’n’roller, folk, 
or a movie theme singer. Shirley says I’m a jack of all trades 
master of none. There's a fot of truth to that and the negative 
of that is people don’t have a clear cut impression of what you 
do. That probably worked against me being in the Hall Of 
Fame, because what person in the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame 
has also had gospel hits, done movie themes like “Friendly 
Persuasion,” done folks songs and a number of country hits. 
Of course, they put Johnny Cash in there, and I don’t think he 
even belongs in the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. You'd have to 
play a record for me and say, “This ts Johnny Cash and this is 
a rock'n'roll record.” I’m not aware of any, although I love 
him. [ just don’t know what they're using as the guidelines. 





The only hard and fast rules seem to be that the artist must 
have had hit records and certain amount of time has passed. 
In that respect, nobody had more hit records than Elvis, you 
and Fats Domino. You three guys were icons of the 
rock’n’roll era. 

Yeah, of course I agree with you. (Laughs.) But the diversity 
worked against me I’m sure, because I didn’t do just one kind 
of music. Neither did Elvis completely. 

If you look at Elvis’ boxed sets and your own boxed set on 
Bear Family, you can see that you both employed the same 
creative method. Country, blues, pop, gospel, novelty, and 
rock'n'roll tunes were all recorded and mixed together. 
That's what I enjoyed and that’s what he enjoyed, because we 
both did have eclectic tastes. That did serve us well, at least tt 
gave us more chances to get up to the plate and get a single, if 
not a double, triple, or home-run. 

During the days when you the hits came almost non-stop, 
did you tour with your own band? 

Normally, 1 just had a conductor- pianist. I had some great 
ones. Mort Lindsey who was a conductor for Judy Garland. 
then arranger for Merv Griffin. He just produced a new 
album for Merv that ts going to be on my Gold label. We're 
tickled about it because it's some of the best singing I've ever 
heard Merv do, and Mort, my old buddy has written some of 
the most beautiful arrangements. Then I had a guy named Vic 
Schoen. who had been marred to one of the Andrews Sisters. 
Paul Smith for a number of years, he went with Ella and 
Sammy Davis. So what we had was a pianist-conductor and 
then we had pick-up musicians wherever we went, either a 
full orchestra or a smaller orchestra, whatever the contract 
called for. It wasn't until the last fifteen or twenty years that | 
began to put my own group together. When you take your own 
group on the road, that’s a very big expense. Sometimes you 
can get the promoter to cover that. Quite often though, he pays 
you and you're responsible to bnng your own musicians, pay 
them on a daily basis and provide for their travel and lodging - 
it’s very expensive. There was a time when I took stock of my 
finances. | was working my brains out with my family 
performing with me, we'd take our own musicians, and it was 
clear that | had to earn seventy-five thousand a month just to 
break even and maybe pay my taxes. If [ couldn't clear a 
hundred thousand a month touring. I wouldn't make any 
money. Another epiphany came when I went to see Elton John 
at the Long Beach arena. Here | saw him with three guys, a 
soundman, and a light man. It was a full arena and the music 
was great! So | leamed something that night. 

One of the things I find amazing is that you’ve had a TV 
show at nearly every juncture of your career. 

That may have been a tactical error, I don’t know. Col. Tom 
Parker said he pretty much kept Elvis off TV because if you 
could see someone freely and frequently on television, than a 
lot of the mystique would vanish and the sense of rarity would 
also dissipate. Here I was, I was coming at you from every 
source, movies, records, personal appearances, books, and 
then a weekly TV show. Even though that was successful and 
ABC loved it for three years, when the time came and they 
wanted to renew, I said. “I’m moving to Califomia, I'd like to 
do an hour a week, not a half hour.” I thought a half-hour 
show had not as much prestige as an hour show. It didn't 
really matter to me too much whether we continued with the 
show or not because it was really tough work, and I had a 
sense that it had negatively affected record sales. So, when 
ABC said they weren't ready for an hour and since Chevrolet 
my sponsor already had Bonanza and Dinah Shore - both hour 


shows, ABC started a new show called My Three Sons, with 


Fred Mac Murray 

That ran for 16 years! 

Yeah! it tumed out to be a big hit. During the summer, when | 
took time off from my TV show and school to make movies. 
Andy Williams hosted my show for two years during the 
summer. That was his first hosting job on television and 

Dick Van Dyke did one summer - in fact 1 think it was both 
Dick and Andy for a couple of years, then Andy by himself 
the third year. 

That must’ve been a big break for both of them. 

It really was, I helped introduce a couple of pretty good guys. 
At last count, how many television shows have you had? 

Oh yeah, there was the Pat Boone Chevy Show. Then there 
was an NBC show just called Pat Boone. Then there was a 


Filmways syndicated program. The Pat Boone USA Show that 
CBN did which ! co-produced. Many specials on all the 
networks. Then. of course, the w on 
TBN, which is a weekly Gospel music program, and that’s 
been going for five or six years. It’s in reruns right now, but 
we're talking about doing it again. So yeah, you're nght. | 
hadn't thought about that, but certainly since the 50s I've been 
on television on a regular basis. 

You must be universally loved to be on so many programs 
over such a span of time. 

Well, I'd like to think that, but in my career there’s been a 
curious cross-current — a negative. Maybe there is in most 
people's career, I don’t know. For decades [’ve had avid fans 
from many walks of life, but I've also had critics and folks 
who just didn’t like me. The Rolling Stone did an in-depth 


cover story during the late 70s, That was a ume when I had 
some stuff going on one of Motown’s subsidiaries, Hitsville, 
and they didn’t follow up on it. Here [ was on the cover of the 
Rolling Stone and they didn’t even put out a new record, 
because Berry Gordy was out in Europe with Diana Ross 
making a movie. As a result, the record business just 
languished. So there was no capitalizing on this cover story we 
did for the Rolling Stone. ; 
That’s too bad, because I thought the Stone did a good piece 
on you. 

in that article, the writer John Anderson, had done really in- 
depth research, hoping to turn over some rocks and have some 
unsavory things crawl out. He never found i, So, Jann 
Wenner gave me a real nice tribute in the editomal, he said 
[Boone paraphrases here.] “OK, what's Pat Boone doing on 
the cover of our magazine? He doesn’t have a current hit, it's 
been years since he really made his big splash” and so on. 
“Well, we sent a guy to ferret out whatever we could on the 
real Pat Boone, and he has come back saying ‘That what 
we've seen is what we get, that’s it.’ So we tip our hat to a 
man who has been more consistent than anything else we've 
known in this last twenty years has. Like him or don’t, at least 
he’s not trying to fool anybody. He is what he claims to be and 
he lives what he preaches, so we tip our hat" So J sent him 
and the whole staff up there in San Francisco, fifty cartons of 
milk by way of thanks. I got ths nice letter back from Jann 
Wenner, “We all raised our glasses and cartons and said 
‘Here's to a good guy,” then we toasted you with our milk in 
the Rolling Stone offices.” (Chuckles) I guarantee that's the 
only ume that’s ever happened. However. Jann told me that 
when he interviewed people, “I'm getting only two reactions 
about you. I’ve asked college kids. I've asked business 
people, people in the street, people in the music industry, and 
they either say, ‘Oh he’s great. I love him. He's a good singer 
and a nice guy,” or ‘Oh that guy's sickening. He thinks he’s so 
good.’ ~ Or they'd call me “Mr. Nice Guy” in a derisive way 
- like, “He's super-religious, [’m sure he’s a hypocrite - | 
don't like him.” Both Jann and [ realized that this was not a 
reaction to my music nearly as much as it was a reaction to my 
lifestyle. Which was just more and more unpopular as far as 
entertainment was concerned. 

There were some big sociologic changes since you had first 
hit. 

In the 60s, it was the rebel and the iconoclast, the potheads 
and the Flower Children -- the ones who would bum their 
draft cards and protest the war and just resist all kinds of 
establishment and authonty and say “Don't Trust Anybody 
Over 30.” Then here’s Pat Boone with his wife and his kids, 
going to church. and saying, “Yes. I'm opposed to 
pomography. [ don't think we need to use bad words in 
movies.” | was just an anachronism, a throwback to some 
bygone day and there were a lot of people and music critics 
that just decided that they’d had all of Pat Boone they wanted 
and more. It was lifestyle they were reacting negatively to, not 
my music. That had been very popular and successful. It 
touched a lot of people and covered a lot of bases. I even did 
a song [ wrote called, “Wish You Were Here Buddy.” It was 
a reaction to the war in Vietnam, but it wasn't like “we gotta 
get out of there” and railing at the government like a song that 
[ liked. “There's something happening here, what it is ain't 
exactly clear...” 

“For What It’s Worth” by Buffalo Springfield? 

Yeah that’s «. | appreciated some of those songs but | also 
appreciated the hundreds of thousands of young American 
guys and girls that when Uncle Sam said, “I want % put a 
uniform on you. | want to send you over there and whether 
we're ght or wrong about it — or deluded, defend 
Democracy and oppose dictatorship.” | supported the men and 
women already in uniform laying their lives on the line and 
getting no respect and actually being put down and vilified for 
doing what the government had called them to do. I thought, 
“This ts 

wrong. Why pull the rug out from under these people? They 
feel bad enough about being over there.” So, | wrote this song 
about one of the guys that's over there writing to his buddy, 
who had managed to avoid the draft and was having such a 
tough life with his demonstrations and so on, and the soldier 
says, “Man, { wish you were here. I'm livin’ in the jungle and 
duckin® real bullets and havin’ a wonderful time. Wish you 
were here.” But there was an irony in it. It became a big 
country hit, but then a guy named Mike Royko — a columnist in 
Chicago, delved into my own record and saw that I'd been not 
a draft resistor, but a conscientious objector during the Korean 
War. That was based on my religious conviction that [ could 
not train to kill. | went down and met with the draft board and 
said, “You can draft me, | will serve, but 1 want to serve as a 
medic. F'll go up on the front lines and risk my life, but I want 
to try and save lives rather than kill them. It’s a matter of 
consctence.” So. I was listed 1-S - one, student. Very 
draftable but [ was student and making good grades. so | 
never got drafted. But I was a conscientious objector, yet 
within the system. 

I think that’s a facet of your life not many of us knew about, 


Pat. - 
Yeah. Well then Royko, he saw some kind of hypocnsy or 


double-standard on the fact that I was Standing up tor the guys 
that were over there in uniform, and yet f had never served 
myself and had been a conscientious objector. He just didn’t 
get it and I had no chance to explain it to him. I would have 
gone had [ been drafted. | would've served. [ would defend 
my country, but I wasn't going to train to kill. [ just didn’t think 
i could. Now, [ think my philosophy has changed to the point 
where | could do that. Because having had kids now, my 
philosophy on a lot of things has changed. I would do this to 
protect my country, protect my kids, and other people's kids. 
Then I was just an unmarried college student in a Christian 
college and I did a lot of soul-searching and thought. “I can't 
conscientiously go in there and learn how to shoot rifles. drop 
bombs on somebody, and kill ‘em. I can‘t train to do it. but { 
would be a medic or serve in some other capacity.” But. yes. 
“Wish You Were Here Buddy” was a hit and then I did 


another song, I think it barely made the charts, “What If They 
Gave A War And No One Came?” it was based on a bumper 
sticker I'd seen and | think I wrote a really good song and 
recorded it. It was really a tongue-in-cheek anti-war song, but 
about war in the philosophical sense, not this particular one 
“What if a General barked the orders and all the privates 
yawned and sat around.” 

It’s a peace song? 

Yes, it’s really a song pleading for some alternatives to war in 
solving problems. Of course. I still believe in that strongly 
War is the most heinous thing human beings are capable of 
But when these people are out there laying their lives on the 
line for you. even if you think the policy is misguided, you 
should be willing to say, “We salute you. We thank you for 
what you're doing. | wouldn't do it maybe, because 
consctentiously, | couldn't. But if you can do it in good 
conscience, thank you.” 

How did people respond to the socially conscious Pat Boone? 
1 didn’t think it got noticed that much. That was when I was 
with the current. But if I was going against the tide and I was 
strongly anticommunist at a time when the “Better Red Than 
Dead” philosophy began spreading across college campuses, 
that’s why [ got exorcised about it. I said. “No. I'd take the 
reverse position. | say "Better Dead Than Red’.” { made a 
statement that Ronald Reagan quoted a few times. he didn’t 
attribute it to me, which was fine, but he heard me say it at a 
big anticommunist rally. | said that people who said “Better 
Red Than Dead” and were thinking that life wouldn't be that 
bad or different; they weren't realizing that there was such a 
big difference between a communist dictatorship and a 
democracy that we take for granted. Then [’d point out that 
under a communist regime, the Christian religion that we 
cherish, and for that matter Judeo-Christian religion, would be 
outlawed. It would become a crime to meet together to 
worship and that means that kids would be taught an atheistic 
non-God doctrine. So | made the statement, and my wife 
really shuddered and has never been happy that I've said this 
but, I said I'd rather see my kids blown into heaven - in an 
atomic blast if it came to that, than taught into hell under 
communism. Reagan quoted that a number of times, saying he 
once heard a young father say that. Well. I was the young 
father. But I meant it and I would take these ideological 
stands. Certainly, | hoped it would never come to such a 
choice, but I just felt that somewhere you just draw a line and 
say. “These are my values. These are the things I believe in 
and stake my life on and [I don’t want to see these things 
eroded, taken away, or surrendered through apathy and 
ignorance.” 

When an entertainer allies himself with any strong ideology 
or political stance, isn’t that usually the death kneil for his 
career? 

ft almost always is. John Wayne rose above it, he had plenty 
of people who gnashed their teeth when he spoke from a 
conservative point of view — but he was John Wayne. Frank 
Sinatra even had folks pull him away because he wanted to 
get into a fist-fight with John Wayne over some ideology they 
disagreed about. Of course that would've been very. very 
foolish on Frank's part. (Laughs) Frank was pretty tough but 
he was no match for the Duke. But yeah, I've had a number 
of actors say that their careers just dried up and went away 
when they took a conservative stance in liberal Hollywood. 








Henny de Pater 
Dutch Country DJ. Assoctation 
“Will, or Must, Pat Boone be inducted into 
the Rock and Rall Hall of Fame? Why not?? 
Like Elvis, he did a lot of sweet ballads. My 
old girlfriend loved that warm and tender 
voice, and by telling her that Pat Boone was 
MY favorite too (but then, what [ DIDN’T 
tell her was [ was really a Rocker at heart!). 
! scored many points and left other guys. 
who were after that same girl. far far behind 
me. That's why “good old “ Pat ought to be 
inducted: So that other people won't forget 
him either.” 
Bob Brainen 
DJ. WFMU-FM 
“[t's all relative, and there are people 
nominated and selected that have less to do 
with rock ‘n’ roll than him. As far as his 
place in the scheme of things. he was 
someone who watered down rock ‘n° roll, 
but | enjoy some of his records. so I'd say 
YES. For one. he put out a great record 
produced by Terry Melcher called “Beach 
Girl” in °64 (wntten by Melcher and Bruce 
Johnston, who also did backing vocals). 
The flip-side was “Littke Honda.” 
Beverly Paterson 
“Twist And Shuke” Mayazine 


“Yes, Pat Boone should be inducted in the 
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 
Simply on the basis of his heavy metal 
album from a few years ago!” 
Geoff Cabin 

“Rock Beat International” Magazine 
“[ am opposed to the entire concept of a 
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - music ts not a 
competitive sport where an individualls 
performance can be statistically measured 
against another individual ls performance 
[f we are going to have a Rock and Roll Hall 
of Fame, however, the answer to the 
question of whether Pat Boone should be 
inducted into it depends on what criteria is 
used for induction. 
I don’t know the actual criteria, but | would 
look at two things: 
(a) Did the person make any significant 
musical contribution to rock ‘n’ roll? 
(b) Did the person play a significant role in 
rock ‘n’ roll history? 

In the case of Pat Boone. the first 
question is easily answered. No, he did not 
make any significant musical contribution to 
rock ‘n’ roll. His only musical 
“contribution” was to record watered-down 
versions of songs originally recorded by Fats 
Domino and Little Richard for sale to the 
White teenage audience. If making a 
Significant musical contribution is the sole 
criteria for induction into the Rock and Roll 
Hall of Fame. Pat Boone definitely should 
not make it. 

If we go on to the question of whether Pat 
Boone played a significant role in rock *n’ 


roll history, however, things get much more 
difficult. The question of Pat Boone’s role 
in rock ‘a roll history is complicated by the 
emotionally-charged racial issues involved 





It is also a question that is particularly 
difficult for someone of my age (part of the 
"blank generation”) to assess in retrospect, 
given the fact that Boone has been all but 
wnitten out of rock ‘n’ roll history. 
On one hand, it can be argued that Pat 
Boone did play a positive role in rock ‘n’ 
roll history by exposing white teenagers to 
the music. On the other hand, it can be 
argued that Boone exploited and ripped off 
the music of black artists and had success 
that rightfully should have been theirs. 
Either way you look at it, however, there is 
no denying (as much as some people would 
like to) that Pat Boone did play a significant 
role in rock ‘n’ roll history. 
If the purpose of the Rock and Roll Hal! of 
Fame is to document rock ‘n’ roll history (as 
1 think it should be), then I think the Rock 
and Rol! Hall of Fame has to deal with Pat 
Boone.” 
Irwin Chusid 
“Songs In The Key Of Z™ 1 have a 
DEFINITE opinion on the matter. The 
answer, by the way, is Yes.” 
Jon Pressman 
The Voice of Butterscotr 
“HALL OF FAME!!! YESYESYES!!! 
PAT BOONE!!! GO GO GOOO!!!" 


Andrew Gold, 

The Fraternal Order Of The All 
“Sure. Why not? Because he’s a 
square? Besides, he wrote the words 
to my Dad's hit of the theme from 
Exodus (“This Land Is Mine”).” 

Brett Milano 
Bosstown journalist 
“Yes, but only by virtue of 
that cocktail version of “Stairway to 
Heaven" he did a few years ago.” 
Henry Harrison 
International Rock-A-Bullv Hall Of Fame 
“Certainly, Pat has made a magnificent 
contnbution to our national and international 
musical achievements. Pat is still one on my 
all ume favontes!” 
Kim Ahern 
Publisher. Blues Connection 
“Certainly anyone with 50 hit records 
deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. There 
are a lot of one-hit-wonders out there. His 
credentials have absolutely eamed honors.” 
Patrick Wall Jr. 
Jerry Lee Lewis webpage / Roots music 
researcher 
“Yes. There was a lot more blues in Pat’s 
style than that of Guy Mitchell, Charlie 
Gracie, or many others of that ilk. I prefer to 
think of rock'n'roll as a Pop derivation of 
the blues. In that light, Pat Boone was an 
essential rocker of the mid-50s.” 
Gary Pig Gold 
Fanzine Legend / producer, To M‘lou Music 
“I truly believe Pat Boone should be 
inducted towards the Rock And Roll Hall Of 
Fame immediately. 
I believe this for several reasons...not the 
least of which is his absolutely stunning 
rendition of “Hoboken Baby,” which I still 


Is that really true, Pat? I don’t live there so I don’ 

Hollywood predominantly liberal? paced 
Oh my goodness, yeah. It is overwhelmingly liberal. Of 
course, I’ve had actors and comedians, people like Jonathan 
Winters and Steve Allen say, “I’m with you guys 
philosophically but I don't dare say it because [ would get no 
job offers at all if 1 said what you said. And frankly I don’t 
know how you're surviving.” It has hurt; there have been 
movies, TV appearances, TV shows, all kinds of opportunities 
that [ know I've been passed over for because there’s a 
resistance to my ideological stance. I keep trying to tell 
Ee aioies ask i ve U believe, I'll tell you.” Like in the 

ipargn against hard-core triple-X pomography here i 

California, Proposition 18. This would've deines whal 
hardcore pomography was to give law enforcement more of a 
grip on prohibiting these things and punishing things like 
women with animals, pedophilia and snuff films. Of course the 
wording of the measure was pretty salacious reading itself, but 





ed 


it had to be specific so law enforcement could say there is no 
redeeming social importance or relevance. That's young girls 
being paid to do these things and then profiting, and J did take 
a stance against it. However, the industry was overwhelmingly 
opposed to 18 and they kept screaming. “Censorship! They 
even got John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and others to do ads. 
John Wayne's ad said, “Look pilgrim, I don't like 
pornography but I'm against censorship.” So, I called him on 
the phone and said. “Duke. who told you that Proposition 18 is 


censorship? It simply gives local communities a chance to 
forbid the public viewing, for kids and others, of hardcore 
triple-X pomography. How can you be opposed to that?” He 
had been told that a little grandmama in Pasadena could say, 
“E don’t like the movie True Grit because John Wayne says 
‘damn’ in tt.” [ said, “Who gave you this information? Who 
gave you your legal opinion?” He said, “Well. from my 
friends over at Universal, Lew Wasserman and everybody.” | 
said, “Do you know they're spending millions to defeat this 
measure because to them anything that cramps their style. 
anything that puts limits on what they can say in a movie 
prohibits them from breaking anymore taboos they don’t like. 
They don’t want to have to act responsibly: they just don't 
want any restraints at all. So, who do you think is going to give 
you a fair assessment? Did you know that Governor Reagan, 
the judges and law enforcement people are all 
overwhelmingly in favor of this?” And he didn't. Nobody told 
him. So then he got them to retract, take his spot off the air, but 
it had already done the damage. But the fact that I was an 
entertainer saying, “We don’t have to be involved in the 
pornography business, we don't even have to be threatened by 
anti-pomography legislation,” has not made me popular 
among the movers and shakers out here. 

Yet you continue to work. 

Yes, because the demand was there from middle America. 
From audiences that wanted to see and hear me and the TV 
things, Christian television and so on, I've maintained contact 
and a profile with millions of people that weren't being totally 
dictated to by the hirers and firers out here. But the whole 
entertainment industry is taken over by the very liberal 
mindset that doesn’t want to be restricted in any way. I think 
they’re blind to the responsibilities that come with the 
freedoms that we've had. From time to time | quote the great 
Ben Franklin, who wasn't a religious fanatic at all - 


5] 





find myself humming every time I try to find 
parking space within this increasingly 
yuppie-infested, once quaint little adopted 
hometown of mine.” 
Gary King 
Editor of "Oldies Newsletter” 

“As much as I am really not a PAT BOONE 
fan (but [ do like a lot of his songs), f would 
have to admit that since he did have 50 
charted hits, it would qualify him for being 
into the R&R Hall of Fame 


























































CON 
Peter Noone 


Herman's Hermits. 
‘Sure. Why not? Because he’s a before 


Davy Jones from the Monkees and Tommy 
Lasorda. who surely are more to do with 
rock ‘n° roll than Pat Boone, I will make 
Little Jimmy Osmond the editor of "Q 
Magazine." 
Chad Stuart 
Chad & Jeremy 
“WHY PAT BOONE SHOULD NOT BE 
INDUCTED INTO THE ROCK AND 
ROLL HALL OF FAME: 
Because he didn't make a genuine 
contnbution to the art form. 
Because he made records which were a pale 
imitation of the genuine article. 
Because he never poured his heart and soul 
into his recordings. 
Because he was a pop singer, and they don't 
count. (The “pop” hall of fame, maybe.)” 
Billy Lee Riley 
Sun Records Legend 

“[ don't think he does, to be honest with 
you. I don't think it’s necessanly how many 
hit records you have that gets you in there. I 
think the induction should be based on 
whether the artist's contribution 1s a 
milestone for rock'n'roll or not. That's the 
way I look at it. 1’m not anti-Pat Boone, I 
just don't think he belongs in the Hall Of 
Fame.” 

Linda Gail Lewis 

Sire Recordings Artist / Jerry Lee's sister 

“Well Darlin’, Pat’s a great guy with a 
lovely voice. I really liked his record of 
‘Love Letters In The Sand,” but he's just not 
rock'n'roll. Why anyone would even think 
of putting him in the Rock'n'Roll Hali Of 
Fame is more than | can imagine.” 

Barbara Pittman 

Sun Records Legend 

“No, I don’t believe so. When I saw him do 
‘Tutti Frutti’ | said, ‘Man if I was Little 
Richard I'd cut his hands off.’ I"m sure he’s 
a very nice man but he is not rock'n'roll. He 
wasn't even good pop. | don't know him 
personally and I'm certainly not going to 
judge his character or anything. I think he’s 
funny though. I thought that heavy metal 
outfit he wore a few years back — I thought it 


was great to have that kind of nerve 
Joe! Selvin 


Music Journalist 
“I've heard Boone's rap on this -- about the 
importance of the popularizer, as well as the 


innovator -- my problem is that his God- 





|awful records don't hold up. His "Tutti 
Frutti” is embarrassing, where Bill Haley's 
version of "Rip To Up” probably out-rocks 
Little Richard (heresy, shame). I say vote for 
Fabian. When it comes to phony rock and 
rollers, he's the real deal.” 
Marc Bristol 
Blue Suede News 
“Not with Ritchie Valens & Buddy Knox 
out. But perhaps he has a place there. for 
having given the white bread kids a bit of 
rock they could hang their hats on, while 
they were on their way to discovering the 
REAL rock'n'roll. The Hall! is really more of 
a way to promote the business than a way to 
honor “tounding fathers & mothers”, and 
everyone should keep that in perspective. 
Blue Suede News is a way to honor the 
founding fathers & mothers, Buying their 
recordings and playing them is an even 
better way.” 
Gary Graff 
MustcHound Rock Guide 
“He does not. Hit records do not necessarily 
translate into status for the rock and roll hall 
of fame. While pat's commercial 
accomplishments were impressive, he was 
not a rock and roll artist in any way, shape 
or form. In fact, he willingly and quite 
outspokenly took part in a sanitation of the 
form. Granted, there are some folks in the 
rock and roll hail of fame who are not, by 
strict definition, rock and roil, the beauty of 
rock and roll, however, is that it has no stnct 
definition. lt encompasses attitude, impact 
and outlook. too. But by any count 
imaginable, Pat Boone was not a rock and 
roll artist.” 
Jake Austen 
Roctober 
“[ say no on Pat in the hal!, but 
I'd also put him on equal plane with Buffalo 
Springfield as far as tmportance and 
greatness, so I'm obviously not on the same 
page as Cleveland.” 
Buddy Woodward 
Musictan — Nuro Express 
“Now how ‘bout these people here: Charlie 
Rich, Ronnie Hawkins. James Burton, 
Johnny Ray. Kingston Trio, Ernie K-Doe. 
The Move. Don Covay, Major Lance, 
Solomon Burke. Waylon Jennings. Zombies, 
Hollies, Esther Phillips. Gene Chandler, 
Sonny Boy Williamson (both of ‘em), Jerry 
Butler, Ventures, The Guess Who. Lee 
Dorsey, W.C. Handy, T Bone Walker, Merle 
Travis, Little Junior Parker, Al Hendrickson. 
Allan Lomax, Moon Mullican, Charlie 
Christian. Blind Lemon Jefferson, Ma 
Rainey, Dixie Hummingbirds. Otis 
Blackwell, Mickey Baker, Bobby Charles, 
Huey “Piano” Smith, Alexis Komer, Doug 
Sahm, Johnny Jenkins & the Pinetoppers. 


Tennessee Ernie Ford, Hank Snow. Buck 
Owens. Johnny Ace, Sid King et. al. If just 


ONE of the artists in this list is not tn the 
Hall of Fame, ol’ Bland Eyes can just cool 
his heels in the parking lot, right along with 
Sopwith Camel, The (910 Fruitgum Co., 
and Mrs. Miller!” 










(Chuckles.) But Franklin said, “Only a moral and virtuous 
people are capable of freedom and the more corrupt and 
ViclOUS a society becomes the more it has need of Masters.” 
So, he saw very wisely, our founding fathers did too, that a 
basically moral, virtuous people guided by Judeo-Chnistian 
Ponciples can actually sustain a free Society. But if they're not 
going to be personally and collectively moral, that after a 
while the liberties get stretched so far they become license 
and then eventually just chaos will ensure. Then, the whole 
bist fabric, which gave it its strength and identity, will just 
perish. 

Concerning your image. During your career you've shown 
signs that you enjoy making fun of yourself the way you did 
in Perils Of Pauline, which I thought was a very funny 
movie. 

I think so. That was supposed to be a TV series it just didn't 
get picked up. J think if it had been shown on a weekly basis. 
we'd of had a hit. 

Is it the ultimate show-biz inclination to play against type? 
At least for some of us, I don’t know that it’s always the case 
Not everybody wants to leave something that is familiar and 
successful and take a big, big chance on doing something elise. 
But there is a temptation for a lot of us to say. “Hey. | can do 
more than what you think.” Of course. [ve always been 
rather danng that way. always willing to take on stuff that 
maybe | shouldn't have. Just because it interests me. I think it 
might be fun, and I can rise to the challenge. I'll take on 
different types of projects, 

What was your big challenge as an actor, Pat? 

Well, to not only be believable in the part but also to have the 
emotional depth and the ability to portray that. { got into 
Serious acting classes at the Neighborhood Playhouse with 
Sandy Meisner in New York. I did take some drama at 
Columbia when I was there. Then | got with a coach out here 
in 

California named Jeff Corey. These are guys who trained 
some of the best actors and actresses. So, when | would do a 
role, | wasn’t trying to just play Pat Boone. although Tom 
Cruise is always Tom Cnuise, and Jimmy Stewart was always 
Jimmy Stewart. You don’t refer to them as the person they're 
playing: you refer to them as Tom Cruise or Jimmy Stewart, or 
Rodney Dangerfield. But, [ tried to really be the person. For 
me, that was the fun of making movies, to be somebody else, 
and do things that maybe Pat Boone wouldn't. 

You started your own movie production company, didn’t 
you? 

We had a name, Coogo-Mooga Films, but that was just name 
because I participated in the gross sales of that film after 
recoupment. That was during Joumey To The Center Of the 
Earth, and [ had the great thnll and fun of Seeing this 
ndiculous name that I had borrowed from a DJ in Philadelphia 
named Jocko Henderson. He was an r&b DJ and he always 
rolled his R's when he pronounced the name of his show, 
“The R-r-r-rocket ship!” He said. “This is vour r-f-f-ace fr-r- 
rom outer space. Jocko with the gr-r-reatest show on the r-r- 
radio. Gr-r-reat gr-r-reat cooga moogo! Yes, it’s gr-r-reat! 
So, I took the phrase “Cooga-Mooga”™ as the name of my 
production company for TV and movies. Really, I think we 

th 
only participated in two films, but 20 Century Fox had to put 
th 

up on the screen in gold letters: 20 Century Fox in 
Association with Cooga-Mooga Films. | would just’ die 
- laughing when I'd see that. 

You have a bit of a subversive sense of humor, don’t you? 

I do, I do. You know I also had a name for my record 
production company, and if you look on the labels of several 
of my hits you'll see “Agoom-Agooc.” Which is Cooga- 
Mooga spelled backwards and it actually had real material 
value. They had to treat it like a company because it was, but 
we had Cooga-Mooga and Agoom-Agooc. So. yeah I've 
always wanted to have fun with this and not take any of it any 
more seriously than it needed to be and not everybody 
understands that. 

In the end, is it all just show-biz? 

Yeah! It’s show-biz, it’s having fun for a while, and to me it’s 
always been a means to an end. I love the singing and | love 
the recording more than any part of show business. When [ 
can go into a studio and get in front of a mike, that to me is the 
essence of why I wanted to be an entertainer. It’s the moment. 
it’s the interpreting of a song, it’s the pounng of emotion into 
that interpretation. trying to come up with something classy 
and good or fun or pretty. That’s the challenge and what | 
love best. 

When I saw you a few years ago, Standing next to Alice 
Cooper and wearing the leather vest and no shirt, the first 
thing I said was, “Man, that guy’s in good shape for 60.” 
Then I remarked, “He’s playing against type, what a crack 
up.” I was laughing. But some people in the Christian 
broadcasting community did not react the same way. 

No, it was too big of a shock. 

They don’t know about your humor, do they? 

Not really, not that dimension anyway They may know I have 
a sense of humor, but this looked for all the world, particularly 





Jon Sievert 

Hunible Press 
“I was a teenager during the Boone plague, 
and I say he shouldn't even be allowed to 
visit the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. Pat 
Boone was the ultimate anti rock-and-roll 
figure, created by record companies for the 
sole purpose of shielding white America 
from the likes of Fats and Little Richard. 
while ripping them off. And his music really 
sucked. which should be the ultimate criteria 
for determining worthiness ” 











Aime 
Dionysus Records 
“T think that someone like Steve Marnott or 
Pete Townsend who pioneered a sound. way 
of life and brought soul, definitely belongs 
there before Pat Boone does.” 
Deke Dickerson 
Musician - The Eocofonics 
"Pat Boone never did anything original 
Why don't they finish inducting the REAL 
rock and rollers who sull aren't in the Hall of 
Fame before even considering Ivy League 
pretenders like Mr Boone?” 
Rich Horton 
Optional Art Records 

Pat's was instrumental in exposing 
thousands (millions?) of American teenagers 
to “real” rock'n'roll, For one. he knew a 
good song when he heard one. Second. he 
had the guts to record music that had 
hitherto been “forbidden” to white 
mainstream pop singers. Third, when the 
Original artists whose material he'd covered 
finally did appear on the scene, they had 
already been provided with as good an 
introduction as they could get--with the 
stamp of approval from the unthreatening 
and unfailingly polite Pat Boone. Does Pat 
belong tn the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame for 
this? Not on artistic grounds, perhaps. But 
give him an honorable menuon plaque or 
credit him along with the other folks, tike 
Alan Freed and Sam Phillips) They all 
introduced us to the music and made sure it 
was heard by millions of American teens 
who were dipping their toes into the rock ‘n’ 
roll ocean for the first ume.” 


John Sinclair 
Managing Editor, BLUES ACCESS 
“Pat Boone was a major bugaboo of my 
youth. He covered great records by my 
favorite artists -- “Tutti Frutti” and “Long 
Tall Sally” by Little Richard. the 
magnificent “Two Hearts” by Otis Williams 
& the Charms on DeLuxe. and [ can't 
remember what else -- before he found his 
true niche in the marketplace with "Love 
Letters in the Sand” and other sappy tunes 
like that. A precursor of guys like Bobby 
Darin and Paul Anka. he and his producers 
at Dot Records simply used rock & roll 
tunes to bring this matinee idol-type creep to 
the attention of the public. Bobby Darin at 
least made a couple of good rock & roll 
tecords like "Splish Splash” before entering 
the entertainment mainstream of the time. 
but Pat Boone NEVER made a good record. 


(regres ter er oar a eee | 


And you can quote me on that! Here's a 
poem with my take on this issue: 


“the Screamers” 
for kenny schooner 


stagger down overgrown sidewalks 
of memory. giving hand & 
giggling. (earth angel, bow i long 


for you. where you been, all these 
years, Johnny Ace, with a bole 
in his head. where you gwine, 


ivory Joe? or those stupid white 
imitations, the Crewcuts, jive Pat 
Boone, stealin’ their songs. Shh- 


Boom. Two Hearts. Chuck Berry. 
Jimmy Reed. “I walk 47 miles 
of barb wire. I use a cobra snake 


for a neck tie. | got a bran/new house 
by the road side, made from 
rattle snake hide.“ o you really 


really send me, baby, you 
got to go fo’ me or I'll 
beaf yo ass. who 


do you love (weird lullabies. “broken 
hearts.” long long & 
lonely mghts. for your 


precious love, | wd have drank 
gasoline. & ail | wanted 
was a little water. where | came from 


mysterious ofays of the imagi- 
nation. why you aren't here 
with me. old gang. beer 


dnnkers, bulk 
shitters. Where 
did you go” 


Detroit 
march 16. 1965 
after lero jones 


= ee 
————— 


As far as the Rock Hall is concerned, it 
doesn't matter to me who they put in there, 
the whole thing is a typically bullshit 
creation of the mental and moral midgets 
who run the recording industry. In that 
sense, [ guess Pat Boone would be an 
important addition to the ranks of Rock Hall 
immortals.” 

Jason Shields 

Texas Jamboree 
“f don't think he belongs. There are 
countless others that deserve the honor 
before him. The fact he re-recorded and 
made hits of already existing songs is just 
like plagiansm. [ think he helped promote 
the rock and rol! music to a “larger” amount 
of white kids, but his versions took out the 
raw energy that was rock and roll. Most 
white kids were already diggin’ the sound of 
RnR. His versions are really not rock and 
roll though, they are pop versions of real 
rock and roll songs. 
The real problem of The Rock and Roll Hall 
of Fame ts the term rock 
and roll is too vast now, so in (me people 


ee ees 


the way it was played up on television and in the papers, that | 
had gone into Heavy Metal and was changing my image 
completely. Dick Clark said they had never had anything that 
created such an international stir in all the history of the 
American Music Awards. 

A lot of people still don’t understand that all you did was 
take some Heavy Metal tunes and redid them Pat Boone 
style. 

Exactly. [ had done that years before with an Elvis album. 
I'm so proud of that album because it’s light jazz, where the 
Metal album was big band jazz really and rock. The Elvis 
thing was light, tasty jazz treatments of his big, big hits. It was 
Just too soon for both his fans and mine to be doing what really 
was a tribute to him. He was a friend and we were both sall 
around doing weil, and we called it Pat Sings Guess Who? 
because Tom Parker wanted to actually charge us an extra 
royalty for the use of Elvis’s name. Randy Wood was going to 
scrap the album, as good as we both feit it was, because he 
wasn't going to pay Elvis or Tom Parker a royalty to put 
Elvis’s name in the title. I said, “Randy, fet’s just call it Par 
sings Guess Who?” Then I wrote the back liner and made up 
a bunch of stuff about my friend “Guess Whosely.” (Laughs.) 
So, P've been having that kind of fun and inventing some 
things all along. 

What other things have you done like that? 

Once, I was very unhappy and chagrined about the fact that 
everything was disco. Unless you were doing these really 
repetitive things with a disco feel you didn’t have a chance. 
So, I got with a producer named Norm Rattner and a guy 
named Bob Gilpin who had a disco record called “Superstar.” 
which was doting extremely well both in Europe and this 
country. It was my idea to take some standards like “Night and 
Day” and do them disco-style; we quadrupled my voice and 
threw in every disco gimmick we could think of. We were 
going to shop it around to a record label as a group called 
TBA. Really, we felt came up with a couple of hit singles. 
They really did a great job; I did a good job of singing. Norm 
took it over to Uni Records, and they flipped. They said, “Hey, 
this is great! Who is this? Where’d you find this group?” 
Norm said, “Oh, it’s just some new young guys.” He was 
going along with it and they were going to put it out. ! hoped it 
would be a hit. Eventually, I'd have Dick Clark announce, 
“And tomorrow we've got TBA and their big hit "Night and 
Day’.” Then, he'd open a curtain and there'd be Pat Boone 
singing the song. It didn't happen because just when we were 
about to put it out, there was a headline: “Disco Is Dead!” 
Somebody declared that disco had had it. So Un: dropped the 
project. Is amazing the lemming instinct that does prevail 






























































like Metallica, Madonna, 
Backstreet Boys, Celene Dion, and the like 
will be in there. If you go by 

what the “Hall” considers RnR they he will 


be there, but to people who love 
real RnR knows that the “hall” is a lame 


excuse to the music we all love.” 

Tony Wilkinson 
American Music Magazine 
“Pat Boone was a product of his time - a 
crooner trying {o get to gnps with rock ‘n’ 
roll. He was the half way house in getting 
the big beat acceptable to 2 mass audience 
before the southern boys took over. His 
records were well crafted but lacked emotive 
feel and spint”. 

James Richard Oliver 

Ilbilly Records 
“HONESTLY, WHEN [ THINK OF PAT 
BOONE. ROCK N’' ROLL IS NOT THE 
FIRST THING TO COME TO MIND.” 

Phil Kaufman 

Road Mangler Deluxe 

“Pat Boone? Pop Hall Of Fame ...or the 
White Buck Shoe Hail. But NEVER Rock 
‘n’ Roll’ (P.S.: Where is the “ROADIE 
Hall" ?)" 

Jeff Tamarkin. 

Former editor, “Goldmine” Magazine 
“Of course not, but I don’t believe James 
Taylor should've been either. Neither one ts 
a rock *n’ roll singer.” 

Stephanie Chernikowski 
World-renowned photographer (...who 
actually once received a kiss from the PRE- 
ARMY Elvis!) 

“Absolutely not. He is not rock ‘n’ roll.” 
Joe Viglione, 
The “Count” 
“Pat Boone - no!” 
Tommy Womack 
Author, Cheese Chronicles 
“No, no, no, no and HELL no.” 
Domenic Priore 
Sunset Strip Historian 
“No. Unless Phil Collins gets in. Because 
they are equals.” 
Lee Greenfeld 
“Sound Views” Muguzine 
“Well no. but... he DID manage The 
Leaves!!!" 
Lisa Mychols 


The Masticators 
“The fact that Pat Boone even had even 


an inkling of a thought of changing “Ain't 
That A Shame" to "iSN’T That A 
Shame” makes me wonder if he even 
knows what rock 'n’ roll is! When rock 
‘n’ roll was fresh, new, and exciting... 
where was he? He was singing Adult 
Contemporary! He wanted to make that 

J. D. Considine 

music journalist 
“What a non-issue. Seriously, Donny 
Osmond has a better shot of getting in 
than he does. it isn't just because he's 
a joke now -- he was a joke back then, 













when people actually bought his 
records. A better question would be why 
Black Sabbath has been nominated 
three times and still hasn't gotten in. But 
that, | suppose, is another poll.” 
Phil Angotti 
The Idea 

“No, absolutely not. He doesn't have a rock 

‘n’ roll bone (boone) in his body.” 

Mick Farren 
Dog: Poet at the Cathouse 

| “My first instinct was no, never: It would be 
f insult to Little Richard RICHARD 
BOONE did more for rock ‘n' roll as far as 
| [m concerned, But then | thought, yeah. 
why not? [t only shows the RRHOF as the 
dumb hype tounst trap farce it really is. 
Jaduct Tim, The 
Chipmunks, One String Sam, Frank 
| Stallone, The Big Bopper. [ mean, where's 

Syd Barrett, or Roky Erikson, and did they 

ever get round to Gene Vincent? 








everyone! Tiny 


I can't 





, even keep up wath the self-congratulatory 
Its the Paul Shaffer world and | 
don't go there.” 


honsense 





Kim Cooper 
| “Seram” Magazine 
I don't think he belongs in the 
| Hall of Fame, but then many of the past 





inductees don't either, and his entry would at 
least inspire debate 
His fifties’ recordings presumably generated 





royalties for some deserving folks and 
helped ease the mass acceptance of rock 
songwriting. And you gotta admit, that 
| heavy metal phase was a hoot 
| Rob Morgan 


“Poplust” Magazine 








| “2 words; “FUCK NO"! No further 
explanation necessary'” 
Bill Kelly 
DJ. WFMU-FM 


“[ LIKE several of Pat Boone's songs. But I 
| don't think he belongs in the Rock and Roll 
) Hall of Fame. because his appeal and 

Presentation was decidedly “pop” and not 

rock ‘n’ roll.” 


Carl Cafarelli 
Writer, and co-host (with Dana Bonn) wy 


This ts Rock ‘n' Roll Radio on WXXE-FM. 
Syracuse, NY 

“No. i'm tempted to add “Absolutely not!,” 
but I'm aware of the arguments in Boone's 
favor, Give ‘im his due: he did help to 
popularize many classic R & B tunes with 
his wretched, whitebread covers of “Tutti 
Frutu,” “Ain't That A Shame," “Long Tall 
Sally." et al. But his bloodless covers were 
hits at the expense of the vastly Superior 
versions by the likes of Little Richard and 
Fats Domino. 

Proponents for Boone's induction into the 
Rock Hall claim that his covers of these 
great early rock 'n’ roll records were pivotal. 
since segregated white radio stations would 
Mever have played the 
originals: 


“race-music” 
Boone's versions therefore 
brought the songs to an audience that would 


en 











otherwise never have heard that ol’ “A-wop- 
bop-a-lo0-bop-a-lop-bam-boom!” The 
claim has some validity: I reject it 
nonetheless. Boone's records were never 
intended to spread the gospel of rock ‘n’ roll 
orR & B--they were intended to dilute the 
music’s power, to make it safe for White 
America and, oh yeah, make a big pile of 
money while effectively shutting out the 
black guys who created this transcendent 
music to begin with. 

Apartheid should not be rewarded. J don’t 
hold Boone personally responsible for the 
inherent racism of his early. ersatz rock ‘n’ 
roll success. But nor do I see any good 
reason to consider him a rock ‘n‘ roll 
















pioneer, nor even a rock ‘n’ roller of any 
description or distinction. And there's 
certainly no good reason for him to be 1n the 
Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.” 

Yvon Bonneville 
Editor/Publisher, Jerry Lee Lewis Canadian 
Fan Club Newsletter 
“No, not as far as I’m concerned. Why? 
Because I believe that Pat Boone was a 
crooner, or a pop artist, not a rocker. Even if 
he did take a stab at a few rock songs does 
not necessarily make him eligible for 
induction into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. 
To better illustrate take the song, "Miss 
You" by the Rolling Stones which was their 
contribution to Disco....1f there was a Disco 
Hall of Fame you can be sure that The 
Stones would never be inducted or even 
nominated for that matter just because they 
took a stab at the Disco movement....bottom 


line is that the Stones are ROCKERS. 
[n spite of all that I've said Pat 


Boone will probably be nominated one day 
for induction into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of 
Fame because those running the show there 
base their choice on the number of Hits an 
artist has had in his, her or their career. For 
this same reason artists like Ronnie 
Hawkins, Charlie Rich, Jack Scott, Billy Lee 
Riley and Sonny Burgess are not already in 
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where they 
should already be. Imagine. Sonny Burgess 
has been rockin’ for almost 50 years now 
and he has practically no chance of ever 
even being nominated for the R&R Hall of 
Fame, and the same goes for Billy Lee 
Riley. Don’t get me wrong, I like Pat Boone 
and have many of his records but HE'S A 
CROONER NOT A ROCKER. 
Spider 
Ripsaw Records 
“t liked ‘Don’t Forbid Me’ but for the 
most part | thought his other records 
were pretty lame.” 
Analysis 

As [ see it, there are (wo interesting factors 
here. One, how many respondents actually 
have little or no respect for the Rock'n'Roll 
Hall Of Fame in Cleveland. Two. how big a 
split exists between the attitude of the 
writer/historian types and the actual artists 
of the 50s. 















































54 


here in show-biz. First they all imitate each other if somebody 
clicks with something. Then, at some point when something 
scares them, “Whoops it's over” Then they all fly away and 
try to find the next thing they can all do exactly alike 

Have you ever recorded under any other name? 

No. TBA was the only one. Of course, I've really toyed with 
the idea. That would’ve been really fun to do something 
outlandish and unlike me, then hopefully tut with it and when 
somebody found out see how they deal with it. Out-Elvis Elvis. 
that kind of thing. 

What’s the secret to surviving forty-five years in show biz? 
Well. when I was being interviewed in Australia and they 
asked me about how I reacted to sudden fame [ said, “I think I 
handled it quite well because [ was healthy. | was marred. | 
was having kids. and I was living a clean life.” {t just sort of 
came out that way, I wasn't bragging in any way. because for 
some people that's nothing to brag about. (Laughs.) But, | was 
thinking back and being analytucal about how I did handle the 
kind of stuff that could really destroy a marnage. a family. 
and even a2 person's identity. But, | was healthy. well 
grounded. and my basic Itving and eating habits were good. so 
I was able to take most of anything that happened in stride. 
Not only that, | was able to understand why it was happening 
[ also knew how much hard work it all was, I enjoyed it. the 
rewards were termfic but | knew it wasn't automatic. | knew | 
had to work hard and take advantage of the opportunities or 
pretty soon it would be somebody else's time 

Some of your contemporaries obviously didn't share your 
view, aS a result they ended up not only injuring their 
careers, but long-term health as well. I’m glad we've never 
seen a headline that read: “Pat Boone Caught In Drug 
Bust’ or something. 





Rhino’s Boone CD 


The writer/historian types make the biggest 
and harshest case against Boone's induction. 
Even those who voted “yes seem to damn 
him with faint pratse and ridicule the very 
question. By contrast, musicians are strongly 
in favor of “Mr. White Buck Shoes” being 
Boone s 


inducted Moreover, 
contemporaries overwhelmingly believe 
induction into the Rock Hall to be a genuine 
and sincere honor, and that Boone 1s worthy 

At this point it is important to note that we 
tried to get votes and commentary from 
Little Richard, Fats Domino and his 
collaborator/producer Dave Bartholomew 
As Hall Of Fame artists who were affected. 
possibly even enriched by the cover version 
trend, a ves or no from any of these men 
would certainly carry a tot of weight, 
Unfortunately we got no further than 
and answering 


publicists. managers, 


machines. Likewise. calls to Jerry Lee Lewis 
and Bo Diddley went unanswered. 

Fats Domino's brother-in-law Reggie Hat 
told us Domino doesn’t like to make public 
comment and would probably say he thinks 
everyone belongs in the Hall Of Fame 





. ——————— Ew 
- = 


Generous idea, but not exactly a vote one 
way of the other 

So. 1s there a solution? Not based on this 
survey. The Rock Hall crowd certainly 
wouldn't be swayed by a vote this divided, 
even on a wider scale. As a result. it seems 
Pat Boone's best shot at induction would 
come whenever the Rock Hall took a up 
from the Baseball Hall Of Fame in 
Cooperstown and instituted an Old-Timer’s 
Committee Of course that would mean 
ceding power and prestige to a group not 
heavily tred to either the museum or the 
mayor labels that support it. 

The guess here ts that Mr. Boone is in for a 
bit of a wait 

What Is The Author's Stance On This 
Issue? 

This may shock my fellow R&B-aficionados 
and Sun Records-addicts but “Yes. | think 
Pat Boone deserves induction into the 
Rock'n’ Roll Hall Of Fame in Cleveland.” 

I'd say that Boone wouldn't qualify for 
induction if the Rock Hall had set the 
following rules 

All 30s inductees must rock in a stvle simular 
to Jerry Lee Lewis. Chuck Berry. Lutle 


Sa. 
~ =~ 
Se 

ty 


Richard. Elvis Presley. etc. 

The muste of all inductees should still sound 
hike rock nrall out of contert of the era in 
which uw was produced 

All inductees must personify the “bad boy" 
aspect of rock'n'roll and should have an 
arrest record or receipts from the Betty 
Ford Clinic to prove it 

However, no such rules exist! 

As stated by the Hall's own website 
(www. rockhall.com/hof/process.asp). the 
rules for a performer's induction are pretty 
simple 

“Artists become eligible for induction 25 
years after the release of thetr first record. 
Criterta include the influence and 
significance of the artist's contributions to 
the development and perpetuation of rock 
and roll.” 

That's all’ ft doesn't say “except Pat 
Boone.” or “except Herman's Hermits.” or 
even “except the Archies“ It also doesn’t 
say anything about guys with squeaky-clean 
| images or practicing conservative Christians 
not being inducted 

Boone advanced the cause of rock’n'roll’s 
commercial prospects, making it possible 
for the down and diny stuff we cultists like 
to get what litle exposure it did. His early 
successes were decidedly rock'n'roll in the 
context of the era’s playlists and he was the 
music's first true teen idol. In addition, he 
made rock'n'roll acceptable at a me when 
singing black-oriented music was a severe 
risk for a white artist. He sold tons of 
records that helped establish a new industry. 
in the process turning rock'n'roll into a 
legitimate branch of show business. All of 





You know, that would've been something. Everyone would've 
gotten over it but 1 would've been just another victim - 
because | really think that's what happens, just the same as 
somebody who's dnving and doesn’t make the curve. It 
doesn't make him a bad guy - he just wasn't watching what he 
was doing and before you know it, that car is tumbling down 
the full. It was always around in this business | guess. but 
drugs particularly didn't really start happening untl [ had 
already gotten well established. Now Elvis got into those 
things, as did a lot of performers. and of course dmnking. 
which | was never into, was also automatic. [ never even 
learned to cuss. (Laughs.) 

You're still pretty busy these days, aren’t you? 

Well. yes. I'm a spokesman for the United Seniors 
Association. I've got my fingers in so many ptes. I've 
reached a time in life when the things f think of that somebody 
ought to be doing -- { actually have the ume and the resources 
to do them. So, I initiate things and get involved with other 
people's projects. and sometimes | meet myself coming and 
going. I need to be tnplets! (Laughs.) 

What are some of your upcoming plans? 

[‘ve just done an album with the LA Jumor Philharmonic, a 
120-piece youth orchestra. Nobody had ever done an aibum 
with this sixty-year old organization, featunng the best of 
Southem California's young musicians. Ths movie. Mr. 
Holland's Opus has a real life counterpart in Emst Katz. he's 
eighty four years old. and he started this thing in his twenties. 
He's seen it through all these years. trained thousands of 
young musicians, conducted the orchestras, had the 
arrangements wniten, and involved a lot of show business 
people as guest conductors for these free concerts. And, 
nobody ever did a record or an album with them. So. | funded 
it and [’ve just heard the master yesterday. and oh man - 
we've got a good album. I do new arrangements of “Chanots 
OF Fire.” Revel'’s “Bolero” interspersed with Spanish love 
songs. Neil Diamond's “Story Of My Life.” “The End Of 
Time.” Perry Como’s great old song, but with beautful 
symphonic arrangements. Then, several songs that ['ve 
written like “[ Had A Dream.” which was based on Martin 
Luther King's famous speech. But they then do some 
orchestral pteces themselves. finishing with the best recording 
of George Gershwin’s “Rhapsody In Blue” I've ever heard. | 
think we're going to have a tremendous album. 

Your friend Prewitt Rose told me you had another project 
coming up as well. 

f also just finished an r&b classics album doing number one 
r&b/pop hits with the onginal performers. “Tears Of A 
Clown” with Smokey Robinson, “Can't 

Help Myself” with the Four Tops. “Get Down Tonight” with 
KC & The Sunshine band, “Celebration” with Kool & the 
Gang, “Way Of The World” with Earth. Wind. and Fire. 
“Soul Man” with Sam Moore. And - the piece de resistance 
“Papa's Got A Brand New Bag” with James Brown! He's 
singing, “Hey-hey, Pat's got a brand new bag" Those two 
albums, they sort of symbolize my whole career. On one hand 
[ get down with KC & The Sunshine Band then | work with a 


120-ptece youth symphony orchestra. I've also just finished a 
Chnistian narration album. 

Will these albums be coming out on your Gold label? 

Yes. 

What made you want to start your own label this late in the 
game? 








which means that Boone more than meets 
the Rock Hall's qualifications 

To suggest he should be denied induction on 
the basis of his being a successful white 
artist In racist times ts just plain 
wrongheaded thinking 

Granted, he wasn't the hard rocker his friend 
Elvis was, but any Hall Of Fame thar 
considers James Taylor. Joni Mitchell. or the 
Mamas and the Papas to be “rock'n'roll.” 
should provide a place of honor for Mr. Pat 
Boone. 


eee ee ee F 





One of the best books I've read this year is 
Him Sav Hello (Humble Press), a collectio 
of stones about people from all walks of life 
and their chance meetings with Bob Dylan 

In that same spint allow me to offer a 
somewhat similar entry drawn from the hives 
of some of our poll respondents. One 
I Met Pat Boone 
Marshall Lytle — The Comets/The Jodimars 
The Jodimars worked the State theatre tn 
Hartford Conn. with Pat in 1956. Pat and | 
became tnendly because he had 3 girls and | 
had 3 bovs and he said how do you make 
boys. :-) But I'l bet he would remember 
that he and ! got a string of extension cords 
and pulled an old black & white TV out into 
the alley behind the State Theatre to watch 
Elvis on his first national TV show. [t was 
the Dorsey Show and Elvis was introduced 

by Bill Randle, a DJ from Cleveland. 

Ray Campi - Rockabilly Cult Hero 

{ met Pat Boone in 1957 just walking down 
the street as he was coming out of ABC. | 
had a Dot record out at that ume through a 
New York publisher Roosevelt Music, who 
published “Don’t Forbid Me.” | was sort of 
being groomed ay a songwriter for 
Roosevelt. I had done a promotional tnp to 

New York. | was there a couple of months 
working out of their offices 
Some of Pat's people at Googa-Mooga like 
Jack Spina, who managed Pat. were in and 
out of the office. So. ws funny when vou re 
like the country bumpkin trom Austin, 
Texas up in the big city. [ was just 
struggling and my record wasn't successful 





or anything 


| So. | stopped and introduced myself to him 


and told him | had a record on Dot and | was 
doing this and that Then. when | walked 
away | thought. “What kind of Justice ts 
this? Why 1s this guy who's my age so 
successful? He's a millionaire, has his own 
TV show, hit records and a big management 
firm behind him.” Then, here [ am, in my 
mind just as good maybe better, more of a 
songwriter and arranger, and [om just 
walking these streets wondering if ['m going 
to last another two weeks there, Those are 
just the things that go through your ound 
when you're young 








a 





But Pat. he was very nice. He shook my 
hand and said, “Glad to know you" and 
stuff 
Rich Horton - Musician. Optional Arts 
Records 
Back in ‘66, when [ was 14, our family was 
in Southern California for a few weeks. One 
day, my dad thought it'd be cool to drive 
through Beverly Hills in our ‘63 Chevy (talk 
about out-of-place'). As we were driving 
by. he spied Pat Boone in his front yard, 
washing his motorcycle. My dad was a 
minister--and he knew that Pat Boone was 9 
“public Chnstian"--so he thought nothing of 
pulling to the curb, getting out of the car. 
and greeting Pat Boone 
Pat was very gracious and engaged in some 
small talk with my father, while my brother 
and | sat embarrassed in the back seat. After 
a couple minutes, though, the possibility of a 
“brush with fame” got the better of our 
embarrassment, and we got out of the car 
and shook hands with "Mr. Boone” (which 
is how my dad introduced him to us). 
That's it! We got in the car and drove off. 
The whole encounter lasted 
about 2-3 minutes at most. 

Kim Cooper - “Puplust" Mayaczine 
When I was fifteen, the headmaster of my 
freaky new age alternative schoo! somehow 
arranged that his students would appear on 
Pat Boone's Christian cable show. 

All of the other kids and teachers were 
desperate to be televised. | was unable to get 
out of joining this group at the taping, which 
took place in Pat's large suburban tract home 
high above the Sepulveda Pass -- in a street 
of houses notorious for having been built 
atop improperly sealed landfill! 
There was no way in the world that I was 
going to appear on a Christian TV show 
hosted by someone who had turned vital ‘50s 
rock ‘n’ roll into namby-pamby candyfloss, 
[ was saying as much to my pal Chris when 
Pat ambled over to ask why we weren't with 
the other kids. I'm pretty sure he heard 
enough of my screed to get the point. but he 
was extremely gracious and we reciprocated 
Chris and I sat out the taping: remarking that 
Pat didn’t seem like such a bad guy, really. 1 
haven't felt the need to demonize Pat Boone 
since the day he played it so cool with a 
couple of snotty kids. 

[an Whitcomb - 60s British Invasion 

Autmaker 

During MY rock ‘n’ roll period [ appeared 
as a guest on The Pat Boone Show, where | 
sang “You Turn Me On" to my uke 
accompaniment. Then I handed the uke to 
Pat who proceeded to strum and sing “Love 
Letters ln The Sand” while Soupy Sales and 
I provided a tasteful doo-wop backing noise. 
{ told Pat the story of [my first] kiss. [Which 
ocurred while listening to the 
aforementioned song.]} He seemed 
impressed at the time. { have this show on 
film to prove that ['m not lying. I've been 
known fo invent, you know, but this was for 


real. 





For at least ten years I've been chafing that myself and other 
arusts, like Andy Williams, Kenny Rogers, Mel Tillis. Roy 
Clark, Patti Page. and Nancy Wilson can't get on a label. No 
label really wants to send these Proven gold record artists into 
the studio to make new records. They're all looking for 
Britney Spears, Ricky Martin, and Puff Daddy. They're going 
for the fences with eight to ten million units sold and are not 
interested in a proven older artist that has two or three million 
fans who would like to have any record he makes. They just 
flat don’t care. I finally came to understand from a marketing 
standpoint that if you've got X-millions of doilars to spend, and 
a board of directors, owners or whatever to answer to, then 
you want to see how you can maximize your sales. So you can 
only support, promote, and distribute so many records and you 
have to go for the ones that give you the best chance at the 
biggest sales. But here’s Perry Como who does an album for 
RCA, after fifty years of recording successfully for them. and 
they don’t even put it out. They think. “We estimate that it 
might sell a hundred thousand units. We could put that money 
that we'd spend promoting that over here and we might get 
half a million or a million sales with some new young artist.” I 
understand that, especially now that I have my own record 
label. (Chuckles.) But I ‘think there’s some ternbly faulty 
feasoning and they're going to wake up one day and say, 
“Hey, we blew it!” 

What’s the long term plan for the Gold label? 

We're going to build this tremendous catalog. We've made 
arrangements with all the mayor labels so we can sell their old 
catalog. In some ways they're doing it. but as | pointed out to 
their executives, “You're only going to sell part of your old 
catalog, let us delve into it and sell a lot more. it doesn't hurt 
you, its found money for you.” So, we package and put out a 
lot of the stuff that the artists are very proud of, but didn't get 
attention or has not been available for years. We also put them 
back in the studio to make new records. We keep the costs 
down and don't squander money unnecessarily. But we still 
make beautiful records. We have a good new Glen Campbell 
and a good new Roger Williams, and we're getting ready to 
record Lou Rawls and Nancy Wilson. We've got a new Four 
io and a new Sha Na Na, and a new Mills Brothers 
album. 

Who’s taking the place of the deceased members of the 
Miils Brothers? 

This last album was done by Don Mills who was the oldest and 
one of the original three, and his son and a couple of 
musicians. They were traveling and singing before they went 
in the studio and did a really wonderful, moving album. Don 
and his son could still do that great Mills Brothers sound. We 
also have Jack Jones, Eddie Fisher, and Frankie Laine. Other 
labels aren't interested in them but we're building a catalog 
that one of these days some of these majors will wish they had. 
[don’t think that ten years from now people are going to still 
be clamoring to get Puffy’s records or DMZ, or Dr. Dre. 

I can’t see a nice old couple turning up the radio and saying, 
“Listen honey it’s ‘Cop Killer,’ the Song we fell in love to.” 
That’s right! (Laughs. ) I"ve made that kind of comment, you 
know. You're not going to get on an elevator and here's this 
stuff (imitates frenetic hip-hop vocal) while you're going up to 
the tenth floor and then say. “Hey! They're playing my song 
now.” | think the record companies are being suicidal in the 
long term by ignoring the really good music that endures. So, 
since I saw nobody was doing it, we just Stepped in, started the 
label. and now we've got good funding and distribution. Also. 
there’s no proven artist that doesn't want to be with us. 

Has your website helped your label? 

Oh yeah. I went to a function last night for Billy Graham at the 
Reagan Foundation. the night they gave him the Freedom 
Award. A big vital guy in his 60s came up and said, “I just hit 
your website and ordered some records.” | said, “How'd you 
know about it?” He said. “I knew | was coming tonight and 1 
Just thought I'd look up ‘Pat Boone’ on the Intemet and see 
what you've been up to. It took me nght over to Pat's 
Gold.com.” 

Who's your biggest seller right now? 

Glen Campbell. Roger Williams is running hima close second. 
I'll tell you who else we added that’s getting tremendous early 
response are the Ventures. They're the biggest selling 
instrumental group of all-time and they have a great new 
album on our label called Venture’ 

So your label is not just about lounge or swing? 

Oh no. Plus, you can get Glenn Miller. Brian Setzer. Sting. or 
any record that exists through our Website, because our equity 


partner is Valley Entertainment. they're the largest 
independent distributor They actually inventory all these 
records and they are the ones that fulfill the orders for 
Amazon. Borders, and Bames & Noble. So we can truthfully 
advertise three hundred and fifty thousand titles because 


Pat, do you yourself own a computer? 
Oh yeah. 
56 


Ken Burke - 7#e Continuing Suga Of Dr 
Iguana 
During the late 70s. | worked as a security 
guard in Cahfornia. Every day at funch an 
older Hispanic gentleman parked his 
catering truck at the bottom of our 
building's steps and we'd all go down and 


buy things like soda, sandwiches, and chips 
One day. while paving for a sandwich and a 


carton of mifk. J noticed the driver's sales 
license, which had his name neatly typed in 
the center: Patricio Boon. | took a swig of 
milk and quipped. “So. you're Pat Boone, 
eh 

“Si.” he replied cheerfully. “lam Pat Boon” 
I gently shook my milk carton and joked, 
“In that case. I'm surprised that there's any 
of this left.” The confused driver replied, 
“No sir, | mostly drink coffee at work - 
black.” [shot back, “Well, you'd better not 
let the American Dairy Association hear 
about that.” and f laughed and walked back 




































up the stairs. (The singer Pat Boone was a 
Dairy Association spokesman.) 

Intoxicated with obnoxious humor. [ told al] 
my coworkers that the catering-truck 
operator was named Pat Boone. Before long. 
the befuddled driver was bombarded with 
such statements as. “Hey Pat. you 
researching a movie role or something?” 
“Gee Pat, couldn’t Debby loan you a few 
bucks until the bookings pick up?” “If [ gel 
my mom on the phone will you sing “Love 
Letters In The Sand’ to her?” or “Don’t 
worry Pat, | hear 50s music ts coming back.” 
Sometimes three or four people would chant 
in unison, “Hey Pat Boone, where's your 
white buck shoes?” To which the driver 
would inevitably reply, “White duck shoes? 
What are white duck shoes?” 

This went on for several 
Occasionally. someone would try to explain 
to Patricio that Pat Boone was a famous 
American singer and TV star, and we were 
just joking. Yet, Patricio Boon remained 
confused by comments about white buck 
Shoes and “Tutti Frutti.” which clearly 
added to the situation’s humor. For us. 


weeks 


anyway, 




















The joke finally went too far when [ asked 
the calering-truck driver, “So, how's your 
Sherles 


Gauughters ?” 


wite and your four lovely 
Patricio snapped. “How do 
know my wife's name? How do vou know 
about my daughters?” Then he poked my 
security. guard badge vigorously and spat: 
“Just because you wear that doesn’t mean 
you have the mght to spy on people.” Then 
he threw my change at me and told me to go 
away 

Well. | telt bad over how this whole running 
gag had turned out. It had nothing to do with 
Patncio or Pat Boone. If the guy had been 
named Elvis Presley, we would've all ribbed 
him just as much, maybe more. Gags like 
that are meant to lighten the workaday grind. 
not actually hurt someone's feelings. So that 
night | rummaged through my closet for my 
copy of Rolling Stone with Pat Boone on the 


cover, | had my girlfrend pick out a 


— greeung card that said “I'm sorry” and | 





taped it to a gift-wrapped box of Dutch 


Master civars, which |] knew he smoked. 
| had planned to show Patricio Boon that the 


singer Pat Boone was for real and then 
present him with a bttle peace offering. 
However, without explanation, another 
dnver took over Patneio’s route, and | never 
had the chance to make things nght. 

Now here's the kicker 

On the day IT was leaving town to fly back 
home. I rode a shuttle bus to the airport. 
When it stopped at a Jight, | looked out my 
window and a few feet away | saw a man 
making change at his catering-truck. 

lt was Patncio Boon He was wearing white 
buck shoes 








a 


VEE 
Mm evr «OUT: JUNE 20th cD 


Braga i POV re 





: 


GOOD RIDDANCE 
NEW CD-EP / 10° 


/LP 


Do you surf the net? 

{don't surf so much, just aimlessly looking. 1 go on looking for 
specific things. But I do e-mail. I call my wife “e-mail mama” 
now. I got her a WebTV. but she’s graduated to an Apple 
Powerbook II. | have a Powerbook and an iMac. So at this 
moment we're more Macintosh people. But } understand 
there's advantages to IBM PCs. I'm exploring various things 
I've just ordered something called the I-Phone. which is a 
three in one thing. 

I’ve read that Ozzy Osbourne is your next-door neighbor. 
Is that true? 

Yeah, right. I'm looking at his back fence nght now through 
our kitchen window. 

You guys are so different. Do you get along? 

Well. we do because we don’t even see each other. He's a 
night person or something. He doesn't drive. ] never see him 
drive in or out. We've seen each other a couple of umes. 
When he first moved in a couple of years ago. he was walking 
or shuffling. He seems to shuffle. | saw him do this onstage 
and I thought it was maybe an affectation. but he can move 
around quickly, he’s in good shape, but his walk is son of a 
shuffling gait and he's hunched over a bit. He came with his 
boy tothe car and | was getting some mail from the mailbox 
and | heard myself saying something to Ozzy Osbourne | 
never dreamed that | would say. “Hi neighbor.” We shook 
hands: he introduced me to his son and said, “Let's have tea.” 
We agreed we would but it hasn't happened. However. is on 
our agenda. We just don't see each other much 

As someone who grew up during the 70s, I'd be remiss in 
my duties if I didn't ask about your daughters, particularly 
Debbie 

Well they're all doing great with their families. Of course i'm 
very proud of her and all of them, but Debbie, in a unique way 
because she’s put her career totally on hold. She does some 
singing. She likes to do things hke Annie Get Your Gun or 


Sound Of Music or Meet Me In St. Louts - those type of 
musicals. She loves that and she'll do it in the summertime and 
make enough money to keep her family going. Recordingwise. 
again, labels lost interest in her because of what they consider 
her straight-laced moral lifestyle. She's just living a real 
conventional life. so they lost interest in that fabulous voice, 
Of course. she’s partly responsible. Mike Curb, who was 
producing her, wanted to take her country like Crystal Gayle 
and Anne Murray, and Debbie didn’t really want to do that 
Yet she had a number one country hit, “Are You On the Road 
To Lovin’ Me Again,” along with “You Light Up My Life.” 
But she really didn’t want to do country. she really wanted to 
be Barbara Streisand or Melissa Manchester, 


ee = 
oD sGmia Cee mare 


STRUNG OUT 
NEW CD-EP 


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SE ESR 
J 


oy 


BRACKET 
NEW CD / LP 


acer is old dad going to put his daughter on his record 
abel? 

When she wants to be. yeah. It’s there for her. We love cach 
other and get along great, hut professionally, she’s wanted to 
distance herself a litle from me and not just always be Pat 
Boone's daughter. Like my brother didn't just want to he 
known as Pat Boone’s brother. | understand 11. 

They can’t escape it, Pat. You're omnipresent. 

Well, that’s nght. 1 say I keep popping up like a bad penny 
You can’t get nd of me. 

Pat, you have the final word. 

The best is yet to come. | really believe that I've got some 
recording, maybe even a movie role or two but certainly some 
recording that will eclipse anything I've done. Material and 
concepts that | am going to get to before 1 decide that they ve 
heard enough of me. | think | have some dessert. some 
excellent stuff still left to do. Stay tuned. 

Writer’s note. We are profoundly grateful for the gracious 
cooperation of Pat Boone. his manager Ed Rhinehart. as well 
us staffers Charlie Shaw and Maureen Mata, Check out their 
website: www patsgold.com. Ken Burke wishes to personally 
thank Gary Pig Gold and Prewitt Rose for their advice and 
guidance. 


Ken Burke can be reached at Dr.Iguanal @ aol.com. 


Te a 


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Dol w ws 


2:08 ee 


A Date with Pat Boone 





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~ NOFX 
LIMITED 7° 


“MY BREAKFAST WITH BOONE" 
by Gary “Pig” Gold 


As bizarre as even I still consider this little factoid to be, Yours Truly honestly did spend the 
majority of the Reagan administration touring Canada’s hepper lounges and ski resorts as 
one-fifth of the one and only (a-hemm: but AUTHORIZED, I'l! have you know) Beach Boys 
“tribute” act known as Endless Summer. So there! I exhume this particular musical skeleton 
today as not yet another stab at sullying what's left of my pop’n'roll credibilities, but by way 
of readily admitting that besides bringing in tons-o-tax-free-bux during them long-lost 
boomer years, my Endless Slumbering often afforded the rare opportunity of bringing me 
right up close with all sorts of rockin’ rollin’ characters-and-a-half, So it was, after an 
especially rousing encore of “Barbara Ann” one sunny eve, that 1 came to become involved 
with the singularly legendary Prewitt Rose: yes, he of “The Rats’ Revenge” infamy (check 
out the nearest "Back From The Grave’ compilation) who at this particular point in dime, 
roughly Thanksgiving 1988, was busy hauling his latest pal (John “Judy In Disguise” Fred) 
all-round the dreaded moldies circuit. Suffice to say, for reasons I'!] never be quite sure of 
but nevertheless remain eternally grateful for, Prewitt instantly felt a certain kamikaze 
kinship with me and so decided to, one weekend shortly thereafter, haul my make-believe 
Mike Love (E. Summer's lead vocalist TJ. Tyler) and 1 all the way down to Nashville, 
Tennessee in order that we may sing on a brand new Pat Boone record he'd decided to 
produce. | mean, we had nothing else to do thal weekend, now did we? 

Okay, let me attempt to set this stage: Prewitt, who during these late Eighties 
had Pat briefly signed to his Orchid Records label (alongside softcore queen Hyapatia Lee, 
but that’s ANOTHER story altogether!) was living a life of comparative ease way out on 
Long Island, New York. One of Prewitt's neighbors, | seem to recall, was Billy Joel. Prewitt 
really didn't like the Piano Man, and we honestly don't care to know, now do we. Billy's 
thoughts on this or on any other subject. But | digress. Meanwhile, T.J. and your humble 
chronicler were, on the weekend in question, briefly off the endless Beach Boy road and 
crashing (quite literally) at opposite comers of suburban Toronto, Ontario, Canada. "Aw 
hell, | don’t mind," 1 remember Prewitt laughing into my phone very late one night as his 
latest scheme festered. “I'll just fill the tank, shoot on up to Taranna and grab you guys, then 
if we're lucky we'll be in Music City by sundown!" And damned if he wasn't dead right. 

Now, traveling anywheres inside Prewitt’s rock'n’rollmobile has always been 
one strange long trip indeed, its finely wom interior thick with not only second-and-third- 
hand cigar smoke, but enough tall tall tales to keep even Ronnie Hawkins and, dare I suggest 
it, Jerry Lee reverently mute (ie:"did I ever tell ya about the time I got throwa outta Motown 
Records’ lobby? That Gordy feller never ever understood how to REALLY rock. now did 
he?") Yessir this WAS gonna be Big Fun. wasn't it? Then somewhere between Ohio and 
Oblivion things suddenly took an even sillier turn as Prewitt barked through his rear view, 
“Hey Gary, you know that character you have in some of your stories called Tylin Whaler? 
The country singer? Canada’s answer to Hank Williams Jr." I nodded in apprehension. 
"Well. let's make this mission REAL interesting, why don’t we! Howzabout from this 
minute I drop you guys back over the border on Sunday night, you BECOME, | mean, you 
ARE Tylin from now on, okay? Yeah! Awrite Gary? Man, that'll REALLY flip ol’ Boone 
out! Here we're gonna pull over at the next truckstop so’s we can practice. Ready?” 

Abh, the pure Power of Persuasion and/or Suggestion I guess, as sure enough 
within twenty minutes | had even the hardened denizens of the local griddle palace snapping 
Polaroids and fawning Big Time as | dutifully signed the back of their Gusto cassettes of 
Tom T. Hall's greatest hits. "Yes indeed folks,” Col. Rose announced for what was to be the 
first of couple dozen times that weekend, “we've all just had the pleasure of dining here with 
Canada’s Number One up-and-coming country music sensation Tylin Whaler! On his way 
right now to Nashville to cut his very next smash with Mr. White Bucks himself!" 1 must 
admit that by the time we'd finally checked into our Nashville motel, and after a quick call 
been invited over to Pat’s father’s bouse for a home-cooked breakfast alongside the whole 
family before we hit the recording studio, even I was beginning to believe I truly was the ill- 
gotten progeny of the legendary Tylin Whalin Sr., the Hillbilly Shakespeare of the Canadian 
Maritimes (with all due apologies to Hank Snow and especially Stompin’ Tom Connors). 

"Well then, it certainly is an honor to welcome you first to Music City, and now 
into my original homestead for a rib-sticking country breakfast, Boone-style” smiled the one 
and only Pat Himself as be ushered us into the classic southem-styled partor of Archie 
Boone's Place. "And I certainly hope you plan on singing us a couple of your hits later too,” 
Speedy Gonzales back-slapped (as his wizened old pop began eyeing me suspiciously - - - 
and so rightfully so). 

“Now come on, Pat. Tylin here just came off one heck of a big ol” tour, coast to 
coast across Canada, and he really should be restin’ up those golden vocal chords of his you 
know,” a familiar voice from behind bellowed. “I mean, shouldn't we just be thankful | 
could talk him into giving up part of his first vacation in who-knows-how-very-long to sing 
on your new record instead?" Pat humbly acquiesced and yep. though dawn had barely 
broken, Prewitt had already saved the day for only the first of several times it tured out . | 
gotta admit, Archie was one real cool cat. So was Pat's mom. | mean, really, who knows 
how many ragamuffins, musical and otherwise, Pat had dragged home over the years, right? 
But they were both as kind and as unwaveringly patient with their boy and his new friends 
from up north as they possibly could be. Even when Pat couldn't figure out how in beck to 


58 


get his brand new home video camera working during coffee (until Archie reached over and popped 
the lens cover off it, that is ). 

Suddenly, by the every where-else-in-the-civilized-world-hi ghly-UNmusical bour of ten A.M.. 
we were lounging across a typically funky recording studio lobby on Music Row, U.S.A.: TJ. (who 
was still searching vainly for an escape hatch), our musical director Carson Whitsett. Tylin Whalin 
Himself. “making his American recording debut, and as if things couldn't get any more star-studded 
“ drummer extraordinaire Gene “Suspicious Minds* Chrisman alongside, | honestly kid you not, 
bassman Donald “Duck” Dunn. Meanwhile, Pat was gamely doing his more than fair share, regaling 
all with his three stock Presley encounters (the classic 1955 meeting. followed by the circa “Double 
Troubie* Bel Air poolside confessional. then that brief but impactful nonetheless mid-Seventies 
airport brush) while Prewitt set up the board and I tried hard to ignore what seemed so terribly. 
terribly all wroag with this entire picture. 

From what I could gather, Chrisman and even Dunn really were just so many geniuses-for-hire 
working this musical assembly line. and for all { know could've been heading straight across the 
street after our allotted three hours to toil upon the brand new Billy Ray Cyrus demo. Talk about a 
town without pity. “Okay you clowns, get on in here.” Prewitt soon boomed over the intercom. 
“We're gonna cut both these two sides with time to spare before lunch Carson? Pass out those damn 
-- whoops! -- darn charts of yours, everyone else get tuned up, and Tylin? We'll dub you and TJ. on 
later alright?” 

No problem, Producer Rose! [ was happy just to be SITTING here. wasn't I? A semi-featured 
player no less in this previously-unseen, undreamt-of-even episode of "The Twilight Zone: Behind 
The Music. "Now Pat? You already know this song. 30 we should have it in three takes tops. All 
set then.” 

“Um, excuse me Prewitt," interrupted Pat in as smooth a voice as I've ever heard. “I'm not 
quite sure of the lyrics, you see. I'm sorry.” 

Prewitt guffawed, “Oh RIGHT. You don’t know the words! Okay then, come on everybody. 
Take One: Fools’ Halt Of Fame!” 

But before Gene could even launch the count-off. Pat spoke up again, Ithough with ever-so- 
slightly more urgency this time. "No. [ really mean it Prewitt. I need lyrics for this song.” 

“Pat, you still do this song in your act. don’t you? What do you mean?” 

“My act? Prewitt, | don't believe | have ever heard this song before in my life!" 

For once, our jolly ringmaster seemed at a true loss for words. Curbing his tongue somewhat 
around his cigar, Prewitt now leaned into the talk-back mike to gently admonish, “But Pat. of course 
you know this song. You've RECORDED this song. I've HEARD you perform it on stage. [t was 
one of your big hits!" 

“Really. Prewitt? Is that so! Well then.” Even our world-renowned rhythm section now began 
muttering amongst themselves (OFF mike), as Prewitt excused himself from the booth to enter the 
studio proper. He approached Pat, pulling something from his briefcase en route, and befare I could 
even motion, the engineer had turned the over-head on so we could all bear what promised to be this 
weekend's zaniest conversation so far. “What's this,” asked Pat, as Prewitt removed a worn folder 
from a sharp new Orchid Records envelope. 

“It is the lyrics for Fools’ Hall Of Fame. In fact, it is the Originalsheet music for Fools’ Hall Of 
Fame, vintage 1959." Pat took the item and delicately placed it upon his music stand. “In fact, if 
you'll look closely enough Pat, you'll see your picture on the cover of this sheet music. with the 
words AS RECORDED BY PAT BOONE ON DOT RECORDS written right along there.right under 
your Mister B collar." 

Silence. Then Pat began to laugh. Long, loud, and beartily. Then we ALL began to laugh. 
Prewitt, however, simply strode meaningfully back into the booth and announced, for the third time 
and counting, “Fools’ Hall Of Fame, Take One.” Sure enough, by lunchtime both the A and B sides 
of Orchid number OR-521 had been laid down, Carson had picked up (and already cashed I bet) his 
check, Dunn and Chrisman were merrily off on their next assignment, and TJ. and [ had even laid 
our best Canadian Jordanaires across the two empty tracks. Mission duly accomplished, and rough 
cassette mixes in hand, we dropped Pat back at his Dad's place and pointed the Prewittmobile due 
north, Destination: Toronto. The ride home was so smooth and uneventful, in fact, that the usually 
prying-at-the-border Immigration officials didn't even bother awakening me in the back seat from 
Prewitt’s latest run-in with Berry Gordy. Yes, and as promised. I was back home by Monday 
moming and that INCLUDED a nostalgic stopover in Bowling Green, Kentucky to buy some Everly 
Brothers albums! (They were all out of Tylin Whaler’s). 

But what, you may ask, of the Orchid Record in question? Well, far from considering myself an 
expert on such mafters (having witnessed only a single Boone recording session to date), all | can 
safely report here and now is that Pat worked hard, and he worked fast -- not that you have much 
choice in the matter in Nashvitle...especially when recording for Prewitt Rose! So then, can we 
safely consider the man the consummate professional? Well, remember Pat's been walking through 
hundreds of such sessions for close to a half-century by now, | should imagine. Still, despite the fact 
that he swore up and down he didn’t own a solitary cassette player through which to listen to our 
rough mix after the session's end (hmmm), Pat did good -- as opposed to exceptional -- work, and 
my mom at least got a real kick a few months later when she spotted the man in question plugging 
Fools’ Hall Of Fame.and duly recounting our adventures in precise detail, on The Pat Sajak Show. 
But | guess CBS Television must've edited out all the Tyltin Whaler references before broadcast. 


right? 


BUT THAT’S NOT ALL...... 


PT. 2: "THE LITERARY BOONE" 


The following Christmas, a strange package arnved in the mail from a hitherto unknown 
address in Burbank, California. “Boone Productions, Inc.” read the label. “Printed Matter 
Only.” said the customs sticker. I eagerly tore the box open. only to find therein several 
colorful books neatly swaddled in clear, clean bubblewrap. Well! Having not had the ame 
or space to read a book in a year or two, and unable to recall having EVER ordered such 
objects through the mail, | was both dazed and sorely confused. Unuil, that is, I realized that 
this tro of fine publications had been sent to my home by none other than the author himself, 
a Mr. Charles Eugene "Pat" Boone 

Huh! 1 guess I really did make somewhat of an impression upon the man during our 
lightning forty-eight hours together ten months earlier then. Yet upon delving closer into the 
books. then re-reading same again just recently in the interests of this here epistle, I can today 
only surmuse that Pat, and most likely his entire family. must truly have been concerned 
about my well-being and had sent these uplifting tomes in an attempt to curb somewhat Tylin 
Whalens wayward soul. | THINK. Or maybe he was just being nice, and sent me a gift or 
three for Christmas (“Together: 23 Years With The Boone Family” I could appreciate, 
absolutely - but why was it accompanied by copies of “The Honeymoon Is Over,” a 
compendium of Boone-blessed mariage hints and. possibly even stranger still, Shirley 
Boone's infamous own “One Woman's Liberation”) 

To make an attempt at appreciating these gifts more fully, | dug out my dog-eared 
paperback of Pat's very first venture into the printed word. the redoubtable "Twixt Twelve 
And Twenty.” which I had discovered at a garage sale many long moons ago. Onginally 
published in 1958, it begins with a cutely curt Open Letter from the brand new author which 
bears repeating in its enurety here [ believe: “Hi. [yes. you are to write your own 
name tight here on the page, [ guess]. In case we haven't been formally introduced. I'm Pat 
Boone I sing. Right here [ know you're wondenng why. if I'm a singer. I don’t stick to 
music instead of writing a book.” Good question Pat. and one which I found myself 
repeating quite often throughout “Twixt Twelve And Twenty”’s 180 successive pages. First, 
while reading how. as a youngster growing up in Nashville, he would sit alone every morning 
mulking Rosemary the Cow. pondering such mortal questions as “Am I ready to become a 
Christain?” More fascinating sull. a couple chapters on. is a dissertation on how Pat 
successfully battled his own fearful four “Teen-Age Symptoms: Insecurity, Restlessness, 
Inconsistency and Indecision,” followed by a wholly flabbergasting six-step. do-it-yourself 
program (Pat calls ut thePilgrim’s Progress) involving "Objectives Towards Maturity: a 
Maturity Check Sheet towards living a happy and fulfilling life twixt twelve and twenty and 
even beyond.” Those six steps? Spiritual, Social, Mental. Physical, Work and Financial. 
"Get these in order and, simple: The sum total is YOU!’ 

Gotcha. Confused yet? That's okay: It’s all part of growing up [ guess. But once 
matunty HAS been safely acquired. and maintained on a daily basis by rigidly adhering to 
the six steps above, Pat promises the reader will then be part of the Corporation --“ Family 
Style.” No, really. Once again. a handy six-point "Maxims On Marmage” follows, signed by 
Pat Boone, “President of The Charles Boone Happy Home Corporation” and endorsed by his 
Board of Directors: namely wife, [ mean “Executive Vice President’Shirley Foley Boone 
along with their four daughters. Then, by keeping close in mind (as the final two chapters of 
"Twixt Twelve And Twenty” drive straight home at every available opportunity) that God ts 
Real. and that Dreams Really Do Come True, President Pat promises that the reader will 
surely end up plum atop “the teen-age ladder in the world of.” gulp. “Young Adults.” Sounds 
easy. doesn'tit? Why. even by 1958 standards it does! 

However, twixt twenty and thirty-six. our hero actually didn’t fare that well himself 
within that daunting World of Young Adults, as hts next book. “A New Song.” more than 
plainly states across its very dust jacket: “His marnage was on the rocks. financial ruin was 
near, and his career almost shipwrecked.” UNTIL, that is, Pat discovered...A New Song. A 
song that ulumately snapped Pat. his family, and hopefully some of his eager readers safely 
from the perilous, untorg:ving jaws of lurid temptation that was (double-gulp) The Swinging 
Sixties. “When [ wrote my first book “Twixt Twelve And Twenty.” Pat reports in “A New 
Song.” “I was addressing myself to the problems that kids had then. The temptations in those 
days were to drink and smoke. Today it's goof balls (??), marijuana, LSD, heroin. No 
longer is tt yust the body that kids are gambling with. but the mind as well."Yep. you can 
kinda guess where THIS book's headed. nght? 

“Those who experiment with narcotics can become hopelessly addicted for life; become 
mindless vegetables, may even die. Some authorities claim that one “trip” on LSD may 
affect four generations of children born afterwards! And, of course, we know that some 
children born to LSD users have had exposed spines, two heads, and other gruesome physical 
deformities.” Nossree, Pat didn't have an easy nde of it during the Sixties, it sounds like. 
Sure. once his own hits had dred up. he kept in the cing-a-ding of things by merchandising, 
for example, the enormously successful 1964 set of Beatle “oil painting” posters. 
Nevertheless, despite an occasional neon night spent lolling within the sin dens of Vegas, the 
White Bucked One was hardly a match, on or OFF the charts, when pitted against the likes of 
the Dead, the Airplane. or even his new L.A. neighbor Jimbo Morrison. Why, even a bref 
assocration with Bill Cosby's tax-dislodging Tetragrammaton label in 1969 (when Pat's 
cooly country-rocking “Departure” album briefly shared shelf space alongside labelmate John 
& Yoko's “Two Virgins") failed to jack the man’s Hip Quotient sufficiently heavenward. 
Nevertheless. Pat found space within “A New Song” to offer praise towards such. um. 
contemporaries as Arlo Guthrie, Bob Dylan, Peter Paul and Mary and even “the mvsterians 


59 


Scottish balladeer Donovan” -- though Zager & Evans’ “In The Year 2525" disturbed our main man 
greatly, as did Creedence Clearwater, Blood Sweat and Tears, those shameful Cowsills and even 
Peggy Lee's naughty litle “Is That All There Is.” 

Switching his radio off in dismay, one can presume, not only cleared the pure Boone air of any 
more foul Zager and Evaning, but allowed the faint sounds of Shirley's hitherto-unnoticed voice 
(speaking in tongues. by the way) to penetrate otherwise still Bel Air nightumes Naturally intngued 
by his otherwise dutifully silent wife's nocturnal emotings. Pat gathered the whole family round him 
in prayer across the living room floor, and soon all were nghteously grooving as one to “a New 
Song: to GOD.” Lo, and it wouldn't be much longer before their teenaged giris were dragging home 
a steady streamof confused schoolchums to be baptized deep within the cleansing waters of the 
Boone pool, lest they too succumb to the evils of CCR and find themselves giving birth to multiple- 
headed acid casualties. 

Now. for those who at this juncture are thinking “What da’.” may I submit by way of physical. 
photographic evidence of such Life at Chez Boone circa “Bad Moon Rising” any of the dozens upon 
dozens of pictures which comprise the astounding-and-then-some "Together: 25 Years With The 
Boone Family.” Released hot on the heels of daughter Debby's chart-topping slice of pre-Celine 
bravado “You Light Up My Life.” this lush coffee table retrospective asked the rhetoncal question 
“What is i that America Joves about the Pat Boone family? The family started with tts foik-hero 
ancestor Daniel Boone” (warning. direct genetic lineage not yet established) “and continues to this 
day with Dad and daughter Debby sharing stardom.” Yes indeed, 128 pages in living black and 
white of the Boone brood posing alongside Billy Graham, Mike Douglas. Shirley Jones. Kenny 
Rogers. Cher,Rick Nelson, Chuck Woolery. Buddy Hackett. President Harry Truman, Jerry Lewis, 
Jack Benny. Flip Wilson. Glen Campbell. a defiantly unimpressed Elvis circa “G I. Blues” and ” now 
THAT'S more like it” Debby Boone's own godpaw Perry Como. Boones on stage and backstage 
with the Osmonds in Japan, in the recording studio, at prayer (on the living room floor} (again) plus 
the weddings. the weddings, and MORE weddings! 

No less than the original. the ULTIMATE Famuly Values Scrapbook. “Together” flies boldly. 
and quite posstble blindly. in the face of all things late-Seventies. where (quoting Pat again) “teen- 
age, out-of-wedlock pregnancies are still growing in number. figures on abortion and venereal 
disease tell us more than we want to know about the breakdown of famuly life and tradinonal morals. 
and good old television.the mirror of wholesome family life just a few years ago” (1 take ut The 
Munsters weren't required viewing on the Boone tube) “is flooding our living rooms with a ternbly 
distorted view today: All kinds of bizarre match-ups from threesomes to eightsomes. from two girls 
to all girls NO dads!" And remember: This was BEFORE the Fox network 

The underlying theme of “Together.” I can only surmise then. 1s how such an admuttedly 
“square” clan as Pat’s have been able to not only survive. but actually even thrive ever since 
relocating in 1959 from Teaneck, New Jersey (by way of Nashville) to Hollywood, California. “the 
most unnatural, unsettled. and unhappy place in the United States” Hard to hold year-round 
poolside baptisms in Jersey. however. Still, through all the temptations and distractions of pre- 
Reagan America, Pat continued to defiantly shout into the wilderness: "Hey World' This Famuly 
Thing WORKS!" Why, even the long-suffering Shirley (yes, remember her? the Executive Vice 
President of the Charles Boone Happy Home Corporation) admits as much in her own often 
harrowing account within “The Honeymoon Is Over “ This “intimate look at the ups and downs of 
one of Hollywood's most successful marriages” details the ravages of those previously-mentioned 
1960s. when “electronic rock began to crowd out Pat Boone's style of singing” to the point that even 
Debby’s bedroom walls once found themselves covered in “pictures and psychedelic posters. until :t 
almost looked like a “head shop” catering to rock and pot-tnppers “” Further evidence of their dear 
daughter's very own troublesome climb up that ol’ Teen-Age Ladder into the World of Young 
Adults came when Debby was assigned to read not Beaver. but ELDRIDGE Cleaver’s ues scary 
"Soul On Ice” at school: "My daughier is NOT going to read that book.” Pat scolded her English 
teacher. “She's fifteen years old. and I don’t intend her to read the pornographic fantasies of a 
convicted rapist.” Worse still, Debby actually “experimented with vegetananism” around this same 
troublesome time! 

But good ol’ fashioned love -- not to mention long tours of the Orient with Donny and Marie 
and Co. -- eventually kept each and every Boone safely and squarely upon the nght and narrow track 
where, by all accounts (excepting possibly Pat's recent tnfatuations with Metallica done Glenn Miller 
style) the famuly remains safely and soundly Together to this very day. Proving. I suppose. that faath. 
properly placed, DOES indeed triumph in the end. and can certainly pry you and yours out of every 
single yam imaginable (and Pat's had more than his fair share of such speed-bumps along the Road of 
Life: remember that deadly acne cream he once hawked on very-late-night television? THAT was a 
close one’) Suil, despite all I have dutiful recounted herein -- breakfasts with the mom and pop. high- 
profile Nashville recording sessions, boxes full of Christmas literature from Burbank -- I still can't 
profess to having a secure “tag” on the man (or is it the Myth”) which is, and quite possibly shall 
forever remain, Boone. He truly is an Amenican enigma no less intriguing (and no less inscrutable in 
the end) than Marilyn, Nixon, and dare [ say even Elvis Himself. John Lennon? George Wallace? | 
think 1 have these foiks pretty well figured out. Jerry Lee Lewis? Still working on him. of course. 
but f doubt if I°ll EVER have Pat truly down, uh, pat. And I guess that’s the simple if elusive beauty 
of it all. at the end of the day and the bottom of the page. isn't it? 

Still, ut sure would be nice if Tylin Whaler gets the call when that Rock and Roll Hail of Fame 
finally DOES allow Charles Eugene Boone past its gold Jame gates. But unul that momentous day 
does arrive, Gary Pig Gold would just like to offer a heartfelt God Bless You. Pat 


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First, there was that mysterious cover. I'm a child growing up on 
Chicago's South Side in the seventies when my mother takes me to the 
neighborhood grocery. Mom has left me alone by the bargain record 
rack bin to look at $1.99 LP's by people I hadn't heard of (yet), showbiz 
legends like Albert Collins, Canned Heat, and Nipsey Russell. I see 
several copies of an album by Swamp Dogg. His name grabs me by the 
horsehairs and the cover freaks me out: an unfocused Polaroid of a stout 
black man sitting on the back of a garbage truck, wearing a T-shirt, 
shorts, patent leather boots and one of those four-comered mortarboard 
hats you wear al graduation. It's called Total Destruction To Your Mind. 
Even at age six. | knew the man on the cover wasn't going to a job 
interview. 

The LP was already old when I saw it. I] would never see the album 
this cheap again. [ wouldn't even get to hear it in its' entirety until the 
nineties, when it came out on CD. But three decades later, I'm talking 
on the phone long-distance with my old grocery-store nemesis, Swamp 
Dogg, who says the purpose of the album---cover, record and al]---was 
to shock. And I fell for it; his plan apparently worked. 

Today, from his home tn Los Angeles, the Dogg casually relates that 
the cover was shot by some guy who took mugshots for the New York 
Police Department. “That's why the album cover is so grainy and fucked 
up. They don't care about what your picture looks like in the NYPD! 
But everybody loved that washed-out cover! {f I tried to duplicate that, I 
couldn't. ‘Cause I don't know what we did! There was no strategy! | 
wish [ could sit here and say (adopts nonchalant voice) "Well yes, well 
see, then we...’ We didn’t plan to do a motherfuckin’ thing but cut an 
album, put a cover on it---the only plan was, the orginal album was a 
gatefold. The company tried to talk me out of it, and I was gonna walk 
away from the company because [ wanted a gatefold. I was so 
impressed with niggers whose albums opened up: I had to have one. 
Niggers was still buyin’ 45's. They would've bought eight 45's from that 
album, but they wouldn't buy the album." 


















cad ASG cochia  aT ? [ieee Gs aT a 


by James 





orter 

For thirty years Swamp Dogg has made a career out of speaking his 
mind. Bursting on the scene as Little Jerry Williams in the fifties, the 
Portsmouth, Virginia native continued in that vein for years, with minor 
success as a producer, songwniter and soul singer---until 1970, when he 
retired the sharkskin suit and the love songs and finally gave the world a 
piece of his mind. After receiving a tape (the future Total Destruction 
album) at the long-defunct Canyon label, company head Wally Roker 
asked who the singer was. "The Dogg,” Williams replied. 

"Well, he needs a name! We can't call him The Dogg'', Roker 
replied. Influenced by the populanty of "swamp rock"---a gospelish 
mixture of rock, soul and country performed by then-popular performers 
like Tony Joe White and Creedence Clearwater Revival, Swamp Dogg 
was on the scene. 

"[ wasn't shooting for anything.” he now says. “I cut that first 
album, 1 really didn’t know what I was doing. That's why the material is 
so disjointed, although over the years. people have decided that it is a 
powerful fuckin’ album." 

Unlike most progressive black performers of the time. like Sly Stone 
or George Clinton, Swamp Dogg's music is fairly conservative, recalling 
the glory days of Southern soul. Yet, in terms of lyrics, image and 
general attitude, Swamp is not the typical tuxedoed loverboy. Otis Clay 
would never moan the blues about fucking a prostitute who later 
becomes his daughter-in-law ("Forever Hold Your Peace.") Latimore 
never sang about life after nuclear war ("The World Beyond"). Blow 
Fly, Poonanny, Bobby Rush and any other blues entertainer with a sense 
of humor has quite a ways to go before matching the Dogg's wicked wit and 
bitter social commentary. He's only managed one moderate hit on the soul 
charts under the Swamp Dogg moniker (1970's "Mama's Baby---Daddy's 
Maybe," although he had a couple of others as Little Jerry Williams), yet his 
vanous productions and songwriting have helped him crank out the 
occasional Dogg LP every few years. including his newest, The Re-Invention 
Of Swamp Dogg, a soca/calypso project on his own SDEG label, recorded 
with actual Carribean musicians. As Swamp tells it, "Some of the baddest 
motherfuckers in life is playing on that album! And I let them have their head’ 
That drummer ts so bad he sounds like two drummers!" 

As far as the dual image between Swamp Dogg and Little Jerry Williams. 
he says: “I don’t consider the reinvention of Swamp Dogg anything to do with 
Jerry Williams. (From 1954 to 1969) I was singing lots of love songs---lots of 
‘why don;t you love me?’, ‘will you love me”, and 'I love you.’ So, to reinvent 
Jerry Williams...1 don't know how the fuck I would have reinvented Jer 
Williams. That's how Swamp Dogg came along. Jerry Williams was at an 
impasse; There was nothing else for him to do, mainly because, you might 
say, ‘Well, shit, he didn't ever become a star’---NO! And he was NEVER 
gonna be a star! Like you got a car that keeps cuttin’ off, one day you sav 
‘FUCK THIS! This car ain't never gonna run nght! And you go get you 
another car---a reinvenuon of your transportation. So that's what happened 
here." 





CD Now.com, an Internct service that tells you what discs are in print and 
who is buying them, tells us that blues fans primarily buy Swamp Dogg's 
records these days. He certainly has the credentials: “Mama's Baby," from 
Total Destruction, was a strai ght-up blues wailer, and he's produced albums 
for Z.Z. Hill, Lightnin’ Slim, Irma Thomas, and Solomon Burke. He even 
anticipated the current Andre Williams resurgence by producing Andre's first 
(non-compilation) album in 1989, an attempt at rap on the SDEG label. There 


released, he found himself playing at hippie dancehalls like the Fillmore in 
San Francisco. 

"It wasn't like [ was aiming for the rock market,” says Swamp. "You had 
these motherfuckers like Crosby, Stills and Nash playing gigs, looking like 
they'd never been to a cleaners. I just happened to be around, and the rock 
crowd seemed to like it." Swamp isn't quite sure where he fits; "I've walked in 
Stores and seen my albums under ‘comedy, since most of his LP's covers 
usually have a comic scenario. 

When Canyon Records went under after barely a year in business, Swamp 
shifted to the Elektra label, which at that time was low in ethnic diversity but 
high in musical €xperimentation, releasing his second LP. Rar On! This 
contained "God Bless America,” not the old Irving Berlin warhorse, but still 
just offensive enough for the veteran composer to press charges ("You see, 
Kids are tired growin' up just to fight another war/And singin’ 'God Bless 
America,’ unless they know what for"). The Dogg would tater retaliate against 
the "senile old cocksucker" by recording a followup, threatening that "God 
Ain't Blessin' America”..."until we get our shit right,” but as it was, Elektra 
didn't know what they had on their hands. You'd think that a label that had 
two bands with lead singers who flashed their penises on stage (the Doors and 
the lesser-selling Stooges, featuring Iggy Pop) would understand a Swamp 
Dogg, but it wasn't to be. "(Iggy) only jerked off on Stage, and the MC 5..--js it 
MC 5 or MC squared? The MC 5 took a shit on stage! Hee hee! He pulled his 
clothes down and took a shit! Which I still can't figure out, how the 
motherfucker took a shit in front of all them people! [ know I couldn't do it---] 


can't hardly shit with my wife in the bathroom with me! {Swamp is referring 
to the alleged Story about MC 5 guitarist Wayne Kramer doing a 


“number two" on Sfage, which Kramer himself has disputed in 
interviews] 

Elektra was a lily-white company," Swamp continues. "They had 
one black artist [the Voices Of East Harlem] at the time. They got rid of 


shit that, quote-unquote, just wasn't none of my motherfuckin’ business. 
But [ was makin’ it my business. Then, when [ decided to go on tour 
with Jane Fonda and her Free The Army revue, they really went off.” 


getting a ride from the white man---puzzied Elektra execs and they soon 
dropped him like a bad habit. Since then, Swamp has never put out 
more than one album for a label he doesn't own. 

One of his better efforts, though tough to find, was 1973's Gag A 
Maggot on his own Stone Dogg label, distributed by TK, the Miami firm 
that gave us, among others, KC & the Sunshine Band. "Shit, KC wasn't 
"He was the gofer---go get coffee, gO get 


how to just stand up and sustain those three chords, and shee-it, I damn 
You know how white boys are when they 
get around niggers! They, like, WORSHIP the nigger! Until they get 
their shit (together)... was his man, but he never did switch up on 
me...naturally, he got too fuckin’ busy---I'd have been an idiot if I didn't 


62 


understand that. Other than that, KC was always supercool. He was 
the average white boy, ‘cause he hung around niggers too long. Ric 
(Finch, the other founding member of the Sunshine Band, also whit 
held on to his whiteness. He would hang around niggers all day, b 
he'd go home at night and take him a whitewash, make sure h 
remained." 

It was also during 1973 that he recorded “Call Me Nigger," whic 
wound up on the facetiously titled Swamp Doge's Greatest Hits, anothe 
Stone Dogg release. After spending the first half of the song singin; 
about how this six-letter word shouldn't stand in any black person's way 
he then rips into this long, withering, not-ready-for-prime-time rap abou: 
how "niggers" come in all races and religions, not just the black 
population. When | mention that banjo that keeps playing nonstop 
through Swamp’s monologue, he enthusiastically notes that "the banjo 
was being played by a Klansman {Raul Yarbrough|'" Did he know the 
Sessionman was with the world's best-known hate group?) "FUCK. 
yeah! But he loved me! Remember, NOW---you're young, you don't give 
a fuck, I'm taking Valiums---I don't give a shit! 1 don't know why I was 
carrying the gun, man. Wasn't nobody threatening me---except I was 
Wearing diamonds & shit at the time---but my diamonds Was so big, 
nobody believed the motherfuckers was real! I was the fast 
motherfucker they were gonna attack! Plus, | had a couple of niggers 
with me all the time." 

Swamp even recorded a far angrier version on his 199] CD "Surfin' 
In Harlem" (Volt) under a French title ("Appelle-Moi Noir," which 
translates as “call me a black man"); apparently Saul Zaentz. who owned 
Fantasy (Volt's parent label) wasn't about to release a disc that listed the 
notorious n-word on the cover. As a producer and label owner, Swamp 
has branched out into other fields as well. His SDEG iabel very nearly 
released a record by rapper Scarface (not yet with the Geto Boys), titled 
"Ak-shen," which Swamp colorfully describes as that song "where the 
guy was fuckin’ the girl and the bullet came through the bedroom and he 
kept on fuckin' her." His distributors were afraid to touch this record, 


singer named Bo Terrelj-. -that may yet be issued. "Bo and I, aw boy, 
we were the best of friends. Bo loves me---as much as a white boy 
gonna love a nigger. So then, the album is finished. Next thing [ know, 
cw from MCA, from 


I got motherfuckers calling me Pe 





™* en 


high powered-ass lawyers, al! them $500-an-hour Jawyers and shit, talkin’ 
about they're representing Bo---I can't do this, I better do that, | say, ‘guess 
what? Y'all ain't met nobody like me, I'l] take his voice off---MOTHERFUCK 
BO! After I done gone through with his alcoholism and struggling and broke- 
ass motherfucker..." He then rerecorded the same songs, with his voice 
subsututing for Bo's, and after initially attracting interest from Mercury 
Records, label head Steve Popovich backed out of the deal, not sure how to 
market a black performer on country radio. "I said, ‘Man, I understand it---! 
wouldn't sign ja black C&W singer].’ Which I wouldn't. But that wasn't the 
side of the desk I was dealing on.” Even though Swamp co-wrote "She's All I 
Got" with fellow R&B institution Gary "U.S." Bonds---a sizable early 
seventies hit for Johnny Paycheck, and covered by many in the field, most 
recently Tracy Burd---Nashville still had reservations about his involvement. 
Swamp even believes that he wasn’t invited to the Country Music Association 
banquet---he received his award in the mail for Songwniter of the Year (1972)- 
--although CMA officials insist they couldn't get to him on time. 

Although Swamp still believes that the C&W world ts too racist to support 
a black musician, he does not feel that the altemative, punk-inspired 
“insurgent country" movement is the way to go. It's been a haven for many a 
country-rock misfit, but Swamp doesn't see it. "That wouldn't be for me. Just 
ain't my mentality. I'm always shooting for the biggie. I just shoot from 
another angle. I'm left field, but [’m still in the game. That's the reason | don't 
fuck with labels like Rounder and Alligator, because that's the kiss of death for 
a nigger. When niggers show up on Rounder, it's over!" While he notes that 
the indie labels can spend only so much money (a fact that is practically a 
given), he also admits that "when an Allison Krauss (miljlion-selling bluegrass 
artist who started out on Rounder) comes along, then the motherfuckers start 
reaching into their stash." Rounder wouldn't do this for, say, New Orleans 
soul chanteuse Irma Thomas? " FUCK NO! A motherfucker like an Irma 
Thomas or a Swamp Dogg needs somebody to take a big chance, even if it's 
the only chance.” And age or race doesn't make a damn bit of difference, 
citing John Lee Hooker's revival as an example: "He's got the dollars behind 
him! Imma Thomas is just as talented as John Lee Hooker, and a lot better 
looking, but if she had the dollars, she'd be a smash hit." 

Probably the best part about Re-Jnvention is that his style hasn't changed 
drastically. He doesn't sound like some trend-chasing American going tropical 
for a day. “I've been listening to it all my life." says Swamp, “and I've been 
into Lord Kitchener since I was a boy, but when I decided to do it, | figured if 
you're gonna do it, you go all the way. Don't try to drag no funk into it, don't 
try to drag none of my other influences---blues or nothin’. That's like if | 
decided I was gonna be gay, I'd go to WORK---I'd put on a dress and the 
whole nine yards! Fuck it!" He was speaking of his calypso album, but it 
could stand as a metaphor for his whole career. Swamp Dogg has definitely 
gone all the way, leaving boundanes in the dust. 

EPILOGUE: 

This interview was conducted shortly before Swamp Dogg came to Chicago as 
part of the annual Bluesfest in Grant Park, his first Chitown appearance in 35 
years (when he was sul! Little Jerry Williams, he played at the Club DeLisa). 
His appearance was part of an afternoon showcase spotlighting blues 
songwniters (moderated by blues musician/writer Larry Hoffman). Since two 
ot use Bestled (Masparet Sones on and Bob Jones) weren't coaarre per se, 








they spoke of their art and then played their songs on a boombox. 
Chicago R&B institution Cash McCall subbed for an ailing George 
Jackson (who wrote several latter-day hits for Z.Z, Hill and Johnnie 
Taylor)---although McCall is a fine writer and performer himself. in 
keeping with the songwriter theme he did a set of tired Willie Dixon 
warhorses like "I'm Your Hoochie Coochie Man,” with loud, long guitar 
solos, impressing the aging Clapton fans to no end. For a man who 
appears to be more comfortable producing than performing, Sw amp 
Dogg did a fine job of closing the show, bringing the usual off-the-cuff 
edgy humor to his monologue that manifests itself in his music. At one 
point, he prematurely asked the audience for questions when Hoffman 
kindly asked if Swamp could save that for the end of his spicl. 
Offhandedly, Swamp replied. "Hey, man, I'm not trying to MODERATE 
the shit!," which like every other remark from his mouth, left the 
audience in stitches, but still had that sacred ring of truth. 
A SELECTED SWAMP DOGG RECORD GUIDE by James Porter 
THE BEST OF SWAMP DOGG 

TOTAL DESTRUCTION TO YOUR MIND (Canyon. 1970) 

RAT ON! (Elektra. 1971) The two albums that started the show Looking back. 
Total Destruction is like a total reaction to the plastic soul sound of the penod. 
While other producers would assemble a vocal group. string and horn sections. 
and a wah-wah guitarist (to get the white kids”) in one studio and let them battle 
it out, nothing is wasted to excess on Swamp Dogg's debut LP. Yes. there's the 
guitar obbligatos of Pete Carr, Swamp's own gospel piano. and the usual horn 
section. but it's mainly Robert Popwell’s bass playing that defines the sound. You 
can hear his forbidding pulse to best effect on "The World Beyond.” holding 
down the bottom while Swamp recites a scarifying tale of life after wartime. "The 
Baby Is Mine.” a child-custody song not to be confused with “Mama's Baby --- 
Daddy's Maybe” (also on the LP), is almost too much for one siting ("When I 
come by the house/I’'m quiet as a mouse/but he always starts something every 
time...I got my rights/she might be his wife/but the baby is mine!"). While this 
album isn't as out-there as similar soul experiments like Funkadelic or Gil Scott- 
Heron, songs like "Synthetic World.” “Redneck.” or the title track sound a lot 
more authentic than (admittedly great) Motown trifles like "Ball Of Confusion” 
or "Friendship Train." Swamp Dogg was speaking his mind---the Motown songs, 
on the other hand. were written to cash in on a fad. Rut On! is slightly more 
normal---the protest nffs. with the exception of "God Bless America.” are less 
bitter and more generalized. and there's a few more cheating and infidelity songs 
("Creepin' Away.” "That Ain't My Wife”) than previous, but the Dogg is still in 
top form. These two albums are available on one disc---you have your choice 
between the English reish on Charly vs. the U.S. version. Buy the American 
release---it's on Swamp's own label (SDEG). so at least the money goes back in 
his pocket! 

GAG A MAGGOTT (Stone Dogg. 1973) As with Rus On’. the protest overtones 
have been toned down in favor of his #2 specialty (cheating songs with a bizarre 
twist). Since Stone Dogg was distributed by TK (the famed Miami soul tabel 
from the 70's that deserves an article of its’ own). he's got damn near the whole 
roster pitching in: George McCrae (soon to record "Rock Your Baby”) and his 
wife Gwen ("Rockin’ Chair), and the underrated guitar of Little Beaver. who cut 
some fine jazz-influenced blues discs of his own. Here. he gets off some soulful 
summing on “Please Let Me Kiss You Goodbye.” gets funky on “Choking To 
Death From The Ties That Bind,” and pretends he’s Jerry Reed on the countryish 
“Plastered To The Wall." There's also an early attempt at calypso ("T T") and 
the infamous "Wife Sitter." 

SWAMP DOGG'S GREATEST HITS (Stone Dogg. 1973) Never mind that 
album title---the cover has question marks all over it. as if to say. "WHAT 
hits?!?" At feast three of these songs deal with racial unrest. including the first 
version of "Call Me Nigger” (with the card-carrying KKK member on banjo). 
“Paradoxical,” “Forever Hold Your Peace.” and “Don't You Try To Be My Man” 
are mixed-up tales that could only come from the pen of Swamp Dogg himself. 
This also includes both sides of his 1973 single for Brut (cologne manufacturers 
who dabbled in recording)---"Buzzard Luck" is a bizarre hard-luck tale ("Went to 
the draft board/Dressed like a girl/I got classified 1-A/they said I'd build morale”) 
that was backed with his desire to make it to the covers of "Ebony & Jet.” 


63 


('M NOT SELLING OUT/1'M BUYING IN! (Takoma, 1981). For a while there. it 
really looked like Swamp Dogg's career would take off with this one. Takoma was a 
longtime folk label that was starting to experiment with rock music (via a distribution 
deal with Chrysalis, then cleaning up with all that Pat Benatar moncy). Things were 
already going well with releases by the Fabulous Thunderbirds and the Sir Douglas 
Quintet, and it looked like Swamp Dogg would be next in Sine. when a chain of FM rock 
Stations started playing “Wine, Women & Rock & Roll” from this album. As Swamp 
tells it: "They were goin’ out of business as they were signin’ me...(but) why teil me? 
Wasn't my business, I guess. But what I did find out, | was supposed to have been a 
Chrysalis artist. and it didn't happen....the record company refused to make up a 
promotional 45 (of "Wine, Women, Etc.")...1 mean. what the fuck could that have cost 
them? $300 to make up a hundred of them motherfuckers? They actually didn't want 
me to happen---it was a lot of politics there. 1 wasn't supposed to happen, and, hey, 
they made their point." Too bad---one of Swamp's finest records got lost, one of his 
most powerful statements apart from the debut album. The election of Ronald Reagan 
to the presidency (and the country's sudden shift to the right) brought a fire to Swamp's 
lyrics that he hadn't had in years, including "Low Friends In High Places,” “California Is 
Drowning & I Live Down By The River,” "It's Just A Little Time Left.” and even "Total 
Destruction To Your Mind Once Again'" A coke-addled Esther Phillips made one of 
her final recorded appearances on "The Love We Got Ain't Worth Two Dead Flies,” a 
bitchy duet which features the late R&B singer giving it to Swamp as good as she gets 
if. Too bad that Takoma/Chrysalis couldn't get “off their ass,” like the poor folks 
mentioned in "Little Time Left,” and make this LP a smash. I would have loved hearing 
the Dogg sandwiched between REO Speedwagon and the Cars on the FM frequency. 
UNCUT & CLASSIFTED 1-A (Charly, English import, 1981) 
THE BEST OF SWAMP DOGG (War Bride. 1982) Somewhere in the U.S.. the 
Takoma album was kicking up a lot of noise, since these reissues popped up around the 
same ume The Best Of Swamp Dogg makes a great primer for those not in the know. 
I's also worth noting for (a) the cover, which features a butt-nekkid Swamp covered in 
relish. superimposed between a hot dog bun, and (b) tongue-in-cheek liner notes that 
started the untrue rumor about Swamp having to drive a cab to make ends meet. Uncur 
is a bit more off the path, compiling songs from Greatest Hits and Rat On! and 
sweetening the pot with tracks from an unissued 1972 session that features new versions 
of “Mama's Baby." "God Bless America." and a take on "Synthetic World” that | 
actually prefer to the original. It's preceded by "Swamprapp Two,” a great bit of studio 
chatter that features Swamp introducing the members of his band, including guitarist 
Jesse "Pete" Carr ("he's been on both albums. he's played with me at peace rallies, he's 
had things thrown at him..."). Some argue that you can only hear this kind of 
spontaneous, spoken-word jive on reissues once, but as with "Little Village" from Sonny 
Boy Williamson's Bummer Road LP. for me this plays as well as any piece of pure 
music you could name. 
SURFIN' IN HARLEM (Volt, 1991) One of his meanest albums ever. Right when 
Afrocentrism was becoming popular again, he dusted off "I've Never Been To Africa” 
and "Appelle-Moi Noir” (a/k/a "Call Me Nigger") from Greatest Hits, as well as 
reviving "Who Do They Think They Are." originally recorded in 1970 by Raw Spitt. 
(NOTE: Raw Spitt was actually Charlie Whitehead. and conceived as an alternate outlet 
for the songs of Swamp Dogg. There were two albums released under this name. 1970's 
Raw Spitt on Canyon, and Maybe You Ain't Black on United Artists.) The tongue-in- 
cheek ttle track is far more edgier than, say, “Soul Surfin’ U.S.A." by the Bus Boys. 
Elsewhere, he muses over failed love affairs. casts a passing glance at the AIDS virus 
("....And I Get Me Somebody Else”), and gets nostalgic for the fifties with "I Want To 
Hear Some Rock 'N' Roll” and "My Blue Heaven" (which goes farther back than 1955, 
when Fats Domino recorded it). Swamp actually hires a guy named DJ E. Hustle to give 
the scratch-mix treatment to several old R&B classics during the rock ‘n' roll song---it's 
weird hearing Don Gardner (of "...and Dee Dee Ford" fame) go “whoa whoa whoa...” 
(from “I Need Your Loving”) out of context, but it works somehow, even if it is against 
the beat. 
THE RE-INVENTION OF SWAMP DOGG (SDEG, 2000) It makes sense, the idea 
of Swamp Dogg recording a calypso album. Many performers in that field go to great 
lengths to write truth-telling lyrics. which explain why Swamp is so popular in 
Carribean territories. This is a far more worthwhile effort than “T T" from Gag A 
Maggott. primarily because he recorded this album with actual Carribean musicians. 
He's doing mostly love songs ("Sugar Bum Bum”, "Ain't A Nineteen- Year-Old Got A 
Thing On You"), and even praises the love of Jesus on one cut, but he still has time to 
preach about various social ills. on "Galactic Zoo." “We Need A Change," and 
“Artificial Insemination." 64 


ANTHOLOGY -.--Little Jerry Williams (SDEG, 2000) Before he was Swamp 
Dogg, he played the game by the rules as Little Jerry Williams, producing (and 
opening up for) various acts up and down the R&B highway. Although a couple 
of these songs were hits on the soul charts (1964's "I'm The Lover Man,” 1965's 
“Baby, You're My Everything"), he never really got past lower-rung status. With 
some compilations of old singles, you can listen and understand why the songs 
weren't hits. THIS ISNT ONE OF THEM! Of course. I'm probably the biggest 
Dogg freak besides the Dogg himself. but this isn't just blind fanboy raving. 
These songs were all recorded between 1954-69. so they cover a broad stylistic 
termifory. "HTD Blues.” a scratchy ‘54 acetate "that had been played, sat on, and 
run over.” according to Swamp, is a fiery jump number with plenty of rolling 
piano. One 196i single. “I'l Always Remember b/w “I'm So Mad.” is 
reminiscent of Wilson Pickett's early work with the Falcons. predicting soul 
music by a few years. The Motown and Philles sounds are accounted for, 
sounding slightly funkier than anything Berry Gordy and Phil Spector could have 
come up with. When the Academy label signed him as a "black Jerry Lee 
Lewis". he responded with "Hum Baby” b/w “She's So Devine.” which stood 
"Great Balls Of Fire" and “High Schoot Confidential” on their heads. And if you 
think he can be a convincing calypso singer, you should hear his Latin-soul 
number ("Kako's Boogaloo”), with enough sliding salsa trombones for the Fania 
All-Stars. This is a quality compilation of obscure soul music. but don't be 
fooled---it's NOT for collectors only. 

THE WORST OF SWAMP DOGG 
SWAMP DOGG (Ala. 1982) I don't care what anybody says: disco STILL 
sucks, and no retro movement will change my mind. I'm sure it helped keep 
certain older soul singers from starving, but what about the ones that made disco 
records and flopped? Like Syl Johnson (Uptown Shakedown), Z.Z. Hill (The 
Mark Of Z.Z.), and this bomb from Swamp Dogg? This quick-buck job was 
recorded in "79, but not released until ‘82, by which time this album was already 
dated. Swamp had two things in his favor by then: the (very) mtid success of /'m 
Not Selling Out, and the fact that Z.Z. Hill, back from the disco doldrums, 
recorded a Swamp Dogg composition ("Right Arm For Your Love") on the B- 
side of “Cheating In The Next Room.” a huge sout hit in 1981. Ala released 
Swamp's original as a 45, to no avail (truthfully, Z.Z. Hill's version was superior). 
Apart from "Right Arm" (the album version featured this as part of a medley with 
the old standard, "For Your Love") and a passing-fair "Happy Birthday, You Dog 
You.” this is gunning strictly for the dance floor, with lots of "Ring My Bell" 
woop-woop effects. Features a cheesy cover by Rhonda "Voo" Klapper (who 
also illustrated the sleeves to the jackets for Laff. Ala's comedy subsidiary): a 
cartoon which features Swamp, dressed in a Fred Flintstone caveman outfit, 
standing in a swamp getting bitten by a dog! Get it? No wonder | always see this 
one accidentally filed under comedy. 

PICK AND CHOOSE 

CUFFED, COLLARED & TAGGED (Cream, 1972) This was originally 
supposed to be titled Cuffed, Collured, Tagged & Gussed(explaining the. gas 
mask he wears on the back cover), but something got lost in the translation. The 
album leads off with "Sam Stone.” a John Prine-penned song about a Vietnam vet 
who dies a junkie. Swamp delivers a powerful reading that received solid airplay 
on FM rock stations. This was also released as a single: unfortunately, Al Kooper 
unknowingly released his version as a seven-inch around the same time. killing 
each other's chances for a hit. The homs are more pervasive than on his first two 
LP’s, yet it still retains a spare feel, with lots of bass in your face. Also 
recommended: "Knowing I'm Pleasing Me & You" (flip of “Sam Stone”), “In My 
Resume,” and "You Say You Trust Your Mother.” Swamp's hate letter to the 
right wing ("You're the first in line at any parade shouting hip. hip, hip. 
hooray/But at a freedom march, or a peace love-in, to hell with them is what you 
say"). 
HAVE YOU HEARD THIS STORY??? (Island. 1975) Of ail Swamp Dogg 
LP's, this one pops up in the used bins the most (usualiy with a cut-out hole and a 
low price tag). This has one of the most demented covers ever. on the front. 
Swamp is wearing an outrageous all-red outfit-~red pimp hat, red T-shirt (with a 
cartoon bear), and red shorts. With that same cartoon bear on the crotch. He's 
surrounded by not only hundreds of self-help books, but three earlier albums 
(Total Destruction, Cuffed, Gag A Maggot---couldn't gel permission to use the 
Elektra elpee?), in a shameless bit of self-promotion. On the back, the usual 
smartass liner notes, damning his previous record labels. And the music? Well. 


there's a theme running through side one about his nervous breakdown (and the doctor 
who erroneously claimed it was a heart attack). And side two has “God Ain't Blessing 
America," "When He Was No One" (a cynical knock at Jesus freaks), and “Did I Come 
Back Too Soon Or Stay Away Too Long?,” which foretold the current soul-blues craze 
for homosexual love triangles by a good 22 years (ala “Bill” by Peggy Scott-Adams). 
FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH MYSELF (Musicor, 1977) Nine years after then- 
Musicor label head Art Talmadge fired him from the company for producing a soul 
single on white pop-rocker Gene Pimey ("She's A Heartbreaker,” Pimey’s last hit, 
featuring Swamp and Charlie Foxx on backing vocals), he cuts an album for the same 
firm. A respectable attempt at disco, with much more heart than the Ala album. 
Including “My Heart Just Can't Stop Dancing,” deliberately stolen from Leo Sayer's 
“You Make Me Feel Like Dancing.” On the back, this album is credited to Swamp Dogg 
& the Riders Of The New Funk---as Swamp said later, “when peopie put it on...they 
were waiting for a New Funk, and it was anything BUT New Funk! It was Devoid Of 
Funk, Period!" Also includes “Understanding California Women" (he can't), one of his 
earliest protest songs about Los Angeles. 

UNMUZZLED! (Charly. English import, 1983) More odds ‘n' ends for collectors. 
including unissued outtakes, "The Baby Is Mine” from Total Destruction, and four 
songs from Greatest Hits: "Paradoxical," "Eat The Goose Before The Goose Eats You,” 
“Call Me Nigger,” and "I've Never Been To Africa.” 

i CALLED FOR A ROPE AND THEY THREW ME A ROCK (SDEG, 1989) He's 
going a little overboard with those crude synth effects, but it doesn't hide some of the 
better songs undemeath, like "Come To L.A.” ("Go to the kitchen, get something to 
drink/DAMN! This Water Stinks'”) and his version of the Bellamy Brothers’ "I'd Lie To 
You For Your Love." Also includes "Shut Your Mouth," his black-history rap song. 


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65 





cee i ee ae a 


“MA CEO! 7 by Jake Austen 


Maceo and the Macks? Maceo /S the mack! Though the great Maceo 
Parker may not seem appropriate for an issue focusing on comedy. 
novelty and ridiculous recordings, two things made his appearance in 
these pages inevitable. Firstly, as saxman extraoirdinaire with the two 
greatest funk units of ali time, the JBs and P-Funk, he has firsthand 
knowledge of a pair of collectives whose recorded and live legacies 
always tempered their grit and soul with absurdity. And secondly. 
c'mon? Like I'm going to tum down a chance to rap with one of the 
architects of The Funk? 

Maceo made his mark in musical history with distinct tenor sax work 
on some of the greatest James Brown and the JBs sides of the 60s and 
70s. When not laying down bullet proof solos. he’d demonstrate his 
flavor by maneuvering in and out of the funky drummer's deep 
grooves with a mixture of playfulness and super-tightness. His first 
solo (and still his favorite, “because prior to that | always wondered 
how it would be to walk into a place, put a coin in the thing and see 
how I sounded”) was the immortal “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag,” and 
his stellar work also enlivens, “Cold Sweat.” “Damn Right I Am 
Somebody,” “Doin* It To Death” and countless other classics. After 
years with Brown, Parker took a ride on George Clinton’s P-Funk 
mothership, and for the last decade or so he’s been exploring solo 
albums. including some Smooth Jazz ende avors on Verve, and more 
recently, Funk explorations on the What Are Records label. 

His latest album, “ dial:M-A-C-E-O” has Parker piling his plate high 
with all types of cuisines. Though the funk never gets downright 
nasty (Maceo2000 is all about dignity) old school fans will certainly 
be appeased by “Rabbit In The Pea Patch” (aclassic vamp and chant 
groove anchored by the mighty mantra “Rabbits in the pea patch, catch 
‘em, catch ‘em), the hidden track “Baby Knows,” and “Homeboy,” an 
old JB Horns number. While many Funkateers survive on a steady diet 
of Heavy, Maceo definitely sees the Lite, as demonstrated by covers of 
“Closer | Get To You.” the McCartney mellow-dy “My Love” and a 
duet with the James Taylor (the “ Fire & Rain” guy. not JT from Kool 
and the Gang, nor the acid-jazz guy ). Actually, the duets with Taylor 
and Ani Difranco are some of the more traditionally funky tunes, as the 
guests in the Temple of Maceo want to experience the great one in what 
they consider his natural habitat. However, you get the impression 
that Parker’s temperament runs more towards the unique track, 
“Greatest Romance Ever Sold.” In an odd variation on karaoke, Maceo 
took the original tracks of Prince’s e-a-z-y single and replaced the lead 
vocals with lyrical sax and flute lines. The album also features Latin, 
Hip Hop and Jazzy grooves. 

Discussing the new album was only a pretense , however, to my goal 
of getting some wild stories and funny answers from Parker 
concerning his days in the funk trenches. [ shoulda stuck to talking 
about the record. Pretty much every avenue 4 explored was a dead end. 
Did the notoriously fine-happy Ja mes Brown implement a dress code 
even in the recording studio? “No.” Did you ever have to wear 
anything crazy on the Mothership Tour? “No.” What's the funniest 
record you ever worked on” “Nothing comes to mind.” How nuts were 
the George Clinton recor ding sessions? “Most of the time when the 
horns came in everything else was laid down.” Is there any record you 
worked on that struck you as ridiculous? “Fred (Wesley) came to 
rehearsal once and said we got to say ‘Here we come, here we go, here 
we are...’ thought that was kinda...” 

At first { thought Maceo might just be tired from the tour, or bored 
by my questions. But the more I thought about it the more I realized 
that just because this man played on some out-there sides I was 
making some serious assumptions expecting a crazy personality. In 
fact, because Maceo had both feet on the ground while the people 
around him were directing their boots every which way but loose may 
explain why he still has chops, dignity and focus while many of his 
contemporaries have gone the “Behind The Music” or *Where Are They 
Now” routes. However, if this revelation had me expecting a sober, 
routine live show when Maceo brought his act to the Chicagoland area 
later that week, I was due to be di. sappointed. For to paraphrase his 
purple collaborator, Maceo’s suburban set would prove to be “The Jam 
Of The Year.” 66 


roo} ax STRANGE “ieee 





From the moment [arrived at the auditorium at Elgin Community 
College, an hour outside the city, it was obvious that this was gonna 
be a weird one. The plush performing Arts Center seemed more 
appropriate for a lecture than a funk fish fry, and when the towel 
waving opening Hip Hop act was supported by a DJ who only had one 
turn table and had to stop between songs. we knew we were in the 
suburbs. As elderly volunteers in red jackets went around telling 
people to get their feet off the chairs, it seemed like we were in for a 
strange, strange night. Most disturbing was the fact that there were 
only about 80 people in the cavernous room. Surely this was an 
inauspicious early omen for Maceo's still young tour. 

Then the magic happened. As soon as Maceo was announced the 
modest crowd jumped to their feet and for the next coupla hours never 
took their seats again, dancing their narrow Elgin asses off to the best 
of their ability. And Maceo gave them plenty to work — with, treating 
the room as if it were the packed Regal Theater. With longtime 
sideman Ron Tooley on trumpet, a full on Hammond B-3 organ in tow 
and atight, tight combo, he opened with a half hour of songs that was 
basically one long, funky vamp. In addition to the disti net voice of 
his sax and lots of amazing flute jams, Parker also showcased some 
fairly solid singing and, most dynamically, some serious moves! Of 
all he learned from James and George. nothing seemed to eclipse the 
lessons on crowd moving, and thus, synchronized steps. sharp suits 
and party vibe-ology was in full effect. 

Perhaps the most interesting moment was revealed during one of the 
set’s rare weaker moments. As they performed “Greatest Romance.” 
Prince’s vocal chorus was carried by the back up trio, who didn't seem 
to have a handle on the harmonies to pull it off. The two men were 
singing in similar voices, and the older woman's range seemed to have 
dropped to a point where she wasn't far off from the fellahs. With such 
atight band it seemed odd that Maceo wouldn't have the top support 
singers. Then the reason for their presence revealed itself. These were 
not your average backup singers, thi s was a Funk All Star team (OK, 
maybe the All Star reserve team). The youngest of the three was there 
by glorious nepotism, Corey Parker (Maceo’s son), who can sing solid, 
but really is there to add some hip hop flava to the mix. The lovely 
lady was none other than Martha High, a featured vocalist with the 
James Brown band in the 1970s. Parker had her tak ecenter stage to 
sing Lyn Collins’ “Think (About It)” (though we would have loved to 
hear her own “He’s My Ding Dong Man ”). And last but certainly not 
least, was Sweet Charles Sherrell, also a featured James Brown vocalist 
in the 70s. Sweet Charles thrilled the crowd, moving like a 
combination of Antonio Fargas and your favorite 70s Soul Train 
dancer. Much like his single * Soul Man” that he performed for Don 
Cornelius and the gang back in the day, Charles took the spotlight to 
breath new life into some dusty classics. Seeing these characters shine 
really made the night something special. And holding court over it all 
was the great Mr. Parker, who, after exhausting encore af ter encore, left 
Elgin a better place for his visit. 

I want to keep spouting hyperbolic praise, but I learned that Maceo is 
all about keeping it cool. Lest I forget that, I only need recall his final 
interview answer of the question [just had to ask: Do you ever get sick 
of people just seeing you and yelling (a/a his beckoning by the 
Godfather on the James Brown records) “MACEO'” 

No, no.” the great one replied, keeping his serious demeanor. but 
answering with a cool sincerity that seem ed to really weigh the idea. 
“Everything’s fine... everything's fine.” 


Featuring articles on ALLAN SHERMAN, ROBERT MOOG, CHAINO, 
NERVOUS NORVUS, acolor spread of WEIRD LP COVERS, WILLIE 
TYLER AND LESTER, SAM ULANO and MORE! 64 whopping pages 
of musical mayhem and marness! For single isgues, send $3.95 - 
$1 postage (USA &Can }, $6 elsewhere. To subseribe (4 issues) 

op ceud 814 (U.5.), $18 (Canada) 

(Other countries: $25, U.S. funds only) 

Deeicate fo Untwal Sound! 


1101 Colby Ave. 
Waguzine Evevrett, WA USA 98201 





The real x/t on... 


XUXA! 


By Brian Mier 


Meet Xuxa 

In a cavernous hall of screaming Brazilian children, a flimsy space 
craft descends through a shower of sparks and wafts of dry ice smoke. A 
door slides open and a tall, garishly dressed blonde woman emerges in 
silver platform boots. She walks down the spaceship’s ramp to a_ disco 
beat and a costumed dwarf hands her a microphone. She greets the crowd 
and blows kisses in all directions. The music volume diminishes and she 
distributes typical breakfast food items to the audience who are held back 
from the stage by the Paquitas and Paquitos, blonde teens who look like 
skimpily dressed extras from the Nutcracker. It is a typical moming in the 
early 90s on Globo, the world’s fourth largest television network. It’s the 
beginning of another Xou da Xuxa (pronounced “Show da Shusha”) and 
millions of children in Brazil and 15 other nations around the developing 
world glue themselves to the television set for another 5 hours of poorly 
dubbed He-Man cartoons, Bozo’s Circus-style audience participation 
games and lip-synching by international musical guests. Three hours into 
the show, after a series of overt and covert pitches for Xuxa shoes, Xuxa 
diapers. Xuxa sunglasses and Xuxa school materials, the “Queen of the 
Little Ones” announces her next musical guest, Erasure. As the Paquitas 
and Paquitos work the screaming crowd, Andy Bell saunters out to center 
stage lip synching an Abba cover. A look of amusement spreads over 
keyboardist Vince Clarke’s usually emotionless face as a bearded man in 
a giant green bee costume sits down next to him and pretends to play 
along on the synthesizer. The camera pans to a poor looking black woman 
in the audience who holds up a sign that says “Xuxa, you are an angel of 
god.” 

Xuxa (whose real name is Maria de Graca Meneghel) is one of the 
worlds 40 wealthiest entertainers. She was born in Southern Brazil (which 
looks and feels more like Europe than Latin America), in a military family 
of Polish, German and Portuguese descent. She was tall and had blue eyes 
and brown hair. During the late 70s she began modeling and was quickly 
discovered by soccor icon Pele, who is known in Brazil as “The King.” 
They were commonly seen together that year on Ipanema beach and in 
Rio’s most fashionable discotechs. Xuxa, who was still a teenager, began 
to get offers to do all kinds of projects. She posed nude for magazines and 
made a few soft-core porno movies. Then she was offered job hosting a 
children’s show on the Manchete network. The Xuxa show came out of 
the tradition of American children’s variety shows like Howdy Doody, 
Garfield Goose and Bozo’s Circus, with cartoons, goofy costumed 
characters, visiting guests and children’s games. [t was an instant hit and 
was quickly bought up by the much richer Globo network. There were 
reports that Xuxa was mean to children off camera, which Globo quickly 
spun by saying, “that is because Xuxa is really a big child herself.” With 
Globo’s prodding, she quickly began to cultivate the image of the 
vulnerable, childlike sex kitten. Her popularity soared with daddies 
around the nation. Enrollment in the morning sessions of Brazil’s 
notoriously underfunded public school system plummeted as children 
begged their parents not to make them miss their daily dose of Xuxa. 
Meanwhile, in an interview Xuxa mentioned that she didn’t really like 
hosting a children’s show and hoped to soon move on to bigger and better 
things. 

The Fetishism of Race 

From its outset, the Xou de Xuxa had a disturbing racial vibe that is 
characteristic of all of the programming on Globo. To understand why a 
children’s show in the country with the world’s second highest black 
population would have an all blonde cast it is important to understand a bit 
about the company that produces it. 

Globo television network was founded in the early 1960s through an 
illegal collaboration between media magnate Roberto Marinho and Time 


Life corporation. The U.S. had just helped install an oppressive 
dictatorship and Marinho was interested in using television as a means of 
social control with which he could uphold the conservative beliefs of his 
Close friends in the Brazilian military. Time Life flew in a group of 
consultants from an affiliate station in Indianapolis, Indiana. According to 
many of the workers at the time “the Americans ran Globo for the first 
year.” ( stort ret 

One of the things that the Americans did was create a mirror of the 
racial makeup of American TV. To this day Brazilian television continues 
to project the image that, in order to be rich and successful, you have to be 
white. This image leaves the black, Indian and mestizo majority of the 
Population with a sense of social exclusion and inadequacy that is 
especially damaging to children. Despite this, Globo’s powerful news 
agency does its best to uphold the myth. started in the 1930s by the white 
sociologist Gilberto Freire, that Brazil is a country where racism doesn’t 
exist. 

The fact that the most popular children’s show in Brazil didn’t contain 
any characters who were not white and blonde disturbed many Brazilians 
but was rarely allowed to come up in the media. When it did come up, the 
Xuxa PR engine was quick to respond with, “how could Xuxa be a racist 
if she dated Pele for so long?” American academic Amelia Simpson says 
that Pele was the perfect token for Xuxa because Pele is so popular that 
he is not really considered black by most Brazilians, but a kind of living 
God. 

The claim of Pele as Xuxa’s token doesn’t hold up to close scrutiny 
because Xuxa's svengale-like manager, Marlene Mattos, is also black, a 
fact that critics like Simpson commonly ignore. 

Even so, Xuxa hasn’t done much to rock Globo’s white supremacist 
boat. She has appeared in black face many times, often hamming it up 
with Grande Otello, the Brazilian Sammy Davis Jr. She has also made 
several disturbing comments to the press, like the time she said that her 
Paquitas were all blonde because the audition was too difficult for any non 
blonde to pass. 

After an unsuccessful hiatus on English language TV, Xuxa has 
imported tokenism back into Brazil and her Paquitas are no longer all 
white. Still, a comment by Brazilian journalist Arnaldo Jabor sums up the 
first 10 years of the show nicely: 

“Xuxa emerged from the lap of a black man into the world of the 
media. And a strange birth it was for Pele to perform. A “pure” blonde, 
practically an actress in a Nazi film.... building an empire of blonde purity. 
a Third Reich of eunuch “little ones”. (quoted in Simpson: p. 164) 

The Kidnapping Cover-up Conspiracy 

In 1992 Xuxa was on top of the world, but Brazil’s economy was going 
down the toilet and it’s president was on his way to jail. One day two 
teenagers from Sao Paulo rigged up a yellow Chevette with a Bondesque 
system of remote controlled shotguns and parked in front of Globo studios 
in Rio de Janeiro during the taping of the Xou da Xuxa. A security guard 
walked over to ask them to move and was gunned down. A chase ensued 
during which gunfire was exchanged between the Chevette and the 
pursuit vehicle, an armored car. The Chevette turned the wrong way up a 
one way street and slammed head-on into a large sedan. The driver was 
killed instantly and the passenger suffered a severe throat wound. 
According to the ambulance attendant, during the ride to the hospital the 
teenager told him that they had planned to kidnap Xuxa and one of her 
Paquitas. When he arrived at the hospital, however, he was unable to 
speak because of the throat wound. The media waited in a frenzy for the 
moment when his throat would heal and he could talk. This never 
happened because that night he mysteriously died of what hospital 
authorities referred to as a heart attack. The following day the only witness 
to the murder of the security guard and the ensuing car chase also died 
under mysterious circumstances. The brother of one of the dead teens said 
that he had never seen either of them watching the Xuxa show and that he 
seriously doubted they were trying to kidnap her. Within a month the 
episode had completely disappeared from the media. A public backlash 
against Xuxa began to gather steam as rumors spread that she had sold her 
soul to the Devil, which is probably not that different than Signing an 
exclusive contract with octogenarian Roberto Marinho anyway. Xuxa 
began to show signs of a nervous breakdown. “Do you think I enjoy 
Singing and dancing around on TV all day as our country goes down the 
tubes?” she sobbed to the press. She began debating whether she should 
move out of Brazil and reputedly had an affair with Argentinean president 
Carlos Menem. 


68 


A Nagging Back Pain 

In 1993 Xuxa landed a deal to launch her show in English in the United 
States (it had already been popular on Spanish speaking TV in the US for 
several years). The hype began to build in Brazil, where several magazine 
covers featured a picture of her with Michael Jackson. Was Xuxa going to 
finally break into the most lucrative market in the world? The show was 
filmed by Mary Tyler Moore’s production company. who furnished her 
with Paquitas that reflected the racial makeup in the United States. It was 
aired nationally at 6 am and it quickly flopped. Apparently, only two 
people wrote letters to the production team about the show. One viewer 
complained that a children’s show host shouldn‘t wear such skimpy 
clothing. The other one complained that he couldn't understand a word 
Xuxa was saying and asked if they could replace her with someone who 
spoke English. She quickly returned to Brazil, announcing to the press 
that she had to stop filming in the US because of a “back injury”. 

Running on Cruise Control 

Since the mid ‘90s Xuxa has cut back her taping schedule. Today she 
only comes on TV two days a week. Her Sunday show, Planeta Xuxa, is 
geared towards teenagers who grew up with her. It is an enjoyable dance 
and music show which features interviews and performances with 
Brazilian and international guests in front of a live studio audience. 
Highlights include the makeover segment in which she will occasionally 
pick a flamboyant homosexual from the audience and have him made over 
like a woman with Xuxa beauty products. 

In 1997 she announced that she was going to have a baby out of 
wedlock and raise it without the help of a father. This was greeted with 
approval by most Brazilians, who have long theorized that Xuxa and her 
manager Marlene Mattos are lesbian lovers - a rumor that Xuxa has never 
denied. She gave birth to her daughter, Sasha, and had a private 
McDonald's built inside of her enormous mansion full of pet dogs. 
monkeys and sloths on her private island off the southern coast of Rio de 
Janeiro state. 

Today, Xuxa seems trapped in her youthful image. She has made 
regular visits to the plastic surgeon. During the past 5 years the style in 
Brazil has moved from breast reduction surgery to breast enlargement 


surgery. Xuxa recently went to New York and had liposuction and 150 mg - 


of silicon installed in each breast. In July she returned to the model 
runway for the first time in 10 years, wearing a bizarre black hairpiece, 
and was a huge success. Within one week her image graced the cover of 
nearly every magazine in Brazil, looking as beautiful as she ever has, 
which is really not that good compared to the average non-white Brazilian 
woman. 

As Xuxa approaches 40, holed up on her island, feeding extremely 
unhealthy food to her growing daughter, playing with her sloths and 
entertaining visitors like Mariah Carey, one thing is for sure - things are 
only going to get weirder. 

Meanwhile Svengale Marlene Mattos has announced a new project. 
She is creating what she calls “a female Menudo.” 

Movies 

Xuxa continues to make successful movies, which typically gross 
from $10-$ 20 million ( a big accomplishment in Latin America). These 
movies can be broken into two categories: Soft Porn, and post-"Queen of 
the Little Ones” children’s movies. Her last film Xuxa Requebra (1999) 
was a big hit in Brazil. 

Amor, Estranho Amor (Love, Strange Love) Love, Strange Love (1981) 
has become a cult hit all over Latin America because in this film Xuxa 
actually has sex with a “little one”. She plays a prostitute in a Sao Paulo 





with over 25 million records sold in Spanish and Portuguese. Her records 
are primarily made up of ‘80s style Euro-Disco, with simple call and 
response chants about binge foods like chocolate and popcorn and generic 
themes like “happiness”. To really appreciate Xuxa music it helps to go to 
a children’s birthday party in any poor neighborhood in Brazil. At these 
parties, the parents will commonly move their living room furniture into 
the front yard and drink beer and barbecue into the wee hours of the 
morning while scores of children get jacked up out of there minds on 
sugar and bounce around, screaming with joy in the empty, balloon strewn 
living room, singing along with song after song by Xuxa. 

Selected Discography (her first 10 years) 
Portuguese language records: Xou da Xuxa (1986), Xegundo Xou da Xuxa 
(1987). Xuxa Karaoke (1987. note: this is not a karaoke record), Xou da 
Xuxa 3 (1988), # Xou da Xuxa (1989), Xuxa 5 (1990), Xou da Xuxa Seis 
(1991), Xou da Xuxa Sete (1992). Xuxa (1993). Sexto Sentido (1994), Luz 
no Meu Caminho (1995), Xuxa 10 anos (1996), To de Bem com a Vida 
(1996) 
Spanish Records: Xuxa (1989), Xuxa 2 (1991), Xuxa 3 (1992). Todos Sus 
Exitos (1993), El Pequeno Mundo (1994). Xuxa Dance (1996) 
Mindbogglingly awful records by the Paquitas and Paquitos: Paquitas 
(1989), Paquitos (1990), Paquitas (1991). Paguitas Nova Geracao(1996) 
Selected sources: 


Simpson, Amelia. 1993. Xuxa: The Mega Marketing of Gender, Race and 


Modernity, Philedelphia: Temple Press. 


Herz, Daniel. 1989. A Historia Secreta da Rede Globo, Porto Alegre. 
Brazil: Ortiz. 
Veja, Istoe and Manchete (brazilian magazines), various issues. 





ren 


brothel who is hired to break the virginity of a prepubescent boy. She a 
slips into a Piushie costume and comes to him saying, “do you want to \ 
play with me? I’m a soft teddy bear, so soft, so soft.” Xuxa moans as the “} 
boy touches her breast. 

Super Xuxa contra Biaxo Astral (Super Xuxa Vs Mr. Bad Vibes) Super 
Xuxa versus Mr. Bad Vibes (1988) is a good introduction to her painfully 
unwatchable children’s movies. In this film, Xuxa’s cute little doggy is 
kidnapped by a shoddy Darth Vader clone named Mr. Bad Vibes. This 
movie, which cost about $1 million to make, was entirely paid for by 
product placements before it hit the theaters and became the most popular 
film in Brazil. 






Can't Stop the Music 
Xuxa began recording in 1986, despite her admission that she doesn’t 
have much of a voice. Within a few years she bumped legendary /e /e 
pioneer Roberto Carlos off the top of the charts and become the number | 
recording artist in Brazil. Today, she is one of the world’s top pop artists 


ROCK IS FUNNY wy dan buck 





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MASKED ROCKNROLL UPDATE Ee, 
THE NERDS - This punk band from Italy features, ES pe RST RRSP pont Da eRae oy 
Eggs, a paper bag over the head guitarist and | tea Y nae x ae 
Boss, a Klansman lead singer. Charming! a ae ere oe 

TREVOR AND SIMON - This Scottish DJ duo had their 
2000 Brit Hit “Hands Up” gain popularity through 
their video and public appearances where they wear 
giant paper mache heads as big as their torsos. 
X-RAY POP - Though it’s hard to read in this 
reproduction, this French 80s pop duo wore 
elaborate “Cats” like makeup. Interestingly this 
was released on RRRecords, the Massachusetts based 
noise label, and the noise community gave the 
label a pretty hard time for putting out his poofy 
stuff. Apparently this record has found a new 
audience in France and is available on CD. 


MONKEY ROCKNROLL UPDATE 


MORE MONKEY SONGS: “KING KONG SONG” - = ABBA, 
“Monkey Beat” - D.J. Monkey, “She’s A Monkey” - 
Bill Wharton, “Wanna Buy A Monkey?” - Barry White 
(The 1992 A&M sampler of the same name opens w/ 
the sexy voice of Barry asking that very question 

in a succinct, yet powerful, 10 second track) 

NEW MONKEY BANDS:Ape Hangers,DJ Monkey,Great Apes, 


MIDGET ROCKNROLL UPDATE 


JOSEPH BORUWLASKI - Joseph, a Polish born dwarf 
born in 1830 lived ion E ngland where he made his 
living from performing conce rts. His memoirs are 
available in English by M. des Carrieres. 

A note from our prison pal Shane Williams ( aka J- 
09243):“Sexual fetish for people of different 
height from you is called Anasteemaphilia. Maybe 
you can work that into your next midget update.” 
Pictures: (Clockwise from upper left) Eggs 
(Nerds), Trevor and Howard, Joseph Boruwlaski, X- 
Ray Pop, Boss (Nerds)holding up drummer El Pollios 






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TEEN IDOLS NERF HERDER ara Tee 


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LP/CD © LP/CD ACO 7] 


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ADVENTURES IN STEREO “Monomania” (Bobsled PO 
Box 6407 Aurora, IL 60598) Sampled und stolen pop 
cuteness which requires very little of the listener and offers 
about as much. 












The Adventures of Jet “Part 3. Coping With Insignificance” 
(My POB 41730 Santa Barbara. CA 93140) These besuited 
minstrels will be to 80s pop what the Stray Cuts were to 50s 
rock n roll! Ladies- get ready to clean the mousse off your 
bed chamber pillows! 


Against All Authority “24 Hour Roadside Resistance” 
(Hopeless POB 7495 Van Nuys. CA 91409) This swells up 
with wue American hardcore greatness at times. which ts 
always a welcome surprise 


Alice Deejay “Who Needs Guttars Anyway?” (Universal) 
Generic Euro-daunce where everyone sounds semi-taterested | 
blame poor English skills for the vocalist's uncompelling 
ulterences, but what ure the musician's excuses? 


aluminum sauce delight ($1. POB 70. Syracuse. NY 13210) 
A delightfully fucked up zine. Very delightful und very 
fucked up. 


The American Death Ray “Death Ray Breakdown" ep 
(Misprint POB 8189 Mufreesboro, TN 37133) This sounds 
hike the perfect day feels, one where you eut your fill of 
smoke. slathered barbecue. yet don't get a drop of sauce or 
grease on your clean white shirt. This record has that 
idealized balance of down home nasty and pure class. 


Apartment 26 “hallucinating” (Hollywood) You'd think 
Geezer Butler's young son would be called Whippersnapper 
Butler. But | guess Geezer was even called Geezer when he 
wus young now that | think about it. Anyhow, this second 
generation Rock and Roll Butler answers the door to the 
munsion and lets Kick Ass in! 


A Perfect Circle “Mer de Noms” (Virgin) A perfect cicle of 
poop. 


A Planet For Texas “You Can Still Rock In America” 
(Diaphragm 2480 Indianola Ave Columbus. OH 43202) 
Nusty punk-garage-counuy-RAWK with more attitude than a 
bulifight...but far less bullshit. 


AP2 “Suspension of Disbelief’ (Tooth and Nail) Listening to 
this is like being in a rock Cuisinart set to chop. 


Archers Of Loaf “Sounds Before The Accident” (Alias) It's 
2000. right? You're still allowed to play music that sounds 
like this? 

(Republic) 


artful dodger uk “re-rewind” Lightheaded 


danceadelic und groovy 


Auscar Morbid comix #8 (1621 N. Washtenaw Chill 60647) 
A bloody. funny choose your own ending comic with some 
bizarre 2 color offset auction. Vaughn Bode meets Flava Flav. 


Automatic 7 “beggers life’ (Vagrant 2118 Wilshire Blvd 
#361 Santa Monica CA 90403) Unlike ska. pop punk or 
swing bands who now have to figure out what to do to stil] 
exist in this climate, A7 was always a straightforward Punk n 
Roll band. not too furious. not to “emo” not to pop. so I'm 
sure they cun keep up the flow of beer and gas money. This 
release should keep them drink and riving a little while 
longer. 


Avail “One Wrench” (Fat) Made me want to put “A Veil” over 
my eyes and stuff cotton in my eurs. See no...hear no... 


Sebastian Bach in “Jekyll & Hyde.” Plymotuh Theater, NYC. 
After a too thick, dyed blonde, not cute impersonator fronting 
Skid Row at the Kiss “Farewell” concert in Chicago left me 
feeling ripped off and. yes, violated, I decided to fly to NYC 
to catch the real Sebastian Bach's debut on the Great White 
Way. When I got there I was greeted with (thankfully) 
outdated airport flyers for the play “Jekyll & Hyde" starring 
Bach's predecessor. Jack “Frisco Jones" Wagner. The beauty 
of that plugger was that it quoted Larry King as saying this 
was the best musical ever! The real eat came when I read an 
interview with Bach in New York's culture guide magazine, 
Time Out! while waiting in line for my Hot Tix. Though this 
falls somewhere between bad journalism and prosecutable 
infringement, I'm gonna reprint a good deal of what [ consider 
the greatest interview I've ever read:***Time Out: When was 
the last time you saw a Broadway musical? Sebastian Bach: 
Well. | saw part of Lez Miz. TO: How does one see part of 
Lez Miz? SB: Because it bored the hell out of me so I 
fucking left... (but) when 1 went to see Jekyll and Hyde, it’s so 
very Incredible Hulk...that’s about rock & roll. TO: What did 
you do for your audition? SB: 1 sang “This Is The Moment,” 
and when it goes “ahhhhhhhhh”-that's the big note in the 
song - | go “ahhhh” and then took it up a full fucking octave. 







a full fifth, These motherfuckers fell off their chairs. They 
thought it was impossible to do. but hell. {'ve been Singing 
metal my whole life. so get the fuck out of my way... TO: Do 
you know who you were up against? SB: I know Paul 
Stanley of Kiss sang for them. And a lot of actor guys...(bput 
I've been doing this a long time. And if you're gonna have 
five dudes doing a scream-off - who can hit the higher note, 
who can do it longer - ['m gonna win. ['m not bragging. but 
stating 4 fucking fact. Unless you get Robert Plant or the 
dude from Judas Priest. | will win. TO: Who gets the better 
songs, Jekyll or Elyde? SB: That's a great question. As 
Jekyll 1} sing with my “I Remember You" voice. As Hyde 1 
sing with my “Youth Gone Wild.” Slave To The Grind 
voice FO: You look pretty healthy... SB: Well | guve up 
hurd drugs and all hard alcohol in °93...in ‘91 | was 
completely nch and touring with Guns n° Roses - and geez, 
those guys don’t party ta” much...me and Slash would be at 
the ATM right down here in the Village. We'd killed a coupla 
eight balls-let’s get another $400 dollars out! But we can't 
remember the code to get it... “maybe it’s 4463-no! Maybe it's 
4662-no! Maybe it's 4669-no! Maybe it’s 7489."...we'd be 
Standing there. him in the top hut. me and the fucking hair. 
People would be walking by. “Yo. Slash and Sebastian 
Buch’™ And we're trying to get more blow...{ did a show in 
Detroit und cume offstage. it was summertime, and | had no 
shirt on and was heaving like [ just ran a marathon...a bluck- 
metal guy nicknamed Satan, goes, “Here's a line dude. but it’s 
really speedy. so watch tt" And I go, “I'm fucking the youth 
gone wild!” And I did the whole line and felt my fucking 
heart come out of my chest. [hit the floor und all J cun see is 
Satan tuughing at me... TO: Where does a guy find metal 
chicks in 2000? SB. Dude. when “I Remember You” was #3 
on Billbourd the girls that dug it were 12...they're 20 
now ..(cell phone rings) Hey babe - it's my wife. TO: You're 
married: (T)hat's got be tough being on tour and married. 
SB. Trust me. if you saw my wife, you would not feet bad for 
me."** That interview plagiarised thoroughly, now let me tell 
you about the show: Well. first of all Larry King is a fucking 
idiot. Almost all musicals are remarkably bad. the entire world 
of commercial theater. it seems. is like the Emperor's New 
Clothes where no one will admit to this bare ass naked 
(quality-wise) stuff just sucking. Blame Andrew Llovd 
Webber for bringing the quality down (at least Anthony 
Newley and the old school Musical gods like Gershwin and 
Berlin wrote fully functional pop songs). That said, it was 
thrilling to see Sebustian on the stage trying hard to affect a 
proper English accent. He still has the exact same body, and 
while his stim elongated figure with big. hunched shoulders 
negotiates a stadium stage well, his trademark carmage marked 


him as un outsider for the most part on the boards. As far as- 


his acting goes. he wasn't on the same level as the Broadway 
lifers sharing his stage, and he couldn't deliver pithy Oscar 
Wilde-esque lines with the droll delivery they require 
(“Pardon me for my good manners”) but even if he had they 
wouldn't have been funny. His lack of perfection actually, to 
me, made i( more successful, because you could really see him 
working his hardest and you couldn't help but root for him. 
As ponytailed Jekyll he’s keeps it together, but then comes 
the moment we've been waiting for, as he takes the 
Jekyll/Hyde juice, falls to the floor and his hand goes where | 
knew it would. .to his ponytail holder! The long Hyde/Bach 
emerges und he's up to whore killin’ no good! Though this 
was by no mena $ arock play. the pyro and violent FX must 
have felt comfy to Sebastian. Bach's voice wasn't a Broadway 
one and he didn’t blow the others away. in fact their seemed 
to be something in trying to sing in the B-way style that 
cramped his chops a bit, but he delivered big time on his two 
show stoppers. In one he blasts a monster power ballad and 
he really held even the non-Metal fans in sway (that would be 
most of the audience). I noticed during this song a smull 
guggle of young girls sneaking into an opera box to get a 
closer view. They kept their cool as much as they could 
during the tune but when the audience gave him his due 
afterwards these gals went Metal concert apeshit shrieking and 
cheering. They were soon escorted back to their proper seats. 
The money shot is a duet/solo between Jekyll und Hyde 
where Bach stands erect and dignified with his right profile 
Showing short hair and sings in his restrained voice. then 
suddenly pivots on the beut into a Rock and Roll crouch on 
his long haired (don't ask) left profile to sing the gruff Hyde 
lines. This super complex song took serious dexterity. and 
though he made a coupla tiny mistakes as the song reached 
wordy. faster crescendos (singing the first Jekyll line in Hyde 
voice, or stumbling on a sytlable) it was still a mighty 
triumph. The greatest moment was during the curtain call 
when Bach finally could be Bach and accepted the tuxedo 
crowd's cheers with all the rock stadium bombast possible. 
including fist punches. victory signs and that opened palm 
up thing where you start with your outstretched arms down 
low and wiggle your fingers while lifting your arms, leading 
the crowd in their swelling adulation. Awe-fucking-some! As 
soon as Rob Halford plays Oliver’ I'm going back! 


backlight braille “The Castle Of The Northern Crown.” “Otd 
Bones and Sacred Stones” (530 Flat Terrace Cincinnati, OH 
45232) I don’t know how to describe these really but suffice 
to say that after listening to these in thier entirety | looked and 
felt exactly like the ape thing that comes out of the chamber in 
“Altered States.” “The Castle...” has a weirder more narrative 
vibe, with an bizarre take on Arthurian medieval themes. but 
“Old Bones...” is the true enigma, with monks. minataurs and 
dragons referenced in title and truly in spirit. 


The Bangs “Sweet Revenge” (Kill Rock Stars) Banged my 
gong! By far the best record 1 played this week. and t took 
off a Wham record to put this on! Snotty, natural, raw punk 
with nasty Soul. Lemur themed artwork is also 4 plus. 


Bantam Rooster “Big Mess” ep (Flying Bomb Records P © 
Bomb Ypsilanti. Mi 48197) If you we're ina bar and this was 
the cover band playing nasty explosive versions of Devo 
ae und Gibson Bros. songs. you would Itkely drink your 
ass off! 


Barnes and Barnes “Yeah-the essential Barnes and Barnes” 
(Oglio POB 404-Y Redando Beach. CA 90277) B&B made 
some of the most disturbing novelty records of my prime Dr 
Demento devotee yeurs (I listened almost every Sunday from 
79-85 or so} and though their “Fishheads” tune is the only 
canonized classic. everything on this ts fully fucked 
Missing. sadly, is their “I Had Sex With” senes (E.T . Pac. 
Man. etc) which was basically a variation of the bumper 
stickers that say “Night Watchmen Do it After hours” or 
something of that ilk. so f guess it's no big joss Happiest 
surprise here is that the newer stuff is just as sick as the early 
stuff. Unpleasant surprise. it seems Billy Mumy really could 
wish me in the cornfield if he doesn't like this review 


Robert Belfour ‘What's Wrong With You” (Fat Possum) 
Spare beautifully recorded Country Blues guitar with a soulful 
expressive voice that redefines the tradivonal. Tuff stuff. here 

Heroin 


Best “Huwono” (Seriously Groovy) desperation 


grooves with sugar couting und glitter grit 


Beyond Description “Chaos Life In 1992” (Smog ‘Veil PMB 
454-774 Mays #10-LV, NV 89451) 1 want to describe this a s 
a Aasty hardcore/Death hybrid, but their name instructs me to 
not even try. 


Billionaire “Ascension” (Universal) A thousand umes more 
annoying than the music on the Regis Millionaire show 


Black Cat Music “One Foot In The Grave” b/w “institution 
green” (Lookout) Desperate ditties that do the do! 


The Blacks “Shattered” (Big Neck POB 8144 Reston. VA 
20195) This is music that would steal your milk money! 


Blind Herd Of Sheep compilation (El Sabado) A few names 
here(Fifteen. Fang. Engine 88) but some of the better tracks are 
by the obscurer contributors. Mr. harlequin. Jessica Rabbit 
and Outside In al) deliver some prime teenuge music 


Blonde Redhead “Melody Of Certain Damaged Lemons” 
(Touch and Go) The lost Chupmunks/Syd_ Bartrett concept 
album collaboration. 


Bluebird “the two” (Pacifico) I'd give this higher than the 
two, but lower than the 7. 


Bluetip “Hot Fast Union” (Slowdime/Dischord POB 414 
Arlington. VA 22210) This. by the way. ROCKS! Letung the 
drummer and bass player be innovative is. it seems. a vers 
good thing. 


Bodast “Spectral Nether Street’ (RPM) This record is of 
interest to supreme Psychedelia heads (of which | didn't think 
I was one) and to anyone who grooves on late sixties 
innovative Brit vibes. Though obscure. the band featured 
cult fave Steve Howe (not to be confused with the drug 
plagued Yankees pitcher...though listening to this the 
confusion is understandable) and thus these tacks have been 
previously compiled. However, those were with a slicker re- 
mastering and mixing by Howe himself. while these ure niw 
original mixes. | realized [ was a Psyche head when | 
remembered hearing the Cherry Red release of the re-mastered 
stuff. which is in many ways a better presentation. but after a 
couple of listens to this the rawness makes the R&B subtext, 
the fucking-around Psyche wheedling and the overall vibe 
make more sense. The extensive liners ulso feature great chuck 
Berry anecdotes. 


Sonny Bono “Inner Views” (Rhino Handmade. internet mail 
order only www.rhinohundmade.com) Sure. the out-of-touch 
social commentary of “Pammie’s On A Bummer” and the 
misdirected, one-take-only psychedelia of “i Just Sit There” we 
pretty goofy. but the undeniable truth ts that Sonny was 
capable of writing and producing better records than one-time 
mentor Phil Spector. and often did. Maybe the high artis in 
greater evidence on his records with Cher (see Sundazed's 
overhaul of their Atco catalog!), but dig “Laugh At Me™ (later 
covered by Mott The Hoople) which unwittingly 
foreshadowed Sony's ultimate public persona as a punch line. 
or the inexplicably-unreleased one-two punch single of 
“Misty Roses" (which rings a whole lot more believable than 
composer Tim Hardin's original) and “Cheryl's Goin’ Home." 
written by Bob “Elusive Butterfly’ Lind. Unfortunately 
conventional wisdom prevailed even on this obvious fabor- 
of-love reissue (itd. edition of 1500'). with the liner notes 
taking particular care to bust Sonny's chops. Some people 
just don’t get no respect. Perverse und wonderful 


Boswah comic by Nick Bertozzi (LUXurious) This Xeric Grant 
funded masterpiece tells the tale of 3 soldier in the middle of 
some fucked up Mexian/US border issues. and while we're 
getting all geographic. the hook here is that it's printed hike a 
map. not a book, which plays out less gimmicky and more 
beautiful than it sounds. Expressive cartoony figures really 
get the pain and power of the narrative across 


Bottlefly (Universal) Cap the bottle. zip the fy. Not really in 
any way bad, but extremely not interesting. 


Boys by Ronald J. Rege, Jer. and Joan Reidy ($4. Highwater 
P.O. Box 1956 Cambridge. MA 02238) This comic features 
some of the least awkward, most straightforward, honest 
seemung sex stories I've ever seen in the comic form. Usually 
“the act” when portrayed in a biographical comic makes me 
embarrassed for the artist because they've handled it so 
poorly. usually tempering their “honesty” with an undercoat 
of boastfullness. However, Ms. Reidy’s fresh perspective and 
Mr. Rege's unique cartoon style totally make this work. 


Bracket “When It All Farts’ (Fat POBox 193690 San 
Francisco. CA 94119-3690) Brack-tastic! 


Brainstorm “Ambiguity” (Metal Blade) Mightily and classily 
brutal. Couldn't follow the narrative, but loved it anyhow. 


Break Up Records Guide To Entertaining comp (Break Up 
POB 15372 Columbus. OH 43215) 1 generally dislike 
anything from Columbus. but every song on this is greatl 
Picks to Clock: Big Hello. KFM, Pat Dull. 


The Brood “Beyond The Vailey of The Brood” (Dionysius) 
“I love good books. but read Ugly Things, | LOVE tuff 
chicks. and The Brood still swings!” [ can't believe it's been a 
dozen years since I first wigged to the sounds this fine femme 
faction that craves all the action and puts my mind in traction 
when the deliver the Garage goods to complete satifaction! 
Thetr vision hasn't changed a bit. except that it's fair to say 
their playing’s tighter, generally better than before (but. unlike 
a lot of similar bands, they've never been spotty. always dead 
on). Some of the most authentic, heartfelt 60s Punk sounds 
can be found in these grooves. Made spiritually, if not 
physically, in the year Punk broke (1966) It's presented like a 
movie, and it IS a double feature of “The Wild Angels” & 
“Riot on Sunset Strip" with Scopitones and animated Rat 
Fink cartoons. Popcorn oozing with butter, and Cokes with 
crushed ice served in a booth for 15 cents. That's how real 
this feels. 


Dan Bryk “lover's leap” (Scratchie 61 E. 8th St. #276 NYC 
10003) [ shit a bryk when I heard this' If Randy Newman 
wasn't already the nerdy Randy Newman he could be the 
nerdy Randy Newman! 


Buffalo Nickel “Long Play 33 1/3” (Universal) Country music 
is often about the chips being down. This has the buffalo 
chips down. 


Bughouse by Steve Lafler (Top Shelf) Lafler's 80s comic book 
Dog Boy had its good points (I read every issue, so I must 
have Itked it) but there was some awkwardness to the art and 
storytelling and the comuc sometimes lost its footing when he 
got tanscendental. Though this book has passages 
portraying “tuips” (brought on by drugs, religion and death) 
Uney are for the most part masterful and satisfying in this hefty 
comix novel, and the art and script are fantastic. The story of 
a progressive Jazz musician's rise and bumpy battles with 
addiction are told with bug characters in this very musical (in 
flow as well as content) novel, but the buggines is 
inconsequential. other than it’s worth noting how remarkably 
sensuous he can make his bug gals when he wants to invoke 
a character's desirous male gaze. I very highly recommend this 
book to comix, jazz, and drug lovers everywhere. 


Bump-N-Uglies “Band Of A 1.000 Holds” (Chair Shot POB 
1994 Dearborn, MI 48121) This is a rasstin’ punk band, all 
members trained at wrestling schools, who end each show 
with a match where someone goes through a table. That said. 
this 1s a great rasslin’ single. 


Billy Burnette, Live, BroJimmy's, Chicago. Bro. Jimmy's, a 
combination sports bar/restaurant(for people who don't favor 
Black-owned mb joints) seemed an unlikely venue to 
showcase a member of Rockabilly’s Royal Family (His Dad 
was Dorsey.and his Uncle. Johnny Burnette). The ad only 
mentioned his stint in Fleetwood Muc (in their decline, which, 
I'd venture to say. actually began with Peter Green's departure). 
and the pitiful few (myself included) who heard about this 
show probably weren't sure if it would lean toward 
Rockabilly or Pop (as he was probably better known for 
doing tn the 80s). I'm glad to say it was a happy marriage 
between the two, Billy showing he can carve out a great song 
as well as his Dad could, while rockin’ just as hard as The 
Burnette Bros. in their heyday. [m reminded of Dave 
Edmunds (who ought to consider producing Burnette) when 
he proved that Rockabilly songs could have Pop hooks. 
AND kick ass. A handsome, confident Burnette made his way 
to the stage, sporting cat clothes and a naturally black coif, 
flanked by a top knotch band (veterans of Johnny Cash, 
Steve Marriot, Alexis Korner, Willie Nelson, Allison Krauss 
and then some!) it seemed he couldn't miss! Ah, how quickly 
I forgot where I was! Singing and playing guitar with passion 
and conviction, performing strong new material alongside hot 
covers of Rock n' Roll Tno faves, “Tear it Up", “Honey 
Hush", “Lonesome Train” and a smokin’ "Believe What You 
Say"(which Johnny .and Dorsey wrote for Ricky Nelson), | 
figured Billy could win over the yuppie crowd, as his cousin. 
Rocky Burnette and guitar great Paut Burlison did at Frankie's 
{a suburban pick up spot for middle aged crazies). But it 
didn't happen...most folks were more interested in their food 
or seeing who could out-drink whom, or when was the sports 
footage coming back on, anyway? Myself. 1 was shakin’ all 
over’ It was the best REAL Rockabilly show I'd seen in eons, 
and next ume out, in a more uppropriate venue, the Roots 
Music crowd will be eating this stuff up like the aging 
fratboys did their bar-b-cue! This minor setback out of the 
way. Burnette’s ain WILL keep a’ rollin’ 


Eddie C. Campbell “Hopes and Dreams” (Rooster Blues) 
There's a point on this where Eddie morphs Stevie Wonder's 
“Superstition” riff, Z. Z. Hill's “The Blues Is All Right” and 
about 2 gallons of FUNKY that defines this as a deceptively 
Progressive slab of contemporary bluesiness. Campbell is one 
of Chicago's weasures and it’s great to hear a record this good 
from him. 


Gene Carroll and the Shades “in this comer...” (Norton) 
From the “Huh?” Dept: This 45 is a coupla teen stompers, und 
a strained ballad. from the artist presently known as Mean 
Gene Okerlund (announcer of AWA. WWF and WCW 
wrestling fame). Huh? Weirder sull. the Nortonaires 
document that Gene was one dude away from Dylan on the 
Rock family tee?!? 


Caustic Resin “The After Birth’ (Alias 10153 1/2 Riverside 
Dr. ste. 115 Tolucsa Lake, CA 91602) Sounds like placenta. 
fellas...so it’s good for your complexion! 


Cement Head (390 Hooper St. #A4 Brooklyn. NY 1t2t1) 
Left me light headed...lighter than cement to say the least! 


Chicago Undeground Duo “Synesthesia” (Thnill Jockey) 
Whoever said, “In Spuce No one Can hear You Groove.” 
never heard this! Extraterrestrial smoove moves executed at 3 
level so outerwordly that if this doesn’t win a Grammy and a 
Nebula sci fi award Ill have to abduct someone myself! 


Chikmountain “Porn On The Cob” (Tachist 1643 13” St. 
NW #1 WDC 20009) Horrorgasmic madman “music” that will 
sacare the love of Satan into you. 


Chixdiggit “From Scene To Shining Scene“ (Honest Don's) 
An ambitious record as much as is possible in a genre (pop 
punk) that’s not exactly ambition driven. The stretch here 
involves turning some of these Pop-sicles into radio songs 
that actually function beyond the all-ages circle 


Chronic Future “4 Elements” (Beyond) Kung fu kicks and 
$20 tricks! 


Chumbawamba “WYSIWYG” (Universal) Reaches new 
levels of absurdity. Krusty anarchists with a big recording 
budget ca, it seems, be strangely dangerous. 


Clare Quilty “strong” (Dcide) Left me more wilty than quilty, 
but the voices are pretty, and if this was a friend's band I'd 
definitely be able to pretend [ liked them. 


The Clarks “Let It Go” (Razor and Tie POB 585 Cooper 
Station NYC 10276) All American, but I say that not meaning 
wholesome and heartlandish, but more that this encompassess 
all American pop waves and genres from the 50s tl now. 
Pretty amazing. 


The Clash “From Here To Eternity Live” (Epic) A tive Clash 
album....wellit's only about 20 years late, but, as I've only 
recently got back on ‘em again, so this'll work. Fans were 
asked to send in their recollections Re: seeing The Clash live 
for inclusion in the liner notes (1 saw the summer ‘82 tour, I 
thought they were great, and no one who saw the same tour 
agreed), a nice touch. The MUSIC,however, is more on the 
“Punk” tp (Thank God), tho’ the Reggae/Pop/Funk stuff 
sounds good, too. Strong versions of “Complete Control”. 
"What's My Name” and “City of The Dead”, plus a tuff 
sendup of “Capital Radio"(With a RIGHTEOUS ad lib by 
Stummer, "Yes, ! know you're a big D.J., but I want to hear 
“Wooly Bully” by Sam The Sham and The Pharachs...NO, 
NOT SHAM 69! SAM THE SHAM!!") Reminds me of 2 joke 
he once made during “Magnificent Seven"(which also sounds 
good here) about Daffy Duck getting a football scholarship to 
the University of Dallas (joke’s on him, there's no such place!) 
In the “ultimate irony” dept... there’s a live “Career 
Opportunities” from Shea Stadium(!) opening for The Who. 
no doubt (My girlfriend once saw the incredibly strange bill 
of The Clash, Journey. Elvis Costello, ‘and George 
Thorogood supporting The Stones.) But, it rocks, and.fuck 
me. | cared less about their political stance, and more that 
THEY ROCKED,MAAN (when they wanted to). Even in ‘82. 
they had it, stuff from the Ist album sounds just fine. thank 
you (as they did when I saw ‘em). Another argument I've 
raised is that songs from the not too fondly remembered 
“Combat Rock” LP were much better live. and there's proof of 
that here. In between, of course, you've got “London 
Calling” and “Train in Vain", and, on the spliff tip. "Guns of 
Brixton” and “Armagideon Time”. all laid out, successfully 
like one tive show. though the recordings are from 78 to 82 
(The year, and the song, 1977.are conspicuously 
absent,buy.hey..) I'm not saying The Clash are the best band 
in the world (I USED to say that). but ['m reminded now of 
why they are one of the best live bands I've ever seen. 
Contrary to most fans’ recollections. I just remember a very 
friendly crowd, no sneers if my threads weren't too cool (and I 
guess they weren't), and no real violence... THEN I saw the 
Dead Kennedys a month or two later, and THAT whole 
illusion was shot to Hell (Though by no fault of the DKs 
themselves). 


Clit Stop (Sweezlex $57 Howard 2nd Fl. SF. CA 94105) 
Musical alchemy that turns excrement and solid gold into each 
other indiscriminately and without value Judgement. Who ts 
to say gold is more valuable than shit? Joyful Jukebox 
Music if your jukebox had to power to play top 40 records 
inside out with a negative-positive reversal. Evil, but kindly 


$0. q 3 


The Concretes “Boy. You Better Run Now" (Up) If “charm” is 
a dirty word in your book, then this will sound like redd 
Foxx’ nightclub act to you' So charming J asked the CD to 
marry me. Music to make lovers out of “hatas.” 


Confederats/My Three Scum split single (Smog Veil) The 
Scum boys are pretty absurd and great but this battle of the 
bands goes to the Rats for actually singing a Rat song, but 
the Scumsters put up a good fight. actually playing a non- 
punk Rock and Roll vamp instrumental. 


The Conquerors “in the doggie style.” “Welcome To Our 
Love,” “Sing Sick Of Living” (Tela-Ad P.O. Box Albertville. 
MN 55301) Do I like these eps? | like them A LOT! The 
Conquerors simply take “sixties” music and play it not only 
well, but also, more importantly, avoid the obvious, dodge 
the cliches, shimmy around the usual and pick interesting 
covers (especially on their canine themed disc). If that isn't 
enough (and it is) any band that would actually engage in 
full-on anal intercourse with each other for the sake of an 
album cover demonsuates the dedication needed to make it in 
the music industry today. 


Countdown To Chaos “Graveyard Train” ep (7) I don't know 
if this is a boot or an orginal, but | was simply happy to even 
find this coveted slab of classic hardcore punk. CTC was one 
of the only 80s punk bands to mix Cramps style garage with 
world/scene politics punk. and the title wack here is their best 
example. | heard they were still playing in the early 90s. but | 
have no idea what happened to them. but to get a copy of 
this without usage of e-bay was a dreum come wue! 


Tina Cousins “Killing Time” (Republic) If dignified dance 
divas float your boat you'll wish you were kissin’ Cousins! 


Cracker “Garage d'Or" (Virgin) (‘ll admit 1 didn't know 
exactly why I was supposed to like Cracker back in their 
heyday. I understood the poses of punk and metal better than 
suruightforward stuff so this just didn't register. This 2 disc 
retrospective, which comes when I have ume to listen and am 
older and not as inclined to mosh makes a little more sense. 
At it’s highest points the combination of clever lyrics. wry 
perspective and Amencana straightforward music brings to 
mind Jonathan Richmond if he came from Texas or Atlanta. or 
at its worst, a Dr. Demento band failing to be funny. There's a 
lot more of the former than I expected. however. 


The Creeps “Lights Over Bagdad” b/w “Each Day's A Gift” 
(Smog Veil) Like the Mentors. if the Mentors could play a 
little better, 


Crimson Sweet “CTR” ep (POB 20506 Tompkins Sq. Station 
NYC 10009) This is so Bad it's BAD. But it’s so BAD it's 
Bad that it’s GOOD. 1! love this and I don’t know why. 


Link Cromwell and the Zoo “Crazy Like A Fox” (Norton) 
Waymon's (pardon my third person-ism) own garage band 
from 1982 played choice nuggets from REO. Chilliwack and 
38 Special - Lenny Kaye's old group from 1966 was nowhere 
near as painful! Of course he's famed as a music man and for 
our purposes as a historian, kicking off the Garage 
Canonization process with “Nuggets.” but who knew he'd get 
nuggefied himself some day? The highlight of this gem is the 
delighfuly nasal garage-folk-era single (on the Hollywood 
label for you primary source fiends) “Crazy Like A Fox” b/w 
“Shock Me.” 


Daddy’s hands “Tutankhamun” (Cargo/Headhunter) I don’t 
want to know where those hands have been. 


The Damned “Sessions Of...” (Fuel/Varese Sarabande) Simply 
awesome archival BBC sessions that seem as good or better 
than the records. which is hard to do with records you've 
heard a ziliton umes. This is just an exciting, fantastic album, 
I don't know what to say about it other than to buy it 
YESTERDAY! The 1976 stuff might be the most crucial. but 
the 79, 80 and even 84 sessions are all fun. Gem: The line 
“Are we really 65 in the charts?” before kicking into “New 
Rose.” 


Dance Hall Crashers “The Live Record” (Pink and Black 
POB 190516 SF. CA 94119) Charms abound. one of the rare 
live records that instead of making you say. “now 1 don't 
have to see them live” actually makes you posit, “Il believe I'd 
enjoy seeing them live.” 


Rick Danko Band “Live on Breeze Hill" (Breeze Hill POBox 
239 Hurley, NY 12443) Yes he died. but this is still preity 
dull. Nice grooves here und there. The mellow “Spill the 
Wine™ cover has charms, as well. 


Dead Boys “Burned Gems” (Coldfront) It seems like all the 
surviving Dead Boys have their own releases of unheard 
material out. This one is Jimmy Zero's baby. and,by God. he 
rocked it! Both sides hold up really well regardless of less 
than ideal circumstances (ume constraints, changes in 
personel, key band members refusing to even take part). “It's 
All Right.” the Adam Faith classic, gets a bare bones. 
Ramones-like workout. It ranks up there with The Sonics’ 
verston, to be sure. Zero sings lead here, and very well, | 
might add. “War Zone,” recorded in 1980. was originally 
intended for use in a proposed film of the same name (with 
Susan Sarandon...grrrrooowwl!). The Deud Boys weren't 
destined to make it into the 80's (Though they reformed 
briefly in 87), and broke up shortly after recording this, 
which is a shame, because “War Zone” shows a preut deal of 
growth, an indication that (had they been getting along, that 
is) the group could've gone on to do some VERY interesting 


stuff in the 80's) Melodic. with a vengeance. Botton line. 
this 1s something fun for the fans. Jimmy Zero also did the 
cool artwork (as he’s been doing lately for Something Weird 
Video) 


The Deadly Nightshade “Beyond The Door” ep (Zodiac 88 
Colledge Dr. Brewster NY 10509) Where are ull these actually 
YOUNG 60s style garage bunds coming from? Odd stompers 
with organ blasts that would make a hornet horny. this ts a 
fine slab of yab! 


Deep Porn (Cyberoticu/Ogiio) This compilation pairs Hip Hop 
and dance music makers with porn stars. but here's the 
rub though this has been done before. several umes. on 
ulmost every track here the porn gals don't wy to sing. rap or 
even hum: they simply moan! So 18 different guls we're 
brought into recording studios just to breath heavy’ One of 
the only tracks where a girl actually talks is Midori on Kid 
Rock's song (in which a silent Kid must just be playing 
guitar or something). Porn fuves Heather Hunter. Raylene and 
Stephanie Swift share uacks (ull about porno type sex) with 
rappers and melody makers Itke 2 Live Crew's Brother 
Marquis, DJ Muggs. George Clinton und AMG 


Dementia Thirteen “Do The Snike'” ep (Smilin’ Bob POB 
{002 Homewood. IL 60430-0002) This serpentine garbage 
cun beating garage rocker has a lotta bite and more than a little 
slither! Everyone'll be doin’ at soon enuf! 


Desecration (Copro)The cymbal playing on this ts so wrong 
that it is now my favorite Death record of the year “Aphixsate 
On Blood” indeed! 


The Dickel Brothers “The Recordings Of...Vol 2° (eMpTy 
POB 12034 Seattle. WA 98102) I hope thts label knows how 
to service college radio old time music/Americana/Bluegrass. 
because this would get serious spinnage. The closer “Dig My 
Grave was seriously digged by me 


Diffuser “Injury Loves Melody” (Hollywood) Difuseless. 


Dillinger Four “Versus God" (Hopeless POBox 7495 Van 
Nuys. CA 91409-7495) Solid brutal. ugly hardcore based 
punk. in an album that. by the way. features the best punk 
song utle in tl years or so: “Who Didn't Kill Bambi!?”. 


Dillinger Four/Pinhead Gunpowder split single (Adeline 
$337 College Ave #318 Oakland, CA 94618) I like the PG 
songs better, but D4 use u Redd Foxx snippet on their side. 
so they win this battle of the bands 


Distillers (Hellca/Epitaph) Ouch! This 1s so punk it’s 
exhausting! This shouldn't even be called punk. this needs 
it's own name. Most intense record of the year. 


Diva Machina “The Final Girl” (Radioactive Bodega 333 
Berry St. Brooklyn. NY 11211) Backwards it's Avid Ant H- 
to an Ani 


cam! Obviously this is a secret soundtrack 
DiFranco video project. Of it's Ant undercover dotng 
something that involves nuclear espionage, Or it's just 


rockin. 


dope “felons and revoluuonaries” I don't like Korn or Durst 
so us far as I'm concerned dope is the AC/DC of Ni Metal 
Solid. 


Drowningman “Rock and Roll Killing Machine” (Revelation) 
There’s a really good line on the one sheet: “If music could 
kill. there would be u five day waiting period to purchase this 
record.” That's sweet. someone deserves a bonus! Though 
the music isn’t exactly that lethal it is pretty freakin’ brutal. 
and I wouldn't want to be on an elevator with the singer. 
Good album title. by the way, 3 


dynamite hack “superfast by...“ (Universal) F.P.W.A, (Fake 
punks with attitude. } 


Eddie says...°Millennium Calendar” calendar (POB 70 
Syracuse NY 13210) I couldn't begin to describe the work of 
“Mr. Ass Captain” but if you don’t have a calendar yet. hurry 
up and write Eddie. he'll probably hook you up. 


Einstiirzende Neubauten “science is sexy” (Mute) As long as 
you don't ask me to pronounce their name (or remember where 
the umlaut goes) I'm down with these fellers. The most 
remarkable thing about this release is not the elaborate double 
CD packaging with a mmearkable 40 pqage booklet (the 
members have been known for words and concepts as well as 
music, so it's no surprise the book is compelling) but the fuct 
that as far as ft can tell this is the first ame they've had an 
album title in English that's humorous. These are dude's thut 
when they deal with the Queen's lunguage go the 50 cent 
word route, so | had hopes for an album that reflected humor 
as well as challenge (a constant EN theme). Of course, I've 
always taken many of their eccentricies and demeanors as not 
without humor. When anything is that serious | always 
figure there's a prankster element involved. So is the music 
“joyful?” Yes!!! OK, maybe I set myself up to believe it, but | 
actually am willing to call this stuff “catchy” (heresy) in a 
fucked up way. 


Electric Frankenstein “Tha Dawn Of Electnc Frankenstrin” 
(Triple X) 2 more (one on the inside, one on the outside) 
amazing EF album covers by great comux styled artists [I'd be 
more interested in a comp. of all their artwork than music at 
this point!) and some solid new trax, but the money shots are 
the old bands represented here. Crash Sweet Kids, The Thing 


and Kathedral were all pre-EF combos that led to the sloppy 
present day bund. Most interesting is the psyche power 
group The Thing. who eliminate much of the sludge the 
Stoner Rock scene exalts in and replaces 1 with Progudelic 
ludicrousness 


Eleventh Dream Day “Stalled Parade” (Thnll Jockey) This 
makes Nei! YOUNG sound like Nei! OLD! 


Hanin Elias “In Flames” (DHR ) This is the closest thing I['ve 
heard yet to the sounding like the label's promise of Digital 
hardcore. This 1s definitely some futuristic assed punk. She's 
not weanng the super hero makeup from her Atari Teenage 
Riot getup. but she’s actually more Wonder Woman/Tank Girl 
here than ever My uss is kicked. 


Elliot “false cathedrals" (Revelation) Stark. chtlling bizarre 
culs of cerebro-punk cutlets. 


[EMBODYMENT} “The Nisrow Scope Of Things” (Solid 
State) Folk music with distortion, if they do a male Lilith Tour 
call these guys 


ENON “Believo!” (See Thru Broadcasting 3470 19th St. SF. 
CA 94110) If Max Headroom was legitimately a hipster this 
would be his side project. 


Establishment zine (POB 33 Gien Elyn CQ 80532) Eurnest. 
honest, drama filled personal zine by two friends. teens | 
think, a girl and boy who lay their thoughts on death. sex. 
friendship and other smull subjects on the line. Good design 
and promising writng skills. 


Eulogy “Dawn Of Decades” (218 BUCKINGHAM PLACE. 
PHILA PA 19104) After a too tong manifesto this kicks in 
with music I'm scared to label (due to the manifesto) but that 
nonetheless is a faw expression of the Philly punk 
intelligentsia. Good design work on the package. too. 


evelotto “1776" (Sin Klub POB 2507 Toledo OH 43606) I 
played it 1.776 umes! I love it! 


Eve 6 “hororscope” (RCA) The new Duran Duran! 





while het 


Exposed III “Hot Doggin’ The Great Midwest” (Sin Klub 
POB 2507 Toledo. OH 43606) What seems like 200 bands 
appear on this triple CD. and it’s hard to note standouts. but 
Living Dead. Pop Quiz. Jank, and Evolotto all do sorta stand 
out. Ringers (as in bands {'ve seen before or heard of) include 
the always entertaining Rocket 88, Gone Daddy Finch and 
the legendary masked oddball Nash The Slash. 


Extol “undeceived™ (Solidstate) this may contain the most 
Original synthesis (and subsequent organ rejection) of brutal 
deathcore and suing heavy classical-esque stuff the Metal 
Underground often likes to use for regulity. 


FACETOFACE “Reactionary” (Lady Luck/Beyond) Good. 
but far to spare, “whooa-o0-00"s. And there's a little cowboy 
in their punk guitar sound. 


FALSE FACE SOCIETY “Game Face On" (Sin Klub) Ozzy 
enough for you? No such thing...you can never be tun Ozzy! 


Fates Warning “Disconnected” (Metal Blade) 80s Yes music 
on a lower budget. Incredibly well recorded drums, but not 
my cup of tea, coffee. anything! 


Feedlot 2000 - Somebody Left The Gate Open (610 S. 
Dubuque St.. lowa City, IA $2240) Not to be confused with 
the band on BET called “ The Gate Open” this is comp of 
actually interesting bands in an actual interesting scene. No 
one sucks on the whole comp! Good assed band names too 
(The Vida Blue. Brutus and the Magical 7. Islund Women). 
How'd lowa get so kickass? 


The Feelings (Coming In Second 1807 Division Ave, Boise. 
ID 83706) Get ready for 1 copout---but this is one of the most 
indescribable CDs you'll hear. The Feelings go through 
every low and high genre from gnt to avant garde effortlessly 
in seriously progressive manner that cun‘t really put into 
words. Fur better than ft could have hoped to expect form this 
humble locking package. 


Fifleen “Hush” ep (Sub City) Mr. Ott may not be the best 
songwriter or singer but if sincerity and dedication were 
popcorn kernels, he could string up enough to decorate every 
Christmas tree and sukkot in California. Dysfunctional family 
survivors and MRR bullshit ure the subjects on this one. 


74 


$8( Americoma/Beyond) [ Jove the new Criie album and was 
pretty ready to dismiss this Nikki Sixx side project. but on 
second listen there are some goofy churms to this thing that 
ure undentable. Clearly the tune “Piece Of Candy” about a 
girl with & internet cam in her dorm room 1s so over the top it's 
uncritiqueuble. The fusion of Hip Hoppy. Metallic. 
Alternative and whatever else isn't as full-on as Tommy's 
project, but in doing that it’s failures are smaller. The best 20 
seconds of Methods of Mayhem are better thun the best 20 
seconds of uns by far. but there’s no passage on this as 
cruppy us the worst 20 seconds of MOM [hope they didn‘t 
sample anything on their “Alone Again(Naturally)” cover 


Five Fingers Of Dr X (Triple X) Five usskicker bands 
showcased and introduced to the world as Tnple X‘s new 
“Wiutiors” type gang alliunce Streetwalkin’ Cheetahs. ADZ. 
Tncky Woo. Gaza Suippers and Black Halosh definitely 
would “come out and play”... and win the rumble! 


Flashpoint zine (#3. POB 5591 Portlund OR 97228) 
“Desperate Times Calls For Desperate Zines” this declares. as it 
raises Numerous questions about health care and health crises 
[ couldn't always decipher the tone..was it being tronic ut 
times?...did it believe every statement?.. but I guess that's 
what rising questions ts about 


flotation device zine ($2. 311 W. Judd St. Woodstock. IL 
60098) Handwritten personal zine that tells tales with some 
nice xeroxed fotos thrown in. For all you other-people’s- 
journal collectors out there. don’t pass this one by 


The Flys “Outta My Way” (Traum: 15165 Ventura Blvd 
suite 320 Sherman Oaks. CA 91403) Very athletic but with a 
non-violent seml-uggression...sorta Ikke surfers are. But this 
doesn't sound like surfing. 


Forbidden Dimension “A Coffinful Of Crows” (Reanimator 
POBox 1582 Ann Arbor. MI 48106) Though some may say 
that Forbidden Dimension’s music is the scrapings from the 
botiom of the horror rock coffin. | always appreciated the 
bizarre spureness of their lo fi creep fests. More creep cuts 
here, 


The Forty Fives “Get It Together’ (NG 130 Sth Ave. NYC 
10011) Garage Soul grooves with some serious junk in the 
trunk und a very legit 60s groove 


40 Grit “Heads” (Metal Blade) Bore-me Shit. | realize that's 
not even a clever rhyme. but it’s really descriptive. 


The Frustrators “Bored In The USA” (Adeline) Bur rock 
punk songs about midget tossing und shitty cars..in other 
words. this is what the Grammys® would be all about if there 
was any justice in this world. : 


The Gants “1 Wonder” (RPM) Famous for their version of Bo 
Diddley’s “Roadrunner” that tmily invoked the Coyote 
pursued cartoon character, the Gants were a southern garage 
band with a Beatles bent but some good old American badass 
in them as well. However their recorded story has them 
snatched into the Liberty studios and pretty soon they're 
recording slick weird stuff that in some ways fits ike a 5 
dollar suit, but in other ways in sublime They still eked out 
a few killers. including the amazing “(You Can't Blow) Smoke 
Rings.” and certainly “Greener Days” used a string section 
effectively. But a garage band with a string section? If the 
band had just recorded all the obvious covers (us seems to be 
natural for them...and they smoke) this would be far less 
interesting. but they were giving the producers and 
opportunities to try to make some pretty extravagant sides. 
und it all jibed. 


Garden Bower “You Wanna Know™ b/w “Bad Man" (SEN 
Records 8305 W. Berwyn Chicago, IL 69656) ff 
Kassenetz/Katz or Don Kircshner got as hold of these guys 
they could polish one of these tracks into bubblegum GOLD. 
Sure this sounds like pure American bar rock with a twist, but 
there's germs of million seller-itts in there 


Garrison “A Mile In Cold Water” (Revelation) Pretty straight 
Rock and Roll for a Revelation band. anchored by hard 
hitting. spare rock drumming without extraneous fills (more 
Peter Criss than Tommy Lee) and a real bounce to the guitar 
lines. I'm pretty sure I heard the words “ornamental” and 
“harlequin.” so their vocab is collegiate. but when they get 
uptempo. they rock sophomoric! 


The Gazillions “Have Landed" (Round POB 29936 Oakland. 
CA 94604) “Sending rock stars to Mars/In rockets shaped like 
guitars.” With those ten words this band mude themselves 
immune to criuictsm...1 simply refuse to say anything bad 
about anyone with lyrics that dumb 


Gidget Gein “Confessions of a Spooky Kid” (POB 323 
Dobbs Ferry. NY 10522) If you didn't figure it out from the 
name this ts a former Marlyn Manson bund member exploring 
the New York glam/horror rock alleys in far more 
stuigtforward directions than his former Manson Cult has 
explored. Raw recordings and gloriously dumb spookiness 
und mystery make for a pretly good nightmare 


Gene Defcon “liz” ep (Lookout) More “def than “con!” 


Get Hustle “earth odyssey” (SRC POBox 1190 Olympia, WA 
98507) Don’t expect any Van McCoy music...though now 
that he’s dead he may have to listen to spooky. eerie stuff like 
this all the time if he’s a ghost or something. Real chain 
rattling, moody Haint Opera stuff here. 


gf93 “G.Oetia F.Etish 19.93" (Copro POB 4429 Henley On 
Thames Oxon RG9 IGH UK) Sounds like a jalepefio sloppy 
joe tastes. 


Ghoti Hook “Lullaby” b/w “All That | Am" (Tooth and Nail) 
The Hook's hooky hooks will hook you like a hooker. 


Gleet zine (9/125 Anderson Road Sunshine Victoria 3020 
Australia) Flavorful trash garage culture zine with lots of xerox 
swipes and punk archeology featuring articles on Love. the 
Monks, Dead Moon and more. Good taste abounds. 


Gluecifer “Tender Is The savage “ (Sub Pop) Tender is the 
savage, indeed. This record is so good I glued myself, if you 
know what I mean! 


Golden Summer (Slowdime) This is a gigantic, mindblowing 
happening of a rock record. It’s amazing that these guys 
don’t have robes and belly length beards. because they are 
rock clerics, druids of the modem age. This is the music that 
Jake Chick warned you that witches make in caves! 


The Go Nuts “dunk and cover" (Lookout) If this was simply 
superhero junk food bubblegum garage rock maybe I 
wouldn't be swooning over my turntable...but they have 
gonllas...and a gorilla butler...and a Van Halen song about 
twinkies...and a villian...and a Dickies cover...and a rap 
(comparable to the one Barney used to get Fred's Cocoa 
Fruity Pebbles) and. most of all. they have a lyric that ends, 
*...1n the whole human race!" Good enough to eut! 


the good jacket presents...Vancouver Special compilation 
(Mint POB 3613 Vancouver. BC V6B 3Y6) The first comp 
based around a clothing store } can think of, this platter is a 
wake up call for those of you who thought the only good 
acts to come out of Vancouver, BC were the Smugglers and 
Jason Priestly! In addition to thee Mighty Canadian Goblins 
you also get the Secret Three's magic accordion. the Battles’ 
werewolf ode, July 4th Toilet's prime rock n rollin’ and 
scariness from Demon Skull! 1 don’t know these bends either, 
but good band names plus good tunes make me feel far more 
neighbourly to these Northerners' 


Good riddance “The Phenomenon Of Craving (Fat) Not 
good. Be riddanced! 


Groovie Ghoulies “Travels With My Amp” (Lookout) Once 
again this band confuses me by using the trappings of horror 
rock but sounding so Bay Poppunk that nothing 1s 
scary...but any band that gives a Leprechaun (an 
underuppreciated monster) song the same monster weight as a 
Frankenstein or Plan 9 From Outer Space song 1S aces in my 
book! Great packaging 


Tommy Guerrero “A Little Bit Of Somethin’’ (Mo Wax) A 
little bit of SOMETHIN” ELSE! Groovin’ Flememco guitar 
flicked, Soul jam chill out wax packaged with some of the best 
cover art of the 21st century. 


Har Mar Superstar (KRS) This foray into sexy contemporary 
R&B is funny and functional in some ways, but as a man from 
the same neighborhood as the father of modern day “Sex me” 
music. R. Kelly. something about this indie hipster 
appropriation struck me as kinda Minstrel Show-y. 


Grant Hart “Good News For The Modern Man” (Pachyderm) 
An air of familianty here, “Think It Over Now” sounding like 
an update of White Plains’ “My Baby Loves Lovin” (and 
almost as good), while “Nobody Rides For Free” being similar 
to Hart's own “Come, Come.” Still, Grant has always made 
good records and this is no exception. Instant hooks and the 
man still possesses one of the finest set of pipes in rock. He’s 
been a virtual blip on the radar lately, and unfortunately this 
much-delayed new album, released with no fanfare on an 
obscure label (no contact info at all), won't help matters much. 
Seek and find 


: Musi by Deena 
Weinstein (Da Capo) When this book Originally came out in 
1991 I’m pretty sure I remember going to a Métérhead show 
and figuring out who Ms. Weinstein was, and looking upon 
her with admiration. not so much out of love for the book. 
but more for getting away with writing about a tome that 
mentions Helloween while in the “Academy.” As it was, 1991 
was an odd year to write the, book for as the index makes 
Clear, it was the second best selling Metal year ever (percentage 
wise in Billboard’s upper echelons) but the next few years 
would each lop that off by 50%. Thus this update was 
inevitable. The original book was set up as a sociological, 
but not dry. breakdown of the genre into its codes/markers. 
performers, audience, media. concert and enemies (Gore makes 
it im quotewise here and there). The new version adds an 
update chapter. The best part is likely the breakdown of band 
names, logos and themes, with my fave part is the note that 
Motley uses the word “night” in 8 of the 9 songs on “2 Fast 
4 Love.” The updated chapter on the 90s is interesting, but I 
wish she'd incorporated this stuff into the body of the work 
as well, especially the development of Black Metal, which [ 
think is pretty significant. Also, 1 woulda capitalized Heavy 
Metal and all the sub-genres. Overall, though, this book. 
while not essential, should still be owned by any thinking or 
semi-thinking music fan, as it certainly clanfies concepts that 
may have gotten hazy from too much brain/skull contact 
during headbanging. Also, for a semi-academic book it's a 
Surprisingly quick and easy read. 
75 


HENRY “Sounds Like” (Reticulated Records) These are the 
kid brothers of Alternative Rock radio and Hootie era college 
rock. 


Hers Never Existed “A Static State Of Developmental 
Disability” (El Sdbado 1442 A Walnut PMB 407 Berkeley. 
CA 94709) As you can guess by the title, this ain't a pop 
punk love song album. Empowerment/Futility-core with a 
disconcerting, jarring quality that gets you off balance, and 
then suckerpunches you. 


HiM “Our Point Of Departure” (Perishable POB 57-8804 Chi 
IL 60657) Perhups this is not an appropriate statement in the 
Jazz context, but FUCKIN’ A’ This RULES! Absolutely 
engaging improv percussion driven dub Jazz that goes from 
swinging to grooving to exploring to excavating with some 
serious magic. FUCKIN’ A! 


The Horrors (In The Red) Swamped out horror trash goo goo 
muck music with explosive diarrhea power! 


HOT PINBALL ROCK VOL. 1 (Extra Ball records POB 
40005 Portland, OR 97240) To simply say “Better than 
‘Tommy"” would be undervaluing this fine compilation. <A 
collection of eclectic pinball songs originally presented a 
singles in Multiball magazine, this swetches the definition of 
both rock and roll with none of the occasional futility one 
experiences when the ball floats, untouchable. through the 
flippers. Bellrays. Bobby Conn. Firebalt of Freedom. Dickel 
Brothers and the Pills share “hi-score” here. but everyone 
“gets to leave their name.” 


Hot Snakes “Automatic Midnight” (Sympathy/Swami POB 
620428 SD, CA 92162) If you heard that warm venom had a 
similar effect to heated milk, think again! These piping-hot 
pythons will bite you to Rock & Roll attention and you'll 
wish someone would suck out the poison! 


Huevos Rancheros “Muerte del Toro” (Mint POB 3613 
Vancouver BC Canada V6B 3YS) I finally feel sorry for the 
bulls in the bullfights, because if they get their ears cut off 
they can't listen to best record of the year! If you love the 
guitar-ary of Biker movies, surf and drag records and Italian 
cowboys then, NO BULL, this is for you, hombre! 


Glenn Hughes “Return of Crystal Karma” (SPV) I have to 
admut [ always had hoped Glenn Hughes of Deep Purple and 
Sabbath was the same Glenn Hughes who was the 
leatherman/biker in Village People. Well though I've known 
for years it sadly wasn't, it’s good to finally hear that the non- 
leather Glenn can get just as outrageous as Macho Glenn. 
This is ROCK: beer commercial rock, stadium rock. oft 
unheard these days rock. It's ROCK! 


Hypnomen “Trip With Satan" (Gearhead POB 421219 SF. 
CA 94142-1219) The Gearhead gang has foregone the singles 
in the magazine route and now is doing full on periodicals 
and full on full length releases independent of each other. I 
this is an example of the focus and power of their full lengths, 
then it's a good move. Many Garage fans who were excited 
by the 90s revival had their enthusiasm wane when the 60s 
Garage sound began to get buried under hardcore, Metal and 
RAWK_ The problem, this genius album reveals, was that 
most of these Garage bands did not understand the RAWK. 
and that ts truly not the case here. Raw majesty abounds. 


The Incredible Moses Leroy “growing up clean in america” 
(ultumatum music 8723 W. Washington Blvd. Culver City, 
CA 55428) Quirky 4-Track Electro-Folk-Hop with as much 
Sweetness us Oddness. Clean indeed! 


The (International) Noise Conspiracy “Survival Sickness” 
(Burning HearVEpitaph) Urgency core in the Nation of 
Lilysses/Jon Spencer vein, but with it’s own CLA-sent-to-the- 
ghetto juice running through it's veins. Some old timey 
Clash punk and roll Pop grooves here and there make this a 
real pick to click record. 


intox zine (pob 4173 Estes Park, CO 80517) Columns, 
reviews, interviews and ficuon all done with a very pro 
interpretation of d.i-y. aesthetic (the computer age has changed 
the meaning of ‘cut and paste’). 


1QU and friends “Teenage Dream” (K) Calvin at K has always 
been a man who loved dancing (that’s what made his live 
shows so compelling) and the label has made numerous 
attempts at dance, dub and even straight rap releases over the 
years, trying to jibe the fella’s love for releasing indie records 
with his groove thing. Well, he's finally done it, here is the 
first fully realized, perfect K dance release, something that 
would fully function in any number of dance floor situations. 
A hybrid dub. electronica, punk-disco, world music, groove- 
a-thon, it would be a disservice to the overall quality of this 
to name the semi fmaous Friends on this. If you wanna move. 
this is your groove. 


Isle of Q (Universal) Oh-My-God. This is nor good. No. 


Isotope 217 “Who Stole the Walk Man” (Thrill Jockey) It's 
like music is trapped inside soap bubbles and us they pop the 
notes escupe. 


Ivory Tower “Beyond The Stars” (LMP) The artwork 
(monolithic chess pieces with blindfolded women's heads 
floating high over an earth-esque planet whose mujestic 
Clouds part to reveal a terrigenious chessboard as a bad moon 
rises in the background and comets/missles from space rain on 
the planet, while a phallic futuristic ivory tower juts through 


he cloud cover taking in the drama) completely describes the 
music on this. Prog-gress! 


Jai Agnish “automata” (Blue Bunny Records 43 Morris Ave. 
West Milford. NJ 07480) I'm tying to place the style of the 
vocals on this thing when it hits me. If young Jerry Lewis 
starting making indie rock in the early 90s this is how he 
would have sung! 


Jamie James “Crossroads” (Oglio POB 404-JJ Redando 
Beach, CA 90277) Unironic, new Country that invokes the 
coolest guy in the Karaoke bar running through every Dwight 
Yoakum track you never heard before. 


Tommy James and The Shondells, live.State Street Chicago. 
6.17.00. For al! Chicago's macho pretentions. it's been “Pop 
Uber Alles” since Garfield Goose was King. I really didn't 
expect to see any jaded scenesters at this free outdoor show. 
but it rocked as hard (if not as FAST. well.duh.) as the last 
two Empty Bottle gigs I'd seen (Woggles. Swingin’ 
Neckbreakers). Tommy hit the stage and commenced with 
“Draggin’ The Line.” his superb Psychedelic/Pop hit from 
1972('). It started to rain a bit. but it was over by the last 
“Diggin’ snow'n'rain'n'the bright sunshine.” He soon tore into 
the super killer Frat-Punk stomp of “Say [| Am (All That | 
Am).” playing some choppy. but tasteful lines on a battered 
Fender. Tommy's voice is as good. or better than in the day. 
especially on songs like “Sweet Cherry Wine" (The 
Conscientious Objectors’ hymn) and of course. “Crimson and 
Clover.” On the more rockin’ stuff (“Hanky Panky.” “Mony 
Mony.” a surpisingly Rocked-up “I Think We're Alone 
Now") the band favored The Troggs (especially the drummer. 
with his drums tuned impossibly low), matching the 
professionality a boss like theirs expects with the sense of fun 
he exudes. There aren't many artists that can play all hits for 
over an hour (and make'em all sound great), and still have 
some to spare. Best of all. James seems like a real decent cat. 
after talking to a family that had befriended him years earlter 
(and showing me their photo album for proof). and witnessing 
one on the cleverest (and most generous) stage plovs I'd ever 
seen. Tommy put his guitar down. mud-song. during “Mony. 
Mony.” apparently frustrated that it was cutting out, and let 
the band take a long instrumental break, while he walked 
offstage, not looking very happy. Next tung I knew, he was 
walking through the crowd, signing autographs, kissing 
babies (but not eating flowers, his dog .Sam. takes cure of 
that), shaking hands, and actually TALKING to people. and 
making it back on stage in time to sing the last verse. 
Thousands of balloons were set loose over the city (pretty 
impressive) and a large.phallic-looking pink one made it's way 
to the stage. suspending itself as though by magic. right 
above Tommy's shoulder! If that isn't funny enough. dig this 
- while walking down the subway steps, [ heard a guy yelling 
at his old lady, “Tommy James ain't so great. he barely did 
any of his hits!"to which she replied that he had only caught 
the last few songs, so he had no way of knowing what songs 
he didn't do. "Yeah," he said, "But he didn't do that one big 
hit of his, y'know, the one that goes "I love Boston, Boston 
you're my home!” 


J Church “One Mississippi” (Honest Don's) Here we have a 
Slice of Pop Punk that’s more REM than MXPX and that 
instead of addressing high school issues takes the step of 
addressing college age issues. Add in some college 
vocabulary and subject matter, (The song about Leni 
Reifenstahl seems inspired by a film studies course) and 
you've got music for a maturing audience that hopefully 
hasn't completely gone Slipknot. 


Johnny Socko “Quatro” (Rock N Roll Rampage) One of my 
fave bowling alley bands is still shamelessly blast ska-esque 
horns and you can definitely tell they're a fun live band from 
this...but J think it'd be hard for someone older than 16 to 
really dig this album. 


Mark Johnson “last night on the roller coaster” Blade/Radio 
Ghost) Songs as catchy as the flu 


The Juliana Theory “emotion is dead” (Tooth and Nail) This 
reminds me of talking on the phone with someone I'm not 
paying attention to. 


Jupiter Affect -“Instructions for the Two Ways of Becoming 
Alice” (Eggbert PO Box 10022, Fullerton, CA 92835) Here's 
Michael Quercio and his band of LA pop junkies, and the 
pedigree tells the story here; ex-members of Slavation Army / 
Three O'Clock. Celebrity Skin and Lava Sutra in a fey nod 
towards late 60's Brit pop-cike ala the Rubble or Cirkus Days 
comps. Horns and flutes are the icing on the treacle, with the 
sweetest vocals this side of the Left Banke and Emmit 
Rhodes. Lovely! 


Khaled “Kenza” (Ark 21 14724 Ventura Blvd penthouse 
suite Sherman Oaks, CA 91403) Khaled is the James 
Brown/Fela/Elvis of rai, and if you're not sure exactly what 
that genre sounds like, this stellar album asks more than it 
answers. An amazingly eclectic musical stew. North 
African/Arabic themes are mixed with Cuban, Indian and 
American funk/turntablist elements in ways that never seem 
untraditional or contrived. At it's best the listener is 2 
protaganist in a Bollywood Noir spy movie who has to duck 
into the back rom of a smoky disco to escape pursuers. 


King Diamond “House Of God” (Metal Blade) If | was willing 
to say I didn't like 2 King Diamond record I might say that 
about this. Not that there’s anything bad inherently, but it 
just doesn't have the power or presence or evil or majesty to 


match the Diamond voice. But ] uin‘t willing to even say that. 
so Jet's just say HAIL KING DIAMOND! 


King’s X “Please Come Home...Mr. Bulbous” (metal Blade) X- 
emplary! Their best record since ever! 


Kitchen Knife Conspiracy “Sin-Pathetic’ (Sin Klub) Un- 
good. 


Krispy Kritter Komix! (NJHarris78@hotmail.com) I was 
amazed to find myself laugh at these evil venereal disease, 
incest, homicide comix, but I did a few umes. E-mail him and 
maybe he'll send you a copy. 


The Kwyet Kings “The Singles ‘n’ Shit!” (Dionysus) I have 
some of these singles, and they've had to wavel from many 
counuies and several continents to get to me. so fans of 60s 
style classy Kinks inspired Garage will be saving lotsa 
postage getting this fine rarities CD. This is a classy combo 
featunng first names like Otto, Knut and Pal. and any pil of 
Rock and Roll ts a Pal of mine! 


Lagwagon “Let's Talk About Leftovers” (My POB 41730 
Santa Barbara, CA 93140) Not exactly a band I'm dying to 
hear their outtakes, nonetheless, I'm of the belief that many a 
baby goes out with the bathwater, and some of these rarities. 
including goofy covers and metallic demos. are just such 
babies. 


Laika “Good Looking Blues“ (Too Pure) The easy. sultry 
grooves of this thing. especially the killer “Uneasy” would 
osmosis themselves into the collective consciousness piven 
mainstream airplay and would be guilty pleasures to even the 
most cynical punk rocker and would instantly mature the most 
lip gloss drenched Britney fan. 


Lana Lane “Secrets of Astrology" (LMP) I can't say | 
understand the where and who and why of the existence of 
2hst Century symphonic metal, but Lana Lane is the queen of 
it and I'm glad she is. This is a glorious playground for Prog 
musicians to demonstrate Prog-manship beyond belief and 
Lana can sing about the mystical realms of astrology. tarot and 
angels with the glory they deserve. Epic! 


Last Train Home “True North” (Adult Swim POB 1535 
Arlington, VA 22210-0835) Non-insurgent Country. Oh, it 
wouldn't be bought by a Nashville label. but it favors early 
Lyle Lovett, though it’s more straigthfroward. Includes a great 
love song about Krispy Kremes. 


Las Vegas Grind Vol. 6 (Stip/Crypt) We are graciously 
served up another platter of obscure 50s/60s grinders that 
today’s athletic, pole straddling exotic dancers wouldn't 
know what to do with, but the tired, chain smoking 
“glamour” girls of yore would take to like a mother’s teat. 
Most notable here are some of the pseudo-“exotic” grooves 
like the El-Capris’ “Safari* and Omar Kay's “Turkish Coffee.” 
furthur concreting the escapist concept of the table dance 
world. A very strange Kingfish impersonation on Bowlegs’ 
“One More Time, part 2" and a killer Lonnie brooks bloozer 
put this one over the top. 


Leatherface “Horsebox” (BYO) Leather throat, but velvet 
souls. 


Shawn Lee “Monkey Boy” (Amour) [ got in trouble several 
years ago for reviewing (1 contend. accurately) an early 
Bellrays release by comparing the vocalist to 80s era Aretha. 
She wrote me a nasty letter, unhappy to be compared to what 
is considered a low Soul-point in music. Well. here we go 
again. When I saw the indie packaging on this | was 
seriously surprised to hear the authentic Urban Contemporary 
grooves within, but | really can't compare this to any classic 
or deep Soul cuts, rather to solid commercial radio crossover 
adult Urban music, the kind that gets more play on VHI than 
BET. 


Lengsel “Solace” (Solidstate) Thi CD represents the parts of 
the high class horror movies where there's anticipation tinged 
with terror and the knowledge that doom is around the corner 
and it builds in a cunning, subtle almost tortuous pace as you 
stumble through the fog, or the woods or the darkness. Or 
you could be stumbling through these guys’ hair. 


Little Monkey comics #3 (FREE! c/o Richard Visick POB 
521388 SLC. UT 84152) SEND FOR THIS ZINE BECAUSE 
IT’S FREE AND THEY'LL SEND YOU A FREE T-SHIRT TOO 
IF THEY HAVE ANY LEFT! That said. this is a fine player in 
the game set up by Adrian Tomine. Back in the 80s. post- 
Pekar, and that guy who drew small in Drawn & Quarterly, 
every indie comics guy was doing talking head 
autobiography stuff...often involving masturbation 
confessions. Now the move is towards telling little stories, 
vignettes sometimes self-contained and sometimes 
interlocking. This is a far more ambitious and interesting 
endeavor and books like Litthe Monkey demonstrate why. 
The added interesting perspective of having “alternative™ 
viewpoints in a Mormon town just spices up the chili here. 


LIVE AT THE..HOOTENANY VOLUME ONE (Time 
Bomb) This album of live tracks from the famed American Big 
Beat Rock and Roll Fest is legitimately interesting because 
these bands (Paladins, Dave Alvin, Deke Dickerson) are 
legitimately interested in the live audience and seriously 
deliver goods like truckers. Worthwhile note: Second comp | 
got this week with both the Amazing Crowns and the band 
that sued them from being called the Royal Crowns. the Royal 
Crown Revue. The Amazings win this battle of the bands. 


Logacy Of Excellence: The Springsteen Lumber Story 
video by Richard M. Kapenas (Encore Video 6344 Fountain 
Ave, Hollywood CA 90028) Bizarre script driven narratives 
ubout marginalized characters at odd crossroads. No lumber 
involved. True story: | was watching this around 3 in the 
morning on Saturday night and fell asleep. t woke up and 
didn’t know the video ended and regular TV had came on. 
and some show ubout a woman having dreams about being 
adopted by a vampire family was on. At first | thought how 
great Kapenas* production values had gotten, but 1 actually 
thought the acting and writing had gone down. This 
happened once when I was a little kid. 1 fell asleep during 
Dukes of Hazzard, woke up and Phantasm was on and 1 
remember thinking “] know Boss Hogg hates the Dukes. but | 
didn't think he'd wy to kill them!" Scared the shit out of me. 


Lolita Storm “G-F-S-U" DHR) Of all the digi-punk out there 
this is the most gloriously inorganic I've heard yet. even with 
the blurred seventh generation xerox Bow Wow Wow flavors. 
This could destroy us all! 


Los Straitjackets “the velvet touch of...” (Yep Roc) An 
international wip around the inter-nations of the world with 
the greatest mexi-masked band to ever cover a Celine Dion 
song as an instrumental. If the Louis Prima number doesn't 
get you jumping, the “Rockula” song doesn't scare you silly 
and “Tijuana Boots” doesn’t give you a touch of exotica! 
stomach flu. than you need an adjustment. These fellows are 
PROFESSIONAL MUSIC MAKERS! 


The Lothars “OSCILATE my metallic SONATAS (Wobly 9 
Charnwood Rd. Somerville. MA 02144) First things first: An 
instant reaction upon hearing this theremin quartet album in 
dynamic comical packaging is one of disappointment. | 
certainly expected something outrageous, out there, outasite 
or out of it’s mind, and this isn't it. Once 1 came to accept 
what wasn't on this. however, | was pretty well satisfied with 
what was. These ambient, sober vibes may seem “normal” but 
reveal themselves to be sonically unusual on numerous fronts. 
and this record can be seriously functional, acting as mood 
music for when you aren't sure what mood you want to be in. 


LTJ Buckem “Journey Inwards” (Kinetic) Pixie dust drum n 
bass, light on the cloves, heavy on the cinnamon. 


Mad Caddies “The Holiday has Been Cancelled” (Fat) Not 
exactly enjoyable, but it sounds like it was fun to record. 


Lois Maffeo and Brendan Canty “The Union Themes” (Kill 
Rock Stars) Groovy acoustic guitar coolness that differs from 
Lois’ more coffeeshopish stuff by some odd marriage of tight 
production and spare, compact arrangements. And meliotron! 


Magic Slim “Grand Slam" (Rooster Blues) Fantastic new 
artwork and the inclusion of killer ep tracks make this reissue 
a must have Blues release. Slim is one of the best examples of 
the working Chicago Bluesman, grinding out night after 
night at both decent paying North side white audience clubs 
and sparsely filled South side Black audience clubs as many 
nights a week as possible, and he did this for ever! Some of 
the best blues experiences I've had have been watching Magic 
and John Primer play together, and this CD really brings 
those memories to life. 


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Carolyn Mark “Pany Girl” (Mint) DFrom teh Country that 
first brought us “Absolute Torch & Twang” comes another 
does, this ume on a more preroskd. kXXXX 


The Mandate Of Heaven “Oh no Evil Star" (POB 7204 
Syracuse, NY 13210) Masterfully exploratory strangeness 
grounded in fortitude. 


Manganzoides/Sir Dance-A-Lot and his Dancing, 
Romancing Prancesters split LP (Repent 535 Stenvenson St. 
SF, CA 94103) The Manganzoides deliver the Peruvian 
Budget Rock with both the questionable tenacity and the 
brutal damage one would expect the Peruvian post office to 
deliver a non-contraband containing package. Sir Dance-A- 
Lot proves once again why Michael Lucas has earned the title 
“The Kip Adotta of Rock!” Howl-arious party stompers 
appropriate for all ages from the crack-addled babies to the 
enfeebled elderly. If you can't dance to this. as Alan Freed 
said in the classic movie “Rock! Rock! Rock!"..."You're 
fucked!" 


Marvin Tate's D-Settlement “The Minstrel Show” (Urban 
Collision) D-Settkement is 2 massive powerhouse of 
progressive funk that has been igniting the Chicago 
underground for a while now. and they are simply too 
frightening and threatening to the standard R&B outlets to 
ever make a huge commercial breakthrough. Their songs 
challenge every notion of cultural harmony while creating 


fantasuc harmonies. Race. Class and Hate replace the standard 
themes of Love, Love and Love one hears on the radio, and it 
IS scary. The word “deep” (as in deep funk, deep ideas, and 
deep shit) comes to mind over and over when you hear. see or 
even just think about this band 


Mathlete “telstar parthenon (plastique POB 223 Chapel Hill. 
NC 27514) kicked my math! Pocket protector love core. 


M.C. Trachiotomy “Robot Ghost or Alien” (Anal 
Log/Rhinestone POB 3915 Terre Haute, IN 47803) This is the 
most progressive hip hop album of the 21" century, a rapper 
whose delivery draws on Tazmanian Devil, Ella Fitzgerald 
(when  scatting), Cookie Monster, Ol Dirty Bastard. 
Chewbacca and a garbage disposal with beats and tracks so 
post modem they seem to be inside out. Pump this from your 
car Alpines and the BLOCK is HOT! And get ready for some 
road rage. 


mdfmk (Republic/Universal) Despite being cookie cutter 90s 
indusuial, | really like this band becuse they have nothing to 
do with enibmuloC or the aifaM taoC henerT. 


Medulla Nocte “Dying from the inside” (Copro) Forgot 
whatchu know about death. grind. blackmetal. etc...this band 
just goes all out apeshit! Whatever the fuck this is | love 
it...yet I fear it! 


The Metros “] Gotta Go” b/w “Lookin’ For Danger” (Dirtnap 
POB 21249 Seattle, WA 98111) This is The Modern Lovers, 
The Sonics. Big Star and Johnny Thunders playing bridge. 


mg! the visionary “tansperemcee” (BEC/uprok) He's 
simultaneously funky phrasin', groove phazin’ and God 
praisin’ with hip-hopulence that will move both the backpack 
and locks set and open minded bling blingers. 


Midget Breakdancing Digest zine (POB 2337 Boulder. CO 
80306) The last issue of a very solid (good writing, good 
interviews, interesting layout) punk zine is particularly 
compelling because of the melancholy and excitement that the 
editor has over the ending of this project and the opportunity 
to start new ones. Also a great summary of all the past issues 


Might As Well...Can’t Dance compilation (Adeline 5337 
College Ave #318 Oakland, CA 94618) Best bands: 
Criminals, Lifter Puller, God Hates Computers, Samaiam. the 
Thumbs. Worst bands: None 


Mike G “Sugar Daddy” (See Thru Broadcasting) A Bobby 
Conn-esque exploration into The Grooves but with Jess 
bombast than Bobby, and toes in more genres than “normal” 
people have toes. Some tunes are disarmingly short. a rarity 
in danceable music. 


Chris Mills “Kiss It Goodbye” (sugar free pob 14166 
Chicago, IL 60614) Normally albums where someone sings 
songs with lyrics that are about stuff and plays enchanting, 
subtle pop music isn't exactly my flagon of mead, especially 
in a Y/A period (a Year an AC/DC album comes out), but I 
guess I have to admit this kinda got to me. No, it didn't make 
me rock...but it made me think! 


Minmae “|Vonsachiang]" (Airborne Virus POB 16207 SD, 
CA 92176) I was expecting this to be much more fucked up, 
being that it’s packaged in a jewel box with red inserts, totally 
blank and textless and the CD is just blank red as well. A 
ny xerox insert a picture of a depressed looking burnout and 
some handwritten song titles and contact info is the only clue 
to the identity, so I'm thinking, “freakshow!” Though this 
stuff does get pretty hypnotically droney at times, it 
disappointingly never sounds like the work of a madman, and 
is always “musical.” The best moments here invoke a scary 
witches coven, the worst are a few articulate lyrics away from 
being filler on an emo album. 


Mirah “you think it’s like this but really it’s like this” (K) K 
is really letting themselves be K here and I'm glad. If I bought 
this from their big foldout newsprint broadsheet colored ink 
catalogue I’d be happy as fuck when I recieved it in the mail. 
You'll fall in love with her and yourself. Undeniably good. 
that's the magic of the minimal. 


Monkey Vs. Robot by James Kochalka (Top Shelf) This for 
the most part wordless comic novel about a war between 
monkeys and robots first of all..is about a war between 
monkeys and robots. thus 1 (of course) am incredibly 
interested and excited by it. That said, Kochalka’s work, 
while his storytelling here is some of his best, almost always 
has aspects you wish were better. For example, when the 
robots start using speech balloons to explain things, that 
breaks a lot of rhythm and demonswates lack of confidence in 
his visual storytelling. That is balanced by some of his best 
drawings ever, especially his lighting (dramatic with lots of 
fire involved) and composition. 


Rudy Ray Moore “Hully Gully Fever,” “Rally In The Valley” 
b/w “Whatcha Gonna Do” (Norton) See the fab feature 
elsewhere in this issue to understand the majesty of Rudy 
Ray, but pre-Dolemite he was already Calan special, 
compensating for an average voice with the kind of Soul. grit, 
goofiness and determination that put the Rhythm, the Blues 
and the “&" in the Rhythm & Blues! If this cost $15 just for 
the book with its pictures of Rudy as an exotic teenage dancer 
in the 40s, in the service and in many a turban, it would be a 
bargain. The LP is a gatefold masterpiece with extra tracks and 
the 45 is a delicacy unto itself. Solid! The album ends. by 


the way. with a jaw dropping live performance combining 
R&B and comedy as organically as possible to a very 
appreciative audience 


Moral Crux “the Side Effects Of Thinking” (Lookoul/Panic 
Button) When they sound ike the Misfits they sound a Jot 
more like the Misfits then that new band catled the Misfits 


The Motion demo Nice jungle bells' A sholgun wedding of 
dumb-rock and bizarre cerebral Iyrics crested with moments of 
classic rock exce(sshience 


Motley Criie “New Tattoo” (Motley/Beyond) I've really liked 
every real Criie album ever (not counting the just OK live one 
and best ofs) so } shoulda been super excited over this. but 1] 
gotta admut. 1 was feeling a little weird after reading Tommy's 
interview in Mojo's sublime Jast page where rockers tel] how 
the joined and left bunds Vince came off looking pretty evil 
and it made me really rethink my loyalty to one of my all ume 
faves Granted, ] always figured the members to be assholes. 
and to be basically morally repugnant people, but | always 
figured as evil as they might be they were like a gang and 
wouldn't turn on each other. Needless to say. Vince turning 
on Tommy threw me. Of course, the argument that it’s not 
Motley without the ongina) four got kindu moot when they 
released a Vinceless LP years ugo. Which brings me to this 
album. One thing not everyone Knows, and few people 
uppreciate about the band 1s thei progressive nature. not 
meaning they muke progressive music. but meaning they 
actually have moved forward with every studio record. Of 
course their brilhant debut. “2 Fast 4 Love” Jeft a lot of room 
to move forward. Now as far as my “original four” comment. 
one of the interesting things about Motley is that when they 
replaced Vince (und lost a huge portion of their audience that 
they've never gotten back) the remaining band members were 
actually VERY happy with the record. felt it was a progression 
and sul) stand by it. “Generation Swine.” with Vince back, 
was the biggest step between albums. with = guitar 
manipulations that sounded like electronica and some 
Variations on The Rock. No dice on getting the audience 1 
deserved, despite « mighty Tommy ballad about his son 
Thus we get to the new album. which 1s their first ever 
REGHRESSION! Not a desperauon move as much as a 
reassessment. this album jumps back to the sprint und style of 
“2 Fast” with straightforward, nasty slices of Sunset Strip 
Modern Giam und super catchy hooks. It even has an absurd 
ballad just like their debut does.. and then it has another one! 
Do they cupture the groove of “2 Fat 4 Love.” their Rock and 
Roll deflowering? Of course not. that’s a classic of Biblical 
magnitude and Divine Power. but this has juice. |] was a little 
cool to it at first. but felt compelled to play it 10 or 12 umes. 
after which 1 was hooked 


Mr. Methane “Mr Methane.com” (Oglio) Who ever dreamed 3 
mammiage between fart jokes and British humour would be so, 
erm..oerganic. Mr Mis a masked superhero rocker who can 
fart on cue and this LP has dance. rock. pop. classical and 
Reggue songs with farts in them. as well us lots of 
Shakespeare performed with farts What more can be said 
without a fart onomatopoeia. which I'm not willing to type 


Mrs. Fun “The Best Of.“ (Daemon POB 1207 Decatur. GA 
3003!) Bizarrely progressive beatnik jazz rock with a dribble 
of James Chance-esque No Wave and a sprinkle of Be Bop 
and a spilled cup of coffeehouse java. 


The Murder City Devils “In Name And Blood” (Sub Pop) 
V've heard from the Springer audiences a phrase that | believe 
goes. “Suse the druma for your mama!" Well there is no mami 
in the world. no PTA counci) full of mamas for that matter. that 
could contain the drama held within this silver CD disc. 
Perhaps the most epic whirlwind of Pirate Ship. mythic. 
ughiness exer unleashed Well, maybe I'm being a bit 
dramatic. myself, but its MCD’s influence. But this 1s good 
Very good 


Muuna Takeena zine (Talvipaivanseisaus Prod Timo 
Palonen Hepokuja 6 B 26 FIN-01200 Vantaa Finland) This 
review zine (in English) has tons of interesting writeups of 
scores of zines and audio. so you should definitely send your 
zine or record their way 


Billie Myers “Vertigo” (Universal) Despite what you may 
think about me. | want everyone to be successful and 1 hope 
BM makes a zithon dollars. That said. this 1s an album of 
songs with coffeehouse acoustic sensibilites produced like 


they were Queen or something It just doesn't chick. But I 
Ihhe her teeth! 
My 3 Scum “The Best & Worst of My 3 Scum Vol 1” (Eene 


2408 Peach St. Eerie. PA £6502) Misfits on dust' 


Mytown (Cherryv/Universal) | love boy groups better than 
most. but this one has a problem. Instead of doing the 
Swedish composed recognizable style which seems to be 
written for the kind of voices these bands have. these guys do 
stuff that might really be on Blach radto if it was recorded by 
someone else. And they just don’t have the pipes for this 
matenal lt might be their town, but it sure ain't their 
neighborhood, if you know what I mean? 


Nandor Nevai “The A Cupella Cantata” CD, “Diabolical 
Interventions” 7° (Flemishmasters org 8581) Santa Monica 
Blyd. #447) West Hollywood. CA 90069) This is 
undoubtedly one of the most gloriously fucked recordings to 
be released this century. and may be the most important album 
lown. Self-dubbed “Hari-Karuoke.” this CD stunds as a post- 
post-post-modern artifact that makes you rethink everything 


vou thought you knew about Satanism. teen poetry and nude 
male models. The single is esther played on guar or by 
rubbing balloon animal balloons together furtously 


Napaim Death “The Complete Radio One Sessions” (Fuel) | 
saw Napalm Death once on an East Coast show that was one 
of the first of the tour. At one point the drummer got up and 
started chastising the audience for not hking them enough 
“We're Napalm Death...NAPALM DEATH!” This comp of 
BBC appearances from over the years and buck im the day 
explains his confusion when greeted with only moderate 
worshipping. They were the KINGS OF GRIND und the 
amazing matenal herein proves that their reign wus a 
meritocracy. If | could wnte in the tone of singing Napalm 
Death popularized (some call at “Cookie Monster Voculs”) 
then Jd attmept to describe this. but I can't. Suffice to say. 
this ts BRUTAL as the BBC ever got 


Nerve Agents “Days Of The White Owl” (Revelation) All out. 
bad assed. evil-sounding. desperation-core' With a few 
monsters thrown in 


Nevada Bachelors “Hello Jupiter’ (PopLlama POB 95364 
Seattle. WA 98145-2364) I'd marry them' Goof core from a 
band with a vocalis/guitarist named Robb that looks very 
Brandon Walsh circa Sth season 90210...but with more cred! 
Good “whoo whoos” on track 1}! 


Never Mind The Sex Pistols Here’s The Tribute (RADICAL 
77 BLEEKER ST. #C2-21 NYC 10012) Bands ! didn‘: even 
know still existed (and I'm happy to know they do) pay 
tribute to some obscure punk act. Showcase Showdown, 
Ducky Boys and Total Chaos prove to be three bands who 
ought not think “no future for me” 


New Bomb Turks “Nightmare Scenano” (Epitaph) Tough 
guy. bar brawl rawk that makes your head both bang ..and 
think. 


New Coat Of Paint “songs of tom waits” (Manifesto 740 
North La Brea Ave 2nd fl. LA, CA 90038-3339) Fairly 
powerful Tom Waits tribute with powerful, wacks by 
Screaming Jay Hawkins, Andre Williams. Knoxville Girls, 
Sally Norvell, The Blacks and other equally amazing arusts 
The only disuppointment here is the faithfulness to the 
originals, but the fact 1s, the originals are so strong tt makes 
sense. and at no point do the cover artists appear to not be 
invested in giving their all. A wiumph of great songwriting 
meeting sincerity 


Nine Wood “Amencan Salt Lick” (Vaccination POB 20931 
Oakland. CA 94611) Gave me non-wood. Yuk. 


No Apples For Adam {Armored Outreach POB 43291 
Birmingham, AL 35243) Decaffeinated coffeehouse music 


NOFX “Pump Up The Valium” (Epitaph) “Pods and Gods” 
b/w “What's the matter With parents Today?" (Fat) To 
paraphrase the Spice Girls movie, the album is perfect, without 
necessarily being particularly good. 1 don’t particularly like 
either song on the single. either. but the orange vinyl is 
BEAUTIFUL! 


Noogie “Learn To Swim” (Traumal5165 Ventura Blvd. ste 
320 Sherman Ouks 91403) Boogie with Noogie and you'll be 
cool us a wookie! 


The No WTO Combo “Live From The Battle of Seuttle™ 
(Alternative Tentacles) Jello. Krist Novoselic. Kim Thayil. and 
Gina Muaiwal rock a crowd of like minded individuals at the 
Battle of Seattle WTO protests. Jello’'s not at his 
CleveresUmost bing. but no doubt drops some serious 
knowledge to people who may have been at the show just to 
see Grunge heroes on stage. Most surprising is his deference 
lo the good behavior of the cops. but he makes clear that this 
protest isn’t about the act of civil disobedience. its about 
raising awareness of the whole nefarious WTO concept. In the 
sense of trying to get the message out it's a good thing he got 
the non-politicized Nirvana fans in the house, and it’s cool 
that they perform “Let's Lynch The Landlord.” because the 
more people that buy this and hear the gospel the better. This 
18 the best example of punk as 60s folk I've ever heard. wath 
Jello singing lyrics about Clinton and Nafta. Serious text in 
the booklet will hopefully also do some edpicatin® 


OHM: The Early Gurus Of Electronic Music 1948-1980 
(Elipsis Arts 20 Lumber Road Roslyn. NY 11576) A far more 
fantasuc collecuon than I can summarize here. but all the great 
“names” (Cage. Stockhausen. Eno, Raymond Scott. Clara 
Rockmore) and more importantly, all the great music ts here 
While this is an indispensable. crucial historical compilation 
document. the reul magic is just plying this without thinking 
about the arasts, pluying the tracks ut random, disregarding 
the (REMARKABLE!) liner notes and just bathing in some of 
the weirdest. most beautiful. most astounding, funniess, 
Scariest, Most inspirauonal music ever. This is the sound of a 
1/2 century of musicians discovering a new instrument that 
usks not just to be mustered but to be altered and improved 
upon constantly 


one man army “last word spoken” (Adeline 5337 College 
Ave. #318 Oakland. CA 94618) Man oh man. what un army! 
There's u guy named Hetko with the best hairline in punk 


Opera Dog zine (POB 10087 Knoxville, TN 37939) Kat 
loves King Diamond, but her new zine is dedicated to her fave 
opera star Valentin Pryichinov (he must be hot). Not enough 
of her great comax, but lots of fun stuff anyhow. 


77 


ORSo “long time by” (Perishable) They coulda kept this 
instrumental and had me think this was basically goofiness 
with aspirations of grandeur, but they opened their mouth and 
removed all doubt. Atsts best this does effecuvely infuse 
rural/traditional musical aesthetics with genuine creepiness 


Pimpadelic “Southern Devils” (Tommy boy) The South vill 
fall again.and again and again. Pure stupidity without a lick 
of stupid freshness 


Pinhead Gunpowder “Landlords” b/w “Black Mountain Pt 
3° (Lookout) They say pinheads are hyper-sexual. and after 
listening to this ] can see why, if you know what | mea.n 


Pistol Whipped “Too Much Excitement” (Beluga) I'd expect 
more violence from 4 band named after a pistol whipping. but 
there's some magic in the relative muldness here and there 
More like a light glove slap. though 


Pocket #8. “this is your toy and I want it,” “Dork 
Lifestyle,’ “where’s the cookie,” elephant book (by Missy. 
24 Longvue Cir. Ambridge PA 15003) Missy hus been doing 
comsx in a simple. playful indie rock style since she was in 
high school, and she’s in her mid 20s now and remarkably 
sull has the same playful innocence and joy as when she 
started. 1 think her children’s book style stuff may be her best 
work. but this stuff isn’t about judgemnet or skills. it's about 
doing and expressing. so I shouldn't pick faves. 


Iggy Pop “Live In NYC” (King Bicuit Flower Hour POB 
6700 FDR Station NYC 10150) You'd expect ths mud 80s 
concert to be better. but the clean recording and tame band 
make for a more average show than anything else. Very clean 
recording. so if you wanna hear a real pro Iggy concen 
reCording this may be for you. but the bonus wack from later 
show has a more nasty groove. 


The Posers “Anti-Christian Animosity” (Griled Cheese/Cargo) 
They play both kinds of music. Hard and core 


Pryde Of The X-Men (Oglio POB 404 Redando Beach. CA 
90277) Yes this is a knockoff, but what a glorious knockoff 
On the one hand this is made to look like a soundtrack to the 
X-Men movie, rather than what it 1s. a soundtrack to A X-Men 
movie...sorta. This is from a TV cartoon pilot from the 80s 
that didn’t click. At the tume Marvel Comics was branching 
out into animation doing Saturday morning and syndicated 
cartoons based on their own characters (Spiderman), toys that 
they made symbiotic comics and cartoons for (G.I. Joe) and 
Strange things like the umeless panda bear adventure classic 
“Pandamonium'” I guess X-Men, their top comic at the ume. 
didn’t have the cinematic jutce it has today. But while uming 
may imply this CD 1s an out and out scam release. it actually 
does very little to cop the look or vibe of the new X-Men 
movie...rather it pets everything right. Rather than trying to 
be ull dark steel and leather. this is all glorious comic book 
primary colors in a vellow plastic jewel case that makes the 
whole thing look like a big fun toy. The music is a 
combination of melodramatic instrumentals, stuff you'd expect 
to hear on Gi Joe. some Iimspired by” rap tunes, and there's 
ulso some snippets of Stan Lee interviews about the X-Men 
The real hook here is that the word “copyright” or “Marvel” 
tppears no where and no pictures of the characters are 
included and the logo looks hke the X-Men logo. but isn‘! 
quite it. So we have a new mutunt here in charge of the 
project. one with the power to morph through loopholes’ 


Punk O Rama #5 (Epitaph) Even within their “punk” lineup. 
Epitaph has really diversified their sounds, as this sampler 
testifies. 1 woulda slipped a Merle Haggard tune on it. 
though 


Queers “Beyond the valley of the assfuckers” (Hopeless) 
Meun pop punk.. what a concept! More nasty profanity and 
hate and bile than usually fits on a disc this size. Funny. 
though. 


Quix-O-Tic “Night For Day” (Ixor Sux P.O. Box 218/1 
Wahington, D.C. 20009) Gingerbread house dwelling witch 
music. light on the gumdrops. heavy on the molassas 


radford (RCA) Un-rad 


Jason Raize “You Win Again” b/w “I'd Be Lyin” (Universal) 
I'm not gay or anything. but I'm as willing as the next guy to 
gel into that mundset to appreciate the Boy Band age hothes 
pumping out hot swealy hits these days. But even giving 
him some leeway for his swarthy good looks and luscious. 
“Joker”-esque lips. THIS MUSIC SUCKS! Too boring. these 
ucls are trying to go Adult Contemporary before ever going 
leenybopper now. Fuck thal 


Red Bennies/Amnergris split CD (Soul of Desert’ POB 
520002-0002 SLC. UT 84152) Red Bennies demonstrate 
rock and rol] desperation in a way that had me reaching for the 
thesauras and coming up empty. This shit is serious! 
Ambergris have it going on LARGE, but I'm not sure exactly 
what "it" Is. 


Reggie And The Full Effect “Promotional Copy” (Heroes & 
Villans/Vagrant PMB 361 2118 Wilshire Blvd. Santa 
Monica, CA 90403) Though this ts a concept album !} 
couldn't actually grasp what the concept was but any excuse 
to wallow in (without thyme, reason or warming) every 
conceivable genre. from Metal to Gay Disco to square dance 
music to Laihach’esque Dwarf-core to non holiday themed 
Manheim Steamrollerism is tops in my book. 


The Reign “Zippered Up Heart“b/w unknown ihe “Ive Had 
Enough" (Norton) “Zippered Up Heart” is the first known 
recording by Johnny Thunders (tho' it’s been widely believed 
that the 1971 recordings by Actress, which only surfaced 
recently themselves, were the earliest in existence), an acetate 
made in 1967, Johnny and his bandmates were just 16 years 
old. Even then, you'll note from the two great sleeve photos. 
he dressed impeccably cool BUT, if you're expecting to hear 
some imunediate unifying tink to, say. “Chinese Rocks" or 
“Jet Boy”. you may not find it...at least, not right off the bat. 
If you listen closely, you may hear early traces of Johnny's 
patented “chicken scratch” delivery, a bit of Bo, a little Keef, 
but you have to remember, it's extemely unlikely that Johnny 
had s¢en or heard The MCS at this point. so the sonic attack 
isn’t happening yet. Still, the way he switches off from 
rhythm to lead with no hint of irony (he was the only guitarist 
in the group) is probably the forbear to the Johnny/Syl 
technique (tho Johnny would later say that Sy! taught him to 
play). [t's jangly, melodic Folk Punk that sorta clumps along 
at a galloping pace. You gotta remember, these guys were 
from New York, so naturally thay fooked up to The 
Vagrants (Johnny even said later that “The first ome ahh gawt 
FUCKED was with a gurl ah met at a Vagrants cahhncert’), 
who were the decidedly more melodic side of the Garage coin, 
obviously what they were striving for. The flipside is from an 
acetate of an unknown band purchased for a dollar on the 
strength of the recommendation, “It's like The Stones, only 
worse.” Actually, it sounds like a more punked up take on 
the Zombies. Great vocals, solid playing. a bit more 
professional than The Reign, but both sides succeed on their 
own terms. 


The Riptones “Buckshot” (Bloodshot 3039 W. Irving Park 


Rd. Chicago, [L 60618) {t's nice to hear Bloodshot stay 
dedicated to the amazingly non-progressive. good ol’ 
fashioned Countrybilly RocknRol! of the Riptones. Bar 


Band rules apply here. and this mules the bar! 


The Rivieras “Surfin’ Fun” b/w “I'm Lookin’ For Someone 
To Love” (Norton) Had this previously un-ished ‘64 record 
hit back in the day. it would have been the impetus for 
midwestern kids to finally figure out how to surf on stalks of 
corn. 


Rockin’ Jellybean’s Jumpin’ Jukebox (Dionysus) This 
project was delayed for years and that ends up making this 
comp far more unusual than it should be. Everyone knows 
Britney replaces Spice Girls and Shania replaces Reba. but 
you don't really think about the trendiness of Garage rock, 
but, dude, it exists! Case in point, remember Japanmania from 
a few years back? It seemed there was one 77 punk/Link 
Wray/Johnny Thunders influenced Japanese band a week 
making waves, but that's dried up, now hasn't it? Well 
apparently a lot of that has to do with the bands now getting 
more opportunity to play in their native land. but luckily they 
were still in the exile groove when this dynamic comp was 
comp-iled. Jet Boys, Jackie and the Cedrics, Guitar Wolf and 
the Pebbles are known commodities, but get ready for Lulu's 
Marble, Money Spyders, Tweezers and more! The magic of 
this stuff is how clearly they can see and get at the pure 
Americaness of American Rock and Roll. Hot stuff! 


Rooster Blues Records 1980-2000 (Rooster POB 40997 
Memphis. TN 38174) A super solid comp featuring such 
heroes and hacks (and in my opinion the Blues hacks in 
Chicago have an incredible amount of charm and power) as 
Lonnie Shields. Eddie C. Campbell, Eddy Clearwater, Super 
Chikan and the best Magic Stim track ever, “Give me Back My 
Wig.” 1980 may seem like a Jate startin the Blues game, but 
this proves thal a good ear, good artists and good dedication 
can deliver Blues in the timeless way the genre always 
promises but rarely reaches. * 


The Rotters “Pull It And Yell” (Dionysus/Bacchus Archives) 
Amazingly bad (in a punk way) first wave LA punk rock that 
tnes SO hard to be offensive that you want to hug them like 
teddy bears. A fairly amazing artifact. 


Runnin’ On Fumes! compilation (Gearhead) This compiles all 
the singles from Gearhead, which you may already have, but 
isn't this convenient? A who's who of cool, with only a 
coupla bands I ve never dug (like Mieces, and...hey. that's 
only one band!). SCOTS, Untamed Youth, Girt Trouble, 
Davie Allan, Supercharger, Red Aunts, Donnas...it’s all killer 
no filler! 


Bobby Rush, live at 43rd St. Blues Festival, Chicago, IL. 
Bobby Rush is one of the few blues acts going these days 
who's unafraid to be tasteless. The usual sanctimonious blues 
types love it when Buddy Guy walks thru the audience with 
an_extra-long guitar cord and repeats the word “shit” ull it 
loses its’ sting, but the goodtimey burlesque of Bobby Rush 
takes some getting used to. While the white blues 
atekeepers make up their minds on whether Rush is P.C. or 
not, black folks (his core audience) love him, as evidenced by 
this outdoor show. Hell, [ don't even know where to begin, 
so fll just put my random, disjointed thoughts to paper: (1) 
He changed clothes at least once---from a simple all-white 
ensemble to a really goofy-looking multicolored shirt, blue 
polyester bell-bottoms, and a WI-I-I-DE white Elvis-in- Vegas 
belt. (2) His greasy mudflup mullet (short on top, long in 
back) is one of the greatest hairstyles in the history of history. 
(3) He did this blisteringly funny routine on the merits of 
“Lovin’' A Big Fat Woman,” right down to displaying a pair 
of Valentine's Day panties big enough to house a whole 
family. (4) Toni Preckwinkle, « prominent South Side 
alderman, was-in the audience, curling up her lip. and looking 


DISGUSTED. Maybe she was expecting to see the Chicago 
politician ALSO named Bobby Rush? (5) Can't forget his 
dancing hoochie mamas, who would turn their backs to the 
audience and wiggle their butts in everybody's face. (6) After 
one audience member claimed to have stolen Rush's woman. 
the singer told him to “set your narrow ass down.” (7) Rush: 
“See this girl [one of his dancers] over here? Look at that butt- 
--she a nice YOUNG hen! All you women over thirty-eight. 
don't try this! You might need somebody to help your ass 
back up!” I guess I should comment on the songs performed. 
but it’s hard with an arust who steals random lines from 
random songs, like a medley. No, the blues societies can't get 
behind him, which means he's got to be good. 


Sacred Steel “Bloodlust” (Metal Blade) The vocals sound like 
Weird Al doing Jello Biafra singing Epic Metal. In other 
words. BRILLIANT! 


Samiam “Astray” (Hopeless) Surprisingly vital and exciting 
driving melodic music with an Alice Cooper inspired 
packaging twist. Good guitar jangle recording. 


The Satyrs (Black Dog Route 1 Box 163-A Monticello MS 
39654) A powerful ambitious record that combines elements 
of the Doors, Chris Isaak and Southern cooking. Definitely 
mood music, but the exact mood doesn't have a name. 


Scat Rag Boosters “Slickat” ep (Flying Bomb) Skanky, 
stanking Hyper-Blooze that will set your brains evolutionary 
clock backwards like Superman changing the earth's rotation 


Scotchgreens “Draw” (Hairballs/Cargo) Tarintino once talked 
about Surf music as the American equivalent of Spaghetti 
Western soundtrack compositions. This band wipes that slate 
Clean by taking every Southwestern aesthetic, from cowboy to 
Southern Rawk to country, and makes a whole new movie 
score. 


Scratchabit (Broken dreams” ep (El Sabado) Ugiycore that 
tempers brutality with a bdricollage of some of the most 
unexpected passages imaginable. Thought provoking. 


The Sea and the Cake “oui” (Thrill Jockey) I don't know 
how to pronounce the album title...but it should be “Ooh- 
WHEEE!” This it that good! Air-ier than a Ritz cracker. 


schuell zine ($2, POB 4663 Lafayette, IN 47903) I'm always 
happy to see something cool come out of Indy, and this has 
got all the punk zine parts (columns, reviews, interviews) and 
it’s a fun read. Plus they give the band vocabulary tests at the 
end of the interview! 


Screaming Jay Hawkins “Best of the Bizarre Sessions 1990- 
1994” (Manifesto 740 North La Brea Avenue 2" Fl. LA, CA 
90038) This is so much better than I expected. On muny of 
Jay's records from the last 20 years the emphasis is on 
clowning and absurdity to the point where it becomes a 
minstrel show in Halloween garb. These tracks, however, are 
solid Blues based slabs with real meat and sauce. When Jay 
gets outrageous and starts throwing profanity, hyperbole and 
insanity around on these tacks, it’s a natural progression and 
fits organically, you believe inspiration has struck him. And 
if his “Ol' Man River” isn’t supposed to have some 
undercurrents about the history of African Americans in 
entertainment I'll be an Alligator’s Uncle. 


Secret Hate “pop cult vomit" (cornerstone r.a.s. 16572 Burke 
Lane Huntington Beach, ca 92647-4538) The secrets out...1 
hate this! 


Semiautomatic (SRC 5 Rue Christie POB 1190 Olympia. 
WA 98507-1190) This is crazy people music. This is music 
made by small, dangerous robots. This is crazy robot music. 


764-HERO “Weekend Of Sound” (Up) We need another hero! 


Sgt. Rock “Live The Dream” (Beggers Banquet) Awesome 
techno flatulance beats and non-sequitorial vamping. 


Shakura (POBox 379157 Chicago, IL 60657) Inscense 
smoke clouds the brain and this musc makes you a member of 
a tribe of some sorts that has a lotta questions and several 
answers. This takes drum circle vibes to the next level. 


Lonnie Shields “Midnight Delight” (Rooster Blues) Striking a 
balance between the Z.Z. Hill period when Blues was alst 
played on Black radio, the sad but clear voice of Robert cray, 
and some straight up Delta stuff, this is one of my favorite 
Blues albums in awhile from an always reliable performer. 


Shiner “starless" (Owned and Operated POB 36 Fort Collins 
CO 80522) Shines with unique independent spirit and some 
tuff punk based, but not punk, chops. 


Shorthanded “Forever Yours” (Tooth and Nail) Some records 
are so forgettable you can’t remember them the second you 
take it off the player. I'm actually stil! listening to this one 
and I can’t remember it! 


sicbay “Fort Busy Signal" (Perverted Son 1006 E 49th St. 
Austin TX 78751) Musical witch doctors concoct a potent 
American jam band brew 


Silkworm “Lifestyle” (Touch and Go) This music is a perfect 
vessel for secret messages and bizarre subtextual ideas, and | 
believe I will heed every directive on this album. 


78 


Siio The Huskie (Cargo/Headhunter) Sounds better than a 
band called “Silo The Huskie” should, but that's as fas as ['m 
willing to go. 


Will Simmons “HIM with his head in his Hands“ (Unread 
POB 3462 Omaha, NE 68103) Will Simmons? 1 hope he will, 
cuz if there's one thing U can't get enuf of after several hours of 
Death Metal (which [ listen to every morning as { do my 
Stairmaster®) it's a strummy. spare single that sounds like it 
was recorded by a skinny guy who was naked when he sat in 
front of the four track and laid his soul to bare. Yes! 


Nancy Sinatra) “Movin'With Nancy" video (Boots 
Enterprises/ Image — Entertainment,Inc. 9333 OSO 
Ave. Chatsworth.Ca.91311) tTS ABOUT TIME! Hell. 1 


thought I'd never get to see a copy of Nancy's T.V special. 
much less find out that it really lives up to the term 
“spectacular”! Did you EVER think you'd see Nancy and Lee 
Hazlewood do “Some Velvet Morning” on video? | didn’t. 
either, Words fail me. Frankie, Dino AND Sammy are here. 
Nancy doing an extended tribute to her Dad, who's shown 
“behind the scenes” in the recording studio. and in fine 
voice,..Dean Martin turns up. too (He's actually gets listed in 
the credits by the displaying of a giant Matt Helm movie 
billboard!) and.of course, duets with Nancy on" Things”. He 
doesn’t look too good, but exudes plenty of cool. Sammy 
makes an appearance.though (amazingly) he doesn’t sing. He 
sll boogaloo’s and scoobee-doo’s his ass off in his “I Gotta 
Be Me"-era beads nehru threads. Nancy looks like a million 
day-glo orange/raspberry mod 
ensemble) and does a sweetly seductive “Sugar Town" 
looking like she ought to be the mayor of said town. There's 
a great, though very corny routine (dancers “floating” 
alongside footage of a hot air balloon) set to “Up. Up and 
Away” (T.V. specials always had to include this song. or one 
like at, back then),"Friday’s Child" is predictably set over a 
psuedo “Tobacco Road" setting. which, turns out to be an oil 
rig. Sull it's her finest moment, musically, here (Believe it or 
not,”"Boots’ doesn’t turn up, and, alas. neither does 
“Lightning's Girl.” but it's all good). The intro’s too much. 
too-Nancy driving around in a beautiful magenta-colored 
convertable. with matching heart-crushers ("“Boots”, that 
is)blowing Lee Hazelwood’s clothes off (leaving him in pink 
longjohns!), and meetin’ Dad (dressed as a cop!).and Frank, Jr. 
makes a goofy cameo during Nancy and Lee's hilarious 
reading of “Jackson”. On top of all that, there’s behind the 
scenes home movies with Nancy's recent commentary. AND all 
the commercials, for R.C Cola(one with Dino, Desi and Billy. 
and two with Nancy, the first being one of the sexiest ads I've 
ever seen. I don't even LIKE R.C., but now it's “Summer 
Wine,” baby!).It's a fun package. showcasing a lady who, 
make no mistake about it, 1s a class act. I've seen her live, she 
was incredible, and I've met her twice, and she’s the absolute 
coolest. So's this video! 


bucks (especially in a 


Sir Douglas Quintet "Best of The Sir Douglas Quintet.” “The 
Sir Douglas Quintet is Back” (Beat RockeVSundazed P.O 
BOX 85 COXSACKIE.N.Y. 12051)) These VERY welcome 
additions to the (pitifully sparse) SDQ reissue catalogue are 
the next best thing to getting a postcard from Doug Sahm in 
Heaven (“Dear Friends. LAAAWWD! This place is a 
GROOVE!! The Cubs win EVERY DAY!!") “Best of” is an 
exact dupe of the extremely rare debut LP of the Huey Megux- 
era SDQ, PLUS B-sides "Blue Norther” and “Bacon Fut" (The 
same'). The sound quality is superb (LOTS better'n the 80's 
re- ish I've got), and both LPs are pressed on 180 gram vinyl} 
(a positive trend goin’ round). The breakthrough smash, 
“She's About a Mover" is joined by shoulda-been-hits like 
"The Tracker” and “Please Just Say So” as well as remarkably 
mature readings of “In The Pines,” “He's In The Jailhouse 
Now” and probably the best white (AND brown) version of 
“The Man Downstairs,” and of course, "The Rains Came.” the 
band's second hit, and a classic in it's own right. Doug's 
gritty, soulful R'n’'B/C&W vocal stylings are accentuated by 
his own great Blues guitar licks, Augie Meyers’ fiery keyboard 
riffs, and the primitive stomp n'groove of Srs.Barber, Perez.and 
Morin. Though they couldn't stomp out The Beatles (who 
openly admired them), they more than held down the fort. 
The SDQ not only remembered The Alamo, they RE- 
ENACTED it. only this time, Davy Crockett and Santa Ana 
fought side by side. “Is Back!" is an absolute godsend 
Several tracks have appeared on (hard to obtain) comps, bul 
are remastered for maximum caffeine advantage. with several. 
even more rare and wondrous, cuts serving as a reminder of 
the group's remarkable creative output in the pre and post- 
“Mover”, pre-Frisco period. “Sugar Bee.” released in '64, kind 
of makes mincemeat of the theory that the SDQ got their thang 
from “She's a Woman.” Sounds like the other way around to 
me. The later B-side, “Love Don't Treat Me Fair,” has a 
“Lennon does Dylan" “Help"-era feel, but it's still as Texan as 
fireworks, snake farms, and chicken-fried steak. “You Got Me 
Hurtin’ still manages to sound like it was made last week (If it 
were only true), then you've got Sahm's inspired reading of 
Leadbelly classics, “John Hardy” and “Bill Buetty” (He also 
re-did this in a lively medley with “When I Was a Cowboy” a 
few years later), the low down, West Side T Bone Walkerish 
“When I Sing The Blues,” the Proto-Punk punch of “She's 
Gotta Be Boss” (Which'd be right at home on “Teenage 
Shutdown", were it not for the horns), the Psych/Rn'B killer. 
"She Digs My Love”, and possibly the best-ever Frat-bashing 
of "Wine.Wine,Wine,” and I still ain't even scratched the 


surface! WOO!MAAAN,ITS TOO MUCH!! ITS A SOLID 
GROOVE!! Y'ALL HIP LIL KITTIES BETTER PICK UP ON 
iT.NOW,Y'HEAR? 


Sister Hazel “fortress” (Universal) | don’t want to ever drink in 
a bar where this would be the appropriate bar band. 
Countrified Hootie. 


Sit n’ Spin “Enjoy The Ride“ (Cargo) I've always dug this 
band. but this pop girl group not worred about being the 
hardest rockin gals, rather just good music makers, have 
reached new heights with this release. Girl harmmony groups 
are invoked as much (or more) than Garage Punks and that 
elevates this to a level of magtc-making rarely visited from 
groups that come out of the Garage scene. 


$6.99/b zine ($3, POB 43481 Somerville, MA 02143) This 
zine kicks ass, with good interviews with good bands and 
lots of them. Did I already say this kicks ass? Well. it does. 


Sleater-Kinney “All Hands On The Bad One” (Kill Rock 
Stars) Doesn’t so much rock as it rolls. Not as magical as their 
last one, but definitely demonstrative of knowing-what- 
they’re-doing. Of course, I think they have enuf press 
clippings on this already. That's not a value judgement. just 
a factoid. 


Slick Shoes “Wake Up Screaming” 
MEDIOCRE with a capitol everything. 


(Tooth and Nail) 


Sloppy Seconds “Garbage Days Regurgitated” (Nitro) 
Awesome concept — they do covers of records so obscure and 
stupid it’s almost embarrassing to admut you Itke them! A 
uack from The “Time Squares” soundtrack. a Dee Dee King 
song. a Joan Jett album track and a cover of a cover of 
showtune. The only ringer is “TV Party.” 


Sludgefeast “Baby You Fuck Me Up” ep (Seriously Groovy) 
FUCK YEAH! 


Jena Smith (KRS) Genius music 


Smoking Popes “Live” (Double Zero POB 7122 Algonquin, 
IL 60102) Somehow on their live album they sound like 
Morrisey fronting Green Day. Not a bad concept. really. if 
you were a big fan this isn't the usual knock off live cash in. 
this seems to be a labor of love to get material to the fans of a 
band that’s gone on the other stuff and won't be getting back 
together. 


Snub “Memories In Richter” (Copro) Ominously brutal! 


Jit] Sobule “Pink Pearl” (Beyond) While I have an inclination 
to be cynical, I have to admit these clever, sweet, wordy spare 
singer-songwriter tunes really get to me. While their charm is 
slicker and cuter than, say. Lois’ K Records albums or other 
Pacific Northwest Punk-Folk stuff, these songs have a 
cofeehouse integrity that removes them from corporate Lilith 
circles. 


Sonic Youth “nyc ghosts & flowers” (Geffen) Just plain good. 
Not a work of genius and inspiration like their recent salute to 
avant garde composers, but doubtlessly a record that will 
make you start ranking what SY albums you like the most us 
to figure out where this fits in. 


The Sound of Modern America comp w/dementia thirteen. 
Panic Buttons, bonb city. The Hecklers (Zodiac) A solid 
comp. all the bands are winners, but the surprise here is Bob 
City. with a country garage track that coulda played at 
Woodstock but still would make the scene at a drag race. 


Sparechange 00 “...at first sight" (Cargo) Yuccch. What is it 
with Ohio and mediocrity. That state has had a few awesome 
bands and apparently more average ones than any other in 
America. 


Sparks “Balls (Oglio) There are a million reasons Sparks will 
never get respect (their new release coming out on a label that 
just released albums by porn stars, superheroes and a guy 
who farts to the beat doesn't help) but listening to this gem it 
seems they should be Presidents of Music Country. Simply 
put, dus album is astounding. and the title track is a 
“bouncy” dance tune I could listen to indefinitely. 
Debauchery. erotic & exotic adventures and lessons on life 
abound in this, the Mael Bros. Answer to every trend in Pop 
since 1978. You'll be doing yourself a favor getting this. 





Speedbuggy USA “Cowboys and Aliens” (Cargo/Headhunter) 
Diesel, souped up, American punk-a-drag rock with all the 
right ugly in all the right places. 


Squad 5-0 “Bombs Over Broadway” (Tooth and Nail) This is 
THE BOMB! It references over a million good and funny 
things about rock and. 


SRC “Biack Sheep” (RPM) It's not surprising to find an 
English archival compilation of this Detroit band. Though 
most American bands in the 60s got their groove from across 
the pond after the Englanders had already done their stuff with 
American R&B (in the mid 60s many of the Chicago Garage 
Blues bands had never listened to Black Blues even though 
they lived a few miles from the arusts who made the records). 
this is one of the few bands that truly gor Cream, “SF Sorrow” 
and the more “continental” Bnt stuff. These tacks from the 
late sixties don’t sound like any of their Michigan 
contemporaries, but rather have the kind of storybook rock 
and roll epic quality of some of their Merry Olde heroes. 
However. a distinct midwestern accent makes Uus stand out. 
These are complex, intelligent tracks, that know how to be 
dumb! 


SR71 “now you see inside” (RCA) Man these guys wanna 
look pretty really bad...if only they'd arrived in the Poison 
era, although their Knack meets John Mellencamp meets Green 
Day vibe might not have gone over, they coulda worn 
lipstick! 


Starling “Sustainer” (Tume Bomb 6 West 57th St. NYC 
10019) They have a song called “Earnest” that's not about 
Jim Varney’s lovable character, but I guess they're OK 
anyhow. I'd name this genre Smarmy Rock. 


The Static “Stab At The Night” ep (Rocknrol] Blitzkneg! POB 
11906 Berkely CA 94712) Fugly brawl-core with scars and 
bruises to prove their pedigree. 


Stereophonic Space Sound Unlimited “the spacesound effect” 
(Dionysus) I know I’m suppose to be cyniocal and say 
“Everything sucks!" but when [ hear something like this I just 
think. “There's too much great music in the world...there’s not 
enough time to listen to it all!’ [ could play this space spy 
detective superhero jazz pop soul music all day every day and 
my life and attitude would improve tremendously. And | 
think 1 will. 


The Story So Far “When fortune Smiled” (Hopeless) So far, 
SO SO. 


Strung Out “the element of sonic defiance” (Fat) | thought | 
wus buying NSYNC “No Swings Attached,” so I was 
pleasantly surprised to hear this bile-istic futuristic ugly-core 


Sunny Day Real Estate “The Rising Tide” (Time Bomb) It'll 
be a sunny day in Hell when I play this again. It sounds like 
I'd expect a new Yes album to sound if it was 1989 today 


Sun Ra and his Infinity Arkestra “Strange Strings” (El 
Saturn) When | saw a vinyl bootleg (no origin traceable. 
xerox cover) of this lost gem I was pretty excited. This 1s the 
legendary album where our heroes have their gear stolen and 
record an improvised LP with borrowed instruments of 
varieties they've never played before. To be honest. as a fella 
weaned on noisecore and supreme dissonance. I was pretty 
taken back by how together this is, not nearly as “Out” as Ra 
at his out-est, and pretty easy to enjoy. Not so easy however 
that the clerk didn’t offer this non-disclaimer: “This bootleg 
was mastered from a vinyl copy, and not mastered well...but 
for this material, you can’t really tell the difference!” 


Sun Ra vs. Dan and Dale (Magic City) This is a high quality 
reissue of the Batman and Robin rock and roll bubblegum 
kids record that Sun Ra played organ as a session hack on. 
The Blues Project make up the bulk of the band 9and sound 
like itO0 and apparently the U of c based Blooze Jews. sent for 
fellow southsider and some of his cronies to chip in. Good 
luck ever finding the origina! that doesn't look like it's been 
cleaned with a Brillo pad (it's a common record, “Batman and 
robin” on Tifton, but kids aren‘t usually particularly tender 
with their albums). 


Super Chikan “blues come home to roost” (Rooster Blues) 
Jazzy mellow Blues that sound more feline than fowl, but 
nonetheless would add class to any coop. barn, shack or 
mansion. 


Supergrass (Island) Grassier than it is super. 


Super Transatlantic “Shuttlecock” (Universal) Super stupid! 
Rock Star Attempt Grande! 


Sweeder “swallowed by the sun“ (Monitor POB 2361 
Baltimore, MD 21203) Sweeter than the Sweet, and Sweeder 
than the swedes. Chill out vibes with some interesting 
drumming. 


Tanger (Owned and Operated/Tanger POBox 754 Fort 
Collins, CO 80522) Not exactly a barrel of laughs. this is 
some of that serious music as practitioned in D.C., if you 
know what I mean. Fairly “In Your Face.’ 


Teenage Shutdown: “She's A Pest”, Teenage Shutdown: 
“No Tease...”, Teenage Shutdown: “I’m Gonna Stay” 
(Crypt) More volumes of 60s teen madness, these platters each 
have their own grooves and themes. The first features all 
“swingers.” On the title track. “Teenage Pest.” the Insects 
really impress the Crypt-keepers, but other than a blazing 
instro break. of all the tracks here this sounds the most like a 
60s sit-com attempt to simulate a rocknroll band. Which isn’t 
a bad thing. My faves are local boyz, The Treez and a bargain 
basement snotter from Mott's Men, “She Is So Mean.” “No 
Tease” seems to focus on especially raw rumblers. 
“Cooilsville” by the Nomads sounds like they made a 4wuack 


out of a shoebox and reels of masking tape. And the Jesters 
IV sound Itke they're IV years old! And a band called “The 
Mere Existence” made me question mine. Sublime brilliance 
here! “I'm Gonna Stay” is a feast of Fuzzbox with some killers 
from Milwaukee's Wanderer’s Rest. the bizarrely mis-recorded 
Modd's (the vocals and fuzz guitar are recorded at 10, 
everything else is at 5. except the tambourine which is a hair 
louder) and the briliantly named Black Banana. This volume 
will leave your brain, teeth and aortas fuzzy! 


The Color Red (Spin) The color of mediocrity. 


Thingy ““To The innocent” (Absolutely Kosher 417 
Frederick St. SF. CA 94117) Made me touch my thingy. It's 
that moving. 


Thought Bombs zine ($2. free to pnmsoners POB 721 
Homewood, IL 60430) Fights the good fight and keeps it 
going strong. 


Thrones (Kill Rock Stars) This release comes one year too 
early. for if any music has reconciled the 
obelisk/monkeyman/outerspace comcepts of Kubnck’s “2001” 
as much us this, I’ve yet to hear it. Kill Rock Stars has now 
entered the realm of Classical music. 


The Thumbs “All Lesser Devils” (Adeline 5337 College Ave. 
#318 Oakland. CA 94618) To paraphrase Eddie Cochran. 
“This is sure good-rockin® man, it's THUMBthin’ else!" Punk 
as fuck without being all clichés. The phrase “Punk As Fuck” 
being a good example of a cliché. 


Johnny Thunders “In The Flesh” (Amsterdamned Box 
862558 LA, CA 90086) A surprisingly coherent live album. 
with lots of oldies covered (as Johnny is apt to do) and a lot 
more focus than I'm used to hearing on a live Thunders LP. If 
you've bought Johnny records over and over thri the years. 
But finally swore off ever getting another one. give this a Uy 
anyhow. Why should you kick a habit when JT is 
involved? 


Town and Country “It has all to do with it” (Thnll Jockey) 
When you play the new wave of Chicago underground 
music---quiet-core - you better be good! Otherwise it’s really 
easy to hear if people aren't paying attention to you. 


T. Model Ford “She Ain't None Of Yore'n” (Fat Possum) 
While his previous records have been good, this album truly 
reaches that magical Blues hypno-groove that the best stuff. 
live and recorded. in the genre achieves. Throw in some 
cryptic phraseology (He's both a “Chicken Head Man” and a 
“Wood Cutting Man") and you get a modem unmodern 
classic 


Trans Am “Red Line” (Thrill Jockey) This sets the table to be 
the expected Trans Am/Thrill Jockey challenging 
release...then it takes a turn! Around the charmingly ued 
eighth track, “Where Do You Want To Fuck Today?” this 
becomes increasingly, undeniably HORRIFY{NG! Perhaps 
the scanest, most disturbing record ever! My heart is sul 
fluttering with terror. What the hell is going on?! 


Trans Am “You Can Always Get What You Want" (Thoill 
Jockey) Belerve me when I say | mean this descnpuve phrase 
in an extremely positive way: Grooved Out Electro Flatuiance? 


Trinket “set to explodde” (RCA) Sunket. 


Triple X Records: EXXXile on main Sweet (Triple X) The 
label really has an amazing catalogue to draw upon and this 
history lesson/sampler comp offers fine stuff from the Angry 
Samoans, Bo Diddley (not his best work, but worthwhile to 
hear). Jeff Dahl and the mighty Dickies. 


Twang Bang “Kicking The toybox” (Mom's house 
www.twangbang.com 3518 N. Keeler Chicago, IL 60641) 
Redd and Itzi are like a two man Monkees conducting spike 
Jones’ City Slickers through simultaneous songbooks of 
Jonathan Richman, Residents, and the collected collection of 
Dr. Demento. 


Two Ton Boa (Kill Rock Stars) Put this on the next ome you 
read Dante's descriptions of Hell and everything will make 
better sense to you. 


Ultramagg “summer's not over” (Remedial Records POBox 
66403 Houston. TX 77266) If some assholes in the audience 
called this band “Ultrafagg!” 1 would defend them on principal 
only. On the basis of quality. | wouldn't get in fight or 
anything over them. 


Unamericam (Universal) If music can be less engaging than 
this, | can't conceive it. 


The Upskirts “Radiation Romeos” b/w “Panda Stomp” 
(Rocknroll Blitzkrieg) Joyful NYC style heroin punk that 
makes you feel good about living bad. Very danceable. so 
ladies should flock to this band. 


The Brad Upton Quintet “Black orchid” (Black Orchid POB 
17276 Boulder, CO 80308-1276) Perhaps this Jazz is at umes 
a bit schmaltzy (think background music) but there is 
definitely an undercurrent of original, odd underwater 
enchanted strangeness glittering subcutaneously. 


Urban Dance Squad “Artantica” (Triple X) Ugly. 


79 


U.S. Ceush (Virgin) This sounds like a bad record by a bund you 
used to like. except | never heard of them before. 


The Valentine Killers (Yeah, It's Rock. POB 85775 Seattle, WA 
98145) This box of punk candy has rothing but chocolate covered 
vodka soaked cherries and none of those putrid creams. 


The Vandals “Look What 1 Aimost Stepped In..." (Nitro) A 
genuinely clever Pop-Core-nocopia of songs about. you know. 
being in a band and girlfriends and even (after lumenting losing 
airplay to 80s Flashback Weekends) a song about ‘Kickin’ It with 
au genuine New Wave keyboard line in the chorus. 


Vegas Thunder “No One Fucks With...” (SFTRI. Vegas Thunder 
31 South Auburndale#2 Memphis, TN 38104) Fuck with them nat! 
These guys sound like they'd beat you down with their guitars 
mid-set.. and the damuge to the axes wouldn't affect the performance 
quality. It's like their playing inside your head with really big 
amps 


Velvet Crush “Free Expression” LP & CD (Bobsled) Pop 101: How 
to emulate your favorite records 


The Vendettas “Fast Ride” b/w “['ll Walk” (Space Baby) This 
picture disc contuins some of the funmiest. most danceable. concise 
injections of snotty punk rock und roll as you're gonna wanna 
shoot up. Hot! 


Venow “"RESURECTION” (Steamhammer) If it wasn't Venom maybe 
| wouldn't have listened all the way through. This, | believe. is not 
brilliant. However. having listened to it all the way through, and 
giving it myriad benefits of the doubt. I must declare... THIS 
FLCKING ROCKS! Easy to understand Evilness. The broad 
themed. obvious lyriced badness tunes invoke a metal Misfits far 
more thin Danzig records do. 


The Verna Cannon “Movie Star Faces” (Cargo) A band with an 
actual vocalist, us in. you would actually put her in the category of 
“Female Vocalists” in the record racks. Molly Ledford’s ability to 
use subtlety and restraint in her delivery ts matched by a classy 
combo who also seem to be able to approach rock instruments 
gingerly, Uber-pleasant. 


Veruca Salt “Resolver” (Beyond) If this was a first album I'd see 
real promise. Good enough rockers here but they sound like songs 
by a band just starting and not yet confident in The rock, a far cry 
from where this band should be. Good song titles, though. 


VON LMO “Advance Yourself’ (Flemishmasters.org 8581 Santa 
Monica Blvd. #447 West Hollywood, CA 90069) In his odd book 
girwi: v 

Universe. Chcuk Eddy calls this 1981 LP the 347th. Of course 
Chuck seems to think there are less than 500 great Heavy Metal 
albums and starts putting down the last hundred or two. Not sure 
where that puts #347, but nnetheless, in my (unwritten) book, this 
is one of the greatest albums of all time, and its reissuance is a Space 
Godsend. Combinign a merely conceptual Metal edge with Prog 
Jazz weirdness. rogue gravity thorums, space horns, electronic 
instruments form the future and Capt. Kirk meets Talking Heads 
meets VON LMO vocals, this reinvents punk, New Wave. No Wave 
und predicts Death Metal. Long live VON LMO! 


The Waxwings “low to the ground” (Bobsled POB 6407 Aurora. 
IL 60598) The finest offering to date from Bobsled’s stable of stars. 
Classic harmony pop, excellent vocals and hooks and lovingly 
produced. There's a definite Television/Byrds/Velvets feel here. a 
well much drunk from but when the water is sweet and cool you 
don’t ask for wine. 


The Weakerthans “Left and leaving” (Sub City) It's a punk label 
und a punk pedigreed band, but these songs could be on Lite FM 
{if the lyrics were ignored) and testosterone is in complete check on 
this puppy. Very impressive, with some serious packaging. 


Pete Weiss & The Rock Band “We're An Amencan Band” (Section 
3043. Box 2224 Woburn, MA 01888) Though no two songs 
contain the same aspect of absurdity, each is equally quirky and 
strange in a decidly different way. ranging from oddly 
instrumentalized straight pop to non-English nonsense to goofy 
covers to a jingle..and beyond. Apparently this is a goodbye 
project, though it's the first I've heard of the ambitious goofs. 
Goodbye. 


Welfare “On A Mission |2" ep (Rocknroll Blitzkrieg) There is some 
fucked up. amazing architecture here! Not only is there a mussive, 
monolithic wall of sound, but it has a reinforcement wall of 
feedback, and it’s tuckpointed with a mighty dual vocal attack. 
creating some of the sturdiest monster punk-metal this side of 
Transylvania. Whatever these Welfare recipients are putting on their 
Link cards, | wanna eat some. too! 


Whatever It Takes “Can't Stop Your World From Changing” 
sampler. Whoa! By far the most off key caterwauling ever on a 
modern punk (modern meaning pop punk/emo hybrid) record 
EVER! To the point where it’s fascinating. I'd go see them live 
just to see the singer give it his all. 


White Hassle “Life Is Still Sweet” (Orange) Cowboys without hats 
making ride-the-range music for people who'll never own Range 
Rovers. and harmonious harmonica Bluesifies some big beats in 
beautiful ways. 


Whizzbanger Guide To Zine Distributors! ($3. POB 559! 
Portland, OR 97228) Tons of resources for getting your zine into 
people's grubby little hands, 


Andre Williams “The Black Godfather” (In The Red) Andre’s 
GIANT album...the first record in his catalogue that matches his 
SUPERSTAR personality. From the Pen and Pixel inspired album 
cover art to the Mega-Iintro to the nasty production. this achieves 
the lofty levels Andre himself will gladly tell you he has reached. if 
you're un old timey Fortune label fan, these tracks don’t really 
invoke the clever hit singles mentality. and are more about the 
album groove. but if you're one of the countless army of fans who 
scein to not recognize the 50s and 60s tracks at Andre's recent 
shows. this is for YOU. Ironically. there are nasties but goodies on 
here that Andre's been wying to record for 40 yeurs. but no lubel 
would let him. Leave it to In The Red to be the answer to BET's 
nightly question. “Who the hell left the gute open?” 


The Woggles “Fractured” (Telstar POB 1123 Hoboken. NJ 07030) 
The whole world is a frat house. the whole world is a 
sideshow/revival tent and the whole world is 2 garage when you 
wiggle to the Woggles. There is no band on the circuit today as 
fun to see as thus combo, and this record captures the manic magic 
with authority. { dare you not to dance to this' Key trax: “Love Is 
Such A Vise," “Takamatsu Twist,” “Bleedin’ Me Down.” 


World Warped III Live compilation (SideOne Dumy) It’s hard to 
uppreciate the music of the Warped tour without ramp wicks. but 
give it a try here with some good cuts by Amazing Crowns. MXPX. 
Lunachicks. Anti-Flag and 20 more 


The Yo-Yo’s “Uppers and Downers” (Sub Pop) Remember when it 
seemed weird that Sub Pop would put out singles by The Beach 
Boys and Cheap Trick? Well it's a new century and now they are 
putting out a record that’s sure to BE A MILLION SELLING 
SMASH TOP 430 RADIO HIT! OK, it won't. but this is a pseudo 
ruff edged (awesome sneer and cigarette cover pose) Pop and Roll 
combo who have a song called “Head Over Heels” that's catchier 
than the Go-Go's version (get it. the Yo Yo's are the the T-Birds to 
the Go-Go's Pink Ladies). A cellphone diatribe keeps them from 
completely swimming in the 50s. 70s and 80s. 


XTC “Wasp Star (Apple Venus Volume 2)" (TVT) OK, I'm not 
going to argue about these guys being pop geniuses and all. but 
does unyone notice these songs are kind of awful? 


The Zine Yearbook ($7, POB 1225 Bowling Green OH 43402) A 
hefty collection of some of the best zine articles from °99, including 
something from Roctober. This thick book (140+ big pages) is a 
super burgain. 


GUEST REVIEW BY MADELINE BOCARO: 

The Sex Pistols in The Filth and The Fury - The Filth and The 
Furv is an exemplary film about an important period in British 
history - the 1970s. It should be shown in every high school 
history class. Director Julien Temple gets another crack at the Sex 
Pistols as his subject after 1980's “The Great Rock n' Roll 
Swindle”. but with a new twist - humanity. 

Though they were hygienically and linguistically foul, the racket 
the Pistols made was pristine and clear in its intent. Though the 
lyrics were snide and bleak. they were a mad celebration of youth 
and rebellion. The music was actually quite melodic and uplifting, 
probably due to bassist Glen Matlock’s love of the Beatles. The 
chorus of “No Future” was a glorious anti-national anthem, sung 
with exuberance and joy despite the fact that the message was a 
pessimistic one. The dirge-like “We Shall Overcome” was sung by 
MLK’s followers with poignant sadness. yet the Pistols’ “No 
Future” was chanted in pure reverie. Against the monarchy. aguinst 
youth repression. against discrimination, and aguinst disco 
Watching people in flares walk past all the trash in London's streets 
during the garbage strike, Rotten saw they were clearly missing the 
point. “Wear the garbage bag!” The Pistols’ fashion: ripped and 
pinned clothing was actually created out of poverty. 

{tis a humourous and touching film as well, especially when Rotten 
comes to tears while speaking of Sid’s demise. Who would have 
thought that the closest bond in the band would be between Rotten 
and Vicious. The narration was by all the band members in 
silhouette - clearly illustrating their feeling that they had all been 
rape victims. The rapist himself, Malcolm McLaren is represented by 
a respiring black rubber mask - the bondage that resuricted the band 
Juxtaposed throughout are scenes from British comedy shows from 
which Rotten amassed his wide range of exaggerated facial 
expressions, and scenes from Richard The ili, in which Laurence 
Olivier spputs lines perfectly coinciding with the Pistols’ own 
story. After all. they had an exceptional sense of theatrics. 

Whether floating down the Thames on a barge pluying “God Save 
The Queen” on the day of the Queen's Silver Jubilee or performing 
for missile-tossing rednecks in Texus, the Pistols remained resilient 
und allegiant to their kamikaze mission. All the energy put into 
bunning them both in the UK and the US forcing them to play 
under assumed names caused more of a sensation than the harmless 
Pistols would have ever caused on their own. 

The live concert footage (overdubbed with studio tacks) was 
remarkable, especially a charity party the band played at for children 
of firemen who had lost their jobs. Rotten proclaims it one of the 
best times he had. being lovingly covered in cream pies by very 
young children as he sang. “Mommy. I'm not an animal! Quite 
touching. 

Their name was conceived by McLaren to depict A Clockwork 
Orange sort of maniacal youth gang: a pack of sexy guys 
brandishing weapons, but the Pistols were actually too charmingly 
laughable to pull off that image. The shots of the band as cheeky 
kids with mischievous smiles against a soundtrack of the Pistols’ 
dauntless anarchistic diatribes on television depicted their genuine 
innocence. All they really did was tell the truth. and as Rotten 
suys. “We declared war on England without meaning to.” 


80 





mz BEAU 
GRUMPUS 


PANCAKE BREAKFAST 


adag 





BIZARRE FOOD FACTS 


(not necessanily for the weak of stomach) 


‘doctors’ who based their treatment on 
herbal remedies, scalding steam baths and 
emesis (the induction of vomiting!) as a 
way lo raise body temperature 90 as to 
sweat out impurities. Kind of like the late- 
night burritos after an evening of drinking. 
but cayenne served another purpose to the 
Thomsonians, and in the other direction: 
enemas! 

*Gelatin (and America’s favorite 39¢ 
dessert, Jell-O}, is made with powdered 
beef bones. 

*The popular Yiddish term schmaltz. 
which has come to mean excessively sen- 
timental (“...and the white man had the 
schmaltz,” from “Let There Be Rock” by 
AC/DC). was originally used by European 
Jews to mean chicken fat. 

*Crisps. as potato chips are known in 
Britain, come in more vanties than your 
typical BBQ - common flavors include 
ketchup, curried prawn, roast beef and 
turkey & stuffing. 

* Another British delicacy, lovingly known 
as ‘Spotted Dick,” is your basic sponge 
pudding (sponge pudding?!), made from 
beef suct (the hard fatty tissue around the 
loins and kidneys), with currants mixed in 


*Head cheese is not cheese. but is head... 
basically a jeilied meat loaf made from 
boiled animal heads with other scraps of 
Theat. 

*Durian, a fruit found mostly in Asia, has 
an exquisite taste and a custard-like 
consistency but such a homble smell 
(likened to ‘rotting flesh, ‘old gym socks” 
or ‘like eating pudding in = an 
outhouse’!) that in Malaysia they don't 
even allow you to carry one ia a rental car 
- special stickers. similar to the more 
popular “No Smoking’ signs found 
elsewhere in the world, actually impose a 
fine simply for having one in the car! 
*A popular Chinese Dim Sum dish is 
chicken feet, steamed until the cartilage 
and gristle is soft and greasy. while stil! 
retainging its shape. I've eaten one of 
these, and on a first date. Needless to say 
that didn't last too long. 

*Non-believers may find ammo tn the fact 
that Ricky Martin's first band, Menudo. is 
also a Mexican soup made of boiled tripe 
(the stomach lining of a cow.) but I like to 
think of its celebrated restorative power 
for hangovers as more la vida loca! 


Hand me the Pepto-Bismol, 


[yo 





NITR@ —~ ke 


RECORDS 


y \ www.nitrorecords.com 


Records & Stuff We Sell: 


121. BLUETIP ‘Polymer’ * © 
120. FUGAZI instrument’ soundtrack - 18 songst* ©) 
118. ONE LAST WISH —s"? ssnszrom'ta¢. co 
17. LUNGFISH ‘The Unanimous Hour’ 
80. FUGAZI 9 gait Arauie nvels a pal visos 
16. BLUETIP ‘Join Us 
i 15. LUNGFISH ‘Aruficial Horizon’ 
113. MAKE-UP ‘In Mass Mind’ 
112. SMART WENT CRAZY ‘con are’ (tPoniy) 
110. FUGAZI ‘End Hits’ * 
109. HAPPY GO LUICKY {rom 87-08. Gone 
lOl. BLUETIP 'Dischord No. 10l' * € 
40. MINOR THREAT oO tas every song! (€) 
14. DISCHORD 198] satcirens £8 © 


*reguiar CD. price @ /* Cassente. price © 


OMODOOODO®S 


Price Guide, including postage, in U.S. $: 
USA.  gcanaca = Airmail 
a 3.50 4.50 6.50 
LP 9.00 11.00 14.00 
CD 10.00 11.00 13.00 
MaxiCD 12.00 13.00 15.00 
Video 18.00 20.00 23.00 


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